Issue 14 望老大们帮忙看看改改在给点建议

runningpiggyUID: 194977

首篇issue，写了挺久的可还是感觉不太爽，希望大家能给点建议，谢谢！

34. 'Instead of requiring students to take courses in a variety of disciplines-that is, courses ranging from the arts and the humanities to the physical and biological science-colleges and universities should allow student to enroll only in those courses that will help prepare them for jobs in their chosen fields. Such concentration is necessary in today's increasingly work-oriented society.'

Numerous people live under a widespread notion that we do not have to educate students to be a erudite one, instead we should focus on the courses that will help student to be better prepared for their potential jobs. Nonetheless, people who cherish such a pragmatic belief overlook the ultimate goal of education, which is to render people possess a better life. Thus, in my point of view, the university should continue to require students to have a variety of courses that range from natural science to humanities and social science, while emphasizing the significance of the job skills, without which probably most of us cannot even live a life.

Crucial as the courses relevant to job skills for the students to obtain better job opportunities in this so-called increasingly work-oriented society, the real object of education is not only to train people to be a worker, but a citizen. To acquire the qualities of a citizen, which are ability to live, work, love, and so on, a student have to be educated various courses. For instance, the study of art makes a person able to appreciate the aesthetics, the study of logic teaches a person the ability of critical thinking, and the study of history trains a person to learn from the past and to some extent, predict the future. Almost every disciplines have its meaning to be exist in the education system, especially in the universities, in which the most educated person is studying, instructing, debating, and consequently enhancing. Hence, the variety of subjects ought to be contained, when we take the object of education into consideration.

Not only does the object of education require us to take various courses, but also the innate desire of human beings urges us to do so. Abraham Maslow, a distinguished American social psychologist, published his theory of hierarchy of human needs, revealing that there are five strata of human needs, composed of physiological needs, safety needs, love needs, esteem needs, and needs of self-actualization. Courses that render us better prepared for the jobs are only fulfilling the basic two needs of humans, physiological needs and safety needs. For the other three, we have to take several other courses to achieve them. The experiences of Isaac Newton serve as a great example. Newton, the most eminent physicist after Aristotle and before Einstein, though gained an outstanding academic achievement in the field of physics, he lacked the abilities of socializing and accordingly was to some extent debased by his contemporary counterparts due to his disposition, which is in other words, losing the needs of love. Therefore, only through the study of job-related courses will the students be unable to implement these five needs of human beings.

Admittedly, fulfilling the basic needs is some people's greatest craving, and perhaps the only one. Because of the existence of such people, we may just provide them the training relating to the jobs. It is such training that is the most essential education a person needs. When we consider the tragedy of Picasso and Van Gogh, both of whom are preeminent impressionists but was struggling towards poverty throughout their lives, we feel as if we were in the blizzard of myriad demands of job-relevant abilities and unable to observe any light of appreciating the beauty of our lives and our world. Indeed, we have to be well educated with the job-related courses in order to survive. As a result, I partially assent to that common notion held by most people.

In summary, it is true that we have to encourage students to enroll in courses that will help student to find a better job in the future, whereas we should also makes as great an effort as possible to instruct students to be citizens, who is not just repeating the same procedure in the factory or in the office every day, but enjoying their lives and fulfilling their needs.

runningpiggyUID: 194977

ding

medwinUID: 189909

Numerous people live under（用with比较好）a widespread notion that we do not have to educate students to be a erudite one, instead we should focus on the courses that will help student to be better prepared for their potential jobs. Nonetheless, people who cherish such a pragmatic belief overlook the ultimate goal of education, which is to render people possess a better life. Thus, in my point of view, the university should continue to require students to have a variety of courses that range from natural science to humanities and social science, while emphasizing the significance of the job skills, without which probably most of us cannot even live a life.（个人感觉这一段太长了，表明观点即可，前面几句论述可以放到下面）

Crucial as the courses relevant to job skills for the students to obtain better job opportunities in this so-called increasingly work-oriented society, the real object of education is not only to train people to be a worker, but a citizen. To acquire the qualities of a citizen, which are ability to live, work, love, and so on, a student have to be educated various courses. For instance, the study of art makes a person able to appreciate the aesthetics, the study of logic teaches a person the ability of critical thinking, and the study of history trains a person to learn from the past and to some extent, predict the future. Almost every disciplines have its meaning to be exist in the education system, especially in the universities, in which the most educated person is studying, instructing, debating, and consequently enhancing. Hence, the variety of subjects ought to be contained, when we take the object of education into consideration.
（我认为这一段主要讲的是各种学科的意义，但是似乎并没有说他们对于citizen的重要性，不妨吧TS改的更广一点，比如教育的本质目的是实现人能力全面综合的提高）
Not only does the object of education require us to take various courses, but also the innate desire of human beings urges us to do so. Abraham Maslow, a distinguished American social psychologist, published his theory of hierarchy of human needs, revealing that there are five strata of human needs, composed of physiological needs, safety needs, love needs, esteem needs, and needs of self-actualization. Courses that render us better prepared for the jobs are only fulfilling the basic two needs of humans, physiological needs and safety needs. For the other three, we have to take several other courses to achieve them. The experiences of Isaac Newton serve as a great example. Newton, the most eminent physicist after Aristotle and before Einstein, though gained an outstanding academic achievement in the field of physics, he lacked the abilities of socializing and accordingly was to some extent debased by his contemporary counterparts due to his disposition, which is in other words, losing the needs of love.（看到这里才知道牛顿怎么回事，其实这个可以直接说，绕的太多弯子，比如尽管牛顿在学术上令人瞩目，但在爱情上确不尽人意，因为...） Therefore, only through the study of job-related courses will the students be unable to implement these five needs of human beings.

Admittedly, fulfilling the basic needs is some people's greatest craving, and perhaps the only one. Because of the existence of such people, we may just provide them the training relating to the jobs. It is such training that is the most essential education a person needs. When we consider the tragedy of Picasso and Van Gogh, both of whom are preeminent impressionists but was struggling towards poverty throughout their lives, we feel as if we were in the blizzard of myriad demands of job-relevant abilities and unable to observe any light of appreciating the beauty of our lives and our world.（不妨改成as if we were unable to observe any light of appreciating the beauty of our lives and our world for we were in the blizzard of myriad demands of job-relevant abilities，这样可以突出后者，支持上面的例子）Indeed, we have to be well educated with the job-related courses in order to survive. As a result, I partially assent to that common notion held by most people.

In summary, it is true that we have to encourage students to enroll in courses that will help student to find a better job in the future, whereas we should also makes as great an effort as possible to instruct students to be citizens, who is not just repeating the same procedure in the factory or in the office every day, but enjoying their lives and fulfilling their needs.

总结：
语言不错，学习ing
例子举得很充分，每个body都有例证
只是一些细节的地方值得注意
此外，B1， B2前面不妨加上个表示逻辑关系的副词，比如First，Second等等，可使结构感更强，又可增加字数

也帮我看看我的issue吧，虽然写的不如你，在签名档里

runningpiggyUID: 194977

顶住别沉