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[i习作temp] ISSUE21 大家来拍拍!留连接 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-3-6 15:28:26 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
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发表于 2005-3-7 15:28:03 |只看该作者
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板凳
发表于 2005-3-8 13:56:14 |只看该作者

我不会用蓝色不好意思,看起来麻烦点哦

Recently, many people pay attention to a controversial problem whether reform is seldom brought about by people who are concerned with their own reputation and social standing. Different people would give different answers to it due to their different experience. As for me, I am inclined to support the idea stated in the title for some reasons.(模版用的不错)

First of all, it is necessary to understand that reform is defined as making better or improving by removal of faults according to dictionary(不需要把,说是general view就行了), which may make people study the issue better. According to this mean, only people engaging in making something better or removing faults can be considered as reformer, which should be taken as criterion to analyze the Industrial Revolution in Britain. Bourgeois carried out a reform in order to break through the conventional institution which benefited to king and nobles, because the conventional institution hampered the development of productivity, in other words, it confined the development of bourgeois since they were delegates of more advanced productivity. Once the reform (add were,虚拟语气)executed successfully, it means that the king and nobles would lose part of powers and positions or even all. With caring for their reputation and social standing, not only the king and nobles never took part in the reform, but also they would try their best to suppress it. Apparently, the king and nobles hardly satisfy with the criterion of reformer as long as reluctant to give up their reputation and social standing.(这句放到前面一句的前面,更好,你体会一下,再加上一句总结)

Furthermore, thorough success can be achieved in a reform only after those people, regardless reputation and social standing, joining in as impetus. Although some people who consider their social standing more take part in reform also, it is only to cater for the imponderable trend which makes those people bent to social pressure and budged in a finite field. Actually, nobody can accomplish a reform successfully with this thought. Copernicus had embraced a high social standing because of teaching in Rome University as a profession in his early life. If Copernicus concerned his own position, he might impart as book written without suspicion, but in contrary, not only he did (did he)question textbooks, but also research them(them 指代不名) with giving up the job. Three decades pasted, 'Heliocentric system' was established, which is an important reform to make progress with the human's recognition to cosmos. The example illustrates that regardless social standing completely is one of the most important keys to assure a reform.

Admittedly, the contributions of people who are concerned with their own reputation and social standing to impulse reform are indelible, but they are only the minority and it is possible that this reform may be not contradictory to their social standing, in(In ) fact, those people are feigned. Their intention is to consolidate their own social standing by disguising as a reformer, thus, they can reform some aspects which are lethal to their position. However, those people are usually the biggest obstacle for a real reform.(我觉得这段观点很新颖,应该举例让人信服)

To sum, it is possible that people would never be able to achieve the same conclusion on this complex issue. However, from what has been discussed above, there is little doubt that more and more people will accept the view that people who are concerned with their own reputation and social standing would never take a reform into effect in the most of circumstances.

总的来说,写的不错,例子很具体,看的准备的很充分,
但在平衡观点上要在斟酌一下
才爬过了小山头,离颠峰还远着~~

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发表于 2005-3-8 16:07:12 |只看该作者
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发表于 2005-3-8 16:08:23 |只看该作者
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发表于 2005-3-9 01:18:11 |只看该作者
我今天正好也在看这题,看了点范文,以下为个人意见:
例子没问提,最好也说一下davy也在chemistry中reform,innovation,这例子我想了半天
你三段都在肯定观点,就第三点有点让步,虽说不是不可以,但可能有比较大的风险
我觉得可以改成:
1.        还是你那样
2.        说generally speaking people only concerned reputation cannot conduct reform thoroughly.
                     你是正过了说的——只有regard less of reputation 才能reform successfully
                     我觉得反过了说好
3.        让不,就说 people through reform 可以gain reputation,因为有成功的改革

           要我就这样写,不知你觉得如何
才爬过了小山头,离颠峰还远着~~

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发表于 2005-3-9 17:42:32 |只看该作者
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RE: ISSUE21 大家来拍拍!留连接 [修改]

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