issue36 同主题写作 第一篇作文,望大家狠拍

xuding_godUID: 179213

第一次写issue,用了一个半小时,以后要限时了,欢迎大家的意见.

36.The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------正文
        When talked about who can decide the inividuals’ greatness, people may find it hard to come to consensus because of their different experiences and dissimilarity values. Some may claim that only the follows after them can make a decision to the individuals greatness, while others advocate that the achievement of individuals should be justice by their contemporaries. But in my opinion, such an issue should depend on a case-by-case analysis, and I am concerned that both contemporaries and descendants can make the decisions for the greatness of individual, the concept of values in the society also play a important role.
        First, there is supported that those who live behind can identify some of the greatness more clearly. For example, the Copernicus whit his “the theory revolve around the son”, in his century, was thought to be blasphemed and no one could believe that, the fanatical Christians even boring the scientist called Bruno, who supported the Copernicus, before a cathedral for the heresy. But just as the development of science and technology, when man can get more information from the telescope and other instruments, they funded that the “the theory revolve around the sun” seems to be one of the greatest and useful theories in the century about our universe. It’s give a completed conceptual of the astronomy. That’s to say, some aspect of the science research should take a long time to show their values, that they can’t bring out an instantly affect, so there is need some time to the follows to discover their greatness.
         This is also happened in the art and literature realms. Many of the great figures that we admire today died in obscurity, just like Van Gogh. When he alive, no one appreciated his productions. But after he died for years, his pictures were holed in the LIFO museum, selling at an unbelievable high price, nearly everyone of them are see to make a human treasures. How about we think, how about the men live in the Van Gogh’s century thought, no one knows it. So I hard to say that some of the great people are real go ahead of their times that only take a decades, or even centuries that people can fulli wnderstand and evluate their greatness.
         Then somebody may asked, just like you said above, there is no contemporaries to decided the human’s greatness, and I will say “NO”. Contemporaries can also make decision for the greatness of individuals. Take the Noble Prize for example, this prize is thought to be the highest honors to the people who are still alive and make outstanding oblations to the mankind. And the decision to give out the prize to who is usually made by the experts contemporaries. So, we can clearly see that, every Noble Prize winner of his own aspect, there greatness are decided by the contemporaries not by the descendant. Mother Teresa, concerned whit the poor, were given the Noble Prize for her kindhearted, Mandela, thought as a famous “solder for freedom”, wined the prize when he leaded the overthrowing racial-discrimination. Honking make the new theory about the universe black hole… Many people show their effort in the society to make it progress just as we can see and realize, so we attain the power to decided their greatness by our experiences. That’s to say not only the descendents but also the contemporaries can make that judgments.
          And in finally, I want to say that the two, with their own special viewpoint to mutually their society, can decide both some greatness. Each society have its owe judgment of value, the views are incomparable. Some useless theories in the past may be so wildly used in the modern world, and some outdated today seems to be greatness in the earlier period. The greatness of individuals should not be so easy decided, the man, the society, make the decision together.
          Consequently, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, which some intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may self arrive at the conclusion that either contemporaries or descendants or both can make decision to the greatness of the individuals, and whose decisions seem better are depended on the greatness self-characteristic.

davidjackyUID: 135962

把你的思路写到同主题写作精华贴那里，按照我给的格式进行发表，希望多讨论，可以和朽木白哉、caudillo 、windpassme 、bbyu在那个地方好好讨论互改一下

xuding_godUID: 179213

好,谢谢了

ivyshoulUID: 195537

占坐

sblbaslerUID: 175229

When talked about who can decide the inividuals’ greatness, people may find it hard to come to consensus because of their different experiences and dissimilarity values. Some may claim that only the [U]follows [/U]  [B][应该是descendants][/B] after them can make a decision to the individuals greatness, while others advocate that the achievement of individuals should be justice by their contemporaries. But in my opinion, such an issue should depend on a [U]case-by-case [/U] [B][这个是咱们这么用吧，老外不一定懂吧][/B]  analysis, and I am concerned that both contemporaries and descendants can make the decisions for the greatness of individual, the concept of values in the society also play [U]a [/U]  important role.
First, [U]there is supported[/U]  [B][不能这样写，可以这样,there exists a belief that ][/B] that those who live behind [B][少宾语吧][/B] can identify some of the greatness more clearly. For example, the Copernicus whit his “the theory revolve around the son”, in his century, was thought to be [U]blasphemed[/U]  [B][这个词的使用值得商榷][/B] and no one could believe that, the fanatical Christians even boring the scientist called Bruno, who supported the Copernicus, before a cathedral for the heresy. But just as the development of science and technology, when [U]man[/U]  [B][men][/B] can get more information from the telescope and other instruments, they funded that the “the theory revolve around the sun” seems to be one of the greatest and useful theories in the century about our universe.[U] It’s [/U]  [B][this example][/B] give[U]s[/U]  a completed conceptual of the astronomy. That’s to say, some aspect of the science research should take a long time to show their values, that they can’t bring out an instantly affect, so there is need some time to the follows to discover their greatness.

[U]This is also happened [/U]  [B][This also happened][/B] in the art and literature realms. Many of the great figures that we admire today died in obscurity, just like Van Gogh. When he [B][was][/B] alive, no one appreciated his [U]productions[/U] [B][work][/B] . But after he died for years, his pictures were [B][U]holed[/U] [/B]   in the LIFO museum, [U]selling [/U] [B][sold][/B]  at an unbelievable high price, nearly everyone of them are see to make a human treasures. [U]How [B]do[/B] we think[/U] , [U]how about the men live[/U]  in the Van Gogh’s century thought, no one knows it. So I [U]hard to [/U]  say that some of the great people are real go ahead of their times that only take a decades, or even centuries that people can fulli wnderstand and evluate their greatness.
Then somebody may asked, just like you said above, there is no contemporaries to decided the human’s greatness, and I will say “NO”. Contemporaries can also make decision for the greatness of individuals. Take the Noble Prize for example, this prize is thought to be the highest honors to the people who are still alive and make outstanding oblations to the mankind. And the decision to give out the prize to who is usually made by the experts contemporaries. So, we can clearly see that, every Noble Prize winner of his own aspect, there greatness are decided by the contemporaries not by the descendant. Mother Teresa, concerned whit the poor, were given the Noble Prize for her kindhearted, Mandela, thought as a famous “solder for freedom”, wined the prize when he leaded the overthrowing racial-discrimination. Honking make the new theory about the universe black hole… Many people show their effort in the society to make it progress just as we can see and realize, so we attain the power to decided their greatness by our experiences. That’s to say not only the descendents but also the contemporaries can make that judgments.
And in finally, I want to say that the two, with their own special viewpoint to mutually their society, can decide both some greatness. Each society have its owe judgment of value, the views are incomparable. Some useless theories in the past may be so wildly used in the modern world, and some outdated today seems to be greatness in the earlier period. The greatness of individuals should not be so easy decided, the man, the society, make the decision together.
Consequently, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, which some intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may self arrive at the conclusion that either contemporaries or descendants or both can make decision to the greatness of the individuals, and whose decisions seem better are depended on the greatness self-characteristic.

你的思路还可以，但就是有太多的语法错误，
只有一个建议，看本好的语法书！要快！

caudilloUID: 172911

The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------正文
When talked about who can decide the inividuals’ greatness, people may find it hard to come to consensus because of their different experiences and dissimilarity values. Some may claim that only the follows after them can make a decision to the individuals greatness, while others advocate that the achievement of individuals should be justice by their contemporaries. But in my opinion, such an issue should depend on a case-by-case analysis, and I am concerned that both contemporaries and descendants can make the decisions for the greatness of individual, the concept of values in the society also play a important role.

First, there is supported that those who live behind can identify some of the greatness more clearly. For example, the Copernicus whit with his “the theory?earth? revolve around the son sun”, in his century, was thought to be blasphemed and no one could believe that, the fanatical Christians even boring the scientist called Bruno, who supported the Copernicus, before a cathedral for the heresy. But just as the development of science and technology, when man can get more information from the telescope and other instruments, they funded that the “the theory revolve around the sun 怪怪的” seems to be one of the greatest and useful theories in the century about our universe. It’s give a completed conceptual of the astronomy. That’s to say, some aspect of the science research should take a long time to show their values, that they can’t bring out an instantly affect,; so there is need some time to the follows to discover their greatness.
建议先用word查一遍，spell错误

This is also happened in the art and literature realms. Many of the great figures that we admire today died in obscurity, just like Van Gogh. When he alive, no one appreciated his productions works更合适. But after he died for years, his pictures were holed in the LIFO museum, selling at an unbelievable high price, nearly everyone of them are see to make a human treasures. How about we think, how about the men live in the Van Gogh’s century thought, no one knows it. So I hard to say that some of the great people are real go ahead of their times that only take a decades, or even centuries that people can fulli wnderstand ？？？ and evluate their greatness.

Then somebody may asked, just like you said above, there is no contemporaries to decided the human’s greatness, and I will say “NO”. Contemporaries can also make decision for the greatness of individuals. Take the Noble Prize for example, this prize is thought to be the highest honors to the people who are still alive and make outstanding oblations to the mankind. And the decision to give out the prize to who is usually made by the experts contemporaries. So, we can clearly see that, every Noble Prize winner of his own aspect, there greatness are decided by the contemporaries not by the descendant 好像衔接有些问题. Mother Teresa, concerned whit the poor, were given the Noble Prize for her kindhearted, Mandela, thought as a famous “soldier for freedom”, wined the prize when he leaded the overthrowing racial-discrimination. Honking make the new theory about the universe black hole… Many people show their effort in the society to make it progress just as we can see and realize, so we attain the power to decided their greatness by our experiences. That’s to say not only the descendents but also the contemporaries can make that judgments.

And in finally, I want to say that the two, with their own special viewpoint to mutually their society, can decide both some greatness. Each society have its owe judgment of value, the views are incomparable. Some useless theories in the past may be so wildly used in the modern world, and some outdated today seems to be greatness in the earlier period. The greatness of individuals should not be so easy decided, the man, the society, make the decision together.这段感觉挺孤立的，可以合并一下

Consequently, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, which some intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may self arrive at the conclusion that either contemporaries or descendants or both can make decision to the greatness of the individuals, and whose decisions seem better are depended on the greatness self-characteristic.

可以先放进WORD改一下， 段段之间多打个回车，不然看得挺累的，转移了改卷人的注意力



请赐教
issue36(2nd edition) :   https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... 1291852#post1291852

枫丹UID: 166492

36.The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------正文
When talked about who can decide the inividuals’ greatness, people may find it hard to come to consensus because of their different experiences and dissimilarity values. Some may claim that only the follows after them can make a decision to the individuals greatness, while others advocate that the achievement of individuals should be justice by their contemporaries. But in my opinion, such an issue should depend on a case-by-case analysis, and I am concerned （我很关注？？）that both contemporaries and descendants can make the decisions for the greatness of individual, the concept of values in the society also play a important role.（这句是什么意思？？） （开头罗嗦了， 而且词的用法不是太地道， ）
First, there is supported （没见过这么说的：））that those who live behind can identify some of the greatness more clearly. For example, the Copernicus whit his “the theory revolve around the son” in his century, was thought to be blasphemed and no one could believe that, the fanatical Christians even boring the scientist called Bruno, （被叫做，人家本来就是嘛，呵呵）who supported the Copernicus, before a cathedral for the heresy. But just as the development of science and technology, when man can get more information from the telescope and other instruments, they funded that the “the theory revolve around the sun” seems to be one of the greatest and useful theories in the century about our universe. It’s give a completed conceptual of the astronomy. That’s to say, some aspect of the science research should take a long time to show their values, that they can’t bring out an instantly affect, so there is need some time to the follows to discover their greatness.
This is also happened in the art and literature realms. Many of the great figures that we admire today died in obscurity, just like Van Gogh. When he alive, no one appreciated his productions. But after he died for years, his pictures were holed in the LIFO museum, selling at an unbelievable high price, nearly everyone of them are see to make a human treasures. How about we think, how about the men live in the Van Gogh’s century thought, no one knows it. So I hard to say that some of the great people are real go ahead of their times that only take a decades, or even centuries that people can fulli wnderstand and evluate their greatness.（例子讲的太罗嗦了， 我认为例子重要服务于重心，用1，2句讲出来，然后分析，或在分析的时候讲例子。 尤其对于众所周知的，更没有必要详述）
Then somebody may asked, just like you said above, there is no contemporaries to decided the human’s greatness, and I will say “NO”. Contemporaries can also make decision for the greatness of individuals. Take the Noble Prize for example, this prize is thought to be the highest honors to the people who are still alive and make outstanding oblations to the mankind. And the decision to give out the prize to who is usually made by the experts contemporaries. So, we can clearly see that, every Noble Prize winner of his own aspect, there greatness are decided by the contemporaries not by the descendant. Mother Teresa, concerned whit the poor, were given the Noble Prize for her kindhearted, Mandela, thought as a famous “solder for freedom”, wined the prize when he leaded the overthrowing racial-discrimination. Honking make the new theory about the universe black hole… Many people show their effort in the society to make it progress just as we can see and realize, so we attain the power to decided their greatness by our experiences. That’s to say not only the descendents but also the contemporaries can make that judgments.
And in finally, I want to say that the two, with their own special viewpoint to mutually their society, can decide both some greatness. Each society have its owe judgment of value, the views are incomparable. Some useless theories in the past may be so wildly used in the modern world, and some outdated today seems to be greatness in the earlier period. The greatness of individuals should not be so easy decided, the man, the society, make the decision together.（这段的观点论证的不好，和前面缺少连贯性。你似乎是为了和主题照应，可是关于这个value , 如果你要说，就要尽量说清楚才好啊 What is the value? ）
Consequently, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, which some intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may self arrive at the conclusion that either contemporaries or descendants or both can make decision to the greatness of the individuals, and whose decisions seem better are depended on the greatness self-characteristic.
（我感觉你的思路还上很不错的， 可是语言没有表达好。 虽说语言不如逻辑重要，但是它毕竟是个工具， 建议你多看看好的范文 ，学学他们的表达）个人意见，仅供参考：）