argument217 机经 快要考了，请帮忙看看。

跳动的琴弦UID: 171113

作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：29分46秒     356 words
从2005年2月9日15时56分到2005年2月9日16时29分
------题目------
The following appeared in a brochure promoting the purchase of local franchises for a national chain of gyms.
'Now is the time to invest in a Power-Lift Gym franchise so that you can profit from opening one of our gyms in your town. Consider the current trends: Power-Lift Gyms are already popular among customers in 500 locations, and national surveys indicate increasing concern with weight loss and physical fitness. Furthermore, last year's sales of books and magazines on personal health totaled more than $50 million, and purchases of home exercise equipment almost doubled. Investing now in a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit.'
------正文------
Explicitly, the author claims that a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit. He provides some evidence about the trend that people are concerning their healthy lives. The evidence seemingly supports his claim; however, the reasoning of the argument suffers from several critical fallacies and the argument is thus open to some questions.

First, the gym may not adapt to all locations despite that it turns out to be popular in 500 locations. People in those 500 locations may more concern their health, or they prefer to do physical exercises in the gym. Without such people in some special places, if, Power-Lift Gym may be not so popular. Furthermore, nationwide surveys cannot represent any particular place in the whole nation. It is completely possible that there exist some places where people never concern with weight loss and physical fitness. In addition, even if people in all the locations are concerning their health, competing gyms in some locations may have already share the market, so that Power-Lift Gym may gain little.

In addition, the figure in this argument is too vague to show that numerous people prefer to do physical exercises. $50 million may be a small number in the whole books and magazines market, and the purchases of home exercise equipment may be extremely small although they almost doubled. Lacking any evidence about comparing figures, the author fails to supports his assumption that a large quantity of people would like to go to the gym.

Finally, there are two paradoxes in the argument. First, even if many people buy books and magazines on personal health, they do not necessarily do physical exercises. They may pay more attention on food or regular living habits. Second, if it is true that numerous people buy home exercise equipments, then why they will also go to the gym rather than do exercises at home? Undoubtedly, the increasing purchases of such equipment are an impact on the market of gyms.

In sum, the author fails to well reason this argument with unconvincing and insufficient evidence. The author should also make some necessary connections between the extant evidence and his claim.

跳动的琴弦UID: 171113

upup

yangtreeUID: 197483

我是新手， 一点意见仅供参考。
Without such people in some special places, if, Power-Lift Gym may be not so popular。觉得这句话不是很舒服，就像题目中的话，前面说may such people , 这里却当作真正的原因，不太和逻辑。
总体上写的很棒了，至少在我菜鸟看来，呵

iverUID: 198348

No.1 argument217 机经 快要考了，请帮忙看看。
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：29分46秒 356 words
从2005年2月9日15时56分到2005年2月9日16时29分
------题目------
The following appeared in a brochure promoting the purchase of local franchises for a national chain of gyms.
'Now is the time to invest in a Power-Lift Gym franchise so that you can profit from opening one of our gyms in your town. Consider the current trends: Power-Lift Gyms are already popular among customers in 500 locations, and national surveys indicate increasing concern with weight loss and physical fitness. Furthermore, last year's sales of books and magazines on personal health totaled more than $50 million, and purchases of home exercise equipment almost doubled. Investing now in a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit.'

------正文------
Explicitly, the author claims that a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit. He provides some evidence about the trend that people are concerning their healthy lives. The evidence seemingly supports his claim; however, the reasoning of the argument suffers from several critical fallacies and the argument is thus open to some questions.

First, the gym may not adapt to all locations despite that it turns out to be popular in 500 locations. People in those 500 locations may more concern their health, or they prefer to do physical exercises in the gym. Without such people in some special places, if, Power-Lift Gym may be not so popular. Furthermore, nationwide surveys cannot represent any particular place in the whole nation. It is completely possible that there exist some places where people never concern with weight loss and physical fitness. In addition, even if people in all the locations are concerning their health, competing gyms in some locations may have already share the market, so that Power-Lift Gym may gain little.

In addition, the figure in this argument is too vague to show that numerous people prefer to do physical exercises. $50 million may be a small number in the whole books and magazines market, and the purchases of home exercise equipment may be extremely small although they almost doubled. Lacking any evidence about comparing figures, the author fails to supports his assumption that a large quantity of people would like to go to the gym.

Finally, there are two paradoxes in the argument. First, even if many people buy books and magazines on personal health, they do not necessarily do physical exercises. They may pay more attention on food or regular living habits. Second, if it is true that numerous people buy home exercise equipments, then why they will also go to the gym rather than do exercises at home? Undoubtedly, the increasing purchases of such equipment are an impact on the market of gyms.

In sum, the author fails to well reason this argument with unconvincing and insufficient evidence. The author should also make some necessary connections between the extant evidence and his claim.To better evaluate his argument, there are also other...此处需要再写一些,表达出如果希望论断成立,需要那些条件,将文章充实,

还有时间上的逻辑错误可以提出!
<Issue162   https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=254072
Issue51    https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252778
Issue185   https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252572
Issue61    https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252108

Argument212  https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251935>

flyfish9UID: 156664

楼上的说法我不是很同意，首先ETS并不关心结尾，在高分范文的commentary中从来没有提过结尾如何如何。其次，这种“改进意见模式”除了增加结尾段的长度并没有什么实际效果，因为Argument是让你 discuss how well reasoned you find this argument, 你find 就行了，提how to improve干什么呢？
当然提了也没错，关键是时间问题。浪费了时间在这一句上，比较可惜。我以前也是写着一句的，但是限时之后发现写这一句还不如检查修正一下低级错误更划算。

flyfish9UID: 156664

楼主的文章很不错，提出了几个攻击点，并且对前两个：“部分地区的情况不代表全部情况”和“5千万美元和购买量加倍不代表市场很大（5千万美元的市场应该已经不小了吧，汗~~~）”进行了展开。语言也不错，反正比我强。
However，我也刚写了这一篇，觉得这个topic攻击点甚多，比较好写。所以楼主在有信心的同时，也要戒骄戒躁啊:)

flyfish9UID: 156664

Argument217: 366 words 30 minutes
The following appeared in a brochure promoting the purchase of local franchises for a national chain of gyms.
'Now is the time to invest in a Power-Lift Gym franchise so that you can profit from opening one of our gyms in your town. Consider the current trends: Power-Lift Gyms are already popular among customers in 500 locations, and national surveys indicate increasing concern with weight loss and physical fitness. Furthermore, last year's sales of books and magazines on personal health totaled more than $50 million, and purchases of home exercise equipment almost doubled. Investing now in a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit.'

Before investing in a Power-Lift Gym, people who have this plan should examine the evidence given in this argument from several other angles. The author of this argument seems to believe this investigation will guarantee a quick profit, without examining other factors that may affect the profit.

First, the evidence provided in this argument cannot indicate the trends that people are going to pay more attention to their excises, although the author seems to believe so. The author give the evidence that last year's sales of books and magazines on personal health totaled more than $50 million, without providing the data of sales several years ago, which is possibly much more than that of last year's $50 million. He/she also stated that the purchases of home exercise equipment almost doubled without considering if it is the symbol that people begin to pay more attention to the exercises. It is entirely possible that many people's home exercise equipment happens to be broken last year and they need to buy new ones to replaces old ones; not because they care more about home exercises. If so, since they have bought new ones last year, it is unlikely for them to buy any more equipment in several years after that.

Second, even if people really began to pay more attention to their health and excises nationally, it is also not convincing that the investigation in a Power-Lift Gym franchise can make profit for people in all the area of the country. It is possible that the trends people care more about excises only exist in some areas of the country, for example, where people are richer, or where people have more extra time, or where residents’ average age is lower so that they prefer excising. So it is important for people who want to invest in Gym to examine the circumstance of local area at the beginning.

Finally, even if everyone in your area cares about the exercise, it is also too hasty to draw a conclusion that this investigation can make profit for you. Will those people who care about exercise choose Power-Lift? Is the cost of Power-lift too high? These are all needed to be considered.

hanson_wonnUID: 197715

There are still other fallcies in this argument.
In the last sentence of the article, the author argues that investing now in a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit.Nevertheless, the author failed to cite enough evidence to substantiate his conclusion, since whether such an investment will be profitable should be strictly based on a cost-benefit analysis. The mere fact that more people begin to pay attention to Power-Lift Gym doesn't necessarily indicate that it will be profitable. It is highly possible that the investments exceed the costs under most circumstances.

caudilloUID: 172911

The following appeared in a brochure promoting the purchase of local franchises for a national chain of gyms.
'Now is the time to invest in a Power-Lift Gym franchise so that you can profit from opening one of our gyms in your town. Consider the current trends: Power-Lift Gyms are already popular among customers in 500 locations, and national surveys indicate increasing concern with weight loss and physical fitness. Furthermore, last year's sales of books and magazines on personal health totaled more than $50 million, and purchases of home exercise equipment almost doubled. Investing now in a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit.'
------正文------
Explicitly, the author claims that a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit. He provides some evidence about the trend that people are concerning their healthy lives. The evidence seemingly supports his claim 好像有点问题; however, the reasoning of the argument suffers from several critical fallacies and the argument is thus open to some questionsdoubt 精简点， 两句一样的话没必要 .

First, the gym may not adapt to all locations despite that it turns out to be popular in 500 locations. People in those 500 locations may more concern on/about their health, or they prefer to do physical exercises in the gym. Without such people in some special places, if, Power-Lift Gym may be not so popular. Furthermore, nationwide surveys cannot represent any particular places in the whole nation. It is completely possible that there exist some places where people never concern with weight loss and physical fitness. In addition, even if people in all the locations are concerning their health, competing gyms in some locations may have already share the market, so that Power-Lift Gym may gain little ???好像没说完.

In addition, the figure in this argument is too vague to show that numerous people prefer to do physical exercises. $50 million may be a small number in the whole books and magazines market, and the purchases of home exercise equipment may be extremely small although they almost doubled. Lacking any evidence about comparing figures, the author fails to supports his assumption that a large quantity of people would like to go to the gym.

Finally, there are two paradoxes in the argument. First, even if many people buy books and magazines on personal health, they do not necessarily do physical exercises. They may pay more attention on food or regular living habits. Second, if it is true that numerous people buy home exercise equipments 我的把这个漏了 , then why they will also go to the gym rather than do exercises at home? Undoubtedly, the increasing purchases of such equipment are an impact on the market of gyms.

In sum, the author fails to well reason this argument with unconvincing and insufficient evidence. The author should also make some necessary connections between the extant evidence and his claim.

思考的挺全面，展开的有些不够， 不过限时后我也是这样


mine:
argument217   https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=254094