issue93 同主题写作，限时超25分钟，叹气啊！稍微改了一下

山坡羊UID: 169978

限时超25分钟，叹气啊！改了一阵，主要把单词查出来，和拼写，也加了几句话。
观点：不同意。
1有必要要求个人负责。
2外力确有影响。
3虽然外力限制，个人仍有很大的选择和行动空间。
4一些情况下，个人能改变阻碍的行动的外力。
例子：贝多芬，文革选择，sars问题揭露


Issue93  第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：69分31秒     396-652 words
从2005年2月10日12时3分到2005年2月10日13时69分
------题目------
The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
------正文------
Is it true that the conception of "individual responsibility is a necessary fiction and although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making? I agree that societies must have individuals accountable for their own action. However, I disagree with the speaker's second contention; in my view, people's actions is largely determined by their own making; thus, the conception of "individual responsibility" is not a fiction but a reasonable one.

First, it is necessary that society should require individuals to be responsible for what he or she has done; otherwise, society will become a lawless, anarchical one where people have no sense of safety and.reassurance The responsibility forced everyone behaves in a proper way, not hurting others or obey the laws. Although there are some exceptions, for example, psychotics whose behavior are out of control. The most people should be responsible to their own making.

Then consider which can determine people's behavior. Admittedly, forces make an important role by influencing individuals' behavior. The circumstance around us may affect our behavior indirectly by imparting its idea and value system to influence us, also can limited our choices to some extent directly. Indeed, everyone lives in complicated conditions which may change us in some cases, especially to the psychotics who cannot control themselves.

However, people can also determine their actions in most cases by their effort. Just as the old saying goes, while God shut a door, he will leave a window. We usually have many choices in our life and work, using the current conditions we have. People can make their decision everyday, from what to eat to what to wear; from whom to be friends to whom to lover; and also the jobs, the ideas alike. Even the forces outside seems too strong to obey, people should also have their ways. For example, a history professor in my university cannot endure the violence and cruelty of abusing even killing inculpable teachers in Culture Revolution more than 30 years ago when he was a junior student, he choosechose to leave the city for remote countryside where political influence are more weak. Thus, he avoid his wrong when many of his classmates just saying that we are determined by force. Also, when Beethoven became deaf, he was not subjective to the strong force of his physical condition; he just continued his excellent composing by heart. In short, although the forces outsides might limit or impede people, it cannot determine the behavior of people entirely; people can strive to make their choice and take actions as they choice.

What is more, people can also change the forces compelling them to work for their behaviors. Although the forces inside or outside seems powerful and changeable, such as the confine of disability, poverty, the oppressionnon-democratic circumstance, people can change it in many cases. For example, WashintonWashington, who did not believe that forces from British cannot be altered and finally lead people to establish their own country; and now, the opposing from British cannot impede any Americans for ever. Another telling example is the contribution of doctorDoctor Jiang Yanyong in SARS crisis in China, who is a retired doctor in 301 People’s liberation Army in Beijing. While many politicians, doctors and nurses tell lies to public about scale of SARS problem, he disclosed the fact to public by writing to a international media bravely, and his behavior impelled the Chinese government to expose the fact and sacked the health minister and major of Beijing. It seems impossible that a doctor cannot be in accord with his or her superior and government, or cannot change the whole covered things. However, Doctor Jiang did and changed it to some extent Therefore, every doctor and nurse can freely say about the disease now, and government also learn a useful lesson about impeding saying truth. In short, people can change the forces restraining them in some cases to behavior more freely.

In sum, society is necessary to hold individuals accountable for their own behavior, and people can determine their action largely, although force might influence or impede them. The conception of “individual responsibility" is necessary and not a fiction.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

批作业

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue93 第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：69分31秒 396-652 words
从2005年2月10日12时3分到2005年2月10日13时69分
------题目------
The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
------正文------
Is it true that the conception of "individual responsibility is a necessary fiction and although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making? 【首先，反问式的开头好多人用，然后，你这样还是在restate，而且还原文照搬，不提倡】I agree that societies must have individuals accountable for their own action. However, I disagree with the speaker's second contention; in my view, people's actions is largely determined by their own making; thus, the conception of "individual responsibility" is not a fiction but a reasonable one. 【观点还是清楚的，个人能够对行为负责，因此个人责任不是fiction】

First, it is necessary that society should require individuals to be responsible for what he or she has done; otherwise, society will become a lawless, anarchical one where people have no sense of safety and reassurance. 【很好的论点】The responsibility forced everyone behaves in a proper way, not hurting others or obey the laws. Although there are some exceptions, for example, psychotics whose behavior are【单复数问题，检查！】 out of control. The most people should be responsible to their own making. 【没有展开，而且，最好是结尾总结一句，要求个人责任是为了更安全有序的社会】

Then consider which can determine people's behavior. Admittedly, forces make an important role by influencing individuals' behavior. The circumstance around us may affect our behavior indirectly by imparting its idea and value system to influence us, also can limited our choices to some extent directly. Indeed, everyone lives in complicated conditions which may change us in some cases, especially to the psychotics who cannot control themselves. 【把我们变成精神病？】

However, people can also determine their actions in most cases by their effort. 【根据你的立场，这里不应该是also，而应该是largely了】Just as the old saying goes, while God shut a door, he will leave a window. We usually have many choices in our life and work, using the current conditions we have. 【因为有选择，所以可以决定行为，好reason】 People can make their decision everyday, from what to eat to what to wear; from whom to be friends to whom to lover; and also the jobs, the ideas alike. Even the forces outside seems too strong to obey【disobey】, people should also have their ways. For example, a history professor in my university cannot endure the violence and cruelty of abusing even killing inculpable teachers in Culture Revolution more than 30 years ago when he was a junior student, he 【chose】 to leave the city for remote countryside where political influence are more weak. Thus, he avoid his wrong when many of his classmates just saying that we are determined by force. 【这个例子不错的】Also, when Beethoven became deaf, he was not subjective to the strong force of his physical condition; 【很好，多方面的force】 he just continued his excellent composing by heart. In short, although the forces outsides might limit or impede people, it cannot determine the behavior of people entirely; people can strive to make their choice and take actions as they choice. 【例子是很好的，注意一个问题，就是要强调个人决定行为是largely的，要跟你的总论点相符合】

What is more, people can also change the forces compelling them to work for their behaviors. Although the forces inside or outside seems powerful and changeable, such as the confine of disability, poverty, the【 oppression】-democratic circumstance, people can change it in many cases. For example, 【Washington】, who did not believe that forces from British cannot be altered and finally lead people to establish their own country; and now, the opposing from British cannot impede any Americans for ever. 【这个不是他一个人的成就，说是个人行为有点牵强】Another telling example is the contribution of 【Doctor】 Jiang Yanyong in SARS crisis in China, who is a retired doctor in 301 People’s liberation Army in Beijing. While many politicians, doctors and nurses tell lies to public about scale of SARS problem, he disclosed the fact to public by writing to a international media bravely, and his behavior impelled the Chinese government to expose the fact and sacked the health minister and major of Beijing. It seems impossible that a doctor cannot be in accord with his or her superior and government, or cannot change the whole covered things. However, Doctor Jiang did and changed it to some extent 【这个例子其实还是选择，选择说真相或者隐瞒，是符合你上一段的例子，不是很符合这段的论点】Therefore, every doctor and nurse can freely say about the disease now, and government also learn a useful lesson about impeding saying truth. In short, people can change the forces restraining them in some cases to behavior more freely. 【论点是有道理的，不过例子有些问题】

In sum, society is necessary to hold individuals accountable for their own behavior, and people can determine their action largely, although force might influence or impede them. The conception of “individual responsibility" is necessary and not a fiction.
【我觉得你也存在论证顺序的问题，我觉得B3B4应该放在最前面，论证主要是个人决定了行为，然后是B2让步一下，虽然外力也能影响行为，但是不是主要因素，最后是B1，正因为个人能够对行为负责，个人责任存在，所以社会需要要求个人对其行为负责，为了建立一个更安全有秩序的社会。要不然，以你的顺序，B1提出的内容与后面有些脱节，而从你的观点来看，B3B4是最重要的内容，B2只是让步，而你没有把最重要的放在前面而是把让步放在前面是不合理的。
论证还算可以的，B3的例子很不错。加油！】

山坡羊UID: 169978

[第一次得到鬼谷子的修改，happy 中！
谢谢鬼谷子！]

Issue93 第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：69分31秒 396-652 words
从2005年2月10日12时3分到2005年2月10日13时69分
------题目------
The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
------正文------
Is it true that the conception of "individual responsibility is a necessary fiction and although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making? 首先，反问式的开头好多人用，然后，你这样还是在restate，而且还原文照搬，不提倡I agree that societies must have individuals accountable for their own action. However, I disagree with the speaker's second contention; in my view, people's actions is largely determined by their own making; thus, the conception of "individual responsibility" is not a fiction but a reasonable one. 观点还是清楚的，个人能够对行为负责，因此个人责任不是fiction
[1、开头。这也是我最苦恼的一个问题，本来先写了两句没有restate的，一写发现自己的观点没有靶子展开……
尤其最困恼的是题目就有几个观点的题，我都复述和回应出来，好长啊！
正学习中……
嗬嗬，可能太小心了，生怕没回应到。
大家有没有好主意？]

First, it is necessary that society should require individuals to be responsible for what he or she has done; otherwise, society will become a lawless, anarchical one where people have no sense of safety and reassurance. 很好的论点The responsibility forced everyone behaves in a proper way, not hurting others or obey the laws. Although there are some exceptions, for example, psychotics whose behavior are单复数问题，检查！ out of control. The most people should be responsible to their own making. 没有展开，而且，最好是结尾总结一句，要求个人责任是为了更安全有序的社会[看着时间写，打字又慢，展不开啊]


Then consider which can determine people's behavior. Admittedly, forces make an important role by influencing individuals' behavior. The circumstance around us may affect our behavior indirectly by imparting its idea and value system to influence us, also can limited our choices to some extent directly. Indeed, everyone lives in complicated conditions which may change us in some cases, especially to the psychotics who cannot control themselves. 把我们变成精神病？[：本想表达没有自由意志的人……太复杂，删!]

However, people can also determine their actions in most cases by their effort. 根据你的立场，这里不应该是also，而应该是largely了[对，但觉得要论证largely困难，就保险一下了，但还是应说largely并论证，这个题目让你中庸不得]just as the old saying goes, while God shut a door, he will leave a window. We usually have many choices in our life and work, using the current conditions we have. 因为有选择，所以可以决定行为，好reason People can make their decision everyday, from what to eat to what to wear; from whom to be friends to whom to lover; and also the jobs, the ideas alike. Even the forces outside seems too strong to obeydisobey, people should also have their ways. For example, a history professor in my university cannot endure the violence and cruelty of abusing even killing inculpable teachers in Culture Revolution more than 30 years ago when he was a junior student, he chose to leave the city for remote countryside where political influence are more weak. Thus, he avoid his wrong when many of his classmates just saying that we are determined by force. 这个例子不错的Also, when Beethoven became deaf, he was not subjective to the strong force of his physical condition; 很好，多方面的force he just continued his excellent composing by heart. In short, although the forces outsides might limit or impede people, it cannot determine the behavior of people entirely; people can strive to make their choice and take actions as they choice. 例子是很好的，注意一个问题，就是要强调个人决定行为是largely的，要跟你的总论点相符合[是，没写出来，应该加两句论证，free will什么的]

What is more, people can also change the forces compelling them to work for their behaviors. Although the forces inside or outside seems powerful and changeable, such as the confine of disability, poverty, the oppression-democratic circumstance, people can change it in many cases. For example, Washington, who did not believe that forces from British cannot be altered and finally lead people to establish their own country; and now, the opposing from British cannot impede any Americans for ever. 这个不是他一个人的成就，说是个人行为有点牵强Another telling example is the contribution of Doctor Jiang Yanyong in SARS crisis in China, who is a retired doctor in 301 People’s liberation Army in Beijing. While many politicians, doctors and nurses tell lies to public about scale of SARS problem, he disclosed the fact to public by writing to a international media bravely, and his behavior impelled the Chinese government to expose the fact and sacked the health minister and major of Beijing. It seems impossible that a doctor cannot be in accord with his or her superior and government, or cannot change the whole covered things. However, Doctor Jiang did and changed it to some extent 这个例子其实还是选择，选择说真相或者隐瞒，是符合你上一段的例子，不是很符合这段的论点Therefore, every doctor and nurse can freely say about the disease now, and government also learn a useful lesson about impeding saying truth. In short, people can change the forces restraining them in some cases to behavior more freely. 论点是有道理的，不过例子有些问题[对，写时也发现了，例子正在想……]

In sum, society is necessary to hold individuals accountable for their own behavior, and people can determine their action largely, although force might influence or impede them. The conception of “individual responsibility" is necessary and not a fiction.
我觉得你也存在论证顺序的问题，我觉得B3B4应该放在最前面，论证主要是个人决定了行为，然后是B2让步一下，虽然外力也能影响行为，但是不是主要因素，最后是B1，正因为个人能够对行为负责，个人责任存在，所以社会需要要求个人对其行为负责，为了建立一个更安全有秩序的社会。要不然，以你的顺序，B1提出的内容与后面有些脱节，而从你的观点来看，B3B4是最重要的内容，B2只是让步，而你没有把最重要的放在前面而是把让步放在前面是不合理的。
[，原文重要的在后了。到了b3才是重点，太后面了。
但我想还是b1放前面，思想逻辑本是：A个人责任的必要性，B个人责任的可行性。不是因为B才有A，所以考虑先说，并且正是回应题目后一句的逻辑顺序。
还有b2的让步，如果放在后面，b2就没有靶子了啊？
还有一个想法，我觉得美国人的思维习惯是顺你的话先说，再说反对的。我就一般这样安排结构，可能有点偏颇。
那怎么解决重要的落在后面呢？我想或许可以把B2 B3合在一起，还是，再想想……]

论证还算可以的，B3的例子很不错。加油！
[再次感谢！自己现在水平还很不行，着急中！加油吧!]

枫丹UID: 166492

我觉得美国人的思维习惯是顺你的话先说，再说反对的。我就一般这样安排结构，可能有点偏颇。

我比较同意楼主得意见， 到底是先让步，找靶子，还是先猛攻，最后缓和，很困惑。
令：请教楼主一个问题，好吗？
你的例证感觉很充实，请问是你平常总结和背过的，还是写的时候灵机一动，怎样作才能使自己的论据更充实？谢谢：）

最初由 山坡羊 发布
[B][第一次得到鬼谷子的修改，happy 中！
谢谢鬼谷子！]

Issue93 第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用..

以下省略...... [/B]

山坡羊UID: 169978

to 枫丹：例证有的是临时想的，有的是自己就想过的，比如贝多芬什么的。说实话现在这个问题我也很发愁，有时临时想能想到好的，有时想到的就不行了。如果都事先列提纲吗？

让步的问题是比较麻烦。：（
谢谢你的探讨.

davidjackyUID: 135962

No.1 issue93 同主题写作，限时超25分钟，叹气啊！稍微改了一下
限时超25分钟，叹气啊！改了一阵，主要把单词查出来，和拼写，也加了几句话。
观点：不同意。
1有必要要求个人负责。
2外力确有影响。
3虽然外力限制，个人仍有很大的选择和行动空间。
4一些情况下，个人能改变阻碍的行动的外力。
例子：贝多芬，文革选择，sars问题揭露
【有四个段落？但是你这样的安排有些问题，你尝试调整一下，因为你3、4都涉及2外力，那么你干脆先说外力的影响；然后再说3、4，最后说何况，有必要让个人负责】

Issue93 第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：69分31秒 396-652 words
从2005年2月10日12时3分到2005年2月10日13时69分
------题目------
The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
------正文------
Is it true that the conception of "individual responsibility is a necessary fiction and although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making?这样的照抄实在不敢恭维，能不能转述一下 I agree that societies must have individuals accountable for their own action. However, I disagree with the speaker's second contention; in my view, people's actionsaction is largely determined by their own making; thus, the conception of "individual responsibility" is not a fiction but a reasonable one?a reasonable fiction吗？.

First, it is necessary that society should require individuals to be responsible for what he or she has done; otherwise, society will become a lawless, anarchical one where people have no sense of safety and. reassurance The responsibility forced everyone behaves in a proper way, not hurting others or obey the laws. Although there are some exceptions, for example, psychotics whose behavior are out of control. The most people should be responsible to their own making.看了你这么薄弱的论述，我看这段不要算了

Then consider which can determine people's behavior.
从这里开始写Admittedly, forces outside make an important role byin influencingand changing individuals' behavior, either indirectly by imparting public ideas and well-described value system or directly via limiting our choices to some extent. The circumstance around us may affect our behavior indirectly by imparting its idea and value system to influence us, also can limited our choices to some extent directly. Indeed, everyone lives in complicated conditions which may change us in some cases, especially to the psychotics who cannot control themselves.这个例子缺乏思考，好好考虑一下

However, people can alsoalso不要 determine their actionsby their own efforts in most cases in most cases by their effort. Just as the old saying goes, while God shut a door, he will leave a window天无绝人之路？学习中….. We usually have many choices in our life and work, using the current conditions we have. People can make their decision everyday, from what to eat to what to wear; from whom to be friends to whom to lover小声的问一下，你有男友吗？呵呵，事实上我想问的是这种what to do的结构倒问题不大，那个whom to be friends with和whom to be a lover才对，注意一下，lover是不是应该只有一个，要不怎么说来着，红什么出什么; and also the jobs, the ideas alike. Even the forces outside seemsto be too strong to obey, people should also have their waysthere should have some alternatives. For example, a history professor in my university cannot endure the violence and cruelty of abusing even killing inculpable teachers比较残忍，can not bear the violent and cruel persecution to the innocent and armless clerisy, typical of teachers, at the beginning of CR happened about 4o years before in china,when不要了 in Culture Revolution more than 30 years ago when he was a junior student, he choose to leave the city for remote countryside where political老外不太清楚这是political的影响，可以说成these influences are so weak that he 没有作同样的事情 influence are more weak. Thus, he avoid his wrong when many of his classmates just saying that we are determined by force. Also, when Beethoven became deaf, he was not subjective to the strong force of his physical condition; he just continued doing his excellent composing business或work by heart. In short, although the forces outsides might limit or impede people, itforces?单复数指代问题 cannot determine the behavior of people entirely; instead,people can strive to make their choice and take actions as they choice.

What is more, people can also change the forces compelling them to work for their behaviors. Although the forces inside?这是什么 or outside seems powerful and changeable, such as the confine of disability, poverty, the oppression non-democratic circumstance, people can change it in many cases. For example, Washington, who did not believe that forces from British cannot be altered and finally lead people to establish their own country; and now, the opposing from British cannot impede any Americans for ever. Another telling example is the contribution of Doctor Jiang Yanyong in SARS crisis in China, who is a retired doctor in 301 People’s liberation Army in Beijing. While many politicians, doctors and nurses tell lies to public about scale of SARS problem, he disclosed the fact to public by writing to a international media bravely, and his behavior impelled the Chinese government to expose the fact and sacked the health minister and major of Beijing. It seems impossible that a doctor cannot be in accord with his or her superior and government, or cannot change the whole covered things. However, Doctor Jiang did and changed it to some extent Therefore, every doctor and nurse can freely say about the disease now, and government also learn a useful lesson about impeding saying truth. In short, people can change the forces restraining them in some cases to behavior more freely.sars的例子写的比较生动，但是不太贴切，总感觉他说出真相和外界压力没有紧密联系上，人们改变外界压力的话，我想可以才革命、新学说之类的入手，好吧

In sum, society is necessary to hold individuals accountable for their own behavior, and people can determine their action largely, although force might influence or impede them. The conception of “individual responsibility" is necessary and not a fiction.又是照抄，以后要注意，这篇文章集中的问题是开头结尾，好好努力

山坡羊UID: 169978

非常感谢davidjacky的细致批改，辛苦版主了:)
观点：不同意。
1有必要要求个人负责。
2外力确有影响。
3虽然外力限制，个人仍有很大的选择和行动空间。
4一些情况下，个人能改变阻碍的行动的外力。
例子：贝多芬，文革选择，sars问题揭露有四个段落？但是你这样的安排有些问题，你尝试调整一下，因为你3、4都涉及2外力，那么你干脆先说外力的影响；然后再说3、4，最后说何况，有必要让个人负责
我想是我错了，让步太多，重点太后，谢谢！
Issue93 第20篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：69分31秒 396-652 words
从2005年2月10日12时3分到2005年2月10日13时69分
------题目------
The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
------正文------
Is it true that the conception of "individual responsibility is a necessary fiction and although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making?这样的照抄实在不敢恭维，能不能转述一下 I agree that societies must have individuals accountable for their own action. However, I disagree with the speaker's second contention; in my view, people's actionsaction is largely determined by their own making; thus, the conception of "individual responsibility" is not a fiction but a reasonable one?a reasonable fiction吗？.davidjacky好细心，这个问题我几遍没发现

First, it is necessary that society should require individuals to be responsible for what he or she has done; otherwise, society will become a lawless, anarchical one where people have no sense of safety and. reassurance The responsibility forced everyone behaves in a proper way, not hurting others or obey the laws. Although there are some exceptions, for example, psychotics whose behavior are out of control. The most people should be responsible to their own making.看了你这么薄弱的论述，我看这段不要算了论证是薄弱：（）

Then consider which can determine people's behavior.
从这里开始写Admittedly, forces outside make an important role byin influencingand changing individuals' behavior, either indirectly by imparting public ideas and well-described value system or directly via limiting our choices to some extent. 谢谢，紧凑多了！The circumstance around us may affect our behavior indirectly by imparting its idea and value system to influence us, also can limited our choices to some extent directly. Indeed, everyone lives in complicated conditions which may change us in some cases, especially to the psychotics who cannot control themselves.这个例子缺乏思考，好好考虑一下继续点头……

However, people can alsoalso不要 determine their actionsby their own efforts in most cases in most cases by their effort. Just as the old saying goes, while God shut a door, he will leave a window天无绝人之路？学习中…..不一定对，是自己翻的西方俗语 We usually have many choices in our life and work, using the current conditions we have. People can make their decision everyday, from what to eat to what to wear; from whom to be friends to whom to lover小声的问一下，你有男友吗？呵呵，事实上我想问的是这种what to do的结构倒问题不大，那个whom to be friends with和whom to be a lover才对，注意一下，lover是不是应该只有一个，要不怎么说来着，红什么出什么省了a,语法疏忽，是用的单数。不过whom to be friends吧，因为前面只说choose; and also the jobs, the ideas alike. Even the forces outside seemsto be too strong to obey, people should also have their waysthere should have some alternatives. For example, a history professor in my university cannot endure the violence and cruelty of abusing even killing inculpable teachers比较残忍，can not bear the violent and cruel persecution to the innocent and armless clerisy, typical of teachers, at the beginning of CR happened about 4o years before in china,when不要了 in Culture Revolution more than 30 years ago when he was a junior student, he choose to leave the city for remote countryside where political老外不太清楚这是political的影响，可以说成these influences are so weak that he 没有作同样的事情 influence are more weak. Thus, he avoid his wrong when many of his classmates just saying that we are determined by force. Also, when Beethoven became deaf, he was not subjective to the strong force of his physical condition; he just continued doing his excellent composing business或work by heart. In short, although the forces outsides might limit or impede people, itforces?单复数指代问题 cannot determine the behavior of people entirely; instead,people can strive to make their choice and take actions as they choice.都对，davidjacky看得好细致，感动！我的语言要达到这一水平还得努力！

What is more, people can also change the forces compelling them to work for their behaviors. Although the forces inside?这是什么呵呵，是不合适，但写时想不到更合适的，就是内力外力 or outside seems powerful and changeable, such as the confine of disability, poverty, the oppression non-democratic circumstance, people can change it in many cases. For example, Washington, who did not believe that forces from British cannot be altered and finally lead people to establish their own country; and now, the opposing from British cannot impede any Americans for ever. Another telling example is the contribution of Doctor Jiang Yanyong in SARS crisis in China, who is a retired doctor in 301 People’s liberation Army in Beijing. While many politicians, doctors and nurses tell lies to public about scale of SARS problem, he disclosed the fact to public by writing to a international media bravely, and his behavior impelled the Chinese government to expose the fact and sacked the health minister and major of Beijing. It seems impossible that a doctor cannot be in accord with his or her superior and government, or cannot change the whole covered things. However, Doctor Jiang did and changed it to some extent Therefore, every doctor and nurse can freely say about the disease now, and government also learn a useful lesson about impeding saying truth. In short, people can change the forces restraining them in some cases to behavior more freely.sars的例子写的比较生动，但是不太贴切，总感觉他说出真相和外界压力没有紧密联系上，人们改变外界压力的话，我想可以才革命、新学说之类的入手，好吧是，再想一个

In sum, society is necessary to hold individuals accountable for their own behavior, and people can determine their action largely, although force might influence or impede them. The conception of “individual responsibility" is necessary and not a fiction.又是照抄，以后要注意，这篇文章集中的问题是开头结尾，好好努力
开头结尾改善中，是我弱项中的弱项……

非常感谢davidjacky! 你说的基本都对！接受修改中！呵呵！

这两天状态不好，学不进去，两天没写了，可能还是畏难情绪吧，抖抖精神，加油：）