Argument9 熄灯前习作，盼砖！

staralwaysUID: 193479

题目：
9.The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."
15年前，Omega大学实施了一项新措施，鼓励学生对所有教授的教学效果进行评价。从那以后，Omega的教授开始给予学生更高的分数，Omega的学 生成绩总平均上升了30％。未来的雇主显然认为Omega的分数贬值了；这可以解释为什么Omega的毕业生找工作时没有邻近的Alpha大学毕业生成。 为使Omega毕业生找到好工作，我们应立即停止学生对教授的评价。

正文：
In the argument, the author recommends that Omega University should at once terminate student evaluation of professors, a procedure implemented 15 years ago, to enable its graduates to secure better jobs. To support his recommendation, the author points out that since the activity was started, the overall grades the students increased while potential employers believe they are inflated and thus the Omega students don't have good performance in getting jobs. The argument, seems to be reasonable at first glance, however, suffers from many flaws.

Firstly, the author unfairly assumes that the procedure of students evaluating professors' performance should be responsible to the higher grades the students received given by those professors. The underlying presumption of the author is that in order to have better evaluating scores, the professors intendedly heightened the grades the students got. The reality could be just the opposite. The evaluating activity stimulated the professors to think more about what they should teach, how these be taught, and how to enhance teaching effectiveness. As a result, the students could get better understanding of what they are learning, and consequently got higher grades. Without offering what the actual situation is, the assumption made by the author is groundless.

Secondly, the author wrongly construct a causality between potential employers' belief and that Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. Other facts may also contribute to this situation. For example, the companies may have massive advertisement activities in Alpha University. Under this circumstance, the graduates may have prior and better communication with those potential employers and more chances to show there ability to be competitive in the future working. Thus the employers may put graduates from Alpha University as priorities to that from Omega University, while the total local working market has a fixed capability. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author cannot convince us that the believed inflated grades, which  is possibly wrong due to the analysis above, could explain the poor performance for graduates from Omega University in seeking jobs.

Finally, the author fails to consider possible negative impact that will be imposed to the graduates to terminate the evaluation and other possible means to enable them to secure better jobs. Without such procedure, the professors maybe unable to find whether there are some problems in their teaching activities and what they are. And without proper improvements, the bad teaching effectiveness maybe actually do harm to the cultivating of students. Further more, there are other methods to promote the students' capability of seeking good job. For example, carrying out job-training courses and helping the students in developing good communication with those potential employers. Without such consideration, the author cannot convince us that his recommendation is proper.

In conclusion, the author fails to show that his recommendation is an advisble one. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provider further information concerning about the grades the students got were actually inflated and that this should be responsible to the graduates' failure to secure better jobs. To better evaluate the argument, the author should think of other possible means to enhance graduates' performance in job-seeking.

staralwaysUID: 193479

看来要顶一下了！

staralwaysUID: 193479

up!

鬼谷子UID: 159645

我占了

鬼谷子UID: 159645

题目：
9.The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."
15年前，Omega大学实施了一项新措施，鼓励学生对所有教授的教学效果进行评价。从那以后，Omega的教授开始给予学生更高的分数，Omega的学 生成绩总平均上升了30％。未来的雇主显然认为Omega的分数贬值了；这可以解释为什么Omega的毕业生找工作时没有邻近的Alpha大学毕业生成。 为使Omega毕业生找到好工作，我们应立即停止学生对教授的评价。

正文：
In the argument, the author recommends that Omega University should at once terminate student evaluation of professors, a procedure implemented 15 years ago, to enable its graduates to secure better jobs. To support his recommendation, the author points out that since the activity was started, the overall grades the students increased while potential employers believe they are inflated and thus the Omega students don't have good performance in getting jobs. The argument, seems to be reasonable at first glance, however, suffers from many flaws. 【模板化】

Firstly, the author unfairly assumes that the procedure of students evaluating professors' performance should be responsible to the higher grades the students received given by those professors. The underlying presumption of the author is that in order to have better evaluating scores, the professors intendedly heightened the grades the students got. The reality could be just the opposite. The evaluating activity stimulated the professors to think more about what they should teach, how these【what？be specific】 be 【are】taught, and how to enhance teaching effectiveness. As a result, the students could get better understanding of what they are learning, and consequently got higher grades. Without offering what the actual situation is, the assumption made by the author is groundless. 【反例分析的很详细】

Secondly, the author wrongly construct a causality 【不可数】between potential employers' belief and that Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. 【应该具体指出分数浮夸的问题】Other facts may also contribute to this situation. For example, the companies may have massive advertisement activities in Alpha University. Under this circumstance, the graduates may have prior and better communication with those potential employers and more chances to show there ability to be competitive in the future working. Thus the employers may put graduates from Alpha University as priorities to that from Omega University, while the total local working market has a fixed capability. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author cannot convince us that the believed inflated grades, which is possibly wrong due to the analysis above, could explain the poor performance for graduates from Omega University in seeking jobs. 【还可以说专业问题，学生实际能力问题，】

Finally, the author fails to consider possible negative impact that will be imposed to the graduates to terminate the evaluation and other possible means to enable them to secure better jobs. Without such procedure, the professors maybe unable to find whether there are some problems in their teaching activities and what they are. And without proper improvements, the bad teaching effectiveness maybe actually do harm to the cultivating of students. Further more, there are other methods to promote the students' capability of seeking good job. For example, carrying out job-training courses and helping the students in developing good communication with those potential employers. Without such consideration, the author cannot convince us that his recommendation is proper. 【论点有问题，题目的结论里面，停止评估和保证就业是一个因果，是一起的，这里感觉你的论点分开来说了】

In conclusion, the author fails to show that his recommendation is an advisble【advisable】 one. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provider further information concerning about the grades the students got were actually inflated and that this should be responsible to the graduates' failure to secure better jobs. To better evaluate the argument, the author should think of other possible means to enhance graduates' performance in job-seeking.
【基本的错误都有效的反驳了，开头注意不要太模板化，论证过程中注意把靶子立好。加油！】

staralwaysUID: 193479

开头有没有什么好的建议啊？避免模板化之类的？

鬼谷子UID: 159645

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=134092

imong的这个对于开头的分析我强力推荐

staralwaysUID: 193479

最初由 鬼谷子 发布
[B]https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=134092

imong的这个对于开头的分析我强力推荐 [/B]

原来以为Argument没有Issue这么麻烦，专题区里的内容倒是没有仔细看。看来前辈们的经验和分析真是十分重要啊。谢谢鬼鬼！学习去了！