issue176 今天第二篇BT题 限时 砸呀砸！

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

Issue176  第1篇 吧啦吧啦吧啦拍！
------摘要------
作者：victoriazhizhi     共用时间：43分44秒     536 words/ 580 after revised
从2005年3月12日22时47分到2005年3月12日23时31分
------题目------
The function of science is to reassure; the purpose of art is to upset. Therein lies the value of each.
------正文------
Science is as venerable, intriguing and challenging as to take half of the stage of human civilization; while the other protagonist in the scene of human history is art, which exists as the representation of image, legend and creation. Recognizing both natures of science and art, people would like to make some proposals of the functions of science and art.

Before squarely agreeing with the assertion above or denying it, I would like first to make an insightfully analysis and comprehension of "reassure" and "upset."

To say that "the function of science is to reassure" can be understood as that when people are equipped with more knowledge of science, they are more likely to have the problems that twisted them solved, or they are more likely to live a comfortable and convenience life than before; while to say that "the purpose of art is to upset" can be understood as that since the art is as imaginary, fictional, fantastic and creative as is in human history and it sometimes does not to us appear as material values, people will not get factual comfort from these fictional stuffs.

In fact, it is not true that the more science human master, the less troubles society may encounter. Historically, people are always facing more and more tensions and anxieties coming along with the advancement of science. When Copernicus' theory that sun is the centre of the universe was protested, people who were used to live quietly with the theory that the earth is the core of the universe, got into a huge skepticism and fear; When Darwin' evolutionism appeared, people were shocked to discover the dependence of their souls - the God did not exist; When Stephen Hawking built a model of universe in a nutshell, some people feel anxious of the universe and were very afraid of the collapse of the universe; When Miller invented an effective insecticide called DDT, we were also losing our mind in solving the environmental pollution brought by it. From the perspective above, it clearly follows that science presents people endless mysteries and anxiety, making the world more and more complex and difficult for people to understand nature and enjoy a relax life.

Looking back on the history of science, it is true to say that science does really solved a lot of problems and give people some reassures such as curing some diseases,  it is hardly true to say that its function is to reassure because it sometime upsets. Then some people would raise their eyes to the other dominant role- the art and claim that the art gives people reassures.

Can art reassure or upset? Opinions vary. When people are listening to some concert or watching comedies to have themselves relaxed from work, there are also some songs disturbing us, such as the Gloomy Sunday, which caused many sensitive people's death, and there are more and more dracula movie which threaten us. When we are feeling tranquil before the gorgeous paintings, we can also be astonished to see some DADA works and Surrealism art. Since the art is the expression of the internal world of artists' mind, it can both be optimistic to pleasing us and depressing to give us uncomfortable feelings.

In summery, whether the science and art can not realize the function to upset or reassure. They develop in human history and serve as the adornments embedded in our life, providing us with vivid feelings and authentic emotions, which constitute our whole life.

本来觉得45分钟只说了2/3的话 想改多点 鬼鬼建议不要那么多 我就只在原有基础修改了下语法和一些句子。砍吧 这个题无奈死了 要想说明白估计1000字都下不来 只能知道个表面

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

每次发了作文再一看就开始晕
这叫什么布局呀 段落 天呀 从来没见过这样的 晕死我了 :eek:

staralwaysUID: 193479

呵呵，艺术类不敢写，这个就当范文来看啦。:D

Science is as venerable, intriguing and challenging as to take half of the stage of human civilization; while the other protagonist in the scene of human history is art, which exists as the representation of image, legend and creation. Recognizing both natures of science and art[the nature of both science and art，感觉这样舒服点吧], people would like to make some proposals of the functions of science and art. [感觉zhizhi开头的展开都很好]

Before squarely agreeing with the assertion above or denying it, I would like first to make an insightfully analysis and comprehension of "reassure" and "upset."[觉得这段，或者说独立成为一段不是特别妥当，和下面这段合在一起就可以了。不然感觉这篇文章是要铺得很大，很容易造成虎头蛇尾的感觉。]

To say that "the function of science is to reassure" can be understood as that when people are equipped with more knowledge of science, they are more likely to have the problems that twisted them solved, or they are more likely to live a comfortable and convenience life than before; while to say that "the purpose of art is to upset" can be understood as that since the art is as imaginary, fictional, fantastic and creative as is in human history and it sometimes does not to us appear as material values, people will not get factual comfort from these fictional stuffs. [这段的分析倒真是insightful！不错！]

[这里感觉和上面那段过渡不是特别自然。我感觉如果直接从这段开始读的话，有可能感到前面有一段关于Science的让步，但是你前面的是关于Science reassures和art upsets的综述。感觉加点东西上去好。]In fact, it is not true that the more science human master, the less troubles society may encounter. Historically, people are always facing more and more tensions and anxieties coming along with the advancement of science. When Copernicus' theory that sun is the centre of the universe was protested, people who were used to live quietly with the theory that the earth is the core of the universe, got into a huge skepticism and fear; When Darwin' evolutionism appeared, people were shocked to discover the dependence of their souls - the God did not exist; When Stephen Hawking built a model of universe in a nutshell, some people feel anxious of the universe and were very afraid of the collapse of the universe; When Miller invented an effective insecticide called DDT, we were also losing our mind in solving the environmental pollution brought by it. From the perspective above, it clearly follows that science presents people endless mysteries and anxiety, making the world more and more complex and difficult for people to understand nature and enjoy a relax life.[论证部分当然很好，而且例子很多很充分。想补充一点的是要不要考虑下这种upset的作用是否是暂时的？（可能很不好说也没有例子支持，仅仅是临时想到的）]

Looking back on the history of science, it is true to say that science does really solved a lot of problems and give people some reassures such as curing some diseases, it is hardly true to say that its function is to reassure because it sometime upsets. [感觉这句到是可以放到前面那段开头的部分去呢。就是我说的过渡不自然的地方。]Then some people would raise their eyes to the other dominant role- the art and claim that the art gives people reassures.[后半句或许可以并到下面去。前面可以加点“既然科学……，那么人们把目光转向了另一半：艺术。”]

Can art reassure or upset? Opinions vary. When people are listening to some concert or watching comedies to have themselves relaxed from work, there are also some songs disturbing us, such as the Gloomy Sunday, which caused many sensitive people's death, and there are more and more[感觉这里不要用more之类的比较级之类的好，不然就感到要偏向与upsets去了，而你这里想说的是中立的。（不知道对不对啊）] dracula movie which threaten us. When we are feeling tranquil before the gorgeous paintings, we can also be astonished to see some DADA works and Surrealism art[超现实主义的的确比较夸张，尤其是表现战争和贫穷的。]. Since the art is the expression of the internal world of artists' mind, it can both be optimistic to pleasing us and depressing to give us uncomfortable feelings.

In summery, whether the science and art can not realize the function to upset or reassure.[好象不通顺] They develop in human history and serve as the adornments embedded in our life, providing us with vivid feelings and authentic emotions, which constitute our whole life.

zhizhi的论述总是没有什么大问题，尤其在用例子方面。不过这篇文章也正像自己说的，感觉段落上安排的不太合理，然后就有点Harmful to the meaning了。我对结构的看法在文章里讲了（当然只是我的啦，而且我自己文章也老是被抓结构、逻辑顺序不好），这里再清楚一下（如图）。这篇文章是最难题啊，大家多来一起讨论吧！

staralwaysUID: 193479

最初由 victoriazhizhi 发布
[B]每次发了作文再一看就开始晕
这叫什么布局呀 段落 天呀 从来没见过这样的 晕死我了 :eek: [/B]

我限时的时候，感觉能看到的就那么个小框框，前面写了什么，后面要写什么，都没有联系的这种感觉。

鬼谷子UID: 159645

The function of science is to reassure; the purpose of art is to upset. Therein lies the value of each.
------正文------
Science is as venerable, intriguing and challenging as to take half of the stage of human civilization; while the other【要说another还差不多，难道历史上只有科学和艺术？】protagonist in the scene of human history is art, which exists as the representation of image, legend and creation. Recognizing both natures of science and art, 【这里同staralways同学的意见：the natures of science and art】 people would like to make some proposals of the functions of science and art. 【什么啊？你的观点呢？】

Before squarely 【？】agreeing with the assertion above or denying it, I would like first to make an insightfully analysis and comprehension of "reassure" and "upset." 【嗯，这个想法不错,不过为什么要把这个单做一段呢？】

To say that "the function of science is to reassure" can be understood as that when people are equipped with more knowledge of science, they are more likely to have the problems that twisted them solved, 【不通】 or they are more likely to live a comfortable and convenience life than before; 【怎么reassure了啊，交代了现象以后，给个结论好不？】while to say that "the purpose of art is to upset" can be understood as that since the art is as imaginary, fictional, fantastic and creative as is in human history and it sometimes does not to us appear as material values, people will not get factual comfort from these fictional stuffs. 【这个还差不多】

In fact, it is not true that the more science human master, the less troubles society may encounter. 【通过前面限定了一下范围，这里在范围内论述，论证上有长进】 Historically, people are always facing more and more tensions and anxieties coming along with the advancement of science. When Copernicus' theory that sun is the centre of the universe was protested, people who were used to live quietly【这个表达不好】 with the theory that the earth is the core of the universe, got into a huge skepticism and fear; 【这个是不对的，我还可以说正因为有了日心说，所以很多问题解决了呢！应该举例提出了日心说之后，又产生了新的问题需要解决，因而事情变得复杂。。。issue183？呵呵】When Darwin' evolutionism appeared, people were shocked to discover the dependence of their souls - the God did not exist; When Stephen Hawking built a model of universe in a nutshell, some people feel anxious of the universe and were very afraid of the collapse of the universe; When Miller invented an effective insecticide called DDT, we were also losing our mind in solving the environmental pollution brought by it. 【行了，明白你的问题了，论点错了，按照你的例子们，你应该把论点改成科学越多，人们越upset，你论点的trouble太模糊了】From the perspective above, it clearly follows that science presents people endless mysteries and anxiety, making the world more and more complex and difficult for people to understand nature and enjoy a relax life. 【生活的问题你没说啊】

Looking back on the history of science, it is true to say that science does really solved a lot of problems and give people some reassures such as curing some diseases, it is hardly true to say that its function is to reassure because it sometime upsets. 【这个做为你上段的论点不错】 Then some people would raise their eyes to the other dominant role- the art and claim that the art gives people reassures. 【reassurance，你不是说检查过了吗】
【我觉得不用特意写一段来过渡，这样有点散】

Can art reassure or upset? 【？】 Opinions vary. When people are listening to some concert 【concerts】or watching comedies【这个算艺术吗？】 to have themselves relaxed from work, there are also some songs disturbing us, such as the Gloomy Sunday【hoho我喜欢听】 which caused many sensitive people's death, and there are more and more Dracula movie 【吸血鬼电影？】which threaten us. 【这个算艺术吗？】 When we are feeling tranquil before the gorgeous paintings, we can also be astonished to see some DADA works and Surrealism art. 【这个还不错】Since the art is the expression of the internal world of artists' mind, it can both【去掉】 be optimistic to pleasing us and 【or】depressing to give us uncomfortable feelings. 【跟你过渡段的观点不太相符，你过渡段说的是向艺术寻求reassurance，但是这里是说好坏还不一定。】

In summery, 【summary，你都检查什么了，kick！】whether the science and art can not realize the function to upset or reassure. 【？】They develop in human history and serve as the adornments embedded in our life, 【科学艺术在你开头如此推崇，这里就变成小玩意儿了？？】 providing us with vivid feelings and authentic emotions, which constitute our whole life.

本来觉得45分钟只说了2/3的话 想改多点 鬼鬼建议不要那么多 我就只在原有基础修改了下语法和一些句子。砍吧 这个题无奈死了 要想说明白估计1000字都下不来 只能知道个表面
【挺散的，定义不用那出来一段，在开头定义就可以。那几个小段合并合并，归到主体的段落里面。艺术方面感觉论述的尤其不好。重新考虑一下。你说要写1000字是不是艺术和科学都想正反两方面写呢？举出适当的例子就可以了，干吗写那么多呢，又不是让你讲课，考试的时候你45分钟写个1000字我看看。记住，没用的话不写。那么你就能简练了。加油！】

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

小鬼鬼

Science is as venerable, intriguing and challenging as to take half of the stage of human civilization; while the other【要说another还差不多，难道历史上只有科学和艺术？】protagonist in the scene of human history is art, which exists as the representation of image, legend and creation. Recognizing both natures of science and art, 【这里同staralways同学的意见：the natures of science and art】 people would like to make some proposals of the functions of science and art. 【什么啊？你的观点呢？】

Before squarely 【？】agreeing with the assertion above or denying it, I would like first to make an insightfully analysis and comprehension of "reassure" and "upset." 【嗯，这个想法不错,不过为什么要把这个单做一段呢？】不知道啊，写的时候就成这样了，嘿嘿

To say that "the function of science is to reassure" can be understood as that when people are equipped with more knowledge of science, they are more likely to have the problems that twisted them solved, 【不通】 or they are more likely to live a comfortable and convenience life than before; 【怎么reassure了啊，交代了现象以后，给个结论好不？】嗯？这不算解释么？我就是说因为科学只知识多了，问题 被解决了，生活方便安逸了，我在自己定义reassure啊，没说明白：（while to say that "the purpose of art is to upset" can be understood as that since the art is as imaginary, fictional, fantastic and creative as is in human history and it sometimes does not to us appear as material values, people will not get factual comfort from these fictional stuffs. 【这个还差不多】

In fact, it is not true that the more science human master, the less troubles society may encounter. 【通过前面限定了一下范围，这里在范围内论述，论证上有长进】 Historically, people are always facing more and more tensions and anxieties coming along with the advancement of science. When Copernicus' theory that sun is the centre of the universe was protested, people who were used to live quietly【这个表达不好】 with the theory that the earth is the core of the universe, got into a huge skepticism and fear; 【这个是不对的，我还可以说正因为有了日心说，所以很多问题解决了呢！应该举例提出了日心说之后，又产生了新的问题需要解决，因而事情变得复杂。。。issue183？呵呵】我觉得我的重点在说upset，因为科学给社会带来的好处众所周知，所以没说，关键是没时间说，嘿嘿When Darwin' evolutionism appeared, people were shocked to discover the dependence of their souls - the God did not exist; When Stephen Hawking built a model of universe in a nutshell, some people feel anxious of the universe and were very afraid of the collapse of the universe; When Miller invented an effective insecticide called DDT, we were also losing our mind in solving the environmental pollution brought by it. 【行了，明白你的问题了，论点错了，按照你的例子们，你应该把论点改成科学越多，人们越upset，你论点的trouble太模糊了】sigh！不是怕upset太多了看起来不爽么，就随便找个词替换一下，还不对了。。。。诶From the perspective above, it clearly follows that science presents people endless mysteries and anxiety, making the world more and more complex and difficult for people to understand nature and enjoy a relax life. 【生活的问题你没说啊】上面说人们生活的好好的，恬静，快乐，但是忽然的新科学理论给他们带来了恐慌和震撼

Looking back on the history of science, it is true to say that science does really solved a lot of problems and give people some reassures such as curing some diseases, it is hardly true to say that its function is to reassure because it sometime upsets. 【这个做为你上段的论点不错】 Then some people would raise their eyes to the other dominant role- the art and claim that the art gives people reassures. 【reassurance，你不是说检查过了吗】
【我觉得不用特意写一段来过渡，这样有点散】所以说啊，不知道段落怎么就成这个乱糟糟的样子了

Can art reassure or upset? 【？】 Opinions vary. When people are listening to some concert 【concerts】or watching comedies【这个算艺术吗？】哼唧，为虾米不算？我说算就算 to have themselves relaxed from work, there are also some songs disturbing us, such as the Gloomy Sunday【hoho我喜欢听】竟然还活到现在！难得。不过那个歌曲确实很BT，旋律我也不喜欢 which caused many sensitive people's death, and there are more and more Dracula movie 【吸血鬼电影？】恐怖电影，不知道对不对which threaten us. 【这个算艺术吗？】 你又不让它算，，。。。When we are feeling tranquil before the gorgeous paintings, we can also be astonished to see some DADA works and Surrealism art. 【这个还不错】Since the art is the expression of the internal world of artists' mind, it can both【去掉】 be optimistic to pleasing us and 【or】depressing to give us uncomfortable feelings. 【跟你过渡段的观点不太相符，你过渡段说的是向艺术寻求reassurance，但是这里是说好坏还不一定。】我没说呀，我说某些人又把视线转到art上了，于是我问art能不能reassure呢？分析的结果是不一定。是不是不合适？

In summery, 【summary，你都检查什么了，kick！】ft,我不知道怎么就被word给换成这个了whether the science and art can not realize the function to upset or reassure. 【？】They develop in human history and serve as the adornments embedded in our life, 【科学艺术在你开头如此推崇，这里就变成小玩意儿了？？】是没想好用什么词，帮我想个 呗，小鬼鬼。。。。。 providing us with vivid feelings and authentic emotions, which constitute our whole life.

本来觉得45分钟只说了2/3的话 想改多点 鬼鬼建议不要那么多 我就只在原有基础修改了下语法和一些句子。砍吧 这个题无奈死了 要想说明白估计1000字都下不来 只能知道个表面
【挺散的，定义不用那出来一段，在开头定义就可以。那几个小段合并合并，归到主体的段落里面。艺术方面感觉论述的尤其不好。因为就剩下9分钟了，还要写结尾，然后修改的时候不会补了。。。重新考虑一下。你说要写1000字是不是艺术和科学都想正反两方面写呢？系地，嘿嘿。。。举出适当的例子就可以了，干吗写那么多呢，又不是让你讲课，考试的时候你45分钟写个1000字我看看。又说我！又说我！哼记住，没用的话不写。那么你就能简练了。加油！】

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

TO star

你表总夸俺了，其实有很多问题地
Science is as venerable, intriguing and challenging as to take half of the stage of human civilization; while the other protagonist in the scene of human history is art, which exists as the representation of image, legend and creation. Recognizing both natures of science and art[the nature of both science and art，感觉这样舒服点吧], 333，记下了嘿嘿people would like to make some proposals of the functions of science and art. [感觉zhizhi开头的展开都很好]

Before squarely agreeing with the assertion above or denying it, I would like first to make an insightfully analysis and comprehension of "reassure" and "upset."[觉得这段，或者说独立成为一段不是特别妥当，和下面这段合在一起就可以了。不然感觉这篇文章是要铺得很大，很容易造成虎头蛇尾的感觉。]嗯啊，写的时候没注意
To say that "the function of science is to reassure" can be understood as that when people are equipped with more knowledge of science, they are more likely to have the problems that twisted them solved, or they are more likely to live a comfortable and convenience life than before; while to say that "the purpose of art is to upset" can be understood as that since the art is as imaginary, fictional, fantastic and creative as is in human history and it sometimes does not to us appear as material values, people will not get factual comfort from these fictional stuffs. [这段的分析倒真是insightful！不错！]

[这里感觉和上面那段过渡不是特别自然。我感觉如果直接从这段开始读的话，有可能感到前面有一段关于Science的让步，但是你前面的是关于Science reassures和art upsets的综述。感觉加点东西上去好。]噢，是的，有些这样的感觉，我再想想In fact, it is not true that the more science human master, the less troubles society may encounter. Historically, people are always facing more and more tensions and anxieties coming along with the advancement of science. When Copernicus' theory that sun is the centre of the universe was protested, people who were used to live quietly with the theory that the earth is the core of the universe, got into a huge skepticism and fear; When Darwin' evolutionism appeared, people were shocked to discover the dependence of their souls - the God did not exist; When Stephen Hawking built a model of universe in a nutshell, some people feel anxious of the universe and were very afraid of the collapse of the universe; When Miller invented an effective insecticide called DDT, we were also losing our mind in solving the environmental pollution brought by it. From the perspective above, it clearly follows that science presents people endless mysteries and anxiety, making the world more and more complex and difficult for people to understand nature and enjoy a relax life.[论证部分当然很好，而且例子很多很充分。想补充一点的是要不要考虑下这种upset的作用是否是暂时的？（可能很不好说也没有例子支持，仅仅是临时想到的）]我没想过这个问题，管它upset是长久的还是暂时的，总之让人upset了，如果再分时间属性，那更复杂了

Looking back on the history of science, it is true to say that science does really solved a lot of problems and give people some reassures such as curing some diseases, it is hardly true to say that its function is to reassure because it sometime upsets. [感觉这句到是可以放到前面那段开头的部分去呢。就是我说的过渡不自然的地方。]Then some people would raise their eyes to the other dominant role- the art and claim that the art gives people reassures.[后半句或许可以并到下面去。前面可以加点“既然科学……，那么人们把目光转向了另一半：艺术。”]这两次过渡段都很失败的说

Can art reassure or upset? Opinions vary. When people are listening to some concert or watching comedies to have themselves relaxed from work, there are also some songs disturbing us, such as the Gloomy Sunday, which caused many sensitive people's death, and there are more and more[感觉这里不要用more之类的比较级之类的好，不然就感到要偏向与upsets去了，而你这里想说的是中立的。（不知道对不对啊）] dracula movie which threaten us. When we are feeling tranquil before the gorgeous paintings, we can also be astonished to see some DADA works and Surrealism art[超现实主义的的确比较夸张，尤其是表现战争和贫穷的。]. Since the art is the expression of the internal world of artists' mind, it can both be optimistic to pleasing us and depressing to give us uncomfortable feelings.这段我觉得例子太少，也没分析，关键是一看时间要过去了，就赶紧把结尾先写了，然后回来继续造这段，到结束也就写出来这么多

In summery, whether the science and art can not realize the function to upset or reassure.[好象不通顺] They develop in human history and serve as the adornments embedded in our life, providing us with vivid feelings and authentic emotions, which constitute our whole life.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

啥也不说了，那个argu呢，懒

而且，思维跳跃的问题又出现了，好多地方你自己看看，你说的关系是你写出来的吗？还是让人猜出来的？正经问题没搞定呢就学人家散。

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

晕，时间有限问题多，不跳一点不行呀，关键是我自己没觉得我在跳呀
上次一点不跳你又说儿童化 无奈死了
这个度怎么把握？强烈要求赐教！！！！！！！！！！！
阿狗交不上了，今天补上
又骂我 又骂我

鬼谷子UID: 159645

论证的问题我会专门写的，你等着吧

staralwaysUID: 193479

最初由 victoriazhizhi 发布
[B]我没想过这个问题，管它upset是长久的还是暂时的，总之让人upset了，如果再分时间属性，那更复杂了[/B]

因为我当时这样想：如果只是暂时的upset，而最终是reassure了，那么它的作用还是应该是reassure。比方说你举的日心说，刚出来是确实使那些教会“阵痛”了，对于一些比较传统保守的人来说也会有很难接受的一段过程，但是最终我们看到是它作为推进人类对宇宙认识的重要一步。这种问题估计是要辨证起来是很麻烦，考试时也没这么多时间仔细想，而且这一道题就要写科学和艺术这两大方面。

最初由 鬼谷子 发布
[B]论证的问题我会专门写的，你等着吧[/B]

我也一起等，嘿嘿。

龙非UID: 193190

已经有很多意见了，我就不掺和了，等着打你的狗。。。
总的看来，还是大局观不够，写了后面忘了前面，建议先列中文提纲，时候提醒自己每段都绕着提纲写。。。
此外，对于concert和movie，个人觉得其实是电影。。。