issue10 连想带写45分钟 没时间修改了~

so猫UID: 148633

Issue10  
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分23秒     646 words
从2005年2月15日9时47分到2005年2月15日10时44分
------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
Should cities, which often serve as the center of national economics and cultures, be prior to receive financial support from government? The answer should be yes, as far as I am concerned; nevertheless, it doesn't mean that governments should sacrifice the investment to the country sides and suburban areas to ensure the development of cities to excessive extent.

Obviously, the cities of a country are the spirit of a nation that its development to great extent determines the prosperity of a nation, both in economics and cultures; thus it should be taken into prior status to obtain the financial support in order to thrive. Cities are the born-place of many traditional cultures since they gather so many people, who are the inventers of such cultural activities. One needs to look no further than to history books to seek the origination of "Thanksgiving Day" for supporting examples. Although the born place of this festival and the activities to eating turkey nowadays could be regarded as a peaceful town with a thousand-population, the towns contemporarily could be classified into the "cities". Moreover, it is in cities rather than countryside that every year march and ceremonies are held. On the Christmas Eve, the "big apple" in Time Square, the "samba carnival" in Brasilia, also the traditional "Beer Festival" in Berlin, are signs that cities contribute much in preserve of traditional cultures. These activities all need more money to survive and thrive due to their cost on preparation and operation. Thus from this point of view, cities should receive the financial support they need in order to preserve the cultural traditions and pass them down to generations.

Moreover, many other projects in cities, seemingly unrelated to the cultural traditions should receive the governmental support. The libraries and museums, for instance, often contribute much in preserve of the cultural traditions. Some cultural traditions, which are rarely seen in our daily life, may find their place in these places, so that we and our descendants has the opportunity to get acquaintance to this cherishable resources.  Almost in every big cities in the world, there are at least one libraries or museums concerning the history of a nation's culture and traditions. These establishments are so costful and nonprofit that single individual rarely have the capability to accomplish them; thus the assistance from government is in urgent need, which may determine the destiny of these facilities. Thus government has to ensure that the cities are equipped with abundant money for specific agencies to build these facilities to preserve the cultural traditions effectively.

However, it cannot be implied from the above analysis that insurance of money upon major cities means the omission of the development of little ones and countryside areas. The excessive investment upon major cities usually causes the disturbance of the economical balance among different areas. Thus the mess will be caused since the major cities may prosper as the blossoming flower in May while the development of little cities and suburban areas is like the falling leaves without life. The complaint may cause then, even the revolutions may arise. Consider the measurement taken by the Soviet Union government spending all money on the rebuilt of the major cities and the re-establishment of the cultural traditions while overlooking the needs of the countryside and small cities. The result was the intense complaint and later revolution to vacillate the government. In the word, the needs of countryside and small cities should not be omitted.

To sum up, the government should place emphasis upon the major cities because of the important status on generation and preserve of cultural traditions. Meanwhile the needs of suburban areas should not be overlooked and sacrificed. The government should, at the precise of the balance of whole economical environments, be prior to consider the development of the major cities in order to make the cultural traditions to survive and thrive.

写完以后放到word里改的时候发现一堆红红绿绿
觉得后面的比前面地写得好
不过时间不够用 没5分钟出来检查~~
郁闷了~~~~~

大家拍啊 拍完了等我考完了回来拍大家~~~~

都来抱抱

我写blog去了 等下再写个狗~

boyjimUID: 125249

每次读so猫都有一种overwhelming 的感觉~但仍然自谦过渡~

so猫UID: 148633

楼上的 给点建设性的意见才乖哦~~~
overwhelming个啥啊~~~
不过还是谢谢鼓励 我会继续加油的说!

flyingwindUID: 189320

写的真不错!
我要是考官给你5分!@

boyjimUID: 125249

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
Should cities, which often serve as the center of national economics and cultures, be prior to receive financial support from government? [猫式开头^_^] The answer should be yes [positive] , as far as I am concerned; nevertheless, it doesn't mean that governments should sacrifice the investment to the country sides and suburban areas to ensure the development of cities to excessive extent.

Obviously, the cities of a country are the spirit of a nation that its development to great extent determines the prosperity of a nation, both in economics and cultures; thus it should be taken into prior status to obtain the financial support in order to thrive. Cities are the born-place of many traditional cultures since they gather so many people, who are the inventers of such cultural activities. One needs to look no further than to history books to seek the origination of "Thanksgiving Day" for supporting examples. Although the born place of this festival and the activities to eating turkey nowadays could be regarded as a peaceful town with a thousand-population, the towns contemporarily could be classified into the "cities". Moreover, it is in cities rather than countryside that every year march and ceremonies are held. On the Christmas Eve, the "big apple" in Time Square, the "samba carnival" in Brasilia, also the traditional "Beer Festival" in Berlin, are signs that cities contribute much in preserve of traditional cultures. [各种各样的传统节日能不能完全的代表文化呢？例子应该再丰富点，例如戏剧什么之类的~] These activities all need more money to survive and thrive due to their cost on preparation and operation. [哇靠两个尾韵！] Thus from this point of view, cities should receive the financial support they need in order to preserve the cultural traditions and pass them down to generations.

Moreover, many other projects in cities, seemingly unrelated to the cultural traditions should receive the governmental support. The libraries and museums, for instance, often contribute much in preserve [preserve名词还是动词这里？] of the cultural traditions. Some cultural traditions [of them就好了，两个cultural traditions连着不好] , which are rarely seen in our daily life, may find their place in these places [两个place重叠也不好了] , so that we and our descendants has [have] the opportunity to get acquaintance to this cherishable resources. Almost in every big cities in the world, there are at least one [去掉] libraries or museums concerning the history of a nation's culture and traditions. These establishments are so costful and nonprofit that single individual rarely have the capability to accomplish them; thus the assistance from government is in urgent need, which may determine the destiny of these facilities. Thus government has to ensure that the cities are equipped with abundant money for specific agencies to build these facilities to preserve the cultural traditions effectively.

However, it cannot be implied from the above analysis that insurance of money upon major cities means the omission of the development of little ones and countryside areas. The excessive investment upon major cities usually causes the disturbance of the economical balance among different areas. Thus the mess will be caused since the major cities may prosper as the blossoming flower in May while the development of little cities and suburban areas is like the falling leaves without life. The complaint may cause [arouse吧~] then, even the revolutions may arise. Consider the measurement taken by the Soviet Union government spending all money on the rebuilt of the major cities and the re-establishment of the cultural traditions while overlooking the needs of the countryside and small cities. The result was the intense complaint and later revolution to vacillate the government. In the word, the needs of countryside and small cities should not be omitted. [强调的应该是一种harmony or 一定程度balance，不omit不代表好]

To sum up, the government should place emphasis upon the major cities because of the important status on generation and preserve [preservation] of cultural traditions. Meanwhile the needs of suburban areas should not be overlooked and sacrificed. The government should, at the precise of the balance of whole economical environments, be prior to consider the development of the major cities in order to make the cultural traditions to survive and thrive.

[主题扣得比较紧~思维上的问题我自己也很混乱~等着鬼哥哥乱抢扫射吧~哈哈]

鬼谷子UID: 159645

看看

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue10
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：44分23秒 646 words
从2005年2月15日9时47分到2005年2月15日10时44分
------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
Should cities, which often serve as the center of national economics and cultures, be prior to receive financial support from government? The answer should be yes, as far as I am concerned; nevertheless, it doesn't mean that governments should sacrifice the investment to the country sides and suburban areas to ensure the development of cities to excessive extent. 【开头还不错】

Obviously, the cities of a country are the spirit of a nation that its development to great extent determines the prosperity of a nation, both in economics and cultures; thus it should be taken into prior status to obtain the financial support in order to thrive. Cities are the born-place of many traditional cultures since they gather so many people, who are the inventers of such cultural activities. One needs to look no further than to history books to seek the origination of "Thanksgiving Day" for supporting examples. Although the born place of this festival and the activities to eating turkey nowadays could be regarded as a peaceful town with a thousand-population, the towns contemporarily could be classified into the "cities". 【为什么呢，现在人口增多了吗？这里交代的模糊】Moreover, it is in cities rather than countryside that every year march and ceremonies are held. On the Christmas Eve, the "big apple" in Time Square, the "samba carnival" in Brasilia, also the traditional "Beer Festival" in Berlin, are signs that cities contribute much in preserve of traditional cultures. These activities all need more money to survive and thrive due to their cost on preparation and operation. Thus from this point of view, cities should receive the financial support they need in order to preserve the cultural traditions and pass them down to generations. 【文化产生的部分论述的还可以，不过，按照你的论点，是不是还应该论述经济呢？】

Moreover, many other projects in cities, seemingly unrelated to the cultural traditions should receive the governmental support. The libraries and museums, for instance, often contribute much in preserve of the cultural traditions. Some cultural traditions, which are rarely seen in our daily life, may find their place in these places, so that we and our descendants has 【have】the opportunity to get acquaintance to this cherishable resources. Almost in every big cities【city检查！】 in the world, there are at least one libraries or museums concerning the history of a nation's culture and traditions. These establishments are so costful and nonprofit that single individual rarely have the capability to accomplish them; thus the assistance from government is in urgent need, which may determine the destiny of these facilities. Thus government has to ensure that the cities are equipped with abundant money for specific agencies to build these facilities to preserve the cultural traditions effectively. 【文化的保存。不过我觉得有一个问题，按照题目所说，政府的support是为了大城市thrive，你是否只是从文化入手而忽略了这一点呢】

However, it cannot be implied from the above analysis that insurance【保险？？】 of money upon major cities means the omission of the development of little ones and countryside areas. The excessive investment upon major cities usually causes the disturbance of the economical balance among different areas. Thus the mess will be caused 【caused？？】since the major cities may prosper as the blossoming flower in May while the development of little cities and suburban areas is like the falling leaves without life. 【比喻很好】The complaint may cause【？】 then, even the revolutions may arise. Consider the measurement taken by the Soviet Union government spending all money on the rebuilt of the major cities and the re-establishment of the cultural traditions while overlooking the needs of the countryside and small cities. The result was the intense complaint and later revolution to vacillate【？】 the government. In the word, the needs of countryside and small cities should not be omitted.

To sum up, the government should place emphasis upon the major cities because of the important status on generation and preserve of cultural traditions. Meanwhile the needs of suburban areas should not be overlooked and sacrificed. The government should, at the precise of the balance of whole economical environments, be prior to consider the development of the major cities in order to make the cultural traditions to survive and thrive.

【总体上感觉问题不大，强调一下大城市的thrive就更好了。加油吧猫猫，你能行的！】