issue 10 还有一周就要考了,请大家多多指教!

cathy_liaoUID: 197996

------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the

financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is

primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are

preserved and generated.


I agree with the statement that it is primarily in cities that a

nation's cultural traditions are generated. However, whether a

nation's cultural traditions are mainly preserved in cities should

be considered on a case-to-case basis. And there are many other

factors that should be taken into account when the governments are

making decisions about the dissemination of the financial funds.

It has to be admitted that a nation's cultural traditions are

chiefly generated in cities, especially in those major cities for the

following reasons. First, these cities are often the cultural,

economical, political or educational centers of the nation. And

they may have more opportunities to contact with the cultures of

different nations. Consequently, the frequent interaction with

other cultures may prompt gradual changes in their own cultures.

Secondly, according to the rule that the economical base

determines the superstructure and the development in the

production is more likely to be initiated in the cities,

the public has to regulate thier own habits and values to

accommodate with the advancement in production. To

support it, we need look no further than the industry revolution.

Since that time, people in the cities have gradually accept the

perspective that women can also hold thier positions in the job

market and the society has been more and more tolerant with women

who get rid of the restraint of thier traditional family roles.

However, in the rural areas. people are still deeply engrained by

the traditional perspective that women should stay at home to

undertake the housework.

However, when it comes to the preservation of cultural traditions,

the assertion of the speaker may be one-sided. Take China as an

example, where most of its cultural traditions are preserved in

the rural areas. For instance, during the traditional spring

festival, which may be the most important festival in China, there

exists custom that people will play firecracks in the midnight

near their houses. In the countryside, this tradition is

still sticked to, while in cities, especially in large cities, on

the consideration of safety and the possible pollution, the

government may ban on the firecracks or just permit people to play

in certain fixed areas. As a matter of fact, more nad more people

in the large cities have already given up the traditional way to

celebrate the festival. They may prefer traveling or having party

with a lot of people including their family as the celebration to

spending the whole day preparing for the dinner and playing

firecracks as the traditional way. However, in other countries,

such as the ones in Europe, their major cities also preserve their

cultural tradition, like Paris, which has always kept its

romanticism and spirits of freedom. On the whole, there is no

fixed rule as to where can better preserve the nation's cultural

tradition.

Another problem with the statement is that the consideration about

the financial support of the government should involve more

factors than the preservation of cultural traditions. Admittedly,

in many cases government has to ensure the development of the

major cities through financial support, since these citoes may be playing

a crucial role in the economy of the whole nation. If their

production falls into depression, the development of the whole

nation may be counteracted. What is more, the government also

expects to rely on the development of the major cities to bring

prosperity to the remoted and less developed districts. For

example, the boom in Chicago has greatly prompt the prospeity in

its surrounding areas. Besides, considering the rapid profit

brought by the investment on the construction in large cities, the

increased profit can be applied to help the development of

the unenlightened areas. However, exceeding support for the major

cities may also contribute to some serious social problems, such

as the overfull population in the large cities, the disparity between places

and the following discontent of the people in the depressed areas, which

may provide disservice to the stability of the whole nation. Such

development is also dangerous. Take Brazil as an example. Most of

its population lives in its two largest cities, Rio de Janeiro and Brasilia,

and the large population incur many social and economical problems, such as

the high rate in crimes and the serious pollution, unemployment, the

increasing disparity between the rich and the poor.


To sum up, both the cities and the countrysides have made their

contribution to the generation and preservation of the cultural

traditions of the nation. And the governement should make efforts

to keep balance between the development of the major cities and

the other districts to realize healthy prosperity.

阿司匹林UID: 182577

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the

financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is

primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are

preserved and generated.


I agree with the statement that it is primarily in cities that a

nation's cultural traditions are generated. However, whether a

nation's cultural traditions are mainly preserved in cities should

be considered on a case-to-case basis. And there are many other

factors that should be taken into account when the governments are

making decisions about the dissemination of the financial funds.

It has to be admitted that a nation's cultural traditions are

chiefly generated in cities, especially in those major cities for the

following reasons. First, these cities are often the cultural,

economical, political or educational centers of the nation.(the centres of ……) And

they may have more opportunities to contact with the cultures of

different nations. Consequently, the frequent interaction with

other cultures may prompt gradual changes in their own cultures.

Secondly, according to the rule that the economical base

determines the superstructure and the development in the

production is more likely to be initiated in the cities,

the public has to regulate thier own habits and values to

accommodate with the advancement in production.(这分论点与财政拨款无关吧，是想说明城市在经济的支持会有更好的文化吧)

To support it, we need look no further than the industry revolution.

Since that time, people in the cities have gradually accept the

perspective that women can also hold thier positions in the job

market and the society has been more and more tolerant with women

who get rid of the restraint of thier traditional family roles.

However, in the rural areas. people are still deeply engrained（不知道是不是可以这么用哦，好象是形容词吧） by

the traditional perspective that women should stay at home to

undertake the housework.

However, when it comes to the preservation of cultural traditions,

the assertion of the speaker may be one-sided. Take China as an

example, where most of its cultural traditions are preserved in

the rural areas. For instance, during the traditional spring

festival, which may be the most important festival in China, there

exists custom that people will play firecracks in the midnight

near their houses. In the countryside, this tradition is

still sticked to, while in cities, especially in large cities, on

the consideration of safety and the possible pollution, the

government may ban on the firecracks or just permit people to play

in certain fixed areas. As a matter of fact, more nad more people

in the large cities have already given up the traditional way to

celebrate the festival. They may prefer traveling or having party

with a lot of people including their family as the celebration to

spending the whole day preparing for the dinner and playing

firecracks as the traditional way. （这句在这里没多大用）However, in other countries,

such as the ones in Europe, their major cities also preserve their

cultural tradition, like Paris, which has always kept its

romanticism and spirits of freedom.（没有围绕分论点哦） On the whole, there is no

fixed rule as to where can better preserve the nation's cultural

tradition.

Another problem with the statement is that the consideration about

the financial support of the government should involve more

factors than the preservation of cultural traditions. Admittedly,

in many cases government has to ensure the development of the

major cities through financial support, since these citoes may be playing

a crucial role in the economy of the whole nation. If their

production falls into depression, the development of the whole

nation may be counteracted. What is more, the government also

expects to rely on the development of the major cities to bring

prosperity to the remoted and less developed districts. For

example, the boom in Chicago has greatly prompt the prospeity in

its surrounding areas. Besides, considering the rapid profit

brought by the investment on the construction in large cities, the

increased profit can be applied to help the development of

the unenlightened areas. However, exceeding support for the major

cities may also contribute to some serious social problems, such

as the overfull population in the large cities, the disparity between places

and the following discontent of the people in the depressed areas, which

may provide disservice to the stability of the whole nation. Such

development is also dangerous. Take Brazil as an example. Most of

its population lives in its two largest cities, Rio de Janeiro and Brasilia,

and the large population incur many social and economical problems, such as

the high rate in crimes and the serious pollution, unemployment, the

increasing disparity between the rich and the poor.（这一段提了很多，却都没做更进一不的阐释，显得很杂，
而且与总论点总有点远了，在凑字吧，呵呵）


To sum up, both the cities and the countrysides have made their

contribution to the generation and preservation of the cultural

traditions of the nation. And the governement should make efforts

to keep balance between the development of the major cities and

the other districts to realize healthy prosperity.（与开头的一边倒不同了）

提了几个逻辑上不习惯的地方，可能偶比较保守，常怕跑题吧
文字上偶比你逊色的多，给不了建议了

cathy_liaoUID: 197996

我也觉的写的有些杂.
不过我关于这个话题的理解可能和你的有些不同,荷呵.
我理解的是, 一国的文化多起源于城市,因为它们与外界交流多,且生产方式的变革多先出现于城市,因而会引起相应文化观念上的变花.
另外,政府决定给予何地以经济支持不应仅从文化上考虑,,对大城市的支持更多的是从经济上考虑(这段是写多了),而且要考虑由此可能带来的地区发展不平衡.
这样想是不是偏了啊?

anfernee-kkUID: 194668

不好意思，我不大会改文章，就只提点看法吧
我觉得语句用得很不错，向你学习中。
但如果再加一点强调句或倒装句会显得有特色一点
还有就是文化发源未必在主要城市那段，例子好像太长了，重点突出不够