issue36 同主题，来得晚了些

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

Issue36  第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户          452 words

------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
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    Can only those who live after them instead by their contemporaries decide the greatness of individuals? The speaker oversimplified the issue. In my point of view, under different circumstances, the situation varies from case to case.
   
    On the one hand, the great achievements of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries to the extant that the greatness is easily perceived. Consider, for instance, one saved hundreds of Jewish in the World War II from the persecution by Nazi. The greatness of his or her deeds can be recognized by anyone at that time who knew this fact, since the achievement is so dominant. Saving lives of innocent people is always a great achievement under human moral standard. Lending more credence to this statement is the example of Bill Gates. Windows and DOS, the products from the company of Microsoft, which Bill Gates built up, make the usage of computer simpler than before, and save people who use them much time. People recognized this is a great progress and most people with a computer bought Bill Gates's software, which makes him a billionaire. From the two examples above, we can draw the conclusion that their contemporaries can confirm the greatness of individuals that can be seen easily by them.

    On the other hand, the greatness of individuals, especially in the field of science, that need to be tested by historical perspectives, can mainly be decided by those who live after them. The knowledge and horizon of human beings in ancient times are different from that of the people of the present days. And sometimes, ancient people just can not accept the great ideas, since great achievements mostly go ahead of times. Take Copernicus for example, his theory that the Sun instead of The Earth is the center of the cosmos can not be accepted by his contemporaries, since people at that time held strong belief to Aristotle's theory that The Earth is the very center of the Universe. People nowadays know that Copernicus theory is a great achievement at his age, although it is not true. While, for the limitation of knowledge, people can not recognize Copernicus's greatness at that time. So, the ken of people has decided whether they can confirm the greatness.

    To sum up, whether the greatness of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries or by their posteriors, depends on the nature of the greatness and the horizon of the contemporaries. The achievement, that can be easily perceived and judged by the face value, can be confirmed by the contemporaries. Nevertheless, to the extent that the limition of knowledge impedes the process of decision whether individuals are great, only people who live in the posterior times can decide it.



因为总觉得字数不够，就改了好几次，但结果还是不理想，还可以从哪个角度增加一些论述呢？

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

提纲
观点：容易被察觉或者接受的伟大更容易被同时代的人认可，需要历史及时间检验的伟大需要后人的认同。
B1 同时代的人更容易接受那些显眼的伟大。例子，BILL GATES
B2 需要时间检验或不容易被接受的伟大，需要后人的认同，例子，COPERNICUS
B3 伟大能否得到认同，无论是被当代人还是后人，还受到人们主观的影响。

   Can only those who live after them instead by their contemporaries decide the greatness of individuals? The speaker oversimplified the issue. In my point of view, under different circumstances, the situation varies from case to case.

    On the one hand, the great achievements of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries to the extant that the greatness is easily perceived. Consider, for instance, one saved hundreds of Jewish in the World War II from the persecution by Nazi. The greatness of his or her deeds can be recognized by anyone at that time who knew this fact, since the achievement is so dominant. Saving lives of innocent people is always a great achievement under human moral standard. Lending more credence to this statement is the example of Bill Gates. Windows and DOS, the products from the company of Microsoft, which Bill Gates built up, make the usage of computer simpler than before, and save people who use them much time. People recognized this is a great progress and most people with a computer bought Bill Gates's software, which makes him a billionaire. From the two examples above, we can draw the conclusion that their contemporaries can confirm the greatness of individuals that can be seen easily by them.

On the other hand, the greatness of individuals, especially in the field of science, that need to be tested by historical perspectives, can mainly be decided by those who live after them. The knowledge and horizon of human beings in ancient times are different from that of the people of the present days. And sometimes, ancient people just can not accept the great ideas, since great achievements mostly go ahead of times. Take Copernicus for example, his theory that the Sun instead of The Earth is the center of the cosmos can not be accepted by his contemporaries, since people at that time held strong belief to Aristotle's theory that The Earth is the very center of the Universe. People nowadays know that Copernicus theory is a great achievement at his age, although it is not true. While, for the limitation of knowledge, people can not recognize Copernicus's greatness at that time. So, the ken of people has decided whether they can confirm the greatness.

Last but not least, prejudices always influence peoples’ judgment on the greatness of individuals. Take racial discrimination for example, blacks with great feats would not be accepted as easily as whites, no matter by their contemporaries or posteriors. It is true that the world has become more and more egalitarian, but racial discrimination still exists and such prejudices still affect human beings’ judgment.

To sum up, whether the greatness of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries or by their posteriors, depends on the nature of the greatness and the horizon of the contemporaries. The achievement, that can be easily perceived and judged by the face value, can be confirmed by the contemporaries. Nevertheless, to the extent that the limition of knowledge impedes the process of decision whether individuals are great, only people who live in the posterior times can decide it.


想了两天后的修改稿

runnerioUID: 152251

------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
提纲
观点：容易被察觉或者接受的伟大更容易被同时代的人认可，需要历史及时间检验的伟大需要后人的认同。
B1 同时代的人更容易接受那些显眼的伟大。例子，BILL GATES
B2 需要时间检验或不容易被接受的伟大，需要后人的认同，例子，COPERNICUS
B3 伟大能否得到认同，无论是被当代人还是后人，还受到人们主观的影响。

这个提纲很不错,WONDERFUL!!

Can only those who live after them instead by (of) their contemporaries decide the greatness of individuals? The speaker oversimplified the issue. In my point of view, under different circumstances, the situation varies from case to case.(这句话就是 cliché了,就是把分论点复述一下都比来这样一句话好)

On the one hand, the great achievements of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries to the extant(extent) that the greatness is easily perceived.(这句话你的意思我明白,但是老美估计不明白,这样表达有根本性错误,你看可以改成这样the great achievements of individuals, pellucid and popular to people at the same time, can be decided by their contemporaries)  Consider, for instance, one saved hundreds of Jewish in the World War II from the persecution by Nazi. The greatness of his or her deeds can be recognized by anyone at that time who knew this fact, since the achievement is so dominant. Saving lives of innocent people is always a great achievement under human moral standard. Lending more credence to this statement is the example of Bill Gates. Windows and DOS, the products from the company of Microsoft, which Bill Gates built up, make the usage of computer simpler than before, and save people who use them much time. People recognized this is a great progress and most people with a computer bought Bill Gates's software, which makes him a billionaire. From the two examples above, we can draw the conclusion that their contemporaries can confirm the greatness of individuals that can be seen easily by them.

你的论证很好,很细致,例子也很好.但是你的语言有很严重的问题,我没有仔细改,因为我粗看了一下, 你的大部分句子都需要调整,我建议你看一些句法方面的书,推荐一下谷约的<妙手著文章>.
On the other hand, the greatness of individuals, especially in the field of science, that need to be tested by historical perspectives, can mainly be decided by those who live after them. The knowledge and horizon of human beings in ancient times are different from that of the people of the present days. And sometimes, ancient people just can not accept the great ideas, since great achievements mostly go ahead of times. Take Copernicus for example, his theory that the Sun instead of The Earth is the center of the cosmos can not be accepted by his contemporaries, since people at that time held strong belief to Aristotle's theory that The Earth is the very center of the Universe. People nowadays know that Copernicus theory is a great achievement at his age, although it is not true. While, for the limitation of knowledge, people can not recognize Copernicus's greatness at that time. So, the ken of people has decided whether they can confirm the greatness
.
论证非常好!!语言仍显生疏.

Last but not least,(cliché) prejudices always influence peoples’ judgment on the greatness of individuals. Take racial discrimination for example, blacks with great feats would not be accepted as easily as whites, no matter by their contemporaries or posteriors. It is true that the world has become more and more egalitarian, but racial discrimination still exists and such prejudices still affect human beings’ judgment.

该段没有很好的展开,是不是没有时间了,??

To sum up, whether the greatness of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries or by their posteriors, (删,)depends on the nature of the greatness and the horizon of the contemporaries. The achievement, that can be easily perceived and judged by the face value, can be confirmed by the contemporaries. Nevertheless, to the extent that the limition of knowledge impedes the process of decision whether individuals are great, only people who live in the posterior times can decide it.
结尾也不错,照应了整篇文章.
总的看来,你有很强的逻辑思辩能力,但很可惜的是,你的语言并不能很好的展现出你卓越的思想.句式及用词最好都经过一些训练,如果语言上去的话,你的文章肯定能的很高的分数.
加油.!!!