issue130 修改后 不怕砸又发！

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

Issue130  第1篇 吧啦吧啦吧啦拍！
------摘要------
作者：victoriazhizhi     共用时间：43分7秒     594 words/ 701 words after revised
从2005年3月15日22时0分到2005年2月15日22时43分
------题目------
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
------正文------
Children, who are always considered as the sun of a society and the flower of a country, are as crucial as to determine the destiny society. In an effort to build our society a better place for human beings, we are trying our best and are almost on the right way in raising children so that we can effectively help them to bring about a better society.

Undoubtedly, children, full of innovative and creative aptitude, are the hope and future of a society. In modern world with the fabulous rapid change, only the infusion of the young power can the society be imbued with passion and vitality and keep prosperous. Hence, in the course of socialization of children, meaning that during this process children have their behaviors calibrated, their personalities cultivated, and their ability of adapting the environment and interacting with others developed so that they can perform so independently and confidently as to become the master of a society, we never fail to find a correct way to raise children and have made a myriad of achievement on training children so that they could accomplish their socialization and lift up the future of a society.

In the course of cultivate the professional capability of children to construct the society, perhaps nothing plays a more vital role to cultivate children's abilities in modern society than does education, by which children become able to soar their wings of aspiration of knowledge and skills. What delights us is that in modern society, formal education is endowed with a new mission, that is, to teach them new information and advanced technology so that they could swiftly adapt the rapid development of science and technology. For instance, Children in today' society have more opportunities to gain knowledge of advanced instruments, such as computers, internet, microscopes and so on, which vastly enhance their sensitivity in accepting new technology and managing modern instruments. Children under such education will likely be filled of awareness of the demand to develop modern technology in society and be skilled to manage significant projects of science researches, which will enhance the industry and economy development of a society.

When children acquire much knowledge in formal education, parents and community also play intellective role in helping children to grow up to a real person who are capable to bring about a better society. To be at advantage and of capability to build up the society, children need much more comprehensive qualities from other group such as families and communities. Parents nowadays are focusing more concentration on the establishment of children’s self-confidence, positive attitude toward life, correct standard of value and participation of social activities; while the community makes much contribution to organize meaningful activities to enable children’s awareness of competition and cooperation. For example, in Japan, there are survival trainings on filed every year, and many children participate in this competition. What they learn is not only skills and knowledge, but also the talent to solve problem independently, the sprit of persistence, consciousness of cooperation when meeting difficulties and the awareness to win. Children who receive these trainings will be strong, brave and insistent as to promote the whole ethos of a nation when they grow up.

Admittedly, when guiding children to socialize, it is inevitable to have some drawbacks. In western world, since children are always growing up in a family where the environment is too relaxed for them, they, lacking of control, may be fractious; while in some eastern countries, since schools are always so strict with children’s grade and homework, children are sometimes cowardly and immature to show their potentials. Both the two kinds are the extremity in the course of socialization of children. However, nothing in the world is absolutely wonderful. What we should do is trying our best to correct our drawbacks momentarily make the ways of raising children toward a balance and proper way.

In conclusion, smart as human beings, we are learning how to raise children and making them independent, confidence and competent enough, so that they are of capability to build up a new world in the future. Flaws there may be, we are toward the right track to educate children and making progress everyday.


加入了对socialization的理解，和对懂得教育孩子的表现，以及这些孩子怎么能够建设社会进行了修改。
自己觉得还有很多毛病，但是说不好是什么感觉，这是我写完了也没主意的一篇。等待大家砍！

鬼谷子UID: 159645

看看你改的怎么样

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue130 第1篇 吧啦吧啦吧啦拍！
------摘要------
作者：victoriazhizhi 共用时间：43分7秒 594 words/ 701 words after revised
从2005年3月15日22时0分到2005年2月15日22时43分
------题目------
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
------正文------
Children, who are always considered as the sun of a society and the flower of a country, 【祖国的花朵，太阳？外国人能懂不？怀疑】 are as crucial as to determine the destiny 【of检查！】society. In an effort to build our society a better place for human beings, we are trying our best and are almost on the right way in raising children so that we can effectively help them to bring about a better society. 【两个问题：一，almost是什么意思呢？部分同意？二，题目的help是指儿童，你这里指的是we】

Undoubtedly, children, full of innovative and creative aptitude, are the hope and future of a society. In modern world with the fabulous 【fabulously检查】rapid change, only 【by/through检查！】the infusion of the young power can the society be imbued with passion and vitality and keep prosperous. 【这两句不在重点上面，不是说儿童对于社会如何，是要说儿童的社会化对于社会如何】Hence, in the course of socialization of children, meaning that during this process children have their behaviors calibrated, their personalities cultivated, and their ability of adapting the environment and interacting with others developed so that they can perform so independently and confidently as to become the master of a society, we never fail to find a correct way to raise children and have made a myriad of achievement on training children so that they could accomplish their socialization and lift up the future of a society. 【这段似乎是个总领段。论述儿童和论述儿童社会化的内容有点脱节】

In the course of cultivate【cultivating检查检查！】 the professional capability of children to construct the society, perhaps nothing plays a more vital role to cultivate children's abilities in modern society than does education, by which children become able to soar their wings of aspiration of knowledge and skills. 【socialization呢？属于education的一方面？你要说不只是socialization吗？】 What delights us is that in modern society, formal education is endowed with a new mission, that is, to teach them new information and advanced technology so that they could swiftly adapt the rapid development of science and technology. For instance, Children in today' society have more opportunities to gain knowledge of advanced instruments, such as computers, internet, microscopes and so on, which vastly enhance their sensitivity in accepting new technology and managing modern instruments. Children under such education will likely be filled of awareness of the demand to develop modern technology in society and be skilled to manage significant projects of science researches, which will enhance the industry and economy development of a society. 【证明了教育对于儿童和社会的作用。但是，有两个问题：一，似乎你也是要论证我们已经能够教育好儿童了，但是这点没有说出来。二，你联系到的是教育和社会，而不是socialization和社会】

When children acquire much knowledge in formal education, parents and community also play intellective 【？】role in helping children to grow up to a real person who are capable to bring about a better society. 【与上一论点相同，都是证明我们有能力教育儿童】To be at advantage and of capability to build up the society, children need much more comprehensive qualities from other group such as families and communities. Parents nowadays are focusing more concentration on the establishment of children’s self-confidence, positive attitude toward life, correct standard of value and participation of social activities; while the community makes much contribution to organize meaningful activities to enable children’s awareness of competition and cooperation. 【这里似乎说的是socialization了，但是，没有明确提出socialization】 For example, in Japan, there are survival trainings on filed 【field？】every year, and many children participate in this competition. What they learn is not only skills and knowledge, but also the talent to solve problem independently, the sprit of persistence, consciousness of cooperation when meeting difficulties and the awareness to win. Children who receive these trainings will be strong, brave and insistent as to promote the whole ethos of a nation when they grow up. 【如果能够明确的把你说的合作竞争等能力归结为socialization就对了。】

Admittedly, when guiding children to socialize, it is inevitable to have some drawbacks. In western world, since children are always growing up in a family where the environment is too relaxed for them, they, lacking of control, may be fractious; while in some eastern countries, since schools are always so strict with children’s grade and homework, children are sometimes cowardly and immature to show their potentials. 【似乎与socialization无关】Both the two kinds are the extremity in the course of socialization of children. However, nothing in the world is absolutely wonderful. What we should do is trying our best to correct our drawbacks momentarily make the ways of raising children toward a balance and proper way.

In conclusion, smart as human beings, we are learning how to raise children and making them independent, confidence and competent enough, so that they are of capability to build up a new world in the future. Flaws there may be, we are toward the right track to educate children and making progress everyday.

【语言还不错，不过论证上面问题不少。感觉还是没有很好的理解题目。】

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

:( 对阿 对阿
脱节的地方好多 偶也发现了 接不上呀  :o
诶 对这个题目还是很疑惑
看了鬼鬼同主题的分析还是对自己写的吃不准 :mad:

指向大海UID: 158737

本来就是像再鬼谷子之前发的，免的显得我的水平太烂，呵呵
很感谢你以前给我改的作文，谢了！


Children, who are always considered as the sun of a society and the flower of a country[这个应该想到外国人不是这样说的啊，我还看过写fly our dream一类的，这种用法出现在首句不太好], are as crucial as to determine the destiny society. In an effort to build our society a better place for human beings, we are trying our best and are almost on the right way in raising children so that we can effectively help them to bring about a better society. [感觉开头写的不算好，你究竟想说什么呢？]

Undoubtedly, children, full of innovative and creative aptitude, are the hope and future of a society. In modern world with the fabulous rapid change, only the infusion of the young power can the society be imbued with passion and vitality and keep prosperous. Hence, in the course of socialization of children, meaning that during this process children have their behaviors calibrated, their personalities cultivated, and their ability of adapting the environment and interacting with others developed so that they can perform so independently and confidently as to become the master of a society, we never [用词绝对化why?]fail to find a correct way to raise children and have made a myriad of achievement on training children so that they could accomplish their socialization and lift up the future of a society.[本来这一段应该下一些社会化的定义什么的比较好]

In the course of cultivate[cultivating] the professional capability of children to construct the society, perhaps nothing plays a more vital role to cultivate children's abilities in modern society than does education, by which children become able to soar their wings of aspiration of knowledge and skills. What delights us is that in modern society, formal education is endowed with a new mission, that is, to teach them new information and advanced technology so that they could swiftly adapt the rapid development of science and technology. For instance, Children in today' society have more opportunities to gain knowledge of advanced instruments, such as computers, internet, microscopes and so on, which vastly enhance their sensitivity in accepting new technology and managing modern instruments. Children under such education will likely be filled of awareness of the demand to develop modern technology in society and be skilled to manage significant projects of science researches, which will enhance the industry and economy development of a society.[这段只说孩子学习科学技术的问题不太够呢，再说了对么？现在人有四个现代化的责任感么？开个玩笑啊]

When children acquire much knowledge in formal education, parents and community also play intellective role in helping children to grow up to a real person who are capable to bring about a better society. To be at advantage and of capability to build up the society, children need much more comprehensive qualities from other group such as families and communities. Parents nowadays are focusing more concentration on the establishment of children’s self-confidence, positive attitude toward life, correct standard of value and participation of social activities; while the community makes much contribution to organize meaningful activities to enable children’s awareness of competition and cooperation. For example, in Japan, there are survival trainings on filed every year, and many children participate in this competition. What they learn is not only skills and knowledge, but also the talent to solve problem independently, the sprit of persistence, consciousness of cooperation when meeting difficulties and the awareness to win. Children who receive these trainings will be strong, brave and insistent as to promote the whole ethos of a nation when they grow up.

Admittedly[你正文第一段的信号词作何解释？], when guiding children to socialize, it is inevitable to have some drawbacks. In western world, since children are always growing up in a family where the environment is too relaxed for them, they, lacking of control, may be fractious; while in some eastern countries, since schools are always so strict with children’s grade and homework, children are sometimes cowardly and immature to show their potentials. Both the two kinds are the extremity in the course of socialization of children. However, nothing in the world is absolutely wonderful. What we should do is trying our best to correct our drawbacks momentarily make the ways of raising children toward a balance and proper way.[这段给我的感觉不是很好，好像是突然加进来]

In conclusion, smart as human beings, we are learning how to raise children and making them independent, confidence and competent enough, so that they are of capability to build up a new world in the future. Flaws there may be, we are toward the right track to educate children and making progress everyday.
[感觉你像写154呢！虽然很长但是没有捉住重点，个人意见，另外最好看看鬼谷子的教育类材料中对这个题目的理解
130 How children are socialized today determined the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
我觉得最首要的问题是弄明白socialize到底是什么意思，我最开始就弄错了。讨论孩子的社会化是否与社会的命运有关。第二个就是要讨论我们是否有能力培养出能建设出更好社会的孩子。算是1＋1的题目吧。

Socialization, process by which people, especially children, learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment.社会化的定义。]

neverflyUID: 166610

victor..的文采好漂亮，鬼谷子点评也很有力量，羡慕的说。
说两句，错了请包涵
Children, who are always considered as the sun of a society and the flower of a country are as crucial as to determine the destiny of society. 【开头概括内容和复述题目意思的时候，随便指代是不是容易引起误会】In an effort to build our society a better place for human beings, we are trying our best and are almost on the right way in raising children so that we can effectively help them to bring about a better society. 【effort to build our society a better place for human beings和help them to bring about a better society是不是有点重复了？】

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

嗯哪 大海你考的何如呀？感觉你进步很大捏，呵呵。
看了你的批改了，开头是想说孩子对社会命运决定，然后我们也在努力的引导他们帮助完成社会化。但是没说好，诶。
全文很多地方都很脱节，只要在说了孩子的问题，和后面我们怎么教育让他们社会化，必然连不到一起去。
还是对儿童社会化给社会命运带来的影响上讨论的太少了，这个关系没弄明确，然后后面说到教育的问题也无法自然的引过去。
谢谢批改，悟了些 呵呵

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

谢谢neverfly
开头确实挺迷惑的，今天阿莱死活读不懂，然后以为自己英文水平下降了还压抑的不行，都是我的错。:(
鬼鬼的点评一向很“有力量”，拳脚相加的，厉害呢！呵呵
6楼加油，有文章要我报仇的告诉我。

指向大海UID: 158737

最初由 victoriazhizhi 发布
[B]嗯哪 大海你考的何如呀？感觉你进步很大捏，呵呵。
看了你的批改了，开头是想说孩子对社会命运决定，然后我们也在努力的引导他们帮助完成社会化。但是没说好，诶。
全文?.

以下省略...... [/B]

你的语言是很好的，我批的一贯比较狠，呵呵
我考试的经验在我的机井里了，你可以去看看，现在还在第2版，你4月考，现在就写的不错了，加油，一定可以考好的。

boyjimUID: 125249

[第一次给吱吱改作文，嘿嘿嘿~我可是要你给我报仇的哦~]
------题目------
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
------正文------
Children, who are always considered as the sun of a society and the flower of a country [这个你去google搜索sun of a society，是没有一条记录D] , are as crucial as to determine the destiny [of] society. In an effort to build our society a better place for human beings, we are trying our best and are almost on the right way in raising children so that we can effectively help them to bring about a better society. [两句话分别回应题目么？]

Undoubtedly, children, full of innovative and creative aptitude, are the hope and future of a society. In modern world with the fabulous rapid change, only the infusion of the young power [查google，有三万多条信息，但是没有一条用在文章中的] can the society be imbued with passion and vitality and keep prosperous. Hence, in the course of socialization of children, meaning that during this process children have their behaviors calibrated [这个词用得好] , their personalities cultivated, and their ability of adapting the environment and interacting with others developed so that they can perform so independently and confidently as to become the master of a society, [这个状语真够劲啊~] we never fail to find a correct way to raise children and have made a myriad of achievement on training children so that they could accomplish their socialization and lift up the future of a society. [destiny去哪里了？]

In the course [这句话你不妨开头就放段中哦~咔咔~用两次了！] of cultivate the professional capability of children to construct the society, perhaps nothing plays a more [后面找不到than。perhaps nothing ...more than STH] vital role to cultivate children's abilities in modern society than does education, by which children become able to soar their wings of aspiration [这个用法有194条完整记录，还好有人用] of knowledge and skills. What delights us is that in modern society, formal education is endowed with a new mission, that is, to teach them new information and advanced technology so that they could swiftly adapt the rapid development of science and technology. [教科学知识等与社会化么？] For instance, Children in today' society have more opportunities to gain knowledge of advanced instruments, such as computers, internet, microscopes and so on, which vastly enhance their sensitivity in accepting new technology and managing modern instruments. [根社会化和命运一点关系都没有哦] Children under such education will likely be filled of awareness of the demand to develop modern technology in society and be skilled to manage significant projects of science researches, which will enhance the industry and economy development of a society. [学这个当然有好处拉~但是和社会化还有命运一点关系都没有哦，而你也没有很好的回应我们的教育好不好~只是说明了教授这些对社会有好处]

When children acquire much knowledge in formal education, parents and community also play intellective role in helping children to grow up to a real person who are capable to bring about a better society. To be at advantage and of capability to build up the society, [这个不定式做状语表示虾米~我要学学~] children need much more comprehensive qualities from other group such as families and communities. [扯得有点远了] Parents nowadays are focusing more concentration on the establishment of children’s self-confidence, positive attitude toward life, correct standard of value and participation of social activities; while the community makes much contribution to organize meaningful activities to enable children’s awareness of competition and cooperation. For example, in Japan, there are survival trainings on filed every year, and many children participate in this competition. What they learn is not only skills and knowledge, but also the talent to solve problem independently, the sprit [sprit 斜撑帆杆~还以为你想比喻呢~看来是拼写错误] of persistence, consciousness of cooperation when meeting difficulties and the awareness to win. Children who receive these trainings will be strong, brave and insistent as to promote the whole ethos of a nation when they grow up.

Admittedly, when guiding children to socialize, it is inevitable to have some drawbacks. In western world, since children are always growing up in a family where the environment is too relaxed for them, they, lacking of control, may be fractious; while in some eastern countries, since schools are always so strict with children’s grade and homework, children are sometimes cowardly and immature [为了让fractious和cowardly更加对比鲜明，可以把这两个句子改写一下，震撼些！] to show their potentials. Both the two kinds are the extremity in the course [换词！！！] of socialization of children. However, nothing in the world is absolutely wonderful. What we should do is trying our best to correct [try已经是一个低级词汇了~你怎么又用了一个correct~不像你哦~endeavor, eliminate] our drawbacks momentarily [and] make the ways of raising children toward a balance and proper way.

In conclusion, smart as human beings, we are learning how to raise children and making them independent, confidence and competent enough, so that they are of capability to build up a new world in the future. Flaws there may be [两个同一类型的倒装，可以换个说法] , we are toward the right track to educate children and making progress everyday.
[还是没有把教育和命运联系在一起啊~]

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

楼上的批改让我又哭又笑
你的语言和表达方式真逗，让人轻松的接受你的意见，这是个优势呀，可以在一休里发挥下:o
提到的问题确实很对体，还有关于语言和表达上的建议也很专业的说，还查了那么多东西呀，佩服，我一般想不出来就自己造，嘿嘿，得改正。
我也发现这篇一堆问题了，你的批改又让我明白了不少，主要还是说孩子呀教育呀和社会化上有脱节，连不好，这个很严重，诶。
谢谢楼上的
这篇130我就不去给报仇了，下篇记得告诉我呀！

boyjimUID: 125249

最初由 victoriazhizhi 发布
[B]楼上的批改让我又哭又笑
你的语言和表达方式真逗，让人轻松的接受你的意见，这是个优势呀，可以在一休里发挥下:o
提到的问题确实很对体，还有关于语言和表达上的建议也很..

以下省略...... [/B]

:eek: ~~~拿给我改丑闻那题吧~龙哥说看看~到现在也没上来~估计是在挣大钱呢~ :p

龙非UID: 193190

NND，终于有空上来吸个气。。。
一上来，倒，就看见jim在背后说我坏话，嘿嘿。。。
占个坑看看。。。

龙非UID: 193190

------题目------
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
------正文------
Children, who are always considered as the sun of a society and the flower of a country怎么跟小学的课本一样啊，还是不要了吧，老米要抓狂的哦, are as crucial as to determine the destiny societyas crucial as to do不通吧. In an effort to build our society a better place for human beings,这一句读起来怪，什么成分？状语？修饰谁的？ we are trying our best and are almost on the right way in raising children so that we can effectively help them不是我们help them to bring啊，是they help bring to bring about a better society.建议不要try our best，说你行就可以啦，还要说我们在努力，听起来底气就不足，而且你第一段是要肯定前半句的吧，也要提一提

Undoubtedly, children, full of innovative and creative aptitude,这一小句不是很妥，children会full of innovative and creative aptitude？长大了还差不多 are the hope and future of a society. In modern world with the fabulous rapid change, only the infusion of the young power can the society be imbued with passion and vitality and keep prosperous. Hence, in the course of socialization of children, meaning that during this process children have their behaviors calibrated, their personalities cultivated, and their ability of adapting the environment and interacting with others developed so that they can perform so independently and confidently as to become the master of a society, we never fail to find a correct way to raise children and have made a myriad of achievement on training children so that they could accomplish their socialization and lift up the future of a society. 这一段不好，有点乱，没重点。先说小孩重要，再定义了社会化，然后说我们知道怎样正确地raise children，并取得了成就。没有任何论证过程，我理解你这一段是想response题目的第一句，儿童如何社会化决定了社会的命运，那么我想可以这样去考虑：儿童是社会的未来，他们肩负着在未来建设社会的重任，而社会化正是教会他们如何适应社会和建设社会，因此，如何社会化决定了社会的命运

In the course of cultivate the professional capability of children to construct the society, perhaps nothing plays a more vital role to cultivate children's abilities in modern society than does education, by which children become able to soar their wings of aspiration of knowledge and skills. What delights us is that in modern society, formal education is endowed with a new mission, that is, to teach them new information and advanced technology so that they could swiftly adapt the rapid development of science and technology. For instance, Children in today' society have more opportunities to gain knowledge of advanced instruments, such as computers, internet, microscopes and so on, which vastly enhance their sensitivity in accepting new technology and managing modern instruments. Children under such education will likely be filled of awareness of the demand to develop modern technology in society and be skilled to manage significant projects of science researches, which will enhance the industry and economy development of a society.你的TS说教育对cultivate children‘s abilites很重要，然后讲了我们怎样教，儿童可以学到什么，最后说这些将增强社会工业和经济发展。如果换个角度写，你看怎么样？TS是我们现在formal education 教给了小孩可以增强社会工业和经济发展的知识。然后讲我们formal education教给了小孩什么知识，接着讲这些知识确实可以更好发展社会工业和经济，并举个例子论证，我们已经用这些知识发展了社会的工业和经济，结论我们的正规教育知道怎样去教育小孩建设了一个比以前好的社会（这里有一点问题，就是如何定义“better”？是不是就是工业和经济发展就是better）

When children acquire much knowledge in formal education, parents and community also play intellective role in helping children to grow up to a real person who are capable to bring about a better society. To be at advantage and of capability to build up the society, children need much more comprehensive qualities from other group such as families and communities. Parents nowadays are focusing more concentration on the establishment of children’s self-confidence, positive attitude toward life, correct standard of value and participation of social activities; while the community makes much contribution to organize meaningful activities to enable children’s awareness of competition and cooperation. For example, in Japan, there are survival trainings on filed every year, and many children participate in this competition. What they learn is not only skills and knowledge, but also the talent to solve problem independently, the sprit of persistence, consciousness of cooperation when meeting difficulties and the awareness to win. Children who receive these trainings will be strong, brave and insistent as to promote the whole ethos of a nation when they grow up. TS讲家长和社区也有很重要的作用去帮助小孩成长为一个可以建设更好社会的人。然后将要建设更好社会，小孩需要什么，接着将我们教给了他们这些。还是换个角度写，你看怎么样？TS是家长和社区也教给了小孩如何建设更好社会的知识。然后将一个更好的社会，不仅仅是工业经济比以前好就够了，还需要什么（加点论证，为什么还需要这些），家长和社区现在确实教给了他们这些东西，再举个例子证明一下我们确实教给他们这些东西，而这些东西也确实有助于建设一个更好社会

Admittedly, when guiding children to socialize, it is inevitable to have some drawbacks. In western world, since children are always growing up in a family where the environment is too relaxed for them, they, lacking of control, may be fractious; while in some eastern countries, since schools are always so strict with children’s grade and homework, children are sometimes cowardly and immature to show their potentials. Both the two kinds are the extremity in the course of socialization of children. However, nothing in the world is absolutely wonderful. What we should do is trying our best to correct our drawbacks momentarily make the ways of raising children toward a balance and proper way. 这一段你让步raise还有缺陷，我觉得就不要扯个socialize进去了，你就还是raise就可以了

In conclusion, smart as human beings, we are learning how to raise children and making them independent, confidence and competent enough, so that they are of capability to build up a new world in the future. Flaws there may be, we are toward the right track to educate children and making progress everyday. 结尾也不好，你整篇其实是肯定我们会嘛，为什么要are learning呢？还有文章中有些词语也体现了这个问题，就是底气不足，要说我们懂，又要说我们还在学习，会就是会啦，虽然还有一些小毛病，但我们就是会，坚决一点，不然又怎么能说服人的，体现思维的严谨，不绝对不是这样子的。

至于说socialize，既然我们已经将之分为两句话来看待，肯定第一句，否定第二句，而题目第二句并没有直接跟socialize相关，我觉得即使在论证第二句的时候不涉及socialzie也是没有太大问题的，只要紧扣raise，不要中间突然冒出个socialize，那么不交待raise和socialzie的关系是可以接受的

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谢谢龙兄弟
就不仔细给 你回复了 认真看了批改
再看这篇偶要疯了:mad: