[color=#00b6ff]Issue38 television和books的，有拍必回

giraUID: 188010

38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books." 在电视机时代，阅读书籍已经没有原来那样重要了。人们从电视上学到的东西丝毫不比从书本中学来的少

观点：电视有有点，但书籍仍然重要，两者缺一不可
1. 电视直观
  书籍可提供电视不能提供的信息
2. 书籍更自主，可选择
sum up

Step into this technology mushrooming 21st century, medium for knowledge and information transmitting are highly varied and dazzling. Televisions in modern time had become a very important part in most of the family, school and work place, seemingly going to replace the character of books they played for hundreds of years. However, although television boom are laudable, books as a specialized form of knowledge and information medium can never been substituted totally by television, or some other digital information technology.

Firstly, let us come to a whole view of television at our time. Since during the late 20th century television-tech was popularized through the whole world, our way of information collecting was enlarged. Nowadays, from pupils to college students to works in companies or factories do not have to imagine what they are learning only by reading letters on books, or better, stare into the colorful picture printed delicately on it, with regard to the appealing traits and easygoing nature, they can see the result and research procedure through the television screen, watching what is happening and listen to the oral interpretation synchronously, which helps them understand the knowledge directly and intuitionally.

Yet watching moving pictures with synchronous sound will never be enough for people to learn new things. At the one hand, the knowledge of our ancestors passed down through generations is mostly written down in words, they can not be described as moving figures. While on the other hand, some details can not be correctly showed on television programs: just imagine of group of engineer workers trying to find out statistics of a model thus they can play it out on the right ground, television images will fail to provide them with every data they want, and the procedure will hardly come into being. Each way of learning has its advantages, television and books are not capable to win over each other at least in the perceptible future.

Secondly, reading books is an active process which allows our choice making, rather than waiting in front of the television objectively. If we search the very information we need even when we had the playbill in hands,  redundant knowledge comes to our eyes, disturbing our minds, even left bogged in the mire of information, in despite of we can never ask for what we originally intend to watch. While in virtue of today’s vastly spread internet, we are able to search for books with myriads of subjects which accurately fit our needs, proves books to be the more efficient way of knowledge learning.

To sum up, books are the brilliant tool of knowledge passing that will never fade away. Though reading books, in this information expanding era, is not as important as it used to be the only medium to pass down knowledge, however, no matter how the television plays a vast role in modern life, books still have their irreplaceable meaning. Reading books is a efficient and helpful way that never should be throw away.

自己觉得有点乱，语言上还要改进。例子也。。觉得这种生活主题不用举具体例子，imagine就行？砖头快飞～

鬼谷子UID: 159645

我来献吻了

鬼谷子UID: 159645

38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books." 在电视机时代，阅读书籍已经没有原来那样重要了。人们从电视上学到的东西丝毫不比从书本中学来的少

观点：电视有有点【优点，注意检查:D】，但书籍仍然重要，两者缺一不可
1. 电视直观
书籍可提供电视不能提供的信息【这点明明是在说书籍的优点,怎么能混到一起呢？】
2. 书籍更自主，可选择
sum up【提纲不是太清楚，看了后文再说吧】

Step into this technology mushrooming 21st century, medium for knowledge and information transmitting are【单复数一致，前面应该是media】 highly varied and dazzling. Televisions in modern time had become a very important part in most of the family, school and work place, seemingly going to replace the character of books they played for hundreds 【几百年少了点】of years. However, although television boom are【？单复数】 laudable, 【这句含糊，没说到点子上】 books as a specialized form of knowledge and information medium can never been substituted totally by television, or some other digital information technology.

Firstly, let us come to a whole view of television at our time. 【TS要明确一点，这个TS含糊】 Since during the late 20th century television-tech was popularized through the whole world, our way of information collecting was enlarged. 【way enlarged？搭配不当】Nowadays, from pupils to college students to works【workers？检查！】 in companies or factories do not have to imagine【？】 what they are learning only by reading letters on books, or better, stare into the colorful picture printed delicately on it, with regard to the appealing traits and easygoing nature, they can see the result and research procedure through the television screen, watching what is happening and listen to the oral interpretation synchronously, which helps them understand the knowledge directly and intuitionally【没有这个词】.
【对比的不够，书籍的缺点和电视的优点没有论述清楚】

Yet watching moving pictures with synchronous sound will never be enough for people to learn new things. At【on】 the one hand, the knowledge of our ancestors passed down through generations is mostly written down in words, they can not be described as moving figures. 【为什么呢？不要只是说出来，要证出来】While on the other hand, some details can not be correctly showed on television programs: just imagine of group of engineer workers trying to find out statistics of a model thus they can play it out on the right ground, television images will fail to provide them with every data they want, and the procedure will hardly come into being. Each way of learning has its advantages, television and books are not capable to win over each other at least in the perceptible future. 【同等重要了？】
【论述的过程有待提高，不够深入】

Secondly, 【这个firstly和secondly的设置不合适，前面的firstly里面说了两个不同方向的内容。】reading books is an active process which allows our choice making, rather than waiting in front of the television objectively. If we search the very information we need even when we had the playbill in hands, redundant knowledge comes to our eyes, disturbing our minds, even left bogged in the mire of information, in despite of we can never ask for what we originally intend to watch. While in virtue of today’s vastly spread internet, we are able to search for books with myriads of subjects which accurately fit our needs, proves books to be the more efficient way of knowledge learning. 【yet一段实际上已经是总结了，这里再来一段书籍的优点，顺序不当，应该把yet段放在最后】

To sum up, books are the brilliant tool of knowledge passing that will never fade away. Though reading books, in this information expanding era, is not as important as it used to be the only medium to pass down knowledge, however, no matter how the television plays a vast role in modern life, books still have their irreplaceable meaning. Reading books is a efficient and helpful way that never should be throw away.

【结构有点顺序混乱，论证上面问题明显，很多问题没说到重点上，没论述清楚。加油！】

arhooUID: 180462

38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books." 在电视机时代，阅读书籍已经没有原来那样重要了。人们从电视上学到的东西丝毫不比从书本中学来的少

观点：电视有有点，但书籍仍然重要，两者缺一不可
1. 电视直观
书籍可提供电视不能提供的信息
2. 书籍更自主，可选择
sum up

[Step-->Stepping] into this technology mushrooming 21st century, medium for knowledge and information transmitting are highly varied and dazzling. Televisions in modern time had become a very important part in most of the family, school and work place, seemingly going to replace the character of books they played for hundreds of years. However, although television boom are laudable, books as a specialized form of knowledge and information medium can never been substituted totally by television, or some other digital information technology.[鉴于我至今无法限时完成的情况，一般我对自己的要求是开头越简越好。省点时间后面分析可能可以深入周全一些]

Firstly, let us [come to-->take] a whole view of television at our time. Since during the late 20th century television-tech was popularized through the whole world, our way of information collecting was enlarged. Nowadays, from pupils to college students to works in companies or factories do not have to imagine what they are learning only by reading letters on books, or better, stare into the colorful picture printed delicately on it, with regard to the appealing traits and easygoing nature, they can see the result and research procedure through the television screen, watching what is happening and listen to the oral interpretation synchronously, which helps them understand the knowledge directly and intuitionally. [这一段叙述性较强，而且是描述common sense, 能不能深入一点，或者把book拿进来做强一点的对比？]

Yet watching moving pictures with synchronous sound will never be enough for people to learn new things.[never be enough，never是绝对化，后面没证明，属于allege。而且这句话作为这段的TS还挑得不够明，虽然意思到了。不如直接说说tv有局限] At the one hand, the knowledge of our ancestors passed down through generations is mostly written down in words, they can not be described as moving figures. While on the other hand, some details can not be correctly showed on television programs: just imagine of group of engineer workers trying to find out statistics of a model thus they can play it out on the right ground, television images will fail to provide them with every data they want, and the procedure will hardly come into being. Each way of learning has its advantages, television and books are not capable to win over each other at least in the perceptible future.

Secondly[这个second对哪个first？], [头句还是没把段落意思挑明。]reading books is an active process which allows our choice making, rather than waiting in front of the television objectively. If we search the very information we need even when we had the playbill in hands, redundant knowledge comes to our eyes, disturbing our minds, even left bogged in the mire of information, in despite of we can never ask for what we originally intend to watch. While in virtue of today’s vastly spread internet, we are able to search for books with myriads of subjects which accurately fit our needs, proves books to be the more efficient way of knowledge learning.

To sum up, books are the brilliant tool of knowledge passing that will never fade away. Though reading books, in this information expanding era, is not as important as it used to be the only medium to pass down knowledge, however, no matter how the television plays a vast role in modern life, books still have their irreplaceable meaning. Reading books is a efficient and helpful way that never should be throw away.

好像没有和提纲吻合？

感觉没有把你的论证依照段和段分得很清晰。可能对compare型的论证方法有点生疏，看一下poohJJ贴的https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=162883之7.3 The Structure of a Comparative Argument

giraUID: 188010

38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books." 在电视机时代，阅读书籍已经没有原来那样重要了。人们从电视上学到的东西丝毫不比从书本中学来的少

观点：电视有有点【优点，注意检查】【呐，恩呐】但书籍仍然重要，两者缺一不可
1. 电视直观 【能提供书籍不能表现的场景】
  【书籍客观】可提供电视不能提供的信息【这点明明是在说书籍的优点,怎么能混到一起呢？】
2. 书籍更自主，可选择
sum up【提纲不是太清楚，看了后文再说吧】【明白，以后改】

Step into this technology mushrooming 21st century, medium for knowledge and information transmitting are【单复数一致，前面应该是media】 highly varied and dazzling. Televisions in modern time had become a very important part in most of the family, school and work place, seemingly going to replace the character of books they played for hundreds 【几百年少了点】of years 【more than a thousand years】. However, although television boom are【？单复数】 laudable, 【这句含糊，没说到点子上】【嗯，不就是正评价么？】 books as a specialized form of knowledge and information medium can never been substituted totally by television, or some other digital information technology. 【的确，有很多语法问题。。>______< 。。。。】[鉴于我至今无法限时完成的情况，一般我对自己的要求是开头越简越好。省点时间后面分析可能可以深入周全一些]【很同意】

Firstly, let us come to a whole view of television at our time. 【TS要明确一点，这个TS含糊】【好!】 Since during the late 20th century television-tech was popularized through the whole world, our way of information collecting was enlarged. 【way enlarged？搭配不当】【broadened】Nowadays, from pupils to college students to works【workers？检查！】@_@。。 in companies or factories do not have to imagine【？】【向说想象书中不直观的一切】 what they are learning only by reading letters on books, or better, stare into the colorful picture printed delicately on it, with regard to the appealing traits and easygoing nature, they can see the result and research procedure through the television screen, watching what is happening and listen to the oral interpretation synchronously, which helps them understand the knowledge directly and intuitionally【没有这个词】【传统词典上有吖】.
【对比的不够，书籍的缺点和电视的优点没有论述清楚】[这一段叙述性较强，而且是描述common sense, 能不能深入一点，或者把book拿进来做强一点的对比？] 【nod!】

Yet watching moving pictures with synchronous sound will never be enough for people to learn new things. At【on】 the one hand, the knowledge of our ancestors passed down through generations is mostly written down in words, they can not be described as moving figures. 【为什么呢？不要只是说出来，要证出来】While on the other hand, some details can not be correctly showed on television programs: just imagine of group of engineer workers trying to find out statistics of a model thus they can play it out on the right ground, television images will fail to provide them with every data they want, and the procedure will hardly come into being. Each way of learning has its advantages, television and books are not capable to win over each other at least in the perceptible future. 【同等重要了？】.[never be enough，never是绝对化，后面没证明，属于allege。而且这句话作为这段的TS还挑得不够明，虽然意思到了。不如直接说说tv有局限]
【论述的过程有待提高，不够深入】【接受，再改】

Secondly, 【这个firstly和secondly的设置不合适，前面的firstly里面说了两个不同方向的内容。】reading books is an active process which allows our choice making, rather than waiting in front of the television objectively. If we search the very information we need even when we had the playbill in hands, redundant knowledge comes to our eyes, disturbing our minds, even left bogged in the mire of information, in despite of we can never ask for what we originally intend to watch. While in virtue of today’s vastly spread internet, we are able to search for books with myriads of subjects which accurately fit our needs, proves books to be the more efficient way of knowledge learning. 【yet一段实际上已经是总结了，这里再来一段书籍的优点，顺序不当，应该把yet段放在最后】【哦】

To sum up, books are the brilliant tool of knowledge passing that will never fade away. Though reading books, in this information expanding era, is not as important as it used to be the only medium to pass down knowledge, however, no matter how the television plays a vast role in modern life, books still have their irreplaceable meaning. Reading books is a efficient and helpful way that never should be throw away.

【结构有点顺序混乱，论证上面问题明显，很多问题没说到重点上，没论述清楚。加油！】
感觉没有把你的论证依照段和段分得很清晰。可能对compare型的论证方法有点生疏，看一下poohJJ贴的https://bbs.gter.net/showthread....threadid=162883之7.3 The Structure of a Comparative Argument