ISSUE144 同主题，又交晚了。。。

ZEALPALADINUID：192560

Issue144  第4篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户          533 words

------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.


提纲

观点：艺术家为社会创造了持久的价值，但评论家的作用不应该忽视

B1 没有艺术家创作，也就没有了艺术作品的价值。评论家没办法凭空捏造艺术品的价值
B2 但评论家可以教外行欣赏艺术的价值
B3 不可否认，评论家会因为各种原因范错误


------正文------
Is it the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value, as the speaker contend? I agree with the speaker insofar as art works that provide human being the sense of beauty, and give something of lasting value to our society do not exist without artists. Nevertheless, we should not ignore the works of critics.


In the first place, it is artists instead of critics that create works that contain lasting artistic value. It is hard to imagine, without seeing the masterpiece, how people appreciate Mona Lisa only through critics' comment on it. Furthermore, in case that Da Vinci never created Mona Lisa, how can we feel the smile of that unidentified woman? It is obvious that critics cannot praise something that does not exist at all. Common senses tell us that there should be no art works if artists do not create them. Also, consider the virtuosities of the Renaissance in Italy that were kept unviolated until today, people in our time may catch the splendor of art in that period of time only through these masterpiece. Critics both at that time and nowadays, can never convey the value of the works to us.


In the second place, we should not overlook the role of critics who can tell a layman which art work is worthy to be paid attention to, and help artists to be known by more people. Consider, for example, when a person has no idea to select a movie, what should he or she do? The answer is to buy a movie magazine to see the comment on current movies or to watch a guidance program on movies on TV, and that is fastest and easiest way to find out which movie should be chosen. After all, movies with awards, such as Oscar Award, are more likely to be known to the world, which bring back both confidence and profit that may sustain artists to continue their work. Moreover, critics help artists become popular, after all it is harder for common people to catch the notion of an impressionistic drawing than to understand critics' comment on it. Artists do provide merits of art that critics explain and spread to the world.


Admittedly, critics may make mistakes for prejudices and personal proclivities, which may mantle the greatness of artists in short term. Consider, for instance, Van Gogh's work never won critics' favor during his lifetime, which rendered him incapable to sell out his drawings to continue his career even his living and board. Had critics found the talent of Van Gogh's, we might see more great works from him. Moreover, critics may be controlled by himself or some larger unit for the sake of making profit or some underhanded notions, which also impedes critics to make a sound judgment.


In the final analysis, lasting value always comes from virtuosities created by artists. Critics can never provide society something of lasting value, while critics may help people find out works worth their time and appreciation. And in case we neglect the role of critics, when faced with the abstruse and varied world of art, we might hardly be able to discern the lasting value that artists provide.



修改了两遍，又交晚了

乒乓球爱上九月UID：162925

Is it the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value, as the speaker contend? I agree with the speaker [U]insofar[/U] 这个地方你就是在解释原因,insofas有保留某种意见的意思,然后艺术家作用这个方面你并没有与题目有冲突的地方,所以不要用sofaras as art works that provide human being the sense of beauty, [I]and[/I] 除非你后面非要以这样的逻辑关系论证 否则不要这样写 当然这有点吹毛求疵了   give something of lasting value to our society do not exist without artists. Nevertheless, we should not ignore the works of critics. 开头一般


In the first place, it is artists [B]instead of critics [/B] 一个问题:这个题目其实并没有非要让你将艺术家和评论家进行比较,你为什么非要加个这样的限制呢?让人有非此即彼的感觉了,就说艺术家如何如何就好了.(何况你的观点本身就是两者都重要)  that create works that contain lasting artistic value. It is hard to imagine, without seeing the masterpiece, how people appreciate Mona Lisa only through critics' comment on it. Furthermore, in case that Da Vinci never created Mona Lisa, how can we feel the smile of that unidentified woman? It is obvious that critics cannot praise something that does not exist at all. Common senses tell us that there should be no art works if artists do not create them. Also, consider the virtuosities of the Renaissance in Italy that were kept unviolated until today, people in our time may catch the splendor of art in that period of time only through these masterpiece. Critics both at that time and nowadays, can never convey the value of the works to us.应该将重点放到论述 It is the artist who gives society something of lasting value


In the second place, we should not overlook the role of critics who can tell a layman which art work is worthy to be paid attention to, and help artists to be known by more people. Consider, for example, when a person has no idea to select a movie, what should he or she do? The answer is to buy a movie magazine to see the comment on current movies or to watch a guidance program on movies on TV, and that is fastest and easiest way to find out which movie should be chosen. After all, movies with awards, such as Oscar Award, are more likely to be known to the world, which bring back both confidence and profit that may sustain artists to continue their work. Moreover, critics help artists become popular, after all it is harder for common people to catch the notion of an impressionistic drawing than to understand critics' comment on it. Artists do provide merits of art that critics explain and spread to the world.
这一段有两个问题:第一个分论点似乎在说人们通过评论选择艺术品,这似乎是评论的作用,但不代表它能够带来last value, 还是要归纳到这一点才对;  同时,你的moreover这个逻辑来的很牵强. 建议再多看看范文和优秀习作 从新总结这个论证观点

Admittedly, critics may make mistakes for prejudices and personal proclivities, which may mantle the greatness of artists in short term. Consider, for instance, Van Gogh's work never won critics' favor during his lifetime, which rendered him incapable to sell out his drawings to continue his career even his living and board. Had critics found the talent of Van Gogh's, we might see more great works from him. Moreover, critics may be controlled by himself or some larger unit for the sake of making profit or some underhanded notions, which also impedes critics to make a sound judgment.我要是你,就不这么写,凭什么让步!!  话到嘴里方的都可以变成圆的: 正是因为人们(干吗非说是critics))对于伟大作品容易产生错误的理解,lasting value 需要critics来阐释发扬


In the final analysis, lasting value always comes from virtuosities created by artists. Critics can never provide society something of lasting value, while critics may help people find out works worth their time and appreciation. And in case we neglect the role of critics, when faced with the abstruse and varied world of art, we might hardly be able to discern the lasting value that artists provide.

乒乓球爱上九月UID：162925

我可交了.... 没看到是你的问题

ZEALPALADINUID：192560

非常感谢！！