argument22

haze1894UID: 185775

According to the memo, the president of a company that builds and sells new houses in Steel city put forward a proposal that the company should makes changes in their business to increase company profits by two ways. One is to build fewer low priced houses than they did last year and focus instead on building houses designed to sell at above 150,000, the other way is to build a larger total number of houses than they did last year. However, if u take a closer look at his claim, u will find there are several flaws in these aspects.

First of all, the president shows that over the past five years, the population of steel city has increased by more than 20 percent. However, he fails to substantiate that the increasing population is responsible for the growing purchasing powers of houses. For example, the increasing population may be caused by influx of flow people. But this kind of people prefers renting houses rather than buying houses. The population is rising might also due to new born babies, and these babies couldn’t be able to buy houses in the recent years.

Secondly, to further support his arguments, the president also cites that family incomes in Steel City have risen much faster than the national average. Nevertheless, if the living standards of Steel City are very low and family incomes are relatively low in a comparison to other cities, citizens in this city also couldn’t be able to afford such expensive houses that are over $150,000 even though their incomes are rising faster than the national average. Assuming family incomes are very high, there is not enough proof to explain that people in this city are willing to make housing purchases.

Thirdly, the president shows that sales of houses priced above $150,000 have increased more than have sales of lower-priced houses in the nation. In my opinion, it is unconvincing because general situation cannot stand for a specific sample. Even if the average sales of upper level houses are prosperous, the situation of Steel City might just go the opposite way. Perhaps people in this city would like to inexpensive houses.

Fourthly, the president considers that the company should hire additional workers so that they can build a larger total number of houses than they did last year. But from the content he mentioned in the memo, we can’t predict that the company needs more workers. To my certain knowledge, the number of workers is not in proportion to the efficiency.

In sum, the argument that president cites couldn’t hold on the water at all. To bolster the recommendation, he must provide much more details and statistic evidence. He must prove that the growing population of people and faster increasing family incomes are related to upper level housing purchases.

mondiaUID: 193825

Fourthly...

呆会儿来改

mondiaUID: 193825

No.1 argument22
According to the memo, the president of a company that builds and sells new houses in Steel city put puts forward a proposal that the company should makesmake changes in their businessstrategy to increase company profits by two ways. One is to build fewer low priced houses than they did last year and focus instead on building houses designed to sell at above 150,000,; the other way is to build a larger total number of houses than they did last year上面也是这个，换个说法吧. However, if u take a closer look at his claim, u will find there are several flaws in these the following aspects.

First of all, the president shows that over the past five years, the population of steel city has increased by more than 20 percent. However, he fails to substantiate that the increasing population is responsible for the growing purchasing powers of houses. For example, the increasing population may be caused by influx of flow people不清楚，流动人口是这么说么？. But this kind of people prefers renting houses rather than buying houses. The population is rising might also due to new born babies, and these babies couldn’t be able to buy houses in the recent years.感觉baby有点无辜；还是应该直接落室到买房的适龄人群上去吧，或者最后加句baby增加是由于人口政策什么的，买房的主力中青年人群并未显著增加

Secondly, to further support his arguments, the president also cites that family incomes in Steel City have risen much faster than the national average. Nevertheless, if the living standards of Steel City are very low and family incomes are relatively low in a comparison to other cities, citizens in this city also couldn’t be able to afford such expensive houses that are over $150,000 even though their incomes are rising faster than the national average. Assuming family incomes are very high感觉。。, there is not enough proof to explain that people in this city are willing to make housing purchases.加点教育投入什么的，（上面把baby当了替罪羊，补偿一下 :D ）                                       

Thirdly, the president shows that sales of houses priced above $150,000 have increased more than have sales of lower-priced houses in the nation. In my opinion, it is unconvincing because general situation cannot stand for a specific sample.强 Even if the average sales of upper level houses are prosperous, the situation of Steel City might just go the opposite way. Perhaps people in this city would like to purchase inexpensive houses. 加点点原因，什么理性的消费观念，淳朴的民风什么的

Fourthly, the president considers that the company should hire additional workers so that they can build a larger total number of houses than they did last year. But from the content he mentioned in the memo, we can’t predict that the company needs more workers. To my certain knowledge, the number of workers is not in proportion to the efficiency.
有点逃兵的味道;可以加上如果前三点都不成立，这显然成无根之木了

In sum, the argument that president cites couldn’t hold on the water at all. To bolster the recommendation, he must provide much more details and statistic evidence. He must prove that the growing population of people and faster increasing family incomes are related to upper level housing purchases.


感觉一二三四有点僵；（上午自己摸了一下才知道对别人指手画脚容易。。。 :( ）
另
Hold on the water 是什么？没查到，请教一下