寄托天下
查看: 1510|回复: 6
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[i习作temp] Issue147 必认认真真回该 这是三月份的高频题,大家来看看吧,不该也行, [复制链接]

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
2980
注册时间
2005-3-2
精华
2
帖子
1
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2005-3-21 11:02:22 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue147  第4篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:45分2秒     538 words
从2005年2月21日10时12分到2005年2月21日10时45分
------题目------
Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.
------正文------
    Are tradition and modernization incompatible, as the speaker asserts? If so, one has to choose between them. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally disagree with the speaker. In the modern society, people can maintain the culture tradition, while accepting modernization in the field of science and technology, as discussed below.
   
   The first reason why I disagree with the speaker has to do with that people can still maintain the attitude toward the culture tradition and morality tradition, such as belief, arts, music, novel and so forth. Such as people may still keep their belief in the religion. A telling example is that people, in China, now still keep the valuable tradition that they should try to be loyal, and keep the virtue of work hard whatever bad situation they are in. In addition, people, all over the world, are all have such tradition more or less.

    Secondly, modernization has great influence on people in the respects of science and technology. It is obvious that there are increasing equipment such as computer, robot, Internet, airplane, and so forth, which render everyday life convenient. As the process of modernization of industry, farming, science and technology, people are using the products of modernization so frequently that sometimes they are not even aware. There are many cases that can illustrate people choose to accept the modernization. One need only to see the passengers on the planes or trains compared to other exhausting transportation tools, and he or she can recognize what the great influence on the society. Moreover, people can acquire much useful information via the Internet, newspaper, and radio station, which are the products of modernization. What's more, they can make use of the advanced method for analyzing the data. Therefore, people actually choose modernization in their every life.

Thirdly, people use the products of modernization of almost every respect such as work, everyday life, commerce and politics.  An appealing example is that an executive in most of the company, acquire commercial information via Internet and hire computer to analyze the data in order to make appropriate measures. Moreover, when a candidate runs for a position, he/she may use television, newspaper, and television to publicize his/her proposal. In other words, people are really accepting in their life.

Finally, when it comes the tradition and modernization, I concede that we can choose both of them; this is not to say that they are desperate and have not relationship. Common sense tell us that modernization have great influence on tradition, meanwhile, tradition also have an impact on modernization. On the one hand, the products of modernization can cause the significance changes of people's lifestyle, and thus influence their minds more or less. On the other hand, the traditional minds, such as loving peace, respecting others, novels, arts affect modernization too. For example, although some method and equipment are useful, such as Clone, should be not encouraged in a certain period.

In the final analysis, while people can still maintain the tradition, which although sometimes are influenced, they can choose moderation, too. As the development of science and technology, human being, who can make full use of modernization and maintain increasing positive attitude toward tradition and modernization, will have a bright future.
天道酬勤
shengboguo@yahoo.com
回应
0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
1197
注册时间
2005-1-27
精华
1
帖子
0
沙发
发表于 2005-3-21 11:33:01 |只看该作者
没有太多的时间很仔细帮你改,等考过之后再好好给你改几篇吧.
粗略的看下来,我觉得你的问题主要是在于逻辑.
首先,你提出了自己的观点,不同意论述者的观点,这个首段还是不错的,怎么觉得和我的有点象?^_^
但是,后面你的论述却没有(至少我觉得没有)lend sufficient support to your argument.你首先讨论了传统的好处,但是在接下来的论述中你用了大量的篇幅在说现代化的优点,让人有这样的一种感觉,现代化太好了,我们应该选择现代化,虽然你的B的最后一段中重新将问题带回到讨论这两者的选择上并且得到了自己开头的时候的结论,但是由于你上面3段的论述,使你的这一段的论述变的不那么convincing了.因为你在现代化的优势上面说得太多了,以至于我不能看出遵循传统有什么样的好处,那么你的论点是不是就不成立了呢?
以上是我的感觉.还有,觉得你有的段落中的例子不够典型,论述也欠深度,尤其是在将例子联系到文章的主题的时候还是欠火候.
不过上面都是我个人的看法,有鉴别的接受,去粗取精,加油!
我是一只菜鸟,怎么飞都飞不高~

申请申请。。。。。。
现有offer:
Uppsala University@Sweden
等待美国offer中!
2006.1.27 00:00 rej from MCDB@JHU

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
2980
注册时间
2005-3-2
精华
2
帖子
1
板凳
发表于 2005-3-21 12:01:49 |只看该作者
谢谢.
确实是例子有问题, 尤其是逻辑的问题,怎么老是该不掉!
加油!
天道酬勤
shengboguo@yahoo.com

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
1197
注册时间
2005-1-27
精华
1
帖子
0
地板
发表于 2005-3-21 12:19:34 |只看该作者
我觉得你现在时间还早,不用逼自己限时,因为限时的时候很多词找不到替换,很多想表达的东西表达不出来.尤其是逻辑可能会混乱掉.毕竟看着那个时钟谁都不会一点都不急.我觉得你现在倒是可以把你要写的题目好好想想再写,认真考虑过了就不会在逻辑上面出问题了.其实AW最重要的还是逻辑,是吧?
我是一只菜鸟,怎么飞都飞不高~

申请申请。。。。。。
现有offer:
Uppsala University@Sweden
等待美国offer中!
2006.1.27 00:00 rej from MCDB@JHU

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
2980
注册时间
2005-3-2
精华
2
帖子
1
5
发表于 2005-3-21 16:21:30 |只看该作者
是的是的,圣光说的对!
对题目思考的确实太少了,所以很难写的有逻辑性,而这正是ets要考察的.
谢谢提醒
天道酬勤
shengboguo@yahoo.com

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
1197
注册时间
2005-1-27
精华
1
帖子
0
6
发表于 2005-3-21 16:41:29 |只看该作者
对了,还有,形成自己的思维习惯!
考场上如果遇到自己没有写过甚至没有写过提纲的题目的话,这个好的习惯就会帮你很多了.
而这个习惯就是靠你不断的对问题的琢磨中得到的.
限时是好事,但是不能因为这个忘记了思考,毕竟这个是最重要的!
我是一只菜鸟,怎么飞都飞不高~

申请申请。。。。。。
现有offer:
Uppsala University@Sweden
等待美国offer中!
2006.1.27 00:00 rej from MCDB@JHU

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
2980
注册时间
2005-3-2
精华
2
帖子
1
7
发表于 2005-3-21 17:15:00 |只看该作者
谢谢,这一点真的很重要!
加油
天道酬勤
shengboguo@yahoo.com

使用道具 举报

RE: Issue147 必认认真真回该 这是三月份的高频题,大家来看看吧,不该也行, [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
Issue147 必认认真真回该 这是三月份的高频题,大家来看看吧,不该也行,
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-257482-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部