ISSUE51 POOH JJ的分析很透彻,怎么写出来感觉就不一样了呢?

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

51,Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
----------------------------------------------------------

Currently, the issue how to bring up the children in an effective way is under enthusiastic discussion. Some critics who support the interest-inducing education, hold the opinion that the contemporary uniform education system suppress the potential of the students. However, in my point of view, it is more effective and practical to educate the students under a perfect education system.

To begin with, a question should firstly be proposed--what is the purpose of the education? That is, not only to fill the students with as much knowledge as possible, but also to teach them how to learn and to cultivate their ability, including the adaptability to the society, the capacity to deal with affairs in their everyday life, in their routine work and even the responsibility and ability to contribute to the society. They should not confine to the circle around themselves but participate in the external communities, which will be benefit for their cognition of competition, cooperation and leadership. In a word, education is contained of many details.

Only on the basis of the premise that the aim of the education is clearly defined can the efficiency be discussed. Is specifically designed education effective for the students? It is known to all that every child has its character, could the interest-inducing education achieve the goal that lists out above? Actually, the discipline of mathematics is disliked by a large number of students. Should the kind of students omit the study of mathematics just because they do not like it? Of course not. They are still required to learn it since mathematics is a must in their futuristic life, they cannot live a life without maths. Therefore, an effective education means not only to convey knowledge to the young generation, but also to teach them methods to deal with everyday affairs.   

Furthermore, it is apparently that the children lack the capacity to make it clear about what on earth interests them. As a young child, his sight about the world is limited, not to mention what is his favorite and what he wants to take up after he grows up. In this case, the students should better receive a well-round education, meanwhile, be induced to realize his interest.

Admittedly, there is no denying that the interest of the students should not be neglected since it is likely that they will contribute a lot to the society on the aspects that attract them. A famous example is that Bill Gates, who quit his Harvard University education, devoted to his favorite--computer and eventually found the Microsoft. Although he did not finish his education, nevertheless, his great interest led him to learn by himself and at last, his contribution to the realm of computer make a huge progress to the society. Thus, interest could give birth to outstanding specialists who can promote the civilization of the society.

To sum up, having made clear about the essence of education, we can come to the conclusion that specifically designed is not able to reach effective education. Generally speaking, a well-round education is more efficient for the students.  

感谢POOH JJ的深入剖析，但写起来却感觉对effective的分析还是太薄弱，请大家指点一哈子！

山涧风笛UID: 196557

Currently, the issue how to bring up the children in an effective way is under enthusiastic discussion. Some critics who support the interest-inducing education, hold the opinion that the contemporary uniform education system suppress the potential of the students. However, in my point of view, it is more effective and practical to educate the students under a perfect education system.

To begin with, a question should firstly be proposed--what is the purpose of the education? That is, not only to fill the students with as much knowledge as possible, but also to teach them how to learn and to cultivate their ability [B] for their future work[/B], including the adaptability to the society, the capacity to deal with affairs in their everyday [B]daily[/B] life, in their routine work and even the responsibility and ability to contribute to the society. 是不是还可以加上Cultivate them and teach them where and why a viewpoint is right or wrong.  teach them that they will continue to learn the rest of their lives.瞎说的 They should not confine to the circle around themselves but participate in the external communities, which will be benefit for their cognition of competition, cooperation and leadership. In a word, education is contained of many details.

Only on the basis of the premise that the aim of the education is clearly defined can the efficiency be discussed. Is specifically designed education effective for the students? It is known to all that every child has its character, could the interest-inducing education achieve the goal that lists out above? Actually, the discipline of mathematics is disliked by a large number of students. Should the kind of students omit the study of mathematics just because they do not like it? Of course not. They are still required to learn it since mathematics is a must in their futuristic life, they cannot live a life without maths. Therefore, an effective education means not only to convey knowledge to the young generation, but also to teach them methods to deal with everyday affairs.

Furthermore, it is apparently that the children lack the capacity to make it clear about what on earth interests them. As a young child, his sight about the world is limited, not to mention what is his favorite and what he wants to take up after he grows up. In this case, the students should better receive a well-round education, meanwhile, be induced to realize his interest.

Admittedly, there is no denying that the interest of the students should not be neglected since it is likely that they will contribute a lot to the society on the aspects that attract them. A famous example is that Bill Gates, who quit his Harvard University education, devoted to his favorite--computer and eventually found the Microsoft. Although he did not finish his education, nevertheless, his great interest led him to learn by himself and at last, his contribution to the realm of computer make a huge progress to the society. Thus, interest could give birth to outstanding specialists who can promote the civilization of the society.

To sum up, having made clear about the essence of education, we can come to the conclusion that specifically designed is not able to reach effective education. Generally speaking, a well-round education is more efficient for the students.


没时间了，要出去了，回头再看一哈子 ;)

山涧风笛UID: 196557

Currently, the issue how to bring up the children ［教育并不只是针对children说的吧？］in an effective way is under enthusiastic discussion. Some critics who support the interest-inducing education, hold the opinion that the contemporary uniform education system suppress the potential of the students. However, in my point of view, it is more effective and practical to educate the students under a perfect education system.

To begin with, a question should firstly be proposed--what is the purpose of the education? That is, not only to fill the students with as much knowledge as possible, but also to teach them how to learn and to cultivate their ability for their future work, including the adaptability to the society, the capacity to deal with affairs in their everyday daily life, in their routine work and even the responsibility and ability to contribute to the society. 是不是还可以加上Cultivate them and teach them where and why a viewpoint is right or wrong. teach them that they will continue to learn the rest of their lives.瞎说的  ;) They should not confine to the circle around themselves but participate in the external communities, which will be benefit for their cognition of competition, cooperation and leadership. In a word, education is contained of many details.

Only on the basis of the premise that the aim of the education is clearly defined can the efficiency be discussed. Is specifically designed education effective for the students? It is known to all that every child has its character, could the interest-inducing education achieve the goal that lists out above? Actually, the discipline of mathematics is disliked by a large number of students. ［这句有点突然］Should the kind of students omit the study of mathematics just because they do not like it? Of course not. They are still required to learn it since mathematics is a must in their futuristic life, they cannot live a life without maths. Therefore, an effective education means not only to convey knowledge to the young generation, but also to teach them methods to deal with everyday affairs. ［最后一句与例子似乎关联不大  :confused: ］

Furthermore, it is apparently that the children lack the capacity to make it clear about what on earth interests them. As a young child, his sight about the world is limited, not to mention what is his favorite and what he wants to take up after he grows up. In this case, the students should better receive a well-round education, meanwhile, be induced to realize his interest.

Admittedly, there is no denying that the interest of the students should not be neglected since it is likely that they will contribute a lot to the society on the aspects that attract them. A famous example is that Bill Gates, who quit his Harvard University education, devoted to his favorite--computer and eventually found the Microsoft. Although he did not finish his education, nevertheless, his great interest led him to learn by himself and at last, his contribution to the realm of computer make a huge progress to the society. Thus, interest could give birth to outstanding specialists who can promote the civilization of the society.

To sum up, having made clear about the essence of education, we can come to the conclusion that specifically designed is not able to reach effective education. Generally speaking, a well-round education is more efficient for the students.

总的来说不错！加油！

Education does not mean teaching people to know what they do not know ; it means teaching them to behave as they do not behave. John Ruskin, British art critic　教育不在于使人知其所未知，而在于按其所未行而行。英国艺术评论家 园斯金 J
You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives. ~Clay P. Bedford
再做个记号,回头再看

r0tUID: 202195

I traced your signature here and commented again. :p
In brief, this issue seems to be better deliberated. Some words work properly and examples hit the point.
However, the questions that I pointed out in your earlier issue still exists here. Your topic paragraph is irrelevant with your following paragraph. Let's analyze it in details.
You put down that "Some critics who support ...", yet in the following paragraph I could not find out any  different critics against your viewpoint. As I told you in the earlier post that every following paragraph should response the topic powerfully.
And "it is more effective and practical to educate the students under a perfect education system". What is "perfect" education?   This  word is too abstractive and ambiguous. This leads your viewpoint to an dubious one. Actually, I have no idea what you support here.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

谢谢r0t　受益非浅！以后开头要尽量包含全文的观点，用词应该更准确些，表述要更清楚些！
BTW: 能不能给我的结尾再提点意见? 每篇结尾的时候都很头疼啊！ :)

烦麻看一下刚写的ISSUE11 全球大学的开头合不合适?
十分感谢!

r0tUID: 202195

Once you complete the beggining paragraph, in the same time, you can finish the final paragraph with ease.  The final paragraph is virtually a counterpart of the topic paragraph because it couclude what you have said above, yet begining paragraph imply what you will say following.  What you should do is just alter some words and re-work the stences in your beggining paragraph.  

Take this issue again.

"To sum up, as long as we define that the very purpose of education is not only to teach skills and knowledge but to nourish one's spirit, to enlighten one's mind, as well as to supply our society with reasonable citizens, A sound general educational system will be established. As long as we help our children realize what their genuine interests and potential are, it is predictable through exploring the field in which they interest in their higher education, our children will contribute meaningfully to the improvements of society. Thus, in final analysis, it seems to me that a general education serves much more important instead of the specific designed one. "

You can see that I just concluded what you argued above in your issue and re-worked each topic sentence then simply put them together.

Hope this will help you.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

十分谢谢，真是高人哪！
受益匪浅！[B]金砖！[/B] [/SIZE]

sxleeUID: 200505

Currently, the issue how to bring up the children in an effective way is under enthusiastic discussion. Some critics, who support the interest-inducing education, hold the opinion that [the] contemporary uniform education system suppress[es] the potential of [the] students. However, in my point of view, it is more effective and practical to educate [the] students under a perfect education system.

To begin with, a question should firstly be proposed--what is the purpose of the education? That is, not only to fill the students with as much knowledge as possible, but also to teach them how to learn and to cultivate their ability, including the adaptability to the society, the capacity to deal with affairs in their everyday life, in their routine work and even the responsibility and ability to contribute to the society. They should not [be]confine[d] to the circle around themselves but participate in the external communities, which will be benefit[beneficial] for their cognition of competition, cooperation and leadership. In a word, education is contained of many details.

Only on the basis of the premise that the aim of the education is clearly defined can the efficiency be discussed. Is specifically designed education effective for the students? It is known to [us] all that every child has its character, could the interest-inducing education achieve the goal that lists[listed] [out] above? Actually, the discipline of mathematics is disliked[不好吧，这是及物动词] by a large number of students. Should the kind of students omit[neglect] the study of mathematics just because they do not like it? Of course not. They are still required to learn it since mathematics is a must in their futuristic[future] life[lives], they cannot live[lead] a life without maths. Therefore, an effective education means not only to convey knowledge to the young generation, but also to teach them methods to deal with everyday affairs.

Furthermore, it is apparently that the [most] children lack the capacity to make it clear about what on earth interests them. As a young child, his sight about the world is limited, not to mention what is his favorite[his favorite is] and what he wants to take up after he grows up. In this case, the students should better receive a well-round education, meanwhile, be induced to realize his interest.

Admittedly, there is no denying that the interest of [the] students should not be neglected since it is likely that they will contribute a lot to [the] society on the aspects that attract them[这句不好，不通啊，建议用简单句]. A famous example is that Bill Gates[不行吧], who quit[退学不是这么说哦] his Harvard University education, devoted to his favorite--computer and eventually found the Microsoft. Although he did not finish his education, nevertheless[去掉，与although矛盾], his great interest led him to learn by himself and at last, his contribution to the realm of computer make a huge progress to the society. Thus, interest could give birth to outstanding specialists who can promote the civilization of the society.

To sum up, having made clear about the essence of education, we can come to the conclusion that specifically designed[designing] is not able to reach effective education. Generally speaking, a well-round education is more efficient for the students.

感谢POOH JJ的深入剖析，但写起来却感觉对effective的分析还是太薄弱，请大家指点一哈子！
[the  不可乱用啊！！]
[总感觉用词怪怪的，句子要加强，我也一样的！！也许是我水平不够啊，只做参考！！]
[欢迎拍我的，我不怕的！！]