Issue212 还有不到一周就考了，居然还不能限时

GrowlywolfUID: 200584

Issue212 Behavior 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     未限时     553 words

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Issue 212  “If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.”

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There is a harmful belief held by some people that they can use all kinds of methods to take a goal if it is worthy.  Although a few persons who believe it have "successed", I still disagree this viewpoint.

Our society is a whole made up by every individual, and each person's action would influence others.  So there are a few foundational rules to stipulate people's behavior, such as loyalty, honesty, and so on.  Everyone must observer these rules, so that the whole society can run smoothly.  If somebody want to get a "worthy" goal with any means which may be bench of those rules, for instance to tell a lie, or to betray, he/her would injure others consequently.  Of course, the injured person can do with the former in the same way.  What one does to others will reflect to himself/herself sooner or later.  Then it is not hardly to image that the whole society would fall into a harmful situation, if those actions go on.  

It is especially true insofar as economics and politics.  In these domain, to prevent from occurrence of the situation above, government legislate a lot of strict laws.  However, there are still some persons attempt to take great profit with any methods in defiance of laws.  Some corporations sell inferior products to cheat the consumers.  Even though they can evade the punishment of government by hiding evidence, the injured consumers still can tell others not to buy the products of those corporations.  As a result, the corporations cannot sell goods any longer.  This is so-called "to go for wool and come home shorn".  Furthermore, in the political field, many politicians believe that it is justifiable to take a goal by fair means or foul.  But in fact, more and more politicians realize that it is of no positive effect.  From 17th to 20th centuries, several capitalistic countries had been playing hard to the under-developed country to gain the greatest profit: invading and plundering, waving the bloody shirt between different religions or nationalities, doing slave trade, etc.  And then these capitalistic countries were developed.  But they have mined in the developing countries.  Now there are so many global troubles, such as poverty, AIDS, terrorism, which are do harm to the developed countries, too.  

In the science research, the condition is different.  To attain a great discover, scientists can be at any cost.  However, it must also be limited by the ethics and law.  A few crazy scientists did experiments using live human bodies without any humanity in the past.  Even though they get some great results, we would still condemn them, because these results cost the others human rights.  

Perhaps the field where the idea is applicable is military.  Admittedly, the battlefield is not the place where human can consider moral and mercy. In order to gain victory, the generals can use any tricks, even sacrifice lots of their own soldiers' lives.  But to tell a truth, those generals must still think about the effects of their actions in future.

In sum, it is reasonable and necessary to make great efforts to take one's goal, but one must think over the possible results.  Although sometimes the wrong way to the goal is very attractive, we cannot take it, which is good to us, to others and to all.

victoriahui-831UID: 191036

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There is a harmful belief held by some people that they can use all kinds of methods to take a goal if it is worthy. Although a few persons who believe it have "successed",[语法错，建议Although a few people believe...你这句的意思我也不明白，表达得不太清楚] I still disagree this viewpoint.

Our society is a whole made up by every individual, and each person's action would influence others. So there are a few foundational rules to stipulate people's behavior, such as loyalty, honesty, and so on. Everyone must observer[？][obey?] these rules, so that the whole[为什么不是着换一种说法？总是whole]society can run smoothly. If somebody want to get a "worthy" goal with any means which may be bench of those rules, for instance to tell a lie, or to betray, he/her would injure others consequently. Of course, the injured person can[?]do with the former in the same way. What one does to others will reflect to himself/herself sooner or later. Then it is not hardly to image that the whole society would fall into a harmful situation,[circulation?] if those actions go on.

It is especially true insofar as economics and politics. In these domain, to prevent from occurrence of the situation above, government legislate a lot of strict laws. However, there are still some persons attempt to take great profit with any methods in defiance of laws. Some corporations sell inferior products to cheat the consumers. Even though they can evade the punishment of government by hiding evidence, the injured consumers still can tell others not to buy the products of those corporations. As a result, the corporations cannot sell goods any longer. This is so-called "to go for wool and come home shorn". Furthermore, in the political field, many politicians believe that it is justifiable to take a goal by fair[？不是不择手段吗?怎么会fair?] means or foul. But in fact, more and more politicians realize that it is of no positive effect. From 17th to 20th centuries, several capitalistic countries had been playing hard to the under-developed country to gain the greatest profit: invading and plundering, waving the bloody shirt between different religions or nationalities, doing slave trade, etc. And then these capitalistic countries were developed. But they have mined in the developing countries. Now there are so many global troubles, such as poverty, AIDS, terrorism, which are do[?] harm to the developed countries, too.[你是说这些问题是对发达国家的报复吗？例子阐述的有些不合逻辑，有些乱]

In the science research, the condition is different. To attain a great discover, scientists can be at any cost. However, it must also be limited by the ethics and law. A few crazy scientists did experiments using live human bodies without any humanity in the past. Even though they get some great results, we would still condemn them, because these results cost the others human rights. [不是说different吗？怎么和上面还一样？逻辑好乱]

Perhaps the field where the idea is applicable is military. Admittedly, the battlefield is not the place where human can consider moral and mercy. In order to gain victory, the generals can use any tricks, even sacrifice lots of their own soldiers' lives. But to tell a truth, those generals must still think about the effects of their actions in future.[你的中心不是说harmful吗？怎么又适用，而且这样不会让你的论证显得有力，我觉得是削弱。战争本身是正义的吗？是无害的吗？这个例子不用也罢]

In sum, it is reasonable and necessary to make great efforts to take one's goal, but one must think over the possible results. Although sometimes the wrong way to the goal is very attractive, we cannot take it, which is good to us, to others and to all.[不要在结尾出现原文中没有的内容，可以作为分论点]
[总体感觉是中心不明确，逻辑感不强，语言的变化性也有待加强]

smartyrUID: 169453

勇者 无惧！

GrowlywolfUID: 200584

不限时还写成这个破样子，真是无地自容啊。
帝国主义那个例子看来应该扩充另起一段，作为政治领域把它说清楚。
科学那个应该说清楚一点
军事那个本来准备一笔带过，表明偶思考全面滴，结果骑虎难下了。烦躁

猫猫624UID: 171232

There is a harmful belief held by some people that they can use all kinds of methods to take a goal if it is worthy. Although a few persons who believe it have "successed", I still disagree this viewpoint.开头不好

Our society is a whole made up by every individual, and each person's action would influence others. So there are a few foundational rules to stipulate people's behavior, such as loyalty, honesty, and so on. Everyone must observer these rules, so that the whole society can run smoothly. 到此为止文章才入题，此段前面都可以不要 If somebody want to get a "worthy" goal with any means which may be bench of those rules, for instance to tell a lie, or to betray, he/her would injure others consequently. Of course, the injured person can do with the former in the same way. What one does to others will reflect to himself/herself sooner or later. Then it is not hardly hardly 是否定意思 几乎不，前面加not,你想表达什么意思？to image that the whole society would fall into a harmful situation, if those actions go on.

It is especially true insofar as economics and politics. In these domain, to prevent from occurrence of the situation above, government legislate a lot of strict laws. However, there are still some persons attempt to take great profit with any methods in defiance of laws. Some corporations sell inferior products to cheat the consumers. Even though they can evade the punishment of government by hiding evidence, the injured consumers still can tell others not to buy the products of those corporations. As a result, the corporations cannot sell goods any longer. This is so-called "to go for wool and come home shorn". Furthermore, in the political field, many politicians believe that it is justifiable to take a goal by fair means or foul. But in fact, more and more politicians realize that it is of no positive effect. From 17th to 20th centuries, several capitalistic 帝国主义？给老美看不好吧 countries had been playing hard to the under-developed country to gain the greatest profit: invading and plundering, waving the bloody shirt 血衫?这是什么意思 between different religions or nationalities, doing slave trade, etc. And then these capitalistic countries were developed. But they have mined in the developing countries. Now there are so many global troubles, such as poverty, AIDS, terrorism, which are do harm to the developed countries, too. 这个例子要表达什么用意

In the science research, the condition is different. To attain a great discover, scientists can be at any cost. However, it must also be limited by the ethics and law. A few crazy scientists did experiments using live human bodies without any humanity in the past. Even though they get some great results, we would still condemn them, because these results cost the others human rights.

Perhaps the field where the idea is applicable is military. Admittedly, the battlefield is not the place where human can consider moral and mercy. In order to gain victory, the generals can use any tricks, even sacrifice lots of their own soldiers' lives. But to tell a truth, those generals must still think about the effects of their actions in future.

In sum, it is reasonable and necessary to make great efforts to take one's goal, but one must think over the possible results. Although sometimes the wrong way to the goal is very attractive, we cannot take it, which is good to us, to others and to all 既然是wrong way 为什么又. good to us, to others and to all
文章逻辑结构乱，语言也显贫乏，不能准确表达。建议每段开头句要写主题句。