Issue 138 同主题6 －－来拍我 我会狠狠报复的－－

天晴了UID: 201592

Issue138

------syllabus------
Agree  
prologue
B1  不犯错不可能
   1 discovery和progress 的复杂性和不可预见性决定要犯错
   2 人的认知局限性决定要犯错
B2  犯错是有必要的 有助于discovery progress
      1 犯错会打破固有的惯性 给DandP提供前提
   2 解决问题就是进步
B3  犯的错要值 有些错不值得犯 对于D和P来说不值 是阻碍
epilogue

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：1.5 hour  好郁闷啊 :（  524 words
从2005年2月24日19时05分到2005年2月24日20时30分
------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------

Discovery or progress, no matter striding or mincing, no matter for the whole society or a certain individual, accompanies with mistakes which occur not only inevitably but also necessarily for discovery or progress. Taking the two reasons in consideration, I fundamentally agree with the speaker that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.


Firstly, the aspiration of avoiding the patronages of mistakes is no more than a dream of human-beings. Undeniable, the road of discovery or progress is far from smooth and straight. The development, from the immense galaxy in cosmos to the tiny chip on a main board, are full of complexities and unpredictability which may lead to mistakes during the process/course. How can the chemists guarantee this on-going experiment for a new ingredient extraction will succeed without mistakes? How can the expert make sure the attempt of this economical system model fits for our country without misplay / blunder? It was SARS that roared fiercely across China during the first half year 2003, even till now can we not unveil the mask although time, energy, even life devoted. Moreover, as for human-beings, strong and intelligent they appear to be, are still captured and seized by limitation/constraint of itself. Cognition is a procedure which need continuous improvement and rectification. The cognition capability determined there will always be unfathomable matters or illusions misleading people through our eyes. Tomato, serving us everywhere all over the world as long as we enjoy Chips of KFC or Mac Donad, used to be wrongly regarded as toxic fruit. Ridiculous it is, it uncovers human-being’s intrinsic weakness and tie / fetter by themselves, which may result in mistakes. After all the world is not as simple as kinder garden and we are not as powerful and superior as God and superman, so the demand of zero-mistake is unrealistic.  

     
Secondly, mistake plays a critical role in the process of discovery or progress. It facilitates as a crucial precondition without which neither discovery nor progress can be achieved. Taken another "toxic fruit" for example, the fruit eaten by Eva in Eden. Without the incredible mistake, how can the succession of histories happen in Bible. Mistakes can break the deadly tranquility/serenity and brain-restraint inertia, and provide the preparation for a brand-new breakthrough. Furthermore, progress can be identified/deemed as solutions of problems which caused by mistakes. The Window operating system from Microsoft corporation  has never stopped the procedure of bug challenge – research and design -solution-update. Thanks to the bugs, otherwise we may still rely on the Window 32 or so. From the two perspectives, we can perceive and comprehend the necessity of giving birth to discovery or progress by mistakes.


Admittedly, "mistakes" should be worthy of its own. How to make discovery or progress at the least expense of mistake is what we have ever pursued. It calls for making mistakes as few as possible, and it permits no mistake for twice.  


In sum, only through smart mistakes can one accomplish discovery or progress, so as our society. Never dream of non-stop highway bus towards our terminals. Mistake proved to be a catalyst instead of an obstacle ultimately when correctly treated.   
   

还一句：考试时 comma后要空一格？跟word里面一样？

boancquUID: 165060

先立起，明天来打击你。

枫丹UID: 166492

作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：1.5 hour 好郁闷啊 :（ 524 words
从2005年2月24日19时05分到2005年2月24日20时30分
------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------

Discovery or progress, no matter striding or mincing, no matter for the whole society or a certain individual, accompanies with（ be accompanied with） mistakes which occur not only inevitably but also necessarily for discovery or progress. Taking the two reasons in consideration, I fundamentally agree with the speaker that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.


Firstly, the aspiration of avoiding the patronages of mistakes is no more than a dream of human-beings.(这个ts要specific ) Undeniable(是不是副词会好些？), the road of discovery or progress is far from smooth and straight. The development, from the immense galaxy in cosmos to the tiny chip on a main board, are full of complexities and unpredictability （这两个单词前后要一致）which may lead to mistakes during the process/course. How can the chemists guarantee this on-going experiment for a new ingredient extraction will succeed without mistakes? How can the expert make sure the attempt of this economical system model fits for our country without misplay / blunder? It was SARS that roared fiercely across China during the first half year 2003, even till now can we not unveil the mask although time, energy, even life devoted.（这个例子，不好，似乎只在说复杂性， 不太贴切。$哎！！昨天想那个例子，想的头都大了，今天就知道盯着人家的例子看：）） Moreover, as for human-beings, strong and intelligent they appear to be, are still captured and seized by limitation/constraint of itself.（少主语，这句太笼统了，你在assume , limitation 是在于认识的过程吗？如果是说清楚的好。） Cognition is a procedure which need continuous improvement and rectification. The cognition capability determined there will always be unfathomable matters or illusions misleading people through our eyes. Tomato, serving us everywhere all over the world as long as we enjoy Chips of KFC（ Kentucky fried chicken）or Mac Donad, used to be wrongly regarded as toxic fruit. Ridiculous it is, it uncovers human-being’s intrinsic weakness and tie / fetter by themselves, which may result in mistakes. After all the world is not as simple as kinder garden and we are not as powerful and superior as God and superman, so the demand of zero-mistake is unrealistic.
你这一段讲错误是不可避免的，似乎只是在证明由于客观原因，错误是难免的，完全没有照应到discover and progress,我个人不太赞同，这一点还有待讨论。

Secondly, mistake plays a critical role in the process of discovery or progress. It facilitates as a crucial precondition without which neither discovery nor progress can be achieved. Taken another "toxic fruit" for example, the fruit eaten by Eva in Eden. Without the incredible mistake, how can the succession of histories happen in Bible. （这只是个legend ,不好拿来做论据的）Mistakes can break the deadly tranquility/serenity and brain-restraint inertia, and provide the preparation for a brand-new breakthrough（错误是如何break inertia的呢？你没有说清楚啊， 可以说人们在错误中找到新的发现，）. Furthermore, progress can be identified/deemed as solutions of problems which caused by mistakes. The Window operating system from Microsoft corporation has never stopped the procedure of bug challenge – research and design -solution-update. Thanks to the bugs, otherwise we may still rely on the Window 32 or so. From the two perspectives, we can perceive and comprehend the necessity of giving birth to discovery or progress by mistakes.
(window operation system , 不错，恩。)

Admittedly, "mistakes" should be worthy of its own. How to make discovery or progress at the least expense of mistake is what we have ever pursued. It calls for making mistakes as few as possible, and it permits no mistake for twice.
哈哈，时间不够了吧？这个点和我的有些相似了。最小的代价，我怎么没想到。学习。

In sum, only through smart mistakes can one accomplish discovery or progress, so as our society. Never dream of non-stop highway bus towards our terminals. Mistake proved to be a catalyst instead of an obstacle ultimately when correctly treated.
catalyst的比喻不恰当吧？ catalyst一定是不可缺少的吗？较真了，呵呵。最后者三句太散了。再条理一下。 我自己不太敢写这样的论点，太绝对，感觉写好很困难。你的段段之间的时间划分好，有些关键地方一点就过，还不如不说。 一句话：让每句都清楚的表达你的中心，不知道这样想对不对？

天晴了UID: 201592

:)  琢磨一下 ：）

xuding_godUID: 179213

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：1.5 hour 好郁闷啊 :（ 524 words
从2005年2月24日19时05分到2005年2月24日20时30分
------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------

Discovery or progress, no matter striding or mincing, no matter for the whole society or a certain individual, accompanies with mistakes which occur not only inevitably but also necessarily for discovery or progress句子有问题，好象缺成分. Taking the two reasons in consideration, I fundamentally agree with the speaker that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.


Firstly, the aspiration of avoiding the patronages of mistakes is no more than a dream of human-beings. Undeniable, the road of discovery or progress is far from smooth and straight. The development, from the immense galaxy in cosmos to the tiny chip on a main board, are full of complexities and unpredictability which may lead to［cause］ mistakes during the process/course. How can the chemists guarantee this on-going experiment for a new ingredient extraction willwould be用虚拟语气要好些 succeed without mistakes? How can the expert make surethat the attempt of this economical system model fits for our country without misplay / blunder? It was SARS that roared fiercely across China during the first half year 2003, even till now can we not这里倒装有错 even now we can't unveil the mask although time, energy, even life devoted. Moreover, as for human-beings, strong and intelligent they appear to be, are still captured and seized by limitation/constraint of itself. Cognition is a procedure which need continuous improvement and rectification. The cognition capability determined there will always be unfathomable matters or illusions misleading people through our eyes. Tomato, serving us everywhere all over the world as long as we enjoy Chips of KFC or Mac Donad, used to be wrongly regarded as toxic fruit. Ridiculous it is, it uncovers human-being’s intrinsic weakness and tie / fetter by themselves, which may result in mistakes. After all the world is not as simple as kinder garden and we are not as powerful and superior as God and superman, so the demand of zero-mistake零错误??nonemistake is unrealistic.这段论述过于累赘了,我觉得很多很杂,给我一种在一句话上反复纠缠的感觉,说清楚就好,要不机考时一但第一段写太多后面时间就会很紧.例子比较简单


Secondly, mistake plays a critical role in the process of discovery or progress. It facilitates as a crucial preconditionthat without which neither discovery nor progress can be achieved. Taken another "toxic fruit" for example, the fruit eaten by Eva in Eden. Without the incredible mistake, how can the succession of histories happen in Bible. Mistakes can break the deadly tranquility/serenity and brain-restraint inertia, and provide the preparation for a brand-new breakthrough. Furthermore, progress can be identified/deemed as solutions of problems which caused by mistakes. The Window operating system from Microsoft corporation has never stopped the procedure of bug challenge – research and design -solution-update. Thanks to the bugs, otherwise we may still rely on the Window 32 or so. From the two perspectives, we can perceive and comprehend the necessity of giving birth to discovery or progress by mistakes.这段相对第一段就好很多了


Admittedly, "mistakes" should be worthy of its own. How to make discovery or progress at the least expense of mistake is what we have ever pursued. It calls for making mistakes as few as possible, and it permits no mistake for twice.太简单了,感觉就是提出了自己的TS而没有加以分析,不是太妥


In sum, only through smart mistakes can one accomplish discovery or progress, so as our society. Never dream of non-stop highway bus towards our terminals. Mistake proved to be a catalyst instead of an obstacle ultimately when correctly treated.

楼主的逻辑和思路很清楚,结构问题不大,但字数分配有点问题,特别是BODY部分,给人一种虎头蛇尾的感觉,要注意.整个论述还是很清晰,相你学习.例子很多,但我觉得还要精.加油!~~
也麻烦楼主看看我的吧,狠拍:https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=258943

Henrry_FFUID: 165187

Discovery or progress, no matter striding or mincing, no matter for the whole society or a certain individual, accompanies with(是用被动) mistakes which occur not only inevitably but also necessarily for discovery or progress. Taking the（these） two reasons in consideration, I fundamentally agree with the speaker that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.


Firstly, the aspiration of avoiding the patronages of mistakes is no more than a dream of human-beings. Undeniable, the road of discovery or progress is far from smooth and straight. The development, from the immense galaxy in cosmos to the tiny chip on a main board, are full of complexities and unpredictability which may lead to mistakes during the process/course. How can the chemists guarantee this on-going experiment for a new ingredient extraction will succeed without mistakes? How can the expert make sure the attempt of this economical system model fits for our country without misplay / blunder? It was SARS that roared fiercely across China during the first half year 2003, even till now can we not unveil the mask although time, energy, even life devoted. Moreover, as for human-beings, strong and intelligent they appear to be, are still captured and seized by limitation/constraint of itself. Cognition is a procedure which need continuous improvement and rectification. The cognition capability determined there will always be unfathomable matters or illusions misleading people through our eyes. Tomato, serving us everywhere all over the world as long as we enjoy Chips of KFC or Mac Donad, used to be wrongly regarded as toxic fruit. Ridiculous it is, it uncovers human-being’s intrinsic weakness and tie / fetter by themselves, which may result in mistakes. After all（，） the world is not as simple as kinder garden and we are not as powerful and superior as God and superman, so the demand of zero-mistake is unrealistic. （这段太长，看起来有点乱的感觉）


Secondly, mistake plays a critical role in the process of discovery or progress. It facilitates as a crucial precondition without which neither discovery nor progress can be achieved. Taken another "toxic fruit" for（as） example,（：） the fruit eaten by Eva in Eden. Without the incredible mistake, how can the succession of histories happen in Bible.（？） Mistakes can break the deadly tranquility/serenity and brain-restraint inertia, and provide the preparation for a brand-new breakthrough. Furthermore, progress can be identified/deemed as solutions of problems which caused by mistakes. The Window operating system from Microsoft corporation has never stopped the procedure of bug challenge – research and design -solution-update. Thanks to the bugs, otherwise we may still rely on the Window 32 or so. From the two perspectives, we can perceive and comprehend the necessity of giving birth to discovery or progress by mistakes.（这段写得不错，特别是微软的例子：）


Admittedly, "mistakes" should be worthy of its own. How to make discovery or progress at the least expense of mistake is what we have ever pursued. It calls for making mistakes as few as possible, and it permits no mistake for twice. （来不及还不如把这段去掉）


In sum, only through smart mistakes can one accomplish discovery or progress, so as our society. Never dream of non-stop highway bus towards our terminals. Mistake proved to be a catalyst instead of an obstacle ultimately when correctly treated.（整体除了结构上要注意外都写得很好，用词很丰富，要是是限时写成这样就肯定无忧了，多限时写！这样更能发现问题，加油：）

天晴了UID: 201592

最初由 Henrry_FF 发布
[B]Discovery or progress, no matter striding or mincing, no matter for the whole society or a certain individual, accompanies with(是用被动) mistakes which occur n..

以下省略...... [/B]

多谢啦 怎么拍你啊？～～你的链接呢  
头像是印象派的作品吗？  被P.S了吧 那么饱和！