ISSUE138 同主题 再次出山之昨！ 不过状态不好，大家发泄吧，但一定要留地址，我

sblbaslerUID: 175229

Issue138  第X篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：39分48秒     520 words
从2005年2月25日13时42分到2005年2月25日14时39分
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Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
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In the ear of high efficiency leading to the promotion of people's attention on the controversial word------- mistakes, there exists a pop belief that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress due to what the history has witnessed. Just logical, this argument may be, I, however, advocate that to some extent, mistakes do give us success of life, but hardly can anyone ensure our survival of success in terms of making a great amount of mistakes in nowadays.

First, the history witnessed a fact that the whole history of discovery is fraught with people who used erroneous assumptions and failed ideas as stepping atones to new ideas: Columbus thought he was finding a short route to India, but turned to be the "father" of Continent of America; John Kepler stumbled onto the idea of interplanetary gravity because of assumptions which were right for a wrong reason; Thomas Edison even knew 1800 ways not to build a light bulb besides a right way. All in the proceeding discussion reveal that mistakes only deserve an episode on the way to the success which releases us by forcing us to pause, to look around, and to continue on the road in a brighter future. Since we are not the God and Goddesses living in the Olympus Mountain, who even made tremendous mistakes, we should not be intimidated by mistakes-----the mother of success.

On the other hand, there is no conceding that one can make mistakes as many as the starts in the sky and the more he or she makes the better his or her life is. On the contrary " to err is wrong" makes sense in survival of the everyday world. The reality and pressure such as economic pressure, parental pressure, peer pressure, self-induced pressure and the like require us to accomplish a thousand tasks without a failure: We cannot imagine that an engineer whose buildings collapse would keep his or her position every long; We cannot imagine that a stock broker whose price of stock decreases would remain in the stock market for working; We cannot imagine that an officer of government who misguides the mass and results in a disaster, Minister of Ministry of Health of China was an exact case in point who was deposed owing to the widespread of SARS..... We dare a lot and not to imagine. Therefore, for bettering our life and remaining surviving in the society, we have to avoid errs rather than remain a dream of success by reminding of those great scientists.

To sum up, since both ideas in my proceeding discussion are reasonable, we cannot make a hasty generalization and discard one from the other as Hippolytus should not discard Aphrodite from Artemis. To maintain a better life in the society one should face the mistakes directly as well as avoid them carefully. As Thomas J. Watson, the founder of IBM, has ever claimed (I paraphrase ): “ the way to success is to rise your failure rate, but as few as possible.". Therefore not through mistakes but through our heart and mind in face of mistakes can there be discovery or progress.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

把链接发到同主题里面吧

sblbaslerUID: 175229

稍微改了一下。
已经发过去了，鬼鬼哥哥！

鬼谷子UID: 159645

In the ear of high efficiency leading to   【专才通才的语言哦，呵呵】the promotion of people's attention on the controversial word------- mistakes, there exists a pop   【用正式的语言，popular】belief that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress due to   【这里的due to应该去掉】what the history has witnessed. Just logical, this argument may be, I, however, advocate that to some extent, mistakes do give us success of life, but hardly can anyone ensure our survival in terms of making a great amount of mistakes in nowadays.  【这里的mistake似乎没有跟discoveries和progress联系上】

First, the history witnessed a fact that the whole history of discovery is fraught with people who used erroneous assumptions and failed ideas as stepping atones   【这个是动词】to new ideas:   【这个从论点直接到例子的衔接还是不错的，但是，这只是现象，不知道你后面的论述如何，继续看】Columbus thought he was finding a short route to India, but turned to be the "father" of Continent of America; John Kepler stumbled onto the idea of interplanetary gravity because of assumptions which were right for a wrong reason;   【这两个例子还是不错的】Thomas Edison even knew 1800 ways not to build a light bulb besides a right way.  【又是爱迪生啊。。。】 All in the proceeding discussion reveal that mistakes only deserve an episode on the way to the success which releases us by forcing us to pause, to look around, and to continue on the road in a brighter future.  【似乎从你的观点到例子一直是支持mistake的，这里的反对有点突然，需要更多的证明】 Since we are not the God and   【or】Goddesses living in the Olympus Mountain, who even made tremendous mistakes, we should not be intimidated by mistakes-----the mother of success.  【这样一说我更不懂了，到底是支持还是反对呢？】

On the other hand, there is no conceding that one can make mistakes as many as the starts in the sky and the more he or she makes the better his or her life is. On the contrary " to err is wrong" makes sense in survival of the everyday world.   【这样的论点就有点偏了，我们要论述的应该是对于发现和进步的作用，而不是日常生活】The reality and pressure such as economic pressure, parental pressure, peer pressure, self-induced pressure and the like require us to accomplish a thousand tasks without a failure:   【pressure和失败有关系吗？如果有，交代出来】We cannot imagine that an engineer whose buildings collapse would keep his or her position every long; We cannot imagine that a stock broker whose price of stock decreases would remain in the stock market for working; We cannot imagine that an officer of government who misguides the mass and results in a disaster, Minister of Ministry of Health of China was an exact case in point who was deposed owing to the widespread of SARS..... We dare a lot and not to imagine. Therefore, for bettering our life and remaining surviving in the society, we have to avoid errs rather than remain a dream of success by reminding of those great scientists.  【首先是跟发现和进步没关系，而且，感觉跟你说的pressure也没关系，这段写的不好】

To sum up, since both ideas in my proceeding discussion are reasonable, we cannot make a hasty generalization and discard one from the other as Hippolytus should not discard Aphrodite from Artemis. To maintain a better life in the society one should face the mistakes directly as well as avoid them carefully. Not only through mistakes but only through our heart and mind in face of mistakes can there be discovery or progress.

  【B1还是不错的，尤其是例子，B2就偏了。而且，论证的过程中很多地方还是要注意的。加油！】   

sblbaslerUID: 175229

关于第一段觉得mistakes only deserve 用的是有问题，态度反了，应该改成act as 。第一段就是赞同。
第二段，其实我的意思是discovery and progress 象征着一种成功，那么当今社会由于过大的压力不允许我们去过多的反错误。因此有了压力与日常生活-------- 鬼鬼哥哥认为有问题的地方。我觉得还是可以这样理解的吧，discovery and progress 不应仅局限在科技领域吧。

鬼谷子UID: 159645

可以引申到生活，但是，你说的生活似乎不是生活中的发现和进步，而是说的“survival”，例子也都是一些严重的错误，感觉离发现进步比较远。