Argument 4 大家帮我看看吧

purethingUID: 158691

题目
The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
'Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.'
正文
In this argument, the arguer concludes that Adams real estate firm is the best choice for people who have the inclination to sell homes. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer compares Adams with Fitch Realty, another leading company in this field. Meanwhile, the points out that Adams holds an absolute advantage over Fitch on its staff, capital and speed. However, the arguer neglects certain essential concerns. In my point of view, this argument is not affirmative due to several fatal drawbacks.

To begin with, the author falsely depends on a gratuitous assumption that all agents own the same working capability. The arguer claims that Adams Realty has 40 real estate agents while Fitch has only 25 and some of them work only part-time. However, it is possible that the 25 agents of Fitch have affluent experiences on dealing with estate affairs and are noted in this field, while the 40 full-time agents are less professional and their majors in university may be literature, computer science, arts, etc. In this situation, it is obviously that Fitch Realty can provide better service although it has fewer agents than Adams.

Furthermore, the arguer provides the evidence that Adam's revenue and the average price of its sales are higher than that of Fitch to substantiate the conclusion. The arguer neglects the dissimilarities between the sales of Adam and that of Fitch. Maybe most of the homes sold by Adam last year are located in the center of the city where the price is naturally higher than that of the edge of the city. On the contrary, although Fitch has successfully dealt with many sales last year, but most of these homes are located far away the downtown. As a result, Fitch's total revenue and the average price of homes are lower than that of Adam. In fact, Fitch is more capable of selling homes.

Last but not least, the arguer makes a groundless analogy between the speed for selling homes by Adams and Fitch. First, it is not affirmative to compare house sold ten years ago with the one sold last year. Selling a home last years ago is easier than ten years ago for such reasons as policy, environment, etc. Second, the location of the two homes is another consideration. It is possible that the home sold last year was located at a place with convenient transportation and feasible environment, while the homes sold a decade ago was in an old building of a mess block where robbery occurs frequently. Then it is much easier for the formal one to be sold and it has nothing much to do with the firms.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility in that the arguer has falsely compared the Adams with Fitch in many aspects. To make the argument more convincing and acceptable, the arguer would have to provide more reliable evidence concerning that the Adams is more capable of dealing with sales than Fitch.

skating_dollUID: 168003

The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.

'Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.'

正文

In this argument, the arguer concludes that Adams real estate firm is the bestwould be a better可能语气上感觉好一点吧 choice for people who have the inclination to sell homes. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer compares Adams with Fitch Realty, another leading company in this field. Meanwhile, thehe? points out that Adams holds an absolute advantage over Fitch on its staff, capital and speed. However, the arguer neglects certain essential concerns. In my point of view, this argument is not affirmative due to several fatal drawbacks这句话能不能和上一句整理一下合成一句，有点重复的感觉，开头简洁点应该没问题.

To begin with, the author falsely depends on a gratuitous assumption that all agents own the same working capability. The arguer claims that Adams Realty has 40 real estate agents while Fitch has only 25 and some of them work only part-time. However, it is possible that the 25 agents of Fitch have affluent experiences on dealing with estate affairs and are noted in this field, while the 40 full-time agents are less professional and their majors in university may be literature, computer science, arts, etc专业并不代表没有这方面能力吧，这个反例有点值得商榷. In this situation, it is obviously that Fitch Realty can provide better service although it has fewer agents than Adams.

Furthermore, the arguer provides the evidence that Adam's revenue and the average price of its sales are higher than that of Fitch to substantiate the conclusion. The arguer neglects the dissimilarities between the sales of Adam and that of Fitch. Maybe most of the homes sold by Adam last year are located in the center of the city where the price is naturally higher than that of the edge of the city. On the contrary, although Fitch has successfully dealt with many sales last year, but most of these homes are located far away the downtown. As a result, Fitch's total revenue and the average price of homes are lower than that of Adam. In fact, Fitch is more capable of selling homes跟上段结尾一样强烈肯定FR，但实际上论述的是Adams并不一定好过FR，但是作为逻辑上的反驳者，我想我们也没有证据证明FR一定就更好。我们应该证明论证不成立，而不是证明反命题成立。我们的立足点都是一切可能的漏洞，它可以存在，也可以不存在。可能事实上就是Adams比较好，只不过论者的说服力不够而已.

Last but not least, the arguer makes a groundless analogy between the speed for selling homes by Adams and Fitch. First, it is not affirmative to compare house sold ten years ago with the one sold last year. Selling a home last years ago is easier than ten years ago for such reasons as policy, environment, etc. Second, the location of the two homes is another consideration. It is possible that the home sold last year was located at a place with convenient transportation and feasible environment, while the homes sold a decade ago was in an old building of a mess block where robbery occurs frequently. Then it is much easier for the formalformer one to be sold and it has nothing much to do with the firms.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility in that the arguer has falsely compared the Adams with Fitch in many aspects. To make the argument more convincing and acceptable, the arguer would have to provide more reliable evidence concerning that the Adams is more capable of dealing with sales than Fitch.

个人感觉结构不错，最好再客观理性一点，不用使用obviously、certainly这样非常强调的词语，毕竟argument以理服人，讲清楚了自有评判，太明显主观色彩反而不太好吧。不过我水平有限，厚着脸皮评头论足不要介意……欢迎讨论。

purethingUID: 158691

你说的很有道理
的确不能说的太绝对了，我总是想把原命题完全批倒
应该客观一些
谢了！！！
今天太晚了，明天回拍~~