Issue87 第1篇 刚开始学写，快考试了，望帮忙！(在线等拍)

metchillgaoUID: 174869

Issue87  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：41分39秒     529 words
从2005年2月27日9时14分到2005年2月27日9时41分
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In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important discoveries.
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  Nowadays,we may here a number of  people say that the beginner is somewhat more important than the experts in creating discoveries in whichever field of inquiry,that may probably true,and I believe both the beginners and the expert are important in making discoveries.Considerable reasons are available here and the following ones I stated may be the majorities.
  To begin with,the beginners of many field hold more curiosities about the unknown and great courage to know new things,they will no doubtly rush forward instead of hesitating or even shrinking back to observe the possibilities of dangers just like some expert does.We may often watch movies,the heros or heroines who discovery magnificant things may not be the expert but some beginners or amateurers.As we all know,the movies arise from lives and may be more realistic than lives.So in the modern life,things will no doubtly display just like the movie acts,and facts are definitely so.Countless examples show that the beginners will be more successful than some so called experts.For instance,the tomato,once called "love apple"in American continent,in considered as a dangerous fruit in ancient 18th century,and may expert locally once alarm people to eat such fruit since they believe this fruit is full of poison.Finally,a young man who is too curiosity to control and eat one tomato,although he lay down in bed and waited to die,he was still alive.Since then,habitants here realized that tomatoes are edible and tastes wonderful.
  Furthermore,beginners are more enthusiastic and motived to creat their own creer,just because of this,they may be more brave than experts,and they dare to do anyting.With an ancient Chinese word:the first one who dare to eat crab is the winner.In the archeological field,the beginners are more motivated to explore the mysterious rain forests and places full of forefather's remains but without any human beings.In the science field,beginners will research his questions for study without any burdens and anxieties since they are not expert,they won't keep the load of success,they could do whatever they want without worry,which is exactly what the researchers need.As is known to us all,researcher must study his task without disturbing from the outer environments and what's more,they should abandan the anxieties of fame and failure.So in some place,we should place hope on beginners.
However,just like coin has two sides,experts are also very improtant in our study of inquiry.They own plentiful experiences.Practically speaking,although discovery need courages and curiosity,we also need the help and instructions of experts since they could favor us to avoid some evitable problems the beginners may encounter.Moreover,experts and the beginners could cooperate,either side could absorb the merits of the other ,by virtue of this could they creat better discoveries.
  In sum,not only the beginners are significant in creating discoveries but also the experts in some field of research.We should consider both of their merits and take advantage of them to creat more beautiful tomorrow for people.

nashaUID: 175030

找那个变色的工具先

metchillgaoUID: 174869

Nowadays,we may here a number of people say that the beginner is somewhat more important than the experts in creating discoveries in whichever field of inquiry,that may probably true,and I believe both the beginners and the expert are important in making discoveries.Considerable reasons are available here and the following ones I stated may be the majorities.

To begin with,the beginners of many field hold more curiosities about the unknown and great courage to know new things,they will no doubtly rush forward instead of hesitating or even shrinking back to observe the possibilities of dangers just like some expert does.We may often watch movies,the heros or heroines who discovery magnificant things may not be the expert but some beginners or amateurers.As we all know,the movies arise from lives and may be more realistic than lives.So in the modern life,things will no doubtly display just like the movie acts,and facts are definitely so.Countless examples show that the beginners will be more successful than some so called experts.For instance,the tomato,once called "love apple"in American continent,in considered as a dangerous fruit in ancient 18th century,and may expert locally once alarm people to eat such fruit since they believe this fruit is full of poison.Finally,a young man who is too curiosity to control and eat one tomato,although he lay down in bed and waited to die,he was still alive.Since then,habitants here realized that tomatoes are edible and tastes wonderful.

Furthermore,beginners are more enthusiastic and motived to creat their own creer,just because of this,they may be more brave than experts,and they dare to do anyting.With an ancient Chinese word:the first one who dare to eat crab is the winner.In the archeological field,the beginners are more motivated to explore the mysterious rain forests and places full of forefather's remains but without any human beings.In the science field,beginners will research his questions for study without any burdens and anxieties since they are not expert,they won't keep the load of success,they could do whatever they want without worry,which is exactly what the researchers need.As is known to us all,researcher must study his task without disturbing from the outer environments and what's more,they should abandan the anxieties of fame and failure.So in some place,we should place hope on beginners.

However,just like coin has two sides,experts are also very improtant in our study of inquiry.They own plentiful experiences.Practically speaking,although discovery need courages and curiosity,we also need the help and instructions of experts since they could favor us to avoid some evitable problems the beginners may encounter.Moreover,experts and the beginners could cooperate,either side could absorb the merits of the other ,by virtue of this could they creat better discoveries.

In sum,not only the beginners are significant in creating discoveries but also the experts in some field of research.We should consider both of their merits and take advantage of them to creat more beautiful tomorrow for people.


这样看就清楚了。

nashaUID: 175030

In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important discoveries.
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Nowadays,we may here a number of people改为some say that the beginner is somewhat more important than the experts in creating discoveries in whichever field of inquiry,that改为which,非限制性从句,好象是不能用that may少了be probably true,and改为however,表示转折，引出自己的观点 I believe both the beginners不要s and the expert are important in making discoveries.Considerable reasons are available here and the following ones I stated may be the majorities.最后一句感觉好象罗嗦了点，不要行不行

老大,要空一行,每段要空一行,切记To begin with,the beginners不要s of many field加s hold more curiosities改为the novice usually are curious about the unknown andtherefore have a great encouragr to exploit the new field great courage to know new things这里都不要了,they will no doubtly rush forward instead of hesitating or even shrinking back to observe the possibilities of dangers just like some expert does.We may often watch movies,the heros or heroines who discovery magnificant things may not be the expert but some beginners or amateurers用电视的例子,太抽象,要具体.As we all know,the movies arise from lives and may be more realistic than lives老大你学导演的?好象离题了.So in the modern life,things will no doubtly display just like the movie acts,and facts are definitely so这次确定你是学导演的了,好大的砖头,砸死你，别想你的电影了.呵呵.Countless examples show that the beginners will be more successful than some so called experts到底有什么countless,你一个都没有说出来.For instance看到希望了,the tomato,once called "love apple"in American continent,in去掉in considered as a dangerous fruit in ancient 18th century,and may expert locally once alarm people to eat such fruit since they believe this fruit is full of poison.Finally,a young man who is too curiosity to control and eat one tomato,although he lay down in bed and waited to die,he was still alive感觉西红柿的例子是不是有点不大切题,我想到的是螃蟹.Since then,habitants here realized that tomatoes are edible and tastes wonderful.

Furthermore,beginners are more enthusiastic and motived to creat their own creer,just because of this,they may be more brave than experts,and they dare to do anyting.With an ancient Chinese word:the first one who dare to eat crab is the winner.啊,你还正没把螃蟹给拉下,这次感觉你这段老在重复说新手勇敢,敢于尝试新事物In the archeological field,the beginners are more motivated to explore the mysterious rain forests and places full of forefather's remains but without any human beings.In the science field,beginners will research his questions for study without any burdens and anxieties since they are not expert,they won't keep the load of success,they could do whatever they want without worry,which is exactly what the researchers need.As is known to us all,researcher must study his task without disturbing from the outer environments and what's more,they should abandan the anxieties of fame and failure.So in some place,we should place hope on beginners.这段的主题有两个，新手有勇气尝试新事物,新手没有害怕失败的担忧,不过觉得用主题句明确写成TS,这样才清楚

However,just like coin has two sides据说这样说太老套,可以去掉，反正你已经说了However,表明你的转折的态度了,experts are also very improtant in our study of inquiry.They own plentiful experiences.Practically speaking,although discovery need courages and curiosity,we also need the help and instructions of experts since they could favor us to avoid some evitable problems the beginners may encounterencounter这个词用的很好,感觉有点G写作的用词风格了.Moreover,experts and the beginners could cooperate,either side could absorb the merits of the other ,by virtue of this could they creat better discoveries.这段用词不错,不过你还是重复强调新手有勇气,对专家的评价比较到位

In sum,not only the beginners去s are significant in creating discoveries but also the experts in some field of research equally important.We should consider both of their merits and take advantage of them to creat more beautiful tomorrow for people.到目前位置,感觉你是舞台剧导演,兼剧组餐饮部主任,西红柿,螃蟹

能写出来就不错了，再把例子充实一下,不好意思,第一次给别人改,水平有限.加油

metchillgaoUID: 174869

笑死了，谢谢你的砖头。另外更正一下，我不是学导演的，我是学海洋生物的。跟螃蟹确实有关。
知道了，我现在还很彷徨呢，写了几篇都感觉很痛苦，现在好了。有人指点就是好啊，谢谢谢谢。

metchillgaoUID: 174869

不好意思，我是刚敲完就发上来了，错别字都没检查。其实你给挑的毛病有很多我也能看出来，就是没改。谢谢