[color=#ff0000]Issue235 BT 高频！快来砸啊！

boancquUID: 165060

Issue235  BT 高频！快来砸啊！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分29秒     570 words

------题目------
Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty—whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution—is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force.
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When a company confronts the problem of choice of employer, one has professional skill and the other has high loyalty, which will be selected at last? It may be true that the former may serve the company better, but when concerning the problem of security, the company may inclined to choose the one with loyalty, from which we can see that loyalty is very crucial in human being's life. Although I concede that loyalty plays a destructive role in some aspects as said in the statement, in my opinion, however, loyalty also acts as a positive role, which is a basic demand for the humanity and relationship of people.

When concerning the loyalty's contribution to the society, I.e., destructive or positive, we sometimes should ask ourselves a series of questions? How does the loyalty mean? How to judge its effect? Is there any standard for the judgment? Generally, loyalty, as fidelity, means some kinds of devoted attachments or affiliations. Obviously, there is no standard to judge whether loyalty plays a positive role, and also, it hard to build such a standard. Even so, when we are forced to make a judgment the role the loyalty plays, we can evaluate it by whether its contribution to the human being's life, as well as to the society. Often under this situation loyalty plays in a positive way, but under another situation, loyalty may play a destructive role. Therefore, the judgment of loyalty's effect depends.

Admittedly, loyalty often plays in a destructive way-whether to friends, to company, to a sprit, to a leader, as well as to an institution. No body may doubt the loyalty of the members of fascism to Hitler plays a serious role in the history. Due to the loyalty, they made extremely cruel atrocity. Loyalty to a company also is detrimental as that in the example above. Because of the loyalty to a university, an employer may apt to enroll applicants from the same university in spite of other applicants are more suitable for the work to do. Aristotle, a great Greek scientist, since most people devoted too much loyalty to him, his heliocentric theory was widely agreed for several centuries until Copernicus, a colorful scientist, published his heliocentric theory. From the example of Aristotle, we can find that loyalty really impedes the development of society.

However, loyalty sometimes also plays in positive way. Take the relationship between people as an example, loyalty acts as a kind of glue. Loyalty is the fundamental factor in human being's relationship and interaction. And lack of loyalty, the normal relationship among people might not last for long, or never exist. When we are caught in troubles, the loyalty from family and friends serve as the greatest driving force encouraging us to face the problem which afflicts us. For a company, without loyalty, it is destined to fail in the modern time, an era of constantly social and technological changes. For a nation, without loyalty, the government can not control the nations effectively and it is easily to be undermined.

To sum up, the loyalty plays both positive and destructive role for human beings and society. Also, it is hard to give a direct judgment that, loyalty, under some conditions, only plays in a positive or a destructive way. To build a more flourishing society and to promise people a more comfortable life, human beings should learn to make good use of loyalty.

boancquUID: 165060

自己顶啊！

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue235 BT 高频！快来砸啊！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：44分29秒 570 words

------题目------
Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty—whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution—is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force.
------正文------
When a company confronts the problem of choice of employer,  【？什么意思?】 one has professional skill and the other has high loyalty, which will be selected at last? It may be true that the former may serve the company better, but when concerning the problem of security, the company may inclined to choose the one with loyalty, from which we can see that loyalty is very crucial in human being's life.   【这个例子不是很好，或者说，你交代的不是很好。毕竟，不可能这么绝对的两分法的，要么忠诚要么有技术。如果两者都有呢？】Although I concede that loyalty plays a destructive role in some aspects as said in the statement, in my opinion, however, loyalty also acts as a positive role, which is a basic demand for the humanity and relationship of people.  【用一个例子来引出观点的想法很好，论述上面更仔细一点就好了】

When concerning the loyalty's contribution to the society, I.e., destructive or positive, we sometimes should ask ourselves a series of questions? How   【what】does the loyalty mean? How to judge its effect? Is there any standard for the judgment? Generally, loyalty, as fidelity, means some kinds of devoted attachments or affiliations. Obviously, there is no standard to judge whether loyalty plays a positive role,   【怎么就obvious了呢？】and also, it   【is】hard to build such a standard. Even so, when we are forced to make a judgment the role the loyalty plays, we can evaluate it by whether  【？想说what is？】 its contribution to the human being's life, as well as to the society. Often under this situation loyalty plays in a positive way, but under another situation, loyalty may play a destructive role. Therefore, the judgment of loyalty's effect depends.  【整段给我的感觉就是，含糊，vague，不具体，不够清楚】

Admittedly, loyalty often plays in a destructive way-whether to friends, to company, to a sprit  【spirit？但是，spirit这里你想指什么？跟这些人能够并列吗？】, to a leader, as well as to an institution. No body may doubt the loyalty of the members of fascism to Hitler plays a serious   【含糊，好还是坏？】role in the history. Due to the loyalty, they made extremely cruel atrocity.   【含糊，忠诚如何导致暴行的？说清楚】Loyalty to a company also is detrimental as that in the example above. Because of the loyalty to a university, an employer may apt to enroll applicants from the same university in spite of other applicants are more suitable for the work to do.   【这里如果说受贿才合适，说是因为忠诚，牵强了点】Aristotle, a great Greek scientist, since most people devoted too much loyalty to him, his heliocentric   【三个问题，首先，这里你想用的词应该是geocentric吧？其次，地心说是Ptolemy 的理论。最后，这个不能算是忠诚吧，感觉是盲从，对权威的迷信】theory was widely agreed for several centuries until Copernicus, a colorful   【？】scientist, published his heliocentric theory. From the example of Aristotle, we can find that loyalty really impedes the development of society.  【还是含糊，没说到点上】

However, loyalty sometimes also plays in positive way. Take the relationship between people as an example, loyalty acts as a kind of glue. Loyalty is the fundamental factor in human being's relationship and interaction. And lack of loyalty,   【病句】the normal relationship among people might not last for long, or never exist. When we are caught in troubles, the loyalty from family and friends serve as the greatest driving force encouraging us to face the problem which afflicts us.   【忠诚做为动力？我觉得需要更多的证明才行】For a company, without loyalty, it is destined to fail in the modern time, an era of constantly social and technological changes.   【又是含糊，谁的忠诚？员工的？老板的？公司对于社会国家的？】For a nation, without loyalty, the government can not control the nations effectively and it is easily to be undermined.

To sum up, the loyalty plays both positive and destructive role for human beings and society. Also, it is hard to give a direct judgment that, loyalty, under some conditions, only plays in a positive or a destructive way. To build a more flourishing society and to promise people a more comfortable life, human beings should learn to make good use of loyalty.

   【我觉得你的主要问题在于对于问题的分析上面，表达的很含糊，不够清楚，不够深入，不够具体。所以让人感觉你的论证没有力度。而且，似乎是一些点的罗列，而没有形成线，聚成团。加油！】   

boancquUID: 165060

谢谢鬼兄！

anthraxUID: 176473

When a company confronts the problem of choice of employer, one has professional skill and the other has high loyalty, which will be selected at last? It may be true that the former may serve（contribute more） the company better, but when concerning the problem of security, the company may inclined to choose the one with loyalty, from which we can see that loyalty is very crucial in human being's life. Although I concede that loyalty plays a destructive role in some aspects as said(mentioned) in the statement, in my opinion, however, loyalty also acts as a positive role, which is a basic demand for the humanity and relationship of people.

When concerning the loyalty's contribution to the society, I.e., destructive or positive, we sometimes should ask ourselves a series of questions? How does the loyalty mean? How to judge its effect? Is there any standard for the judgment?(要定义loyality的话太冗长了，应该简单简化一些，也在你的topic sentence里面说明白，否则感觉结构不清晰) Generally, loyalty, as fidelity, means some kinds of devoted attachments or affiliations. Obviously, there is no standard to judge whether loyalty plays a positive role, and also, it hard to build such a standard. Even so, when we are forced to make a judgment the role the loyalty plays, we can evaluate it by whether its contribution to the human being's life, as well as to the society.（public good或其他的说法） Often under this situation loyalty plays in a positive way, but under another situation, loyalty may play a destructive role. Therefore, the judgment of loyalty's effect depends.（建议举个反例，例如没有了Loyality会怎么样）

Admittedly, loyalty often plays in a destructive way-whether to friends, to company, to a sprit, to a leader, as well as to an institution. No body may doubt the loyalty of the members of fascism to Hitler plays a serious role in the history. Due to the loyalty, they made extremely cruel atrocity. Loyalty to a company also is detrimental as that in the example above. Because of the loyalty to a university, an employer may apt to enroll applicants from the same university in spite of other applicants are more suitable for the work to do. （把enroll改称recruit）Aristotle, a great Greek scientist, since most people devoted too much loyalty to him, his heliocentric theory was widely agreed for several centuries until Copernicus, a colorful scientist, published his heliocentric theory. From the example of Aristotle, we can find that loyalty really impedes the development of society.(绝对化语句，用一些限定词sometimes, under certain circumstance之类的)

However, loyalty sometimes also plays in positive way.（中间怎么又多出来一段说不好的地方？感觉结构混乱了一点，好处和坏处要界限分明一点。） Take the relationship between people as an example, loyalty acts as a kind of glue. Loyalty is the fundamental factor in human being's relationship and interaction. And lack of loyalty, the normal relationship among people might not last for long, or never exist. When we are caught in troubles, the loyalty from family and friends serve as the greatest driving force encouraging us to face the problem which afflicts us. For a company, without loyalty, it is destined to fail in the modern time, an era of constantly social and technological changes. （这个同位语出彩，怎么有点像范文的？再换一下？ societal refromation and technological innovation）For a nation, without loyalty, the government can not control the nations effectively and it is easily to be undermined.

To sum up, the loyalty plays both positive and destructive role for human beings and society. Also, it is hard to give a direct judgment that, loyalty, under some conditions, only plays in a positive or a destructive way. To build a more flourishing society and to promise people a more comfortable life, human beings should learn to make good use of loyalty.(结论还是一边倒了，要如何避免loyality的负面作用？结尾的句子尽量能够再出彩一点。)