ARGU1欢迎大家拍砖，互拍

cubbyhouseUID: 185662

The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's

Way, a chain of stores selling health food and health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where

residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore

build our next new store in Plainsxille, which has many such residents.

Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are

at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due

to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and

aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of

customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness

for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early

age."

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The arguer concludes that a new store should be built in Plainsville for the

reason that there are many residents who are highly concerned with leading healthy

lives. To justify the conclusion, the arguer points out that previous experience

has shown the stores are most profitable in these areas where residents are more

concerned with health. What's more, the report from the merchants, the local club

and even school shows the requirment for health related products.However, the

argument relies on several unsubstantiated assumptions as it stands.

First of all, the arguer assumes that the report from the merchants that sales of

running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs shows that the local

residents are likely to buy health-related products. However, there is no evidence

to substantiate the assumption. Perhaps there always be athelic competetions in

Plainsville, or perhaps in Plainsville there are many factories to produce

high-quality running shoes and exercise clothing.Moreover,it is possible that the

price of these products is especially low. Without ruling out these possibilities

the arguer cannot justifiably conclude residents in Plainsville would be likely to

but health related products.

Additionally, according to the vague statistical evidence from the local health

club the arguer claims that the residents in Plainsville are concerned with their

health. However, the arguer doesnot provide the exact number of the members of the

club and the number of people who attend the weight training and aerobics classes.
It is possible that there were only very few people, might only ten persons, to go

to the club five years ago. Yet now there are 20 persons to train in the club and

attend their classes. What's more, perhaps there are only 10 persons in each

training class, so the classes are always full. To the extent that this is the

case the author can not convince us that the local residents are concerned with

their health.

Moreover, in claiming that the schoolchildren are required to participate in a

"fitness for life" program the arguer asserts that the children would buy the

healthy products for their whole life. However, the arguer provides no evidence to

convince us that this is the case. It is possible that schoolchildren are so

concentrated by their classes and lessons that they have no time and no energy to

be intrested in healthy products. To the extent that this is the case, the arguer

cannot justifiably conclude the schoolchildren would be the potential customers of

the healthy products.

Finally, the wholly argument is based on the assumption that the local people who

concerned with health would buy the store's products. Absolutely this is not

necessarily the truth. As the argument mentioned, in Plainsville there might be

many stores which have health-related products and healthy foods. If they open a

new store in Plainsville they might face to competetion with many merchants which

might cause less or even no benefits.

In conclusion, the auguer should take into account the posibilities mentioned

above. To better assess the argument the author should provide evidence that the

local residents are concerned with their health, and more important the author

should convince us the store is competitive in the local market.

cubbyhouseUID: 185662

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deserteagleUID: 201968

总的说来，攻击了不少错误
对于30分钟来说已经够了
还有其他的错误可以攻击，比如health food
还有个建议就是经常换换句型，比如说第3段和第4段的结尾，都用了to the extent that this 十
the case....
只是一家之言：）