给我意见吧，不日就要上场了！

yevonUID: 201605

Issue51  第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分7秒     453 words
从2005年2月30日8时39分到2005年2月30日9时45分
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Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
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What is effective education? This question has been asked for thousands years since  Confoucius began his class for commn citizens, since Plato started his Plato College, since every educator devoted to the education. As the speaker, education is effective when it meet the indibiduals needs of each student. However, in my view, though it is vital to meet the individual needs and interests, the effective education is instilling integral value system as well as training professial skill.

Adimittly, meeting the individual needs and interests is vital for educator as well as the sutudent. Students are objectives to be served, and their needs are the direction of the education. Just as a famous and respected educator Duwei said (and I paraphase) "students are anything, and their needs are the needs of the education." This illustrates the points that education should include the studnets' needs in large extent. And as the consumer of the education, students also have the rights to get they wanted.

However, when it comes to the effective education, educators shoud consider more factors rather than studnets needs and interests. After all, the education are the public action it is so difficulty to meet every student's needs and interests. In the school, I mean the school education, every studnet has his or her own distinct needs and interests, and therefore it is out of the ability of the educator of the school. Furthermore, usually students are vague for their own needs and interests. Educator, as the director of the young people, know well what will benfit for the students' futhure. Hence, as to the effective education, educator should take other into account.

The effective education should include the goal to bulid studnets' integral presonality is the goal of the education. Facing the improving socity wiht high speed, studnets could be sucessful with the intergral presonality. With the indenpent personality, students could deel with different condinton comeing for them fluently and effective. On the other hand, we often are informed that some criminal with high telechnology. In some extent, it is failure of the eduaction for a well-educated student without the basic personlity. And it also bring the education the important goal to buid student the intertal personality.

Lving in the reality, students required to be competent worker after the education. It also is the goal of the mondern educatin. To run the socity fluently, the further citizens must to hold the skill to live to thrive the socity. Hence it is another goal of the effective education.

To sum up, although the speaker's is reasonable in some sense, the assersation overlook some other factors in education. The effective education should be with the goal to instill students integral value system as well as train professional skill.

yevonUID: 201605

在线求砖！

yevonUID: 201605

怎么沉的这么快，谁能帮我改改啊！

____UID: 186122

good luck~

x_yuhengUID: 167913

就看了第一段
晕~~
楼主的语言功底有待加强~~

yevonUID: 201605

如此不堪吗？可否帮我具体指出呢？马上就要面对了，希望还能有所改变。谢谢了！

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
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What is effective education? This question has been asked for thousands years since Confoucius began his class for commn citizens, since Plato started his Plato College, since every educator devoted to the education.这么连着用since，好么？ As the speaker, education is effective when it meet the indibiduals needs of each student. However, in my view, though it is vital to meet the individual needs and interests, the effective education is instilling integral value system as well as training professialprofessional？ skill.

Adimittly Admittedly这不是笔误吧？, meeting the individual needs and interests is vital for educator as well as the sutudent. Students are objectives to be served, and their needs are the direction of the education. Just as a famous and respected educator Duwei said (and I paraphase) "students are anything, and their needs are the needs of the education." This illustrates the points that education should include the studnets' needs in large extent. And as the consumer of the education, students also have the rights to get they wanted. 感觉中国味多了点

However, when it comes to the effective education, educators shoud consider more factors rather than studnets needs and interests. After all, the education are the public action it is so difficulty to meet every student's needs and interests. In the school, I mean the school education, every studnet has his or her own distinct needs and interests, and therefore it is out of the ability of the educator of the school. Furthermore, usually students are vague for their own needs and interests. Educator, as the director of the young people, know well what will benfit for the students' futhure. Hence, as to the effective education, educator should take other into account.

The effective education should include the goal to bulid studnets' integral presonality is the goal of the education. Facing the improving socity wiht high speed, studnets could be sucessful with the intergral presonality. With the indenpent personality, students could deel with different condinton comeing for them fluently and effective. On the other hand, we often are informed that some criminal with high telechnology. In some extent, it is failure of the eduaction for a well-educated student without the basic personlity. And it also bring the education the important goal to buid student the intertal personality.

Lving in the reality, students required to be competent worker after the education. It also is the goal of the mondern educatin. To run the socity fluently, the further citizens 换个词比较好。而且，为什么一定是未来的，大学生已成年了 :p must to hold the skill to live to thrive the socity. Hence it is another goal of the effective education.

To sum up, although the speaker's is reasonable in some sense, the assersation overlook some other factors in education. The effective education should be with the goal to instill students integral value system as well as train professional skill.

限时能写成这样已不错了！在用词及语句上还要加强。加油！

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

发贴格式也不对，改一下吧！
BLESS~~~

yevonUID: 201605

真的很感谢！是对我的第一篇修改！我是菜鸟，应该是什么样的格式呢？