issue10 同主题来报道，拍必回！

Mars3000UID: 198477

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

[B]my position:在保护文化传统这一方面，政府应对城市和乡村给予同样的财政支持。
B1，文化传统既发源于城市也存在于乡村
B2，当今社会，无论在城市还是在农村，传统文化都受到了极大的威胁
B3，因此，为了保持文化传统，对城市和乡村均给予财政上的支持是必要的，进而提出一系列的保护措施。
结论：必须对城市和乡村均给予充分的关注与财政支持，单独关注任何一方对于问题的解决都是于事无补甚至背道而驰的。[/B]

In an epoch with globalization coming into nearly every corn of our society, bringing thousands of skyscrapers, colorful Hollywood movies, and completely different values from the past, traditions of culture, whether in the metropolis New York, or in a small village of Florida, is under threat in a real for the first time. In this case, governments, which play a significant role in changing this dangerous trend, must provide sufficient financial support to both urban areas and rural countries.

First of all, I hold this argument based on the fact that not only do traditional cultures exist in cities, but also live in small villages, both of them needing much attention. In every country of this world, its cultural traditions lie in main cities, as well as rural areas. Take some places of interest, from which people can feel the inheritance of a culture, for example. In China, when come to the Forbidden City in Beijing, the second largest city ,or to the Temple of Kongzi, a place to memorize the most famous thinker in Chinese history, in a city of Shandong province, people can strongly feel the impression of traditional culture, the reverence to the empire, the faith on justice, the emphasize over the duty of society. What is inherited in big cities consists of a indispensable part of Chinese cultural traditions. Nevertheless, in some rural countries of china, people still have access to the elites of cultural conventions. For instance, only a small Mongolian camp in a remote village contains so much information about cultural traditions, such as people's apparels, typical food and their customs, that can we comprehend what the nation generally could be by inquiring the lives there. Obviously, villages are also a fortune of tradition culture.


Moreover, neither in large cities or in small villages, traditions of culture is seriously threatened in modern society. On one hand, with the globalization carried on further, major cities are influenced first and most, leading to a homogeniety of all the cities, which is fetal to cultural traditions .As doctor Liu, the head of sociology in my university, researching the effect of globalization to cultural traditions for many years, said(and I paraphrased ),"Nowadays, for the reason of globalization, cultural traditions in big cities is being destroyed, which would disappear in several years if no steps taken to stop it." A serious condition of preserving conventions in large cities could be concluded from what he said. On the other hand, the conditions in rural villages are not optimistic either. As a series of new technology become available in countries, more and more residents there are inclined to get rid of their conventional lives, desiring a new style of life which can bring them convenience. Fewer young couples choose the traditional wedding mode is a good example. Thus we can draw a conclusion that cultural convention in both cities and countries are deadly saved.

In order to save these traditions, financial support of governments, without doubt, is indispensable either to urban areas or that in countries. In a main city, it is necessary to finance a future design of its development, to maintain its own style and avoid simply copying from other cities. Besides, some expenditure must be made to protect old buildings and places of interest in danger, since they are carriers of traditional cultures. Money invested in villages is crucial as well. People in villages should be encouraged to remain their convention, and given some compensation for the inconvenience along with. In addition, when a village is explored for tourism, the government has to come out enough preparation to prevent any potential damage to conventional culture, which certainly costs a large amount of money. Obviously and explicitly, to both cities and countries, financial support is necessary for the preservation of cultural traditions.


In sum, from what has been stated above, we can draw a conclusion that both major cities and rural areas need great attention on preserving cultural traditions, and what is also or even more important lies in being given enough finacial support. Simply focusing in either of them rather than both, could be harmful, and would go further away from our aim.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
-----------------------------
my position:在保护文化传统这一方面，政府应对城市和乡村给予同样的财政支持。
B1，文化传统既发源于城市也存在于乡村
B2，当今社会，无论在城市还是在农村，传统文化都受到了极大的威胁这个观点好！
B3，因此，为了保持文化传统，对城市和乡村均给予财政上的支持是必要的，进而提出一系列的保护措施。
结论：必须对城市和乡村均给予充分的关注与财政支持，单独关注任何一方对于问题的解决都是于事无补甚至背道而驰的。
提纲8错

In an epoch with golobalization coming into nearly every corn 打错了吧corner of our society,bringing thounds of skyscrapers,colorful Hollywood movies,and completely different values from the past,traditions of culture,whether in the metropolis New York, or in a small village of Florida,is under threat in a real for the first time.In this case,goverments,which play a significant role in changing this dangerous trend,must provide sufficient financial support to both urban areas and rural countries.

First of all,I hold this argument based on the fact that not only do traditonal cultures exist in cities,but also live in small vilages, village小的笔误both of them needing much attention.In every country of this world,its cultural traditions lie in main cities,as well as rural areas.Take some places of interest,from which people can feel the inheritance of a cultrue,for example.In China,when come to the Frobidden City in Beijing,the second largest city ,紫禁城是第二大？造成误解 or to the Temple of Kongzi 用这个好些吧Confucius,a place to memorize the most famous thinker in Chinese history,in a city of Shangdong province,people can strongly feel the impression of traditional culture,the reverence to the empire,the faith on justice,the emphasize over the duty of society.What is inherited in big cities consists of a indispensable part of Chinese cultural traditions. Nevertheless, in some rural countries of china,people still have access to the elites of cultural convetions.For instance,only a small Mongolian camp in a remote village contains so much information about cultural traditions,such as people's apparels,typical food and their constoms,that can we comprehend what the nation generally could be by inquring the lives there.Obviously,villages are also a fortune of tradition culture.

Moreover,neither in large cities or in small villages,traditons of culture is seriously threatened in modern society.On one hand,with the globalization carried on further,major cities are influnced first and most,leading to a homgeneity of all the cities,which is fetal to cultural traditons .As doctor Liu,the head of sociology in my university,researching the effect of globalization to cultural traditons for many years,said(and i paraphrazed),"Nowadays, for the reason of globalization,cultural tradtitions in big cities is being destroyed,which would disappear in several years if no steps taken to stop it."A serious condition of perserving conventions in large cities could be concuded from what he said.On the other hand,the conditons in rurual villages are not optimistic either.As a series of new technology become available in countries,more and more residents there are inclined to get rid of their conventional lives,desiring a new style of life which can bring them convenience.Fewer young couples choose the traditional wedding mode is a good example.Thus we can draw a conclusion that cultural convention in both cities and countries are deadly saved.

In order to save these tradtions,financial support of goverments,without dbout,is indispensable either to urban ereas or that in countries.In a main city,it is necessary to finance a future design of its development,to maintain its own style and avoid simply copying from other cities.Besides,some expenditrue must be made to protect old buildings and places of interest in danger,since they are carriers of traditional cultures. Money invested in villages is crucial as well.People in villages should be encouraged to remain their convention,and given some compesation for the unconvenience along with.In addtion,when a village is explored for tourism,the goverment has to come out enough preparation to prevent any potential damage to conventional culture,which certainly costs a large amount of money.Obviously and explicitly,to both cities and countries,financial spport is necessary for the preservation of cultural traditons.

In sum,from what has been stated above,we can draw a conclusion that both major cities and rural areas need great attention on preserving cultural traditions,and what is also or even more important lies in being given enough fanacial support.Simply focousing in either of them rather than both,could be harmful,and would go further away from our aim.

没看完，有点事，一会儿回来再学习 :p
再回来看时，版主都赏光来拍了，一起学习一下了！ ;)

boyjimUID: 125249

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

my position:在保护文化传统这一方面，政府应对城市和乡村给予同样的财政支持。
B1，文化传统既发源于城市也存在于乡村
B2，当今社会，无论在城市还是在农村，传统文化都受到了极大的威胁
B3，因此，为了保持文化传统，对城市和乡村均给予财政上的支持是必要的，进而提出一系列的保护措施。
结论：必须对城市和乡村均给予充分的关注与财政支持，单独关注任何一方对于问题的解决都是于事无补甚至背道而驰的。 [提纲列得不错]

In an epoch [excellent!] with golobalization coming into nearly every corn [er] of our society,bringing thounds [拼写~] of skyscrapers,colorful [现在的电影都是彩色的~建议换词] Hollywood movies,and completely different [diverse/distinctive] values from the past,traditions of culture,whether in the metropolis New York, or in a small village of [in] Florida,is under threat in a real for the first time [句子不错！但是问题来了~出现了很大习惯问题：头重脚轻~建议谓语和宾语可以提前~而且前面那么有气势~到了后面反而其实削弱了~读得也不是很明白] .In this case,goverments,which play a significant role in changing [应该是拯救！用salvage 还可以作出一个比喻！自己尝试一下] this dangerous trend,must provide sufficient financial support to both urban areas and rural countries.

First of all,I hold this argument based on the fact that not only do traditonal cultures exist in cities,but also live in small vilages,both of them needing much attention [不错！用了一个倒装句] .In every country of this world [of this world废话~] ,its cultural traditions lie in main cities,as well as rural areas.Take some places of interest,from which people can feel the inheritance of a cultrue,for example.In China,when come to the Frobidden City in Beijing,the second largest city [这个表达有点累赘~而且有错误~你指代的是北京还是紫禁城？] ,or to the Temple of Kongzi,a place to memorize the most famous thinker in Chinese history,in a city of Shangdong [shandong] province,people can strongly feel the [same] impression of traditional culture,the reverence to the empire,the faith on justice,the emphasize over the duty of society [不错~气势来了] .What is inherited in big cities consists of a indispensable part of Chinese cultural traditions [自己检查语法] .Nevertheless, in some rural countries of china,people still have access to the elites of cultural convetions.For instance,only [only 用得不好] a small Mongolian camp in a remote village contains so much information about cultural traditions,such as people's apparels,typical food and their constoms,that can we comprehend what the nation generally could be by inquring the lives there.Obviously,villages are also a fortune of tradition culture. [你的中文的骨架和写出来的有点出入~没有做到对比！建议看看追星剑特训的比较级的那一节~需要详尽的分析]


Moreover [和上一段有递进的关系么？看不出来] ,neither in large cities or in small villages,traditons of culture is seriously threatened in modern society.On one hand,with the globalization carried on further,major cities are influnced [单词拼写] first and most,leading to a homgeneity [不错！我以前喜欢用assmilation这个也可以] of all the cities,which is fetal [？] to cultural traditons .As doctor Liu,the head of sociology in my university,researching the effect of globalization to cultural traditons for many years,said(and i paraphrazed),"Nowadays, for the reason of globalization,cultural tradtitions in big cities is being destroyed,which would disappear in several years if no steps taken to stop it." [既然是要引用！就要把这句话写得漂亮点~要把最出彩的语句送个这个说话的人！] A serious condition of perserving conventions in large cities could be concuded from what he said.On the other hand,the conditons in rurual villages are not optimistic either.As a series of new technology become available in countries,more and more residents there are inclined to get rid of their conventional lives,desiring a new style of life which can bring them convenience.Fewer young couples choose the traditional wedding mode is a good example.Thus we can draw a conclusion that cultural convention in both cities and countries are deadly saved. [不够具体~论证不够充分~没有具体说出来什么东西被threaten掉了~]

In order to [建议换词~] save these tradtions,financial support of goverments,without dbout,is indispensable either to urban ereas or that in countries.In a main city,it is necessary to finance a future design of its development,to maintain its own style and avoid simply copying from other cities.Besides,some expenditrue must be made to protect old buildings and places of interest in danger,since they are carriers of traditional cultures. Money invested in villages is crucial as well.People in villages should be encouraged to remain their convention,and given some compesation for the unconvenience along with.In addtion,when a village is explored for tourism,the goverment has to come out enough preparation to prevent any potential damage to conventional culture,which certainly costs a large amount of money.Obviously and explicitly,to both cities and countries,financial spport is necessary for the preservation of cultural traditons. [建议不错！假如B1B2论证的更加好的话这里会显得更加有意义！]


In sum [放弃总是需要勇气~把这个词甩掉吧~] ,from what has been stated above,we can draw a conclusion that both major cities and rural areas need great attention on preserving cultural traditions,and what is also or even more important [结尾段是仅次于首段的部分！paramount~or others~] lies in being given enough fanacial support.Simply focousing in either of them rather than both,could be harmful [送你两个押韵的词：detrimental and destructive] ,and would go further away from our aim. [你这里表达的是一个加入的意思~尝试用if 引导一个虚拟语气的句子然后到装！]

[不错~句子上面好看了很多！词汇继续积累！思维上的问题谁也解决不了~需要自己继续努力~我的论证也不太好~建议叫鬼哥帮你看看~]

Mars3000UID: 198477

谢谢JIM老弟
每次看过你的批文都有一种畅快淋漓的感觉
这次又受益匪浅
好 我自己继续努力

boyjimUID: 125249

不敢当~有进步大家受益而已~哈哈哈~~~~~~~~

鬼谷子UID: 159645

No.1 issue10 同主题来报道，拍必回！
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

my position:在保护文化传统这一方面，政府应对城市和乡村给予同样的财政支持。
B1，文化传统既发源于城市也存在于乡村
B2，当今社会，无论在城市还是在农村，传统文化都受到了极大的威胁
B3，因此，为了保持文化传统，对城市和乡村均给予财政上的支持是必要的，进而提出一系列的保护措施。
结论：必须对城市和乡村均给予充分的关注与财政支持，单独关注任何一方对于问题的解决都是于事无补甚至背道而驰的。   【对于文化保护来说，你的提纲是很好的。但是，要注意题目里面说的thrive的问题。说明这个thrive才是财政资助的最终目的，文化的问题只是一个原因，一个前提】

In an epoch with golobalization coming into nearly every corn of our society,bringing thounds   【thousands】of skyscrapers,colorful Hollywood movies,and completely different values from the past,traditions of culture,whether in the metropolis New York, or in a small village of Florida,is under threat in a real   【in a real？】for the first time.In this case,goverments,which play a significant role in changing this dangerous trend,must provide sufficient financial support to both urban areas and rural countries. 【为了什么资助呢？为了保护文化，保护传统？只是为了文化吗？thrive的问题呢？】

First of all,I hold this argument based on the fact that not only do traditonal cultures exist in cities,but also live in   【这样说总觉得不是很舒服】small vilages,both of them needing 【need】 much attention.In every country of this world,its   【the或者the cultural traditions of every country。。。】cultural traditions lie in main cities,as well as rural areas.Take some places of interest,from which people can feel the inheritance of a cultrue,for example.In China,when come to the Frobidden City in Beijing,the second largest city ,or to the Temple of Kongzi,a place to memorize the most famous thinker in Chinese history,in a city of Shangdong province,people can strongly feel the impression of traditional culture,the reverence to the empire,the faith on justice,the emphasize over the duty of society.What is inherited in big cities consists of a indispensable part of Chinese cultural traditions. 【历史遗迹不是tradition的很好证据，我觉得还是一些习惯风俗之类的更符合tradition。或者你可以说，这样的遗迹是tradition的保护，保留】Nevertheless, in some rural countries of china,people still have access to the elites of cultural convetions.For instance,only a small Mongolian camp in a remote village contains so much information about cultural traditions,such as people's apparels,typical food and their constoms,that can we comprehend what the nation generally could be by inquring the lives there. 【这个更符合tradition一点】Obviously,villages are also a fortune of tradition culture.   【论证不够深入，你只说明了一个现象，大城市小乡村都有文化传统。但是没有进一步论述，这些文化传统对于城市乡村以至于对于社会有什么重要的意义。因为你要论证的是需要资助这些城市乡村。不说明传统对于城市以至于社会的意义，那么我们为什么要资助呢？从这一点来说。就可以很好的把thrive联系进去了。注意一下。】


Moreover,neither in large cities or in small villages,traditons of culture is seriously threatened in modern society.On one hand,with the globalization carried on further,major cities are influnced first and most,leading to a homgeneity of all the cities,which is fetal   【fatal】to cultural traditons .As doctor Liu,the head of sociology in my university,researching the effect of globalization to cultural traditons for many years,said(and i paraphrazed),"Nowadays, for the reason of globalization,cultural tradtitions in big cities is being destroyed,which would disappear in several years if no steps taken to stop it."A serious condition of perserving conventions in large cities could be concuded from what he said.On the other hand,the conditons in rurual villages are not optimistic either.As a series of new technology become available in countries,more and more residents there are inclined to get rid of their conventional lives,desiring a new style of life which can bring them convenience.Fewer young couples choose the traditional wedding mode is a good example.Thus we can draw a conclusion that cultural convention in both cities and countries are deadly saved. 【还是我上面说到的问题，你证明的只是现象。因为受到威胁，将要消失了，我们就一定要保护吗？不一定。只有证明了它对于城市发展对于社会发展有某种重要作用的时候才能说，不能让它消失，一定要保护】

In order to save these tradtions,financial support of goverments,without dbout,is indispensable either to urban ereas or that in countries.In a main city,it is necessary to finance a future design of its development,to maintain its own style and avoid simply copying from other cities.Besides,some expenditrue must be made to protect old buildings and places of interest in danger,since they are carriers of traditional cultures. Money invested in villages is crucial as well.People in villages should be encouraged to remain their convention,and given some compesation for the unconvenience along with.In addtion,when a village is explored for tourism,the goverment has to come out enough preparation to prevent any potential damage to conventional culture,which certainly costs a large amount of money.Obviously and explicitly,to both cities and countries,financial spport is necessary for the preservation of cultural traditons.


In sum,from what has been stated above,we can draw a conclusion that both major cities and rural areas need great attention on preserving cultural traditions,and what is also or even more important lies in being given enough fanacial support.Simply focousing in either of them rather than both,could be harmful,and would go further away from our aim.

【看到B2的时候已经发现你的论述有很大的缺欠了。如果你能注意到现象之后的深层问题。对于城市乡村社会的作用意义的问题，那么你的论述就会更加合理。而你也不会忽略thrive的问题了。重新构思一下吧。加油！】  

Mars3000UID: 198477

终于等到鬼前辈出手了.
长谢一个 :)
[B]Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.[/B]

感觉老美的思维方式好象和我们不一样,先说要支持主要城市保证繁荣,原因却是因为传统文化主要在城市孕育和保持
上帝,这是多么大的逻辑跳跃!
首先论据就有问题,谁说传统文化主要发源于城市,并在这里得以保持;再说财政支持就能保证城市繁荣?更致命的是即便城市真正繁荣也未必就能拯救文化传统啊!

当然,这里的大牛太多,上边这些大家都能看出来.但关键是在自己立论是面对这么复杂的逻辑关系要想另文章形成一条清晰的主线,而有能保证回应题目的各个层次可就困难了.
我就倒在这了,写完后就感觉特别不放心,因为仅对保证文化传统给予了回应,而无暇顾及城市繁荣这一层面.现在被鬼鬼指出了,看来确实是个致命的问题

好容易等到鬼哥,就多抱怨几句,也请鬼哥帮忙理顺一下思路.
还有论证过程中确实只注意现象,对问题的实质挖掘的不够,这个一定注意.
好,听斑竹的,重新构思一下,还请继续指正.

Mars3000UID: 198477

[B]【看到B2的时候已经发现你的论述有很大的缺欠了。如果你能注意到现象之后的深层问题。对于城市乡村社会的作用意义的问题，那么你的论述就会更加合理。而你也不会忽略thrive的问题了。重新构思一下吧。加油！】[/B]

又看了一遍鬼鬼的批注，刚才忽略了，这回有些懂了。
想了想你看这样论证是不是好些：

政府必须对城市及乡村均给予大力的财政支持以保证它们的繁荣，因为只有这些地方实现繁荣才能维护一个国家的文化传统，而对二者均进行支持的原因是无论城市还是乡村都是维护传统文化的主战场，而且它们都正遭受文化传统逐渐消失的威胁。

不过这样似乎也存在着一个缺点，就是虽然对论题的各个部分都进行了回应，但由于出击面太广，很难在45分钟内进行充分的论证。

鬼谷子UID: 159645

其实我是这么想的，题目的前面是结论，后面是论据/原因。那么也是一种1＋1了。你完全可以分开来写。就是说，完全可以说，同意或者不同意文化传统是在大城市产生和保存，然后再论述是否资助的问题。这里还可以发挥的一点就是。你可以论述了后句之后，然后同意前句，资助为了thrive，这个是正确的，但是反对原因。不是或者不只是为了保护文化而已。thrive需要的因素，涉及的方面很多。

从我刚刚的思考出发，我觉得这样写比较容易一点：承认大城市产生和保护的文化。（或者承认小乡村也同样如此）。然后论述文化，对于城市发展的作用，也许是精神文明方面的。但是，这只是一个方面，还有其他的比如经济发展，治安，福利了等等方面同样重要。而实际上，政府应该资助，但是应该资助的是这些方面，或者说，应该更多资助这些方面，或者说，这些方面也不能忽略。只有文化是不能thrive的。

仔细研究一下，确实这个题目也不简单呢。

Mars3000UID: 198477

仔细研究一下，确实这个题目也不简单呢。
当真很不简单
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive
这是个陈述性结论，当然它是否成立取决于人们的论证，也就是说采取财政支持这种手段能否实现城市繁荣这一目的的问题。
because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
这是一条论据，当然也存在这个论据是否成立的问题，即：文化传统是否发源于大城市，并在其中得以保存。
当然，这里还隐含着一个假设，即城市的繁荣对于文化传统的维持是有利的。

这里我们可以批驳结论，论据，假设中的任意部分，但一但论据和假设成立，便不能怀疑题目的结论结论
因为提干的陈述是正推，是只要----就----的条件关系，即只要后面城市受到威胁的条件成立，就要资助以令其繁荣。
而不是反推，即先存在城市繁荣这一结论，然后看才取什么措施才能保证其实现。这当然是对的，但从针对提干的论述的角度看，它和提干说的不是一回事，并不能以此为出发点而否定题目的论证。

是不是有些乱了，连我自己都快被绕进去了。