issue 7 (修改版)，快考了，大家看看！必回拍

smartyrUID: 169453

For thousands of years after the history of mankind, written records have been playing the crucial role in human’s civilization. However, in this era of rapid scientific and technological advancement leading to various modern recording means, such as the video camera, then the issue of whether can the new one be more important than the written records arouse among people. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally hold that the video camera and written records both have their advantages and disadvantages and properly using these two methods will serve for better capturing the objective contemporary life.

To begin with, the video documentation introduces a quite new approach of recording contemporary life and society. The most obvious feature of video camera focusing on people’s eyes is that it enables us to be personally in the scenes by proving the sound, moving images and the background etc. of the process of the events. To illustrate, the video camera has been employed commonly in the legal proceedings, such as monitoring the dishonest criminals and the drunk drivers. Compared to the written records, the almost copy of the scenes will force the criminals to accept the punishment without any complaint. In addition, the media information can be compressed and recorded in optical discs, tapes, or other mediums, offering an effective way of retaining datum and thereby saving a lot of space, whereas the written records have to occupy much larger space to restore the information./很真实，能够给人身临其境的感觉，使得罪犯更易承认错误；其次，存储方便，空间体积很小。

Notwithstanding the fantastic respects of the digital product, the written record also has its preponderance. First of all, the written records are much appealing to ordinary people due to the much less cost. Only a pen and some papers are needed for the individuals. Furthermore, the written records are capable of recording what lasts a relatively long period and spanning much wider space, from thousands years ago to modern time, from the western world to oriental world. A good example in this case is the thousands of years’ human history, which leaves us myriads of information, including the detailed description of the story with the historians’ comments and summarization of the experience of the past. In contrast to the video camera, which merely provides the objective scenes and hardly contains everywhere of the entire planet into its view, the advantages of the written records are self-evident./笔纸纪录省钱；纪录的时间空间跨度大，且有史学家的评述。

Nevertheless, it is just like a coin has its two sides. The respective shortcomings of the two methods require us to combine their advantages in modern society to record the contemporary life of human beings. Thus, people can be able to leave detailed description of the events and help to understand more quickly and memorize much deeper by the picture and its accompanying essay.

In conclusion, taking all the advantages and disadvantages into account, it is hard to say whether the superiority of video camera outweighs written records or written records is better than the digital product. Only if we use properly the two methods and compensate one with each other, can preserve we more complete and perfect material for the generations to come.

sxleeUID: 200505

For thousands of years after the history of mankind两个时间状语这么放不好吧！, written records have been playing thea crucial role in human’s civilization. However, in this era of rapid scientific and technological advancement leading to various modern recording means, such as the video camera, thenthen还是不用的好吧，前面是时间状语，后面和前面无递进关系 the issue of whether can the new one be more important than the written records arouse among people不用到装， 建议该为：the issue of whether the video camera as a means of documenting is more important than written records.. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally hold that the video camera and written records both have their advantages and disadvantages, 断开的好and properly using ofthese two methods will serve for better capturing the objective contemporary life.

To begin with, the video documentation introduces a quite不知可否这么用，可用brand-new new approach of recording contemporary life and society. The most obvious feature of video camera focusing on people’s eyes不懂focusing on people’s eyes是什么意思 is that it enables us to be personally in the scenes感觉怪怪的，你是不是说亲身经历，可用experience by proving是不是providing the sound, moving images and the background etc. of the process of the events两个of 在一块不好，可不用process. To illustrate应该有this point, ….can serve as an example , the video camera has been employed commonly in the legal proceedings, such as monitoring the dishonest criminals and the drunk drivers. Compared to the written records, the almost这个词用的不好 copy of the scenes will force the criminals to accept the punishment without any complaint. In addition, the media information can be compressed and recorded in optical discs, tapes, or other mediums, offering an effective way of retaining datum and thereby saving a lot of space, whereas the written records have to occupy much larger space to restore the information./很真实，能够给人身临其境的感觉，使得罪犯更易承认错误；其次，存储方便，空间体积很小。

Notwithstanding the fantastic respects of the digital product, the written record also has its preponderance. First of all, the不可乱用啊，题目就没有 written records are much appealing to ordinary people due to the much less cost. Only a pen and some pieces of papers are needed for the individuals. Furthermore, the written records are capable of recording what lasts a relatively long period and spanning much wider space, from thousands years ago to modern time, from the western world to oriental world. A good example in this case is the thousands of years’ human history, which leaves us myriads of information, including the detailed description of the story with the historians’ comments and summarization of the experience of the past. In contrast to the video camera, which merely provides the objective scenes and hardly contains everywhere of the entire planet into its view, the advantages of the written records are self-evident./笔纸纪录省钱；纪录的时间空间跨度大，且有史学家的评述。你一会用written records 一会用written record 不好吧

Nevertheless, it is just like a coin has its two sides. The respective shortcomings of the two methods require us to combine their advantages in modern society to record the contemporary life of human beings. Thus, people can be able to leave detailed description不懂 of the events and help to understand more quickly and memorize much deeper by the picture and its accompanying essay.

In conclusion, taking all the advantages and disadvantages into account, it is hard to say whether the superiority of video camera outweighs written records or written records isare better than the digital product. Only if we use properly the two methods and compensate one with each other, can preserve 这样不好吧，可改为：only by –ing can we …we more complete and perfect material for the generations to come.
结构没什么大问题，就是感觉用词有点怪，不准确。其实我也一样，多练多改就好了！
这是我第一次改， 肯定有不确切的地方，还是你自己决定怎么用好。欢迎改我的！！https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=261189

枫丹UID: 166492

我学习一下,下午给你交上!!!加油!!

smartyrUID: 169453

For thousands of years in the history of mankind, written records have been playing a crucial role in human being’s civilization. However, in this era of rapid scientific and technological advancement leading to various of modern recording means, such as the video camera, the issue of whether the video camera as a means of documenting is more important than written records arouse among people. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally hold that the video camera and written records both have their advantages and disadvantages, and properly using of these two methods will serve for better capturing the objective contemporary life of human beings.

To begin with, the video documentation introduces a brand-new approach of recording contemporary life and society. The most obvious feature of video camera attracting people’s eyes is that it enables us to be personally in the scenes by providing the sound, moving images and the background etc. of the events. To illustrate, a case in point in this respect is that the video camera has been employed commonly in the legal proceedings, such as monitoring the dishonest criminals and the drunk drivers, etc. Compared to the written records, the lifelike copy of the scenes will force the criminals to accept the punishment without any complaint. In addition, the media information can be compressed and recorded in optical discs, tapes, or other mediums, offering an effective way of retaining datum and thereby saving a lot of space, whereas the written records have to occupy much larger space to restore the information.

Notwithstanding the fantastic respects of the digital product, written record also has its preponderance. First of all, written records are much appealing to ordinary people due to the much less cost. Only a pen and some pieces of papers are needed for the individuals. Furthermore, the written records are capable of recording what lasts a relatively long period and spanning much wider space, from thousands years ago to modern time, from the western world to oriental world. A good example in this case is the thousands of years’ human history, which leaves us myriads of information, including the detailed description of the story with the historians’ comments and summarization of the experience of the past. In contrast to the video camera, which merely provides the objective scenes and hardly contains everywhere of the entire planet into its view, the advantages of the written records are self-evident.

Nevertheless, it is just like a coin has its two sides. The respective shortcomings of the two methods require us to combine their advantages in modern society to record contemporary life of human beings. Thus, people can be able to record the complete description of the events of their times for the next generations, also can help the future generations to understand more quickly and memorize much deeper by using the picture and its accompanying essay.

In conclusion, taking all the advantages and disadvantages into account, it is hard to say whether the superiority of video camera outweighs written records or written records are better than the digital product. Only by properly using the two methods and compensating one with each other, we can preserve more complete and perfect material for the generations to come.

smartyrUID: 169453

修改了!
谢谢两位了！sxlee该的很好！

smartyrUID: 169453

最初由 枫丹 发布
[B]我学习一下,下午给你交上!!!加油!! [/B]logic 才是最关键的
我会认真拍, 也希望认真被拍,一起

谢谢了！我正在加油！

nora0020UID: 104886

issue 7 (修改版)，快考了，大家看看！必回拍
For thousands of years after【可以用through】 the history of mankind, written records have been playing the【a】 crucial role in human’s civilization. However, in this era of rapid scientific and technological advancement leading to various modern recording means, such as the video camera, 【means what？】then the issue of whether can the new one be more important than the written records arouse【arousing】 among people. 【这句话好好组织一下】As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally hold that the video camera and written records both have their advantages and disadvantages and properly using these two methods will serve for better capturing the objective contemporary life.【两者兼顾？好像前面说的意思是video camera 更好，如果说两者都重要最好用meanwhile 这类词】

To begin with, the video documentation introduces a quite new approach of recording contemporary life and society. The most obvious feature of video camera focusing on people’s eyes is that it enables us to be personally in the scenes by proving the sound, moving images and the background etc. of the process of the events. To illustrate, the video camera has been employed commonly in the legal proceedings,【你是要说法律用途么？这个说法很 rare】 such as monitoring the dishonest criminals and the drunk drivers. Compared to the written records, the almost copy of the scenes will force the criminals to accept the punishment without any complaint. In addition, the media information can be compressed and recorded in optical discs, tapes, or other mediums, offering an effective way of retaining datum and thereby saving a lot of space, whereas the written records have to occupy much larger space to restore the information./很真实，能够给人身临其境的感觉，使得罪犯更易承认错误；其次，存储方便，空间体积很小。【结构不错，论述也比较到位】

Notwithstanding the fantastic respects of the digital product【s】, the written record 【s】also has its 【have their】preponderance. First of all, the written records are much appealing to ordinary people due to the much less cost. Only a pen and some papers are needed for the individuals. Furthermore, the written records are capable of recording what lasts a relatively long period and spanning much wider space, from thousands years ago to modern time【from ancient to modern times】, from the western world to oriental world. A good example in this case is the thousands of years’ human history, which leaves us myriads of information, including the detailed description of the story with the historians’ comments and summarization of the experience of the past. In contrast to the video camera, which merely provides the objective scenes and hardly contains everywhere of the entire planet into its view, the advantages of the written records are self-evident【不贴切换个词，而且这句的表达也很别扭】./笔纸纪录省钱；纪录的时间空间跨度大，且有史学家的评述。

Nevertheless, it is just like a coin has its two sides. The respective shortcomings of the two methods require us to combine their advantages in modern society to record the contemporary life of human beings. Thus, people can be able to leave detailed description of the events and help to understand more quickly and memorize much deeper by the picture and its accompanying essay. 【没有充分分析，可以写些两者结合使用效果更好这样的论据或者例子】

In conclusion, taking all the advantages and disadvantages into account, it is hard to say whether the superiority of video camera outweighs written records or written records is better than the digital product. Only if we use properly the two methods and compensate one with each other, can preserve we more complete and perfect material for the generations to come.【最后一段说了一点两者结合的好处，应该在前面好好分析一下】

枫丹UID: 166492

For thousands of years after the history of mankind, written records have been playing the [the 去掉]crucial role in human’s civilization. However, in this era of rapid scientific and technological advancement leading to various modern recording means, such as the video camera, [前面没有主句怎么就then了]then the issue of whether can the new one be more important than the written records arouse among people. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally hold that the video camera and written records both have their advantages and disadvantages and properly using these two methods will serve for better capturing the objective contemporary life.
最后这句不多，学习。
To begin with, the video documentation introduces a quite new approach of recording contemporary life and society. The most obvious feature of video camera focusing on people’s eyes is that it enables us to be personally in the scenes by proving the sound, moving images and the background etc. of the process of the events.[concerning the process of events是不是好一些呢？] To illustrate, the video camera has been employed commonly in the legal proceedings, such as monitoring the dishonest criminals and the drunk drivers. Compared to the written records, the almost copy of the scenes will force the criminals to accept the punishment without any complaint.[这个比较用的不好，为什么written不行？是因为它不能更好反映真实的事件，最好点一下] In addition, the media information can be compressed and recorded in optical discs, tapes, or other mediums, offering an effective way of retaining datum and thereby saving a lot of space, whereas the written records have to occupy much larger space to restore the information./很真实，能够给人身临其境的感觉，使得罪犯更易承认错误；其次，存储方便，空间体积很小。

Notwithstanding the fantastic respects of the digital product, the written record also has its preponderance. First of all, the written records are much appealing to ordinary people due to the much less cost. Only a pen and some papers are needed for the individuals. Furthermore, the written records are capable of recording what lasts a relatively long period and spanning [spans]much wider space, from thousands years ago to modern time, from the western world to oriental world. A good example in this case is the thousands of years’ human history, which leaves us myriads of information, including the detailed description of the story with the historians’ comments and summarization of the experience of the past. In contrast to the video camera, which merely provides the objective scenes and hardly contains everywhere of the entire planet into its view, the advantages of the written records are self-evident./笔纸纪录省钱；纪录的时间空间跨度大，且有史学家的评述。
最后这一句self-evident漂亮。但是说的不太清楚，

Nevertheless, it is just like a coin has its two sides. The respective shortcomings of the two methods require us to combine their advantages in modern society to record the contemporary life of human beings. Thus, people can be able to leave detailed description of the events and help to understand more quickly and memorize much deeper by the picture and its accompanying essay.

In conclusion, taking all the advantages and disadvantages into account, it is hard to say whether the superiority of video camera outweighs written records or written records is better than the digital product. Only if we use properly the two methods and compensate one with each other, can preserve we more complete and perfect material for the generations to come.
感觉你的用词越来越好了，除了一点语法可我怎么越写越糟糕呢。句子背还是忘，怎么办？？
还有你先忙你的，不用给我改了，等你考完再帮我看看

nora0020UID: 104886

smartyr 什么时候考？ 加油啊！！！

smartyrUID: 169453

谢谢各位了
我很着急了!4月5号!!
大家加油,我们肯定都能抽到机进!!!

smartyrUID: 169453

最初由 枫丹 发布
[B]For thousands of years after the history of mankind, written records have been playing the [the 去掉]crucial role in human’s civilization. However, in this era..

以下省略...... [/B]

老战友啊,我怕考试写不完！！！

nora0020UID: 104886

到了考场就成了机器人，不会写的都能写完了，表担心

kekeJaneUID: 202511

For thousands of years afterduring the history of mankind, written records have been playing the crucial role in human’s humans'civilization. However, in this era of rapid scientific and technological advancementachievement leading to result invarious modern recording means, such as the video camera, then the issue of whether can the new onecan 放在这里 be more important than the written records arouse加ing 或者s among people. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally hold that the video camera and written records both have their advantages and disadvantages and properly using these two methods will serve for better capturing the objective contemporary life.

To begin with, the video documentation introduces a quite new approach of recording contemporary life and society. The most obvious feature of video camera focusing on people’s eyesIt is the most alluring feature of video camera to  people which can enable us to be personally in the scenes by proving the sound, moving images and the background etc. of the process of the events. To illustrate ,a case in point, the video camera has been employed commonly in the legal proceedings, such as monitoring the dishonest criminals and the drunk drivers. Compared to the written records, the almost copy of the scenes will force the criminals to accept the punishment without any complaints. In addition, the media information can be compressed and recorded in optical discs, tapes, or other mediums, offering an effective way of retaining datum and thereby saving a lot of space, whereas the written records have to occupy much larger space to restorerestoring the information./很真实，能够给人身临其境的感觉，使得罪犯更易承认错误；其次，存储方便，空间体积很小。