[必读]issue185 丑闻 看了点意见又改了 大家再给点意见，被我拍的哥们不要放弃这

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

Issue185: 567words 45 minutes
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

As we all know, scandals today have become a kind of new culture due their specificities. Whether it is about political affairs or about academic research or even other areas of the human society, they draw people's attentions every minute. When a culature is evaluated, such words as 'useful' or 'useless' is unsituable and even hasty. It needs to be fully evaluated to get a final conclusion.

Scandals, admittedly, always focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. Our humans are born with too much curiosity about everything around them especially that they have never known. Just because what the scandals supply are always something rarely known by populace, we are every time eager to know about the all scandals we could. Take the football star Beckham for example, his life could always draw hundreds of thousands of eyeballs. When the scandal that he has been involved into a special sexy relationship with a so-called woman was exposed, it seems that the whole world is in a lively talk on this topic. However, such things are very common in our society, and the only difference is the main role is a famous football star other than a populace.

What we must admit is that, through the process of the exposal of scandals, our society do pay much more attention on problems in this respect and things would be well resolved in future. In the political world, it is almost in every country that bribery is a common affair, and no speaker or reformer dare or is able to deal with it because the people involved in it usually have a complex relationship with each other. Once such things are exposed to the society as ugly scandals the great influence can never be ignored. The government must carry out its reform to prevent these scandals again.

Such situations are also common in the academic field. What we value most in the science world is originality and what we consider to be the worst and most ugly thing is to copy others' results. Original creation in the academic research is not an easy task which needs continuous work and sometimes a little luck. Not every one in this field would finally has his or her own creation and what is the worse is such people may be frustrated by such unsuccessful experiences and even become beginto think about to copy others' work. The most frequent situation is the faculties possess their graduate students' original work. Such scandals could be always known by our populace, and the public voice would finally devote to purify the academic world.

However, scandals are not always accurate reflection of the reality. There are situations that somebody makes out such scandals on purpose to disturb the society. Excitant in the sports field is a sensitive topic. In this high-tech world, it is true that many excitants are made out to lend sports men a chance to treat in the competition for the championship. But many excellent sports men who have never use these excitants were involved in such scandals and they could never recover from this shadow again.

In sum, when we try to assess whether it is useful or useless or even harmful, we still needs to do a lot of work. The evaluation of a culture is not easy. Sometimes, you'd better t it as a phenomena.

nora0020UID: 104886

Issue185: 567words 45 minutes
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

As we all know, scandals today have become a kind of new culture due their specificities. Whether it is about political affairs or about academic research or even other areas of the human society, they draw people's attentions every minute. When a culature 【culture】is evaluated, such words as 'useful' or 'useless' is unsituable【unsuitable】 and even hasty. It needs to be fully evaluated to get a final conclusion.【写得真像A的开头，是赞成还是反对不是很明确，这里你是想说反对吧】

Scandals, admittedly, always focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. Our humans are born with too much curiosity about everything around them especially that they have never known. Just because what the scandals supply are【is】always something rarely known by populace, we are every time eager to know about the all scandals we could. Take the football star Beckham for example, his life could always draw hundreds of thousands of eyeballs. When the scandal that he has been involved into a special sexy relationship with a so-called woman was exposed, it seems that the whole world is in a lively talk on this topic. However, such things are very common in our society, and the only difference is the main role is a famous football star other than a populace.【论据不是很深入，不能证明always focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could 只是在说人们对丑闻有很大的兴趣】

What we must admit is that, through the process of the exposal of scandals, our society do pay much more attention on problems in this respect and things would be well resolved in future. In the political world, it is almost in every country that bribery is a common affair, and no speaker or reformer dare or is able to deal with it because the people involved in it usually have a complex relationship with each other. Once such things are exposed to the society as ugly scandals the great influence can never be ignored. The government must carry out its reform to prevent these scandals again.【到底揭露丑闻好还是不好，没有说出来，不过语言还是很好的】

Such situations are also common in the academic field. What we value most in the science world is originality and what we consider to be the worst and most ugly thing is to copy others' results. Original creation in the academic research is not an easy task which needs continuous work and sometimes a little luck. Not every one in this field would finally has his or her own creation and what is the worse is such people may be frustrated by such unsuccessful experiences and even become begin to think about to copy others' work. The most frequent situation is the faculties possess their graduate students' original work. Such scandals could be always known by our populace, and the public voice would finally devote to purify the academic world.【这段写得不错，思路比较清晰】

However, scandals are not always accurate reflection of the reality. There are situations that somebody makes out such scandals on purpose to disturb the society. Excitant in the sports field is a sensitive topic. In this high-tech world, it is true that many excitants are made out to lend sports men a chance to treat in the competition for the championship. But many excellent sports men who have never use these excitants were involved in such scandals and they could never recover from this shadow again.

In sum, when we try to assess whether it is useful or useless or even harmful, we still needs to do a lot of work. The evaluation of a culture is not easy. Sometimes, you'd better t【？？】 it as a phenomena。【感觉不是很扣题和开头段一个毛病】
总的来说，语言很过关，论证和结构上还要好好把握。

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

呵呵 那个漏掉的是treat 对待! 不好意思
这篇我感觉就是难写,而且我写的时候突然一个念头就是
为何不写得朦胧些呢
所以就...

nora0020UID: 104886

多练练I吧，我看你A写得比较多

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

issue我觉得可能idea更重要,所以在意帮人家改,吸取别人的,呵呵
不过我会的,今后几天issue多搞几篇来批批

spritneyUID: 177238

As we all know, scandals today have become a kind of new culture due totheir specificities. Whether it is about political affairs or about academic research or even other areas of the human society, they draw people's attentions every minute. When a culature is evaluated, such words as 'useful' or 'useless' is unsituable and even hasty. It needs to be fully evaluated to get a final conclusion.

Scandals, admittedly, always focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.No……could…极端了些吧 Our humans are born with too much curiosity about everything around them前面用our，这里和后面用they,不太搭配吧 especially that they have never known. Just because what the scandals supply are always something rarely known by populace, we are every time eager to know about the all scandals we could. Take the football star Beckham for example, his life could always draw hundreds of thousands of eyeballs. When the scandal that he has been involved into a special sexy relationship with a so-called woman was exposed, it seems that the whole world is in a lively talk on this topic. However, such things are very common in our society, and the only difference is thatthe main role is a famous football star other than a populace.

What we must admit is that, through the process of the exposal of scandals, our society do pay much more attention on problems in this respect and things would be well resolved in future.话题转换的有些突然 In the political world, it is almost in every country that bribery is a common affair, and no speaker or reformer dare or is able to deal with it because the people involved in it usually have a complex relationship with each other. Once such things are exposed to the society as ugly scandals the great influence can never be ignored. The government must carry out its reform to prevent these scandals again.

Such situations are also common in the academic field. What we value most in the science world is originality and what we consider to be the worst and most ugly thing is to copy others' results. Original creation in the academic research is not an easy task which needs continuous work and sometimes a little luck. Not every one in this field would finally has his or her own creation and what is the worse is such people may be frustrated by such unsuccessful experiences and even become begin少一个空格哦to think about to copy others' work. The most frequent situation is the faculties possess their graduate students' original work. Such scandals could be always known by our populace, and the public voice would finally devote to purify the academic world.个人认为这一段挺好的：）

However, scandals are not always accurate reflection of the reality. There are situations that somebody makes out such scandals on purpose to disturb the society. Excitant in the sports field is a sensitive topic. In this high-tech world, it is true that many excitants are made out to lend sports men a chance to treat in the competition for the championship. But many excellent sports men who have never use these excitants were involved in such scandals and they could never never 用得有些极端了，用hardly稍好些recover from this shadow again.

In sum, when we try to assess whether it is useful or useless or even harmful, we still needs to do a lot of work. The evaluation of a culture is not easy. Sometimes, you'd better t？？ it as a phenomena.


个人认为，这篇文章的语言还是8错的：）鼓励一个
但是好像前面写得挺好的，到后面感觉就下来了，是没时间了么？有虎头蛇尾的意思哦
还有，提一点建议，ISSUE的语气和写作感觉应该是非常，或者尽可能地是客观公正、不带个人感情色彩的（要有个人意见，但是不要带感情），所以，像never、no 这样极端性的词汇要尽量不出现，如果实在想表达就用hardly,barely,seldom,rarely这样还有余地的词语来替换，understand?:)