Argument147 第12篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

lovebirdUID: 203182

Argument147  第12篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户         450 words
------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the
past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that
this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game
players what features they thought were most important in a video
game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike
graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has
just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising
campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most
likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind
video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
------正文------
The editorial in a business magazine remark the the sales of Whirlwind
video games will increase in a few monthes.To justfy the conclusion the
editorial's author cites a survey shows that the most important feature
for games is lifelike graphics which Whirlwind video games do
provide.The author also notes that Whirlwind has just introduced
several games with an extensive advertising.However there are a few
logical flaws which the article bases on and so the comclusion beg for
further discussing.

First of all,the author cites the survey without mention enough
information about the subjects of the study.The subjects can be so
small a group player that they can not represent all players.Moreover
the players who has been asked maybe happen to be those who do not
play games often and so they will not be the largest comsumers of
video games.

The survey only shows that players favor lifelike graphics video games
but it does not mean that they will play them.Perhaps lifelike graphics
video games are their drame games,but they can not afford to them for
their low income or other factors.And just as the survey has mentioned
that in order to the lifelike graphics video games,they  need the most up-
to-date computers which must cost a lot and many players do not want
to buy so expensive computers because they want to play these lifelike
games.

Moreover our players prefer lifelike games,they also want to play a
interesting games.Any games that do not have interesting stories will
be dismiss by players in a few days not matter how lifelike the games
are.

Finally,although Whirlwind has just introduced several gmes which have
lifelike graphics with an extensive sdvertising campaign.The result can
be much worse because the poor quility of these games and players will
be upset about games of Whirlwind and will not buy their products.And
the company will break down because of the high investment in these
games without high selling.Even the adeversity will take effects,the
author does not take other competitor into account.There will be many
game firms who produce lifelike games which have more attractive
stories and players can not help love them and do not want to change
to other games.So Whirlwind will not profit from their high expected
games.

In sum,the author can not convince me.The author does not provide
enough information about the subjects of the survey which the editorial
base on.Moreover the author does not consider many respects which
will influence the profit,such as other competitors,the cost and whether
there are enough players who will favor their games.

AlierUID: 159518

总体不错，但是感觉最后两段有些跑题了，特别是倒数第二段。
这个argument 的结论只是说sales会增加，而没有涉及到profit的问题，所以倒数第二段（如果需要的话－－其实我觉得可以不要了，找三个错误展开，就足够了），应该聚焦在可能影响销售的其他原因上（谈到公司的breakdown就扯远了。）
呵呵，个人意见，仅供参考，我也才开始写，大家互相批评进步哈！

nick530UID: 203367

占位，晚上看吧：）