issue30 同主题10.有拍必应!

猫猫624UID: 171232

------题目------
The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.
------正文------
With the rapid development of technology, people's efficiency has increased correspondingly. However, what deserves attention is that numerous phenomena aptly illustrate that increased efficiency has not brought about more leisure time for people, but more hectic pace of living. Besides, technological advancement does not aim at raising efficiency, but improving the overall living standard of average people and the prosperity of the whole society.

(科技发展带来高效率)
The technology advancement has inevitably and inexorably resulted in increased efficiency in people's working and living. The mass standardized production and industrial revolution have shortened people's working time; the communication tools ,such as cars, ships and airplanes, have saved much time for people in transportation , especially long-distance transportation; the tele-commincation methods, such as telephone and the Internet, have provided convenient methods for people to communicate with others and the mass media, such as television and radio, have increased the speed and efficiency of transmitting and exchanging message. As the examples demonstrated above, nobody can deny technological advancement has promoted the efficiency of human both in working and living.

(随着科技的发展人们的闲暇时间越来越少，生活节奏越来越快。原因不在于高效率，而是在于老板对于职工高效工作无能满足的期望，以及激烈的社会竞争)
However, practical experience informs people that increased efficiency resulted from technological advancement does not bring about relaxed manner of life and more spare time, but rather the increasingly rapid pace of living. A survey, conduced by an authoritative organization of America, claims that average working time per week has been increased from 40 hours in 1960 to 60 hours nowadays. How to explain this seemingly ironic phenomenon? Due to the rapid speed of technological development, people must spend much time in learning new knowledge and skills, in order to keep up with technological advancement. Moreover, along with increased efficiency, employer's desire to get more work done with higher efficiency and quality has promoted. Meanwhile, faced with more and more fierce competition, employees are forced to pay more attention on and spend more time in working. Therefore, it is unjustifiable to blame the increased efficiency brought about by technological advancement to grasp people's leisure time. In fact, it is human beings' insatiable desire for more production and competitive society to urge people to occupy much energy and time in working in order to keep up with increasingly hectic pace of the society.

（科技发展目的不是提高效率，而是整个社会的繁荣）
Besides, the increased efficiency serves as one of important consequences carried by technological advancement, but not the main goal. When it comes to the major aim of technological promotion, these are several compelling examples to illustrate it. The advancement in biochemistry helps people cure and prevent diseases; the development in medical benefit people to receive safer treatment; myriads of technological invention and discoveries provide much convenience of living and help people profoundly comprehend the world around us; the astonishing advancement of information methods, paramount amount of information available for average people greatly increase the efficiency and effectiveness of working. Therefore, the ultimate goal of technological advancement lies in health, safe, wisdom, convenience and the like -----that is the overall well-being of the society.

In sum, along with the rapid technological development, the working efficiency of common people has greatly promoted and requires people to spend much time to continuously learn new technological knowledge, therefore occupying much otherwise spare time. In addition, the increased efficiency should be regarded as one of essential consequences of technological advancement and the major goal of technological development lies in the boom and prosperity of the whole society.

boyjimUID: 125249

喵~:D

猫猫624UID: 171232

哈哈.boyjim 欢迎!

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

进来学习一下。

猫猫624UID: 171232

深谷幽兰.学习不敢.你是不是快考了,有哪片想让我拍的

boyjimUID: 125249

------题目------
The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.
------正文------
With the rapid development of technology, people's efficiency has increased correspondingly. However, what deserves attention is that numerous phenomena aptly illustrate that increased efficiency has not brought about more leisure time for people, but more hectic pace of living. Besides, technological advancement does not aim at raising efficiency, but improving the overall living standard of average people and the prosperity of the whole society. [不错~干净利落！不过beside值得斟酌~]

(科技发展带来高效率)
The technology advancement has inevitably and inexorably [我特别喜欢这种押韵D~] resulted in increased efficiency in people's working and living. The mass standardized production and industrial revolution have shortened people's working time; the communication tools ,such as cars, ships and airplanes, have saved much time for people in transportation , especially long-distance transportation; the tele-commincation methods, such as telephone and the Internet, have provided convenient methods for people to communicate with others and the mass media, such as television and radio, have increased the speed and efficiency of transmitting and exchanging message [句子稍长了~而且用and连接~不够高级~呵呵~~~可以来个比喻！小猫看看新概念4里面有一课~说雷达延伸了他的眼睛~...来个这样的比喻敢情好！] . As the examples demonstrated above, nobody can deny technological advancement has promoted the efficiency of human both in working and living.

(随着科技的发展人们的闲暇时间越来越少，生活节奏越来越快。原因不在于高效率，而是在于老板对于职工高效工作无能满足的期望，以及激烈的社会竞争)
However, practical experience informs people that increased efficiency resulted from technological advancement does not bring about relaxed manner of life and more spare time, but rather the increasingly rapid pace of living. A survey, conduced by an authoritative organization of America, [想偷笑~] claims that average working time per week has been increased from 40 hours in 1960 to 60 hours nowadays. How to explain this seemingly ironic phenomenon? Due to the rapid speed of technological development, people must spend much time in learning new knowledge and skills, in order to keep up with technological advancement. Moreover, along with increased efficiency, employer's desire [longing,craving for来个排比句！] to get more work done with higher efficiency and quality has promoted. Meanwhile, faced [encounter] with more and more [increasingly] fierce competition [vie] , employees are forced to pay more attention [focus..concentration] on and spend more time in working. Therefore, it is unjustifiable to blame the increased efficiency brought about by technological advancement to grasp people's leisure time. In fact, it is human beings' insatiable [可以来个短句~it is human nature.然后再说~] desire for more production and competitive society to urge people to occupy much energy and time in working in order to keep up with increasingly hectic pace of the society.

（科技发展目的不是提高效率，而是整个社会的繁荣）
Besides, the increased efficiency serves as one of important consequences carried by technological advancement, but not the main goal. When it comes to the major aim of technological promotion, these are several compelling examples to illustrate it. The advancement in biochemistry helps people cure and prevent diseases; the development in medical benefit people to receive safer treatment; myriads of technological invention and discoveries provide much convenience of living and help people profoundly comprehend the world around us; the astonishing advancement of information methods, paramount amount of information available for average people greatly increase the efficiency and effectiveness of working. Therefore, the ultimate goal of technological advancement lies in health, safe, wisdom, convenience and the like -----that is the overall well-being of the society. [sublime~!]

In sum, along with the rapid technological development, the working efficiency of common people has greatly promoted and requires people to spend much time to continuously learn new technological knowledge, therefore occupying [不够好！] much otherwise spare time. In addition, the increased efficiency should be regarded as one of essential consequences of technological advancement and the major goal of technological development lies in the boom and prosperity of the whole society. [猫的作文都太理智了~可以感性一点！嘻嘻~]

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

最初由 猫猫624 发布
[B]深谷幽兰.学习不敢.你是不是快考了,有哪片想让我拍的 [/B]

谢谢了先！4.8考 :( 没时间了 :mad:

等一下贴一篇新写的，有时间拍一下 ;)

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 boyjim 发布
[B]------题目------
The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.
------正文--..

以下省略...... [/B]

谢谢你的建议,又扩充了我的词汇.
感觉自己写的越来越八股了! :(

另外问一下,你偷笑我什么? :confused:

davidjackyUID: 135962

------题目------
The primary goal of technological advancementTA should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.
------正文------
With the rapid development of technology, people's efficiency has increased correspondingly. However, what deserves attention is that numerous phenomena aptly illustrate that increased efficiency has not brought about more leisure time for people, but more hectic pace of living. Besides, technological advancement does not aim at raising efficiency, but improving这个地方是不是不对，not but句式中，not后的词组也能省略吗，确认一下，告诉我，谢谢 the overall living standard of average peoplethe people’s overall standard of living 或者the average living standard of people我想overall和average随便用一个就可以表达你的意思 and the prosperity of the whole society. 开头很好，亮出观点：TA带来HE，但是increased efficiency并没有带来more leisure time而是增加了生活节奏，并且，TA的目的在于提高整体生活水平，而不仅仅是提高效率

(科技发展带来高效率)
The technology advancement has inevitably and inexorablyundoubtedly，这两个词似乎有点negative的意思在里头 resulted in increased efficiency in people's working and living. The mass standardized production and industrial revolution have already shortened people's working time; the communication tools ,such as cars, ships and airplanes, have saved much time for people in transportation , especially long-distance transportation; the tele-commincation methods, such as telephone and the Internettelephone and Internet should be categorized as communication tools, not methods.注意一下, have provided convenient methods for people to communicate with others and the mass media, such as television and radio, have increased the speed and efficiency of transmitting and exchanging message. As the examples demonstrated above, nobody can deny technological advancement has promoted the efficiency of human both in working and living. 这段大量例证TA引起HE，写的可以了

(随着科技的发展人们的闲暇时间越来越少，生活节奏越来越快。原因不在于高效率，而是在于老板对于职工高效工作无能满足的期望，以及激烈的社会竞争)
However, practical experience informs people that increased efficiency resulted from technological advancement does not bring about relaxed manner of lifean easy, relaxed lifestyle with more spare time and more spare time, but rather the increasingly rapid pace of living. A survey, conduced by an authoritative organization of America, claims that average working time per week has been increased from 40 hours in 1960 to 60 hours nowadays. How to explain this seemingly ironic phenomenon? Due to the rapid speed of technological developmentdue to the rapid development of science and technology, people must spend muchmore一定有，前面有个40VS60的比较 time in learning new knowledge and skills, in order to keep up with technological advancement. Moreover, along with increased efficiency, employer's desire to get more work done with higher efficiency and quality has promoted. Meanwhile, faced? with more and more fierce competition, employees are forced to pay more attention on? and spend more time in working. Therefore, it is unjustifiable to blame the increased efficiency brought about by technological advancement to grasp people's leisure time. In fact, it is human beings' insatiable desire for more production and competitive society to urge people to occupy much energy and time in working in order to keep up with increasingly hectic pace of the society.指出生活节奏增快的真凶――人们对利润的欲望，这段也分析的很好

（科技发展目的不是提高效率，而是整个社会的繁荣）
Besides, the increased efficiency serves as one of important consequences carried by technological advancement, but not the main goal. When it comes to the major aim of technological promotion, these are several compelling examples to illustrate it. The advancement in biochemistrydrug discovery and medical techniques helps people cure and prevent diseases; the development in medical benefit people to receive safer treatment这句不要; myriads of technological invention and discoveries provide much convenience of living and help people profoundly comprehend the world around us; the astonishing advancement of information methods, paramount amount of information available for average people到这里才搞清你的average的意思是一般人，是吧！不见得要这么写,用average person或者ordinary person会更多一些，你的没有错，只是当初和overall在一起的时候我把它当成平均的意思，所以改写了以前的句子，既然这样，权当我没改过 greatly increase the efficiency and effectiveness of working. Therefore, the ultimate goal of technological advancement lies in health, safe, wisdom, convenience and the like -----that is the overall well-being of the society. 分析的很好，排比的句式很有气势嘛

In sum, along with the rapid technological development, the working efficiency of common people has greatly promoted and requires people to spend much time to continuously learn new technological knowledge, therefore occupying much otherwise spare time. In addition, the increased efficiency should be regarded as one of essential consequences of technological advancement and the major goal of technological development lies in the boom and prosperity of the whole society.
总结的也很好

猫猫624UID: 171232

not but 结构.  He own not one but three houses.
至于我用的technological advancement does not aim at raising efficiency, but improving the overall living standard of average people and the prosperity of the whole society
是不是not 的位置不对?
technological advancement aims at improving the average living standard of peopleand the propensity of the whole society, but not raising efficiency.
是不是好点

后面的表达即可，我认为By David

或者前后分句一换,用rather than 连接

应该是pay attention to

be faced with 面对.......

斑竹改的很好.the people’s overall standard of living 或者the average living standard of people
relaxed lifestyle with more spare time
接受!!谢谢

boyjimUID: 125249

最初由 猫猫624 发布
[B][QUOTE]最初由 boyjim 发布
[B]------题目------
The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone ..

以下省略...... [/B]

嘻嘻~~~俺看到survey就想笑~ :D

LJVYUID: 204075

也进来感受一下学习气氛;)

r0tUID: 202195

楼主看280比较多，小心被判雷同...