第一次发贴第一篇ARGU

feixiaojingUID: 203957

In this argument the author reaches the conclusion that by taking vitamin N along with a fiber supplement all the athletes will be able to increase their endurance and win more games. In order to convince us, author cites the reason that athletes who have a lot of nuts have higher level of endurance. An additional reason given in support of this recommendation is that vitamin N and along and fiber in the nuts increase their endurance. The argument is problematic for several reasons.
First, the author assumes that the nuts bear some relation to the athletes' endurance.  However, no evidence is offered to support this assumption that the nuts do have this function. Perhaps it is the athletes' heavy training that improves their endurance. Lacking evidence that links the nuts to the increasing, it is presumption to suggest that the nuts increase the endurance of the athletes.
Second, if the nuts do have the function, the author fail三 to convince us that it has something to do with the Vitamin N and fiber in nuts. It is entirely possible that some other elements in nuts cause the increasing of endurance. Without considering and ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot justifiably conclude that the increasing of the athletes' endurance is the result of the Vitamin N and fiber in nuts.
Additional, the author assumes that the synthesized Vitamin N and fiber have the same function as those in nuts. Common sense tells us, the function of one element interplay with others. Only the Vitamin N and fiber may have different function from those in nuts. The author fails to tell us that whether the vitamin N and fiber can work without other elements in nuts. Without this evidence, he can not convince me that only the Vitamin N and fiber do have the function.
Last, the author unfairly equal the improvement of endurance with the winning more games. Different sport has different requirement of endurance, some games needing speed or strength, for instance, the increasing of the endurance may have little influence of the result of the games.
All in all, the author has not succeeded in providing compelling reasons for his argument. To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide scientific evidence that the nuts have the function that is be able to improve the endurance levels of the athletes and evidence that this effect is caused by the vitamin N and fiber, in nuts or just synthesized. Furthermore, he should present that it is in some sports require endurance that can the athletes win more games by eating nuts.

feixiaojingUID: 203957

自己感觉不太好,差不多半小时写的,
A91 nuts 的那个
觉得自己词汇好少
晕~~~
第一次来,大家留情啊 :)

埃及女皇UID: 203466

In this argument the author reaches the conclusion that by taking vitamin N along with a fiber supplement all the athletes will be able to increase their endurance and win more games. In order to convince us, author cites the reason that athletes who have a lot of nuts have higher level of endurance.总感觉这句很别扭 An additional reason given in support of this recommendation is that vitamin N and along and fiber in the nuts increase their endurance. The argument is problematic for several reasons.开头写的有点罗嗦了 可以简洁些 语句变化要注意
First, the author assumes that the nuts bear some relation to the athletes' endurance. However, no evidence is offered to support this assumption that the nuts do have this function. Perhaps it is the athletes' heavy training that improves their endurance.这里可以再加一些例子 Lacking evidence that links the nuts to the increasing, it is presumption to suggest that the nuts increase the endurance of the athletes.这一段其实可以加一些举例来论证 使得更丰满
Second, if the nuts do have the function, the author fail三 to convince us that it has something to do with the Vitamin N and fiber in nuts. It is entirely possible that some other elements in nuts cause the increasing of endurance. Without considering and ruling out these possibilities, the author cannot justifiably conclude that the increasing of the athletes' endurance is the result of the Vitamin N and fiber in nuts.
Additionally, the author assumes that the synthesized Vitamin N and fiber have the same function as those in nuts. Common sense tells us, the function of one element interplay with others. Only the Vitamin N and fiber may have different function from those in nuts. The author fails to tell us that whether the vitamin N and fiber can work without other elements in nuts. Without this evidence, he can not convince me that only the Vitamin N and fiber do have the function.
Last, the author unfairly equal the improvement of endurance with the winning more games. Different sport has different requirement of endurance, some games needing speed or strength, for instance, the increasing of the endurance may have little influence of the result of the games.
All in all, the author has not succeeded in providing compelling reasons for his argument. To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide scientific evidence that the nuts have the function that is be able to improve the endurance levels of the athletes and evidence that this effect is caused by the vitamin N and fiber, in nuts or just synthesized. Furthermore, he should present that it is in some sports require endurance that can the athletes win more games by eating nuts.

感觉你的文章是在举例论证上少了点
我也是  刚刚才开始练习  总是不对 后来又网友建议我反复体会官方范文
我觉得 很重要一点是 多举例论证  让自己的文章更丰满
我语法较差 不敢妄加品评  
有空也帮偶拍一砖 谢谢先```

boyjimUID: 125249

注意发贴格式！