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[i习作temp] issue41占星学 高频题 貌似容易 实际。。。? [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-4-6 09:32:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue41   修改版在8楼

------题目------
41"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."

------正文------

It is human-being that acts as the main actor on the stage of development. The need of human-being embraces spiritual realm and material realm. In my perspective, Although it is hard to require non-mainstream areas of inquiry to satisfy human's material needs by producing milk and bread, or inventing new machine, they are definitely employed to meet spiritual demands, moreover, sometimes the unique way by non-mainstream inquiry can make the effect that inaccessible by main-stream science. Hence, non-mainstream inquiry can not be replaced by mainstream science within a period for its vital function.

Firstly, human-being is born of curiosity. Before enough study and experience, human can not explain the phenomenon such as why sun rises from east and falls in west. Because correct explanation directly without a process of cognition is unrealistic, people need an opinion regardless of whether it is scientific proved. For example before astronomy, astrology contributed greatly to answer ancestors question about the movements of stars. No matter eastern fairy from China or western legacy of ancient Greece, ancestors attempted to provide the most reasonable depiction and narration about the curious phenomena, constrained by the conditions of both human's cognition and nature's complexity. people could discard the embarrassment and distress by enjoying the non-mainstream saying. That is the consequential cause of the emergence of non-mainstream inquiry. Therefore, because of the unlimited questions, the existence of non-mainstream explanation is reasonable and even desirable.

Secondly, some phenomena shock or even frighten people, to avoid the shadow during intrinsically limited lifetime of an individual, people utilize their imagination to reassure themselves. On one hand, the interpretations and ideologies handed down keep functioning and influencing people who are gradually unconscious about them. Do there definitely exist heaven and Eden? The answer seems not so crucial as long as people believe it and confront death calmly. Do there really exist deity and God who judge and control the world with paranormal power? The only thing we make sure is people find out the shelter or harbor whenever in trouble. On the other hand, non-mainstream thinking method is distilled and regarded as an necessary illusion by modern people. Thinking in the way of non-mainstream can control emotion, appease human-being and deal with many psychological issues. No matter whether you believe it or not, it is a way of thinking to retain confidence after failure or to obtain courage before beginning. A psychological professor used to make a lecture about diversified approaches to remedy / cure distress, among which psychic pursuit and self-suggestion do benefit for psychological health. But there are by no means of science. It is the natural demands by human-being for eliminating vexation or apprehension by non-mainstream inquiries.

Thirdly, although people's cognition level increases with development of science, they still hold some old interpretations from non-mainstream inquiries, because they seem to be more relaxed than heavy and abstract science. People need entertainment and relaxation rather than logical reasoning and questioning without stopping. For example, the widely accepted Tarot card can bring people fun and release, why not abandon it merely for its non-mainstream attribute?

Admittedly, non-mainstream inquiries are restrained by its intrinsic nature although reasonable they are. Over-emphasizing or even depending fully on them may lead to wrong-doing. Both mainstream science and non-mainstream areas of inquiry are employed to serve for human-being, to reassure its uncertainty and curiosity, to solve problems.

In sum, even though the position of non-mainstream inquiry can never be uplift to the same level as mainstream science, it is also vital and indispensable for its particular benefits to satisfying human-being.
"当我卖掉金表,给你买了你心仪以久的梳子的时候,你却把头发卖掉,给我买了白金表链."
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沙发
发表于 2005-4-6 10:58:44 |只看该作者

先占上,改中

It is human-being that acts as the main actor on the stage of development. The need of human-being embraces spiritual realm and material realm. In my perspective, Although it is hard to require non-mainstream areas of inquiry to satisfy human's material needs by producing milk and bread, or inventing new machine, they are definitely employed to meet spiritual demands, moreover, sometimes the unique way by non-mainstream inquiry can make the effect that inaccessible by main-stream science. Hence, non-mainstream inquiry can not be replaced by mainstream science within a period for its vital function. [{开头不仅是罗嗦,而且还误解了题目的意思,题目是谈非主流科学不能被主流科学替代,你在这里大说特说物质和精神,跑题,给人印象不是很好哦,不过还好,最后一句又绕回来了.}]

Firstly, human-being is born of curiosity. Before enough study and experience, human can not explain the phenomenon such as why sun rises from east and falls in west. Because correct explanation directly without a process of cognition is unrealistic, people need an opinion regardless of whether it is scientific proved. For example before astronomy, astrology contributed greatly to answer ancestors question about the movements of stars. No matter eastern fairy from China or western legacy of ancient Greece, ancestors attempted to provide the most reasonable depiction and narration about the curious phenomena, constrained by the conditions of both human's cognition and nature's complexity. people could discard the embarrassment and distress by enjoying the non-mainstream saying. That is the consequential cause of the emergence of non-mainstream inquiry. Therefore, because of the unlimited questions, the existence of non-mainstream explanation is reasonable and even desirable.[{主题句写清楚,"因为人类的好奇心促使非主流科学的存在",如果你不那么明确的提出主题句,看起来就有点费劲,而且你这个段落也长了点,考试时没有那么多时间}]

Secondly, some phenomena shock or even frighten people, to avoid the shadow during intrinsically limited lifetime of an individual, people utilize their imagination to reassure themselves.[{这段主题是"非主流科学的好处,能给人类心理安慰"}] On one hand, the interpretations and ideologies handed down keep functioning and influencing people who are gradually unconscious about them. Do there definitely exist heaven and Eden? The answer seems not so crucial as long as people believe it and confront death calmly. Do there really exist deity and God who judge and control the world with paranormal power? [{太细了,没有必要,不象写议论文}]The only thing we make sure is people find out the shelter or harbor whenever in trouble. On the other hand, non-mainstream thinking method is distilled and regarded as an necessary illusion by modern people. Thinking in the way of non-mainstream can control emotion, appease human-being and deal with many psychological issues. No matter whether you believe it or not, it is a way of thinking to retain confidence after failure or to obtain courage before beginning. A psychological professor[{突然又冒出一个教授来了,文章结构有点乱.我建议可以这样安排,把前面的具体论述,人类对本源的追溯,对死亡的恐惧都可以简洁地说,把这个教授的话放在主题句后面,就象官方范文通才和专才的那篇一样,paraphrase一下教授的话,然后再简单的说说人类对死亡的恐惧和对本源的追溯都可以从非主流科学中得到些许安慰等等,这样结构就显得清楚了}] used to make a lecture about diversified approaches to remedy / cure distress, among which psychic pursuit and self-suggestion do benefit for psychological health. But there are by no means of science. It is the natural demands by human-being for eliminating vexation or apprehension by non-mainstream inquiries.

Thirdly, although people's cognition level increases with development of science, they still hold some old interpretations from non-mainstream inquiries, because they seem to be more relaxed than heavy and abstract science.[{比较主流科学,非主流科学的好处}] People need entertainment and relaxation rather than logical reasoning and questioning without stopping[{事实是这样吗?还是只有你这样认为,好象把人类过低估计了吧,看看你的例子先}]. For example, the widely accepted Tarot card can bring people fun and release, why not abandon it merely for its non-mainstream attribute?[{啊,这个例子?不能说服我,为什么我就不能用其他的牌呀,一样有乐趣,不过你的例子好象也有一点点道理}]

Admittedly, non-mainstream inquiries are restrained by its intrinsic nature although reasonable they are. Over-emphasizing or even depending fully on them may lead to wrong-doing. Both mainstream science and non-mainstream areas of inquiry are employed to serve for human-being, to reassure its uncertainty and curiosity, to solve problems.

In sum, even though the position of non-mainstream inquiry can never be uplift to the same level as mainstream science, it is also vital and indispensable for its particular benefits to satisfying human-being.[{结尾是写的最清楚的,而且最简洁}]

[{总体感觉,读的文章有点费劲,和我有同样的毛病,一个段落里说的东西有好多层,虽然看似相关,但是你分析一下范文就发现,一个段落就围绕一个主题展开,你看看通才和专才那篇范文.还有,你的开头段太长,没有重点,废话多多,接下来的两个段落也有一点点罗嗦,倒数第二段落又显得太单薄,可能是没有时间的缘故,不过最后一段写的比较成功,简洁.继续加油啊,}]
活在完全独立的今天里

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板凳
发表于 2005-4-6 13:21:43 |只看该作者
占位,学习你的
成功紧跟着努力
幸福紧跟着痛苦
知足常乐,能忍自安,随缘悟性,吃亏何妨。
以律人之心律己,以恕己之心恕人。

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地板
发表于 2005-4-6 18:09:10 |只看该作者
Issue41

------题目------
41"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."

------正文------
It is human-being[human being 这个词在<美国双解词典>里是一个人的意思,a member of ]that acts as the main actor on the stage of development. The need[needs 吧,题目是这么用的说] of human-being embraces spiritual realm and material realm. In my perspective, Although it is hard to require non-mainstream areas of inquiry to satisfy human's material needs by producing milk and bread, or inventing new machine, they are definitely employed to meet spiritual demands[在你看来是不是主流科学就不能满足人的心理需要了?象人文类的], moreover, sometimes the unique way by non-mainstream inquiry can make the effect that inaccessible by main-stream science. Hence, non-mainstream inquiry can not be replaced by mainstream science within a period for its [their] vital function. [开头回应的还行,点明观点,赞同作者]

Firstly, human-being is born of[出身于?] curiosity[curiosity is human beings’ natural character] . Before [grasping,前后主从句主语要一致]enough study and experience, human can not explain the phenomenon such as why sun rises from [the]east and falls in [查google 为in the west]west. Because correct explanation directly without a process of cognition is unrealistic, people need an opinion regardless of whether it is scientific proved. For example before astronomy, astrology contributed greatly to answer ancestors question about the movements of stars. No matter eastern fairy[fairies] from[of][ancient] China or western legacy of ancient Greece,[两个不对应,一个是人,一个是物] ancestors attempted to provide the most reasonable depiction and narration about the curious phenomena, constrained by the conditions of both human's cognition and nature's complexity[nature’s complexity 也是conditions?]. people could discard the embarrassment and distress by enjoying the non-mainstream saying. That is the consequential cause of the emergence of non-mainstream inquiry. Therefore, because of the unlimited questions, the existence of non-mainstream explanation is reasonable and even desirable. [这段开头没有明显的TS 句!]

Secondly, some phenomena shock or even frighten people, to avoid the shadow during intrinsically limited lifetime of an individual, people utilize their imagination to reassure themselves[imagination跟nonmainstream 有关么?nonmainstream可不是想象的啊,!(2)你的这个句子,建议作成confronting with~~~~的形式会更好]. On one hand, the interpretations and ideologies handed down keep functioning and influencing people who are gradually unconscious about them. Do there definitely exist heaven and Eden[hell地狱更好,形成对比]? The answer seems not so crucial as long as people believe it and confront death calmly. Do there really exist deity and God who judge and control the world with paranormal power? The only thing we[have made] make sure is[that表语从句that不能省] people find out the shelter or harbor whenever [they are]in trouble. On the other hand, non-mainstream thinking method is distilled and regarded as an necessary illusion by modern people.[其实作成主动语态更好一些,被动显得不活泼生动] Thinking in the way of non-mainstream[到底是用非主流的方法,还是通过非主流科学] can control emotion, appease human-being and deal with many psychological issues. No matter whether you believe it or not, it is a way of thinking to retain confidence after failure or to obtain courage before beginning. A psychological professor used to[习惯于?] make a lecture about diversified approaches to remedy / cure distress, among which psychic pursuit and self-suggestion do benefit for psychological health. But there are by no means of science.[太绝对了,蔑视现代心理学的发展?好多疗法很管用,呵呵] It is the natural demands by human-being for eliminating vexation or apprehension by non-mainstream inquiries.

Thirdly, although people's cognition level increases[水平增加?google上没找到 is enhanced] with development of science, they still hold some old interpretations from non-mainstream inquiries, because they seem to be more relaxed than heavy and abstract science[这句什么意思,seem to be more relax?]. People need entertainment and relaxation rather than logical reasoning and questioning without stopping. For example, the widely accepted Tarot card can bring people fun and release, why [do we ][not去掉] abandon it merely for its non-mainstream attribute[这句语法不对not abandon和你表达的意思恰恰相反]?

Admittedly, non-mainstream inquiries are restrained by its[their] intrinsic nature although reasonable they are[请教这种倒装?]. Over-emphasizing or even depending fully on them may lead to wrong-doing[wrong-doings]. Both mainstream science and non-mainstream areas of inquiry are employed to serve for[for去掉,serve做服务讲是vt直接跟人就行] human-being, to reassure its[是人怎么能用its?] uncertainty and curiosity, to solve problems.

In sum, even though the position of non-mainstream inquiry can never be [be uplifted] uplift to the same level as mainstream science, it is also vital and indispensable for its particular benefits to satisfying human-being. [结尾又提出新概念—非主流不能超过主流,但没说明原因啊]
[IN SUM 全文基本对题目进行了回应,还算流畅,但语法错误较多,用词不是很丰富,继续努力,加油]
成功紧跟着努力
幸福紧跟着痛苦
知足常乐,能忍自安,随缘悟性,吃亏何妨。
以律人之心律己,以恕己之心恕人。

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发表于 2005-4-6 23:41:46 |只看该作者
这个题目我觉得很难写出话来,一直都放着
学习下了……

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发表于 2005-4-7 00:38:50 |只看该作者
深有同感哪!
In VISA we trust

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发表于 2005-4-7 23:26:09 |只看该作者

Re: issue41占星学 高频题 貌似容易 实际。。。?

Issue41

------题目------
41"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."

------正文------

It is human-being that acts as the main actor on the stage of development.这句有什么用呢 The need of human-being embraces spiritual realm and material realm. In my perspective, Although it is hard to require non-mainstream areas of inquiry to satisfy human's material needs by producing milk and bread呵呵,不错, or inventing new machine, they are definitely employed to meet spiritual demands, moreover, sometimes the unique way by non-mainstream inquiry can make the effect that inaccessible by main-stream science. Hence, non-mainstream inquiry can not be replaced by mainstream science within a period for its vital function.开头入题再快点了,好多话可以放到正文里说的

Firstly, human-being is born of curiosity. Before enough study and experience, human can not explain the phenomenon such as why sun rises from east and falls in west. Because correct explanation directly without a process of cognition is unrealistic, people need an opinion regardless of whether it is scientificly proved. For example before astronomy, astrology contributed greatly to answer ancestors questioning about the movements of stars. No matter eastern fairy from China or western legacy of ancient Greece, ancestors attempted to provide the most reasonable depiction and narration about the curious phenomena, constrained by the conditions of both human's cognition and nature's complexity. people could discard the embarrassment and distress by enjoying the non-mainstream saying. That is the consequential cause of the emergence of non-mainstream inquiry. Therefore, because of the unlimited questions, the existence of non-mainstream explanation is reasonable and even desirable.

Secondly, some phenomena shock or even frighten people,要自成一句了么 to avoid the shadow during intrinsically limited lifetime of an individual, people utilize their imagination to reassure themselves. On one hand, the interpretations and ideologies handed down keep functioning and influencing people who are gradually unconscious这里是什么意思啊,没看懂 about them. Do there definitely exist heaven and Eden? The answer seems not so crucial as long as people believe it and confront death calmly. Do there really exist deity and God who judge and control the world with paranormal power? The only thing we make sure is people find out the shelter or harbor whenever in trouble.这里也不知道表达什么意思,觉得每句之间的逻辑关系不是很清楚了 On the other hand, non-mainstream thinking method is distilled and regarded as an necessary illusion by modern people. Thinking in the way of non-mainstream can control emotion, appease human-being应该加上情感等方面的词语吧,而human-being做所有格的形式。前面的那个influence people也觉得是如此,总是觉得差了点没说完。 and deal with many psychological issues. No matter whether you believe it or not, it is a way of thinking to retain confidence after failure or to obtain courage before beginning. A psychological professor used to make a lecture about diversified approaches to remedy / cure distress, among which psychic pursuit and self-suggestion do benefit for psychological health. But there are by可以不要by了 no means of science. It is the natural demands by human-being for eliminating vexation or apprehension by non-mainstream inquiries.觉得论述得不是很清楚,每句间跳动很大,联系不紧密

Thirdly, although people's cognition level increases with development of science, they still hold some old interpretations from non-mainstream inquiries, because they seem to be more relaxed than heavy and abstract science. People need entertainment and relaxation rather than logical reasoning and questioning without stopping. For example, the widely accepted Tarot card can bring people fun and release, why not abandon it merely for its non-mainstream attribute?这个方面很好哦,还可以深入点了。

Admittedly, non-mainstream inquiries are restrained by its intrinsic nature although reasonable这类学科能用reasonable形容么?既然如此了,就是带有科学性了么 they are. Over-emphasizing or even depending fully on them may lead to wrong-doing. Both mainstream science and non-mainstream areas of inquiry are employed to serve for human-being, to reassure its uncertainty and curiosity, to solve problems.

In sum, even though the position of non-mainstream inquiry can never be uplift to the same level as mainstream science, it is also vital and indispensable for its particular benefits to satisfying human-being.
这个题目确实有点难写哦。不过我觉得你思路是清晰的,但是中文的影响可能有点大,所以跳跃的很快。可是老外很傻的,所以……
今天改的有点多了,现在都有点晕。抱歉了

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发表于 2005-4-9 10:06:29 |只看该作者

谢谢大家 我改!

Issue41

------题目------
41"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."

------正文------

It is human who can not escape from dreaming of things and making lies to serve human itself. It is non-mainstream areas of inquiry that serves as a kind-hearted director to satisfy human needs that are beyond mainstream science, but quite of their kindnesses “that” leads to a reverse effect on society.

Admittedly fortune-telling or psychic pursuits can reassure human sometimes. There do exist some students who eliminating their uncertainty and vexations by predicting about tomorrow's exam by tarot cards.

However, as to the society and crucial things, that is not necessarily the case. Little harmful it is for an examinee's trustiness on fortune-telling since it is at worst no more than a wrong direction on a trivial. But when we turn to the society and observe how the non-mainstream inquiry control human's brain by utilizing the vulnerability and fragility instead of merely reassurance, we can perceive and understand satisfying human's certain needs may serve as drug addiction for increasingly dependants on mirages. The "vital" contribution to society lies on the following examples. A girl called Chen Guo regretted of self-burning after rescued by medicals for her mind was manipulated by the deity of a psychic religion at some particular time. She bogged into the mud too deep to escape from the control. Moreover, psychic pursuit is rooted at the bottom of many ordinary people. If all of them are under control of the so-called deity, the society will by no means run in normal way, let along progress. The collective suicides and bomb blasting in Japan are the result of paranormal adoration.   

Undeniably, human are reluctant to make decision by themselves, for they want to shirk the responsibility of making the wrongheaded choices and plans for themselves or their relatives. Fortune-teller and God or other deities can be of desirable objects for decision-making shifting. For instance, someone resorted to God as the guide during career selection. Even though one committed a mistake or an awkward choice, no blame will be imposed on themselves.

Considering of the intrinsic underlying apprehensions on decision-making by human, we have to suspect the non-mainstream inquires again and rethink the roles they play in society. Suppose if all the people quit when encountering crucial events, the destiny of society is either suffering from arbitrary government without common people's subversion or with people extricated from reality and discarding the obligations as a social member. The religious rule during medieval to exploiting humanity is the conspicuous example.  

In addition, someone may argue the non-mainstream inquiries explain a myriad of questions held by human, which meets the inborn and infinite curiosities from human-beings.

While, is that true that people enjoy being treated and tricked by lies as what it is in Anderson's fairy tale " The suit of the emperor"? It is science that acts as the little boy who pointed out the truth that the emperor is naked with nothing on him. The society had been cheated by astrology for a long time before astronomy. It is ridiculous to imagine astrology to commit the "impossible mission" of Moon landing and Mars research. It is also ironical to waste years of endeavor and financial aids on the professor Rhine's laboratory about paranormal ability inquiry since no evidence has ever been emerging for the validity of the research. The anti-science pursuit dooms to be a waste of energy for the society as the "permantual motion machine" which betrayed the energy equation.

In sum, although non-mainstream inquiries can achieve people's aspirations, it does not mean the necessary result of benefit for society. Quite to the contrary, they do more harm to society's security and development.
"当我卖掉金表,给你买了你心仪以久的梳子的时候,你却把头发卖掉,给我买了白金表链."

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Aquarius水瓶座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2005-4-9 15:15:52 |只看该作者
Issue41

------题目------
41"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."

------正文------

It is human 【that】who can not escape from dreaming of things and making lies to serve human itself. 【突兀跟后文缺少衔接】It is non-mainstream areas of inquiry that serves as a kind-hearted director to satisfy human needs that are beyond mainstream science, 【needs是超越主流科学的??】
Admittedly fortune-telling or psychic pursuits can reassure human sometimes. 【题目是几个方面,这里怎么只有两个了?】There do exist some students who eliminating their uncertainty and vexations by predicting about tomorrow's exam by tarot cards. 【问题还没有说明白就给出例子了,而例子并不好,另外,开头让步并不合适,而似乎这里对于非主流的作用并没有像你开头那样的赞同。】

However, as to the society and crucial things, that【what?】 is not necessarily the case. 【这样的论述实际上跟没有论述是一样的,因为,你的表达太模糊了,crucial things是什么样的事情,that是什么,case是什么,都没有交代清楚,而下面竟然就开始举例了。论证上面的问题严重】Little harmful it is for an examinee's trustiness on fortune-telling since it is at worst no more than a wrong direction on a trivial. 【琐碎?不明白为什么出现了对于应试者的论述,little害处是要说害处不大还是要说毕竟还是有害处的?】But when we turn to the society and observe how the non-mainstream inquiry control human's brain【这里又是控制人们大脑了,突然问题就严重了。首先应试者和社会是明显的对比吗?然后从危害不大到控制人脑这个转变是如何做到的?】 by utilizing the vulnerability and fragility instead of merely reassurance, we can perceive and understand satisfying human's certain needs may serve as drug addiction for increasingly dependants on mirages.【病句】 The "vital" contribution to society lies on the following examples. 【谁的贡献?】A girl called Chen Guo regretted of self-burning after rescued by medicals for her mind was manipulated by the deity of a psychic religion at some particular time. She bogged into the mud too deep to escape from the control. Moreover, psychic pursuit is rooted at the bottom of many ordinary people. If all of them are under control of the so-called deity, the society will by no means run in normal way, let along progress. The collective suicides and bomb blasting in Japan are the result of paranormal adoration.

Undeniably, human are reluctant to make decision by themselves, for they want to shirk the responsibility of making the wrongheaded choices and plans for themselves or their relatives. Fortune-teller and God or other deities can be of desirable objects for decision-making shifting. For instance, someone resorted to God as the guide during career selection. Even though one committed a mistake or an awkward choice, no blame will be imposed on themselves. 【这段什么作用?】

Considering of the intrinsic underlying apprehensions on decision-making by human, we have to suspect the non-mainstream inquires again and rethink the roles they play in society. 【上面你不是已经否定了他们的作用了?】Suppose if all the people quit when encountering crucial events, the destiny of society is either suffering from arbitrary government without common people's subversion or with people extricated from reality and discarding the obligations as a social member. The religious rule during medieval to exploiting humanity is the conspicuous example.

In addition, someone may argue the non-mainstream inquiries explain a myriad of questions held by human, which meets the inborn and infinite curiosities from human-beings.

While, is that true that people enjoy being treated and tricked by lies as what it is in Anderson's fairy tale " The suit of the emperor"? It is science that acts as the little boy who pointed out the truth that the emperor is naked with nothing on him. The society had been cheated by astrology for a long time before astronomy. It is ridiculous to imagine astrology to commit the "impossible mission" of Moon landing and Mars research. It is also ironical to waste years of endeavor and financial aids on the professor Rhine's laboratory about paranormal ability inquiry since no evidence has ever been emerging for the validity of the research. The anti-science pursuit dooms to be a waste of energy for the society as the "permantual motion machine" which betrayed the energy equation.

In sum, although non-mainstream inquiries can achieve people's aspirations, it does not mean the necessary result of benefit for society. Quite to the contrary, they do more harm to society's security and development.

   【散,零散的点,没有一个中心贯串,所以没有形成整体,论证上面问题不少,多看看范文,很多语言表达不够准确,不够具体。加油吧!】
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发表于 2005-4-9 21:24:51 |只看该作者
最初由 鬼谷子 发布
[B]Issue41

------题目------
41"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in soc..

以下省略...... [/B]


谢谢鬼鬼  有点郁闷 发现昨天看了半天的pp2范文 然后怎么越改越差~~

中心是
  让步  赞同非主流有满足人们的需要  但反对其对社会的作用   

所以2,4,6段都是靶子  3,5,7段是枪  这是俺迪想法
然后我就是把人类被非主流科学满足的三种需要罗列出来 分别一一说明其对社会无正面意义。


首段的最后半句鬼鬼是不是没扫见? It is non-mainstream areas of inquiry that serves as a kind-hearted director to satisfy human needs that are beyond mainstream science, but quite of their kindnesses “that” leads to a reverse effect on society.




中心:  
承认 satisfying human needs
但恰恰是这种满足 导致对社会的负面效应 所以反驳 vital role

然后我是不是应该在第二段说一下我的怪异思路呢?或者通过什么方式能让reviewer明白我的思路是这样的 !!

B1 非主流的满足人们需要的理由1 ---fortune-telling or psychic pursuits can reassure human sometimes.
B2 反驳1 对社会的负面影响 --- the non-mainstream inquiry control human's brain by utilizing the vulnerability and fragility instead of merely reassurance,

B3 非主流的满足人们需要的理由2 ---human shirk the responsibility of making choices to Fortune-teller and God
B4 反驳2 社会影响 --- society is arbitrary government or with people extricated from reality and discarding the obligations as a social member.

B5 非主流的满足人们需要的理由3 ---inquiries meets the inborn curiosities
B6 反驳3 对社会没意义


这样的组织方式确实很散 自己也觉得了  但是你说这样的思路可以吗  三个大并列 加以transition words 连贯  
还是这种思路很难写干脆就回到以前的三段论上面呢 ?  

鬼鬼啊 我彻底confused ~
"当我卖掉金表,给你买了你心仪以久的梳子的时候,你却把头发卖掉,给我买了白金表链."

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发表于 2005-4-9 21:34:25 |只看该作者
昨天看了pp2     思路越来越诡异  好像掉进去了

实验宣告失败
还是按照1楼的思路写比较安全

至于8楼的 没用了  
连反例都做不了  没有普遍性的问题!!
"当我卖掉金表,给你买了你心仪以久的梳子的时候,你却把头发卖掉,给我买了白金表链."

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RE: issue41占星学 高频题 貌似容易 实际。。。? [修改]

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