issue 48 历史归功于个人 高频 互拍 了啦～～

天晴了UID: 201592

48"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."

I disagree with the speaker's assertion for two reasons: the individual's significance to world history and the intrinsic requirement of history study. Thus, emphasis on individuals is understandable. Moreover, other people with contributions will not be forgotten as well, since apart from history study,we can memorize them by other means.   

On one hand, individuals are deserved of emphasis for their particular and significant function and influence on history events and trends which are far more important than groups of ordinary people. In the realm of politics and military, although only by leaders can any military task never be accomplished, leaders are decision makers and responsibility shoulders. They play a main role on history stage which can not be replaced or diminished even distracted by other people. Lincoln, as the top leader of federal government, should be emphasized on his considerations of anti-secession between southern and northern America, his strategy developing during Civil war. One word from his mouth or a single idea cross his mind may change the America history. Whereas, even ten or a hundred soldiers can not shake history. In the realm of art, masterpieces were created by famous artists, even though ordinary people provided raw materials for their creation. Without Da Vinci, Dante, or Petrach,  the trends of renaissance can not be brought out. They are masters and trends leaders running forward to guide ordinary people. If history emphasized on common people and omitted the famous few, how can people capture the essence of that period? In the realm of science, most discoveries and innovations are individual result for one's paranormal intelligence and persistence. No exaggeration to regard Copernicus as father of Geo-center study. As a result, it is fairly reasonable to concentrate on these famous individuals in almost all the fields.

On the other hand, as a study, its purpose of acquiring more values efficiently calls for representation individual research. It is not realistic to account for all the participants, since some events and trends are contributed by a myriad of people by various of approaches, including some implicit and hidden ones. For example, the novel "Gone with the wind" did stem from ordinary people, there were prototypes of the main roles depicted by Emily. But how can history researchers find out them? Furthermore, even we can make the effort to collect information about other people, the study, compared with of famous individual,  is of less use and more time.

Admittedly, other people's effects is undeniable and can be handed down through different ways, diversifying by their research values. Some common people with indispensable importance were also recorded in history books, such as some folk artist groups in ancient China and Greece since their contributions as a group can not be identified by some particular person. Still, other ways to memorize ordinary people vary from a symbol as a festival to a legacy by generations or artistic works. The international labor's day do remind us  Chicago worker strike although names of workers gone away.

In sum, individuals in history study have never been over-emphasized. It is reasonable , necessary and even desirable to focus on individuals rather than ordinary people although their effects and efforts on transforming history exist as well.

neverflyUID: 166610

I disagree with the speaker's assertion for two reasons: the individual's significance to world history and the intrinsic requirement of history study. 两个概念比较抽象，似乎下面应该具体介绍。文章直接用thus感觉没说清楚Thus, emphasis on individuals is understandable. Moreover, other people with contributionsother contributors besides the important few比较好 will not be forgotten as well, since apart from history study,we can memorize them by other means.

On one hand, individuals are deserved of deserve就可以了emphasis for their particular and significant function and influence on history events and trends which are far more important than groups of ordinary people. In the realm of politics and military, although only by leaders can any military task never be accomplished, leaders are decision makers and responsibility shouldersresponsible shoulders比较好. They play a main role on history stage which can not be replaced or diminished even distracted by other people. Lincoln, as the top leader of federal government, should be emphasized on his considerations of anti-secession between anti-secession between似乎不通southern and northern America, his strategy developing during Civil war. One word from his mouth or a single idea cross his mind may change the America history有点夸张. Whereas这个词比较好, even ten or a hundred soldiers can not shake history. In the realm of art, masterpieces were created by famous artists, even though ordinary people provided raw materials for their creation. Without Da Vinci, Dante, or Petrach, the trends of renaissance can not be brought out. They are masters and trends leaders running forward to guide ordinary people. If history emphasized on common people and omitted the famous few, how can people capture the essence of that period? In the realm of science, most discoveries and innovations are individual result for one's paranormal intelligence and persistence. No exaggeration to regard Copernicus as father of Geo-center study. As a result, it is fairly reasonable to concentrate on these famous individuals in almost all the fields.

On the other hand, as a study, its purpose of acquiring more values efficiently calls for representation individual research. It is not realistic to account for all the participants, since some events and trends are contributed by a myriad of people by various of approaches, including some implicit and hidden ones. For example, the novel "Gone with the wind" did stem from ordinary people这个例子似乎和历史有点差距, there were prototypes of the main roles depicted by Emily. But how can history researchers find out them? 反问之后最好有解释Furthermore, even we can make the effort to collect information about other people, the study, compared with of famous individual, is of less use and more timeof more time似乎不通.

Admittedly, other people's effects is undeniable and can be handed down through different ways, diversifying by their research values. Some common people with indispensable importance were also recorded in history books, such as some folk artist groups in ancient China and Greece since their contributions as a group can not be identified by some particular person.这个例子是不是属于important few里的？ Still, other ways to memorize ordinary people vary from a symbol as a festival to a legacy by generations or artistic works. The international labor's day do remind us Chicago worker strike although names of workers gone away.

In sum, individuals in history study have never been over-emphasized. It is reasonable , necessary and even desirable to focus on individuals rather than ordinary people although their effects and efforts on transforming history exist as well.

多谢你给我的批改啊。第三段立意比较新颖，第四段感觉没说清楚。语言很不错，似乎有些疑问，但是我水平不够，感觉很多地方没把握。加油！

西西UID: 196939

I disagree with the speaker's assertion for two reasons: the individual's significance to world history and the intrinsic requirement of history study. Thus, emphasis on individuals is understandable. Moreover, other people with contributions will not be forgotten as well, since apart from history study, we can memorize them by other means.

On one hand, individuals deserves emphasis for their particular and significant function and influence on history events and trends which are far more important than groups of ordinary people. In the realm of politics and military, although only by leaders can any military task never be accomplished, leaders are decision makers and responsibility shoulders. They play a main role on history stage which can not be replaced or diminished even distracted by other people. Lincoln, as the top leader of federal government, should be emphasized on（ his considerations of anti-secession between southern and northern America, his strategy developing during Civil war.）有点不大通顺呵。 One word （from his mouth） or a single idea （cross his mind ）罗嗦了，去掉比较好may change the America history. Whereas, even ten or a hundred soldiers can not shake history.这个例子太绝对了，夸张又不够详细。 In the realm of art, masterpieces were created by famous artists, even though ordinary people provided（ raw materials） 改为original shape会不会更好？for their creation. Without Da Vinci, Dante, or Petrach, the trends of renaissance can not be brought out. They are masters and trends leaders running forward to guide ordinary people. If history emphasized on common people and omitted the famous few, how can people capture the essence of that period?三个例子之间没有衔接In the realm of science, most discoveries and innovations are individual result for one's paranormal intelligence and persistence. No exaggeration to regard Copernicus as father of Geo-center study heliocentric theory?. As a result, it is fairly reasonable to concentrate on these famous individuals in almost all the fields.

On the other hand, as a study, its purpose of acquiring more values efficiently calls for representation individual research. It is not realistic to account for all the participants, since some events and trends are (contributed by ) contributions of 避免两个by重复a myriad of people by various of approaches, including some implicit and hidden ones. For example, the novel "Gone with the wind" did stem from ordinary people, there were prototypes of the main roles depicted by Emily.（ But how can history researchers find out them?）这个是不是和例子的本意有出入啊，好象是在证明小说本身了而不是历史。 Furthermore, even we can make the effort to collect information about other people, the study, compared with of famous individual, is of less use and（ more time？）.

Admittedly, other people's effects is undeniable and can be handed down through different ways, diversifying by their research values. Some common people with indispensable importance were also recorded in history books, such as some folk artist groups in ancient China and Greece since their contributions as a group can not be identified by some particular person. Still, other ways to memorize ordinary people vary from a symbol as a festival to a legacy by generations or artistic works. The international labor's day do remind us Chicago worker strike although names of workers gone away.例子好象不是很有说服力，上面不是说过士兵了吗？那十个不能说明什么，十万总行吧。你举的例子如果仔细分析的话，其实都算是individuals了，据很大的数目，并且没有了他们会怎样等等，这样才能更好的说明groups不能忽略。呵呵，不知道我表达的是不是不清楚啊。

In sum, individuals in history study have never been over-emphasized. It is reasonable , necessary and even desirable to focus on individuals rather than ordinary people although their effects and efforts on transforming history exist as well.尝试着用一下“without A…,without B…”结尾会更精彩一点的。呵呵，是DAVID教的。
总之是比我好很多的，我还不敢发自己的烂文章呢，也是第一次给别人修改，水平有限，选择性看一下吧！

西西UID: 196939

?为什么我改的没有颜色呢？郁闷ing