Issue41 第一次同主题，大家砸咯

benzherenUID: 193678

Issue 41
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.

正文
According to this statement, those nonmainstream areas of inquiry such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits satisfy human needs so that they play a vital role in our society. But in my view, these areas of inquiry do meet some human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science but they don't play a vital role and, sometimes, even do harm to society.

The most obvious function of nonmainstream areas of inquiry is to reassure human beings from time to time. For example, Astrologers create the signs of the Zodiac constructed by twelve planets i.e. constellations, each of which is assigned with a particular sign, represents basic human drives and a set of human characteristics. Each person is assigned to one of those sign according to their birth date. Sometimes people are troubled by their characters because they are always easy to get angry with other people which make them unpopular, and at that time astrology will tell you it is because of your constellation that you are born with such a character, so you don't have to blame yourself. The situation is quite similar to fortune-telling or other nonmainstream areas of inquiry. Each of us may fall across a series of things that make us feel unhappy even despair but once you resort to fortune tellers, they are most likely to tell you that these miserable are fated and you will get rid of them soon. These words are able to not only drag an extremely disappointed person back to the hopeful world but also make him more successful by shaking off this unhappiness.

In addition to reassuring human beings, nonmainstream areas of inquiry also satisfies our inborn curiosities about some mysteries beyond human beings existed knowledge. Whether in the ancient times or in modern society, there exist all kinds of phenomena that can't be explained by mainstream science. In the ancient time, people had no idea about the principles of the climate and weather of our earth so they didn't know why it rained for several months while sometimes it didn't rain for a long period. At that time people resorted to astrology in order to change the weather by their own will. The same situation happens when nowadays we don't understand UFO.

However, the positive function of these kinds of inquiry is limited and if we emphasizing its positive functions too much, it will do harm to our whole society. The nonmainstream areas of inquiry will baffle the development of the mainstream science for a certain extent. Modern psychology do help people to know themselves and relax themselves if they feel uncomfortable mentally but if people all resort to astrology or fortune-telling, the psychology will no longer have advanced progress. What worse is that these nonmainstream inquiries are entirely possible to make people negative and reasonless in the way that people merely believe their inborn destiny but not strive to change their future by their own power. It was reported that some people in China convicted that they were born to be a failure, so they suicided to end their so-called failing and miserable lives. It is more terrible that in Japan an organization called "Aum Shinri Kyo" which can be explained as "the Supreme Truth Sect" did some research in psychic and paranormal areas and their members believed that they were superior to other ordinary people so at last they used toxic gas to kill ordinary people in underground railway.

As the discussion above, nonmainstream areas of inquiry do not only reassure people and meet human beings' curiosities as well. And such functions can't be addressed by mainstream science. But its positive function is much limited compared with its negative function, so it don't play a vital role in our society and moreover we have to pay attention to its destroy to human beings.

641个字

yogurt4UID: 198389

学习学习。

staralwaysUID: 193479

呵呵，我先占座了，最迟明天贴上来。

benzherenUID: 193678

谢谢各位了，感动ing

yogurt4UID: 198389

正文
According to this statement, those nonmainstream areas of inquiry such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits satisfy human needs so that they play a vital role in our society. But in my view, these areas of inquiry do meet some human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science but they don't play a vital role and, sometimes, even do harm to society.

The most obvious function of nonmainstream areas of inquiry is to reassure human beings from time to time. For example, Astrologers create the signs of the Zodiac constructed by twelve planets i.e. constellations, each of which is assigned with a particular sign, represents basic human drives and a set of human characteristics. Each person is assigned to one of those sign signs according to their birth date. Sometimes people are troubled by their characters because they are always easy to get angry with other people 所有的人都这样吗？是不是要限定一下？which make them unpopular, and at that time astrology will tell you it is because of your constellation that you are born with such a character, so you don't have to blame yourself. 前面对星座解释得太具体，于文章的主题没什么用。The situation is quite similar to fortune-telling or other nonmainstream areas of inquiry. Each of us may fall across a series of things that make us feel unhappy even despair but once you resort to fortune tellers, they are most likely to tell you that these miserable are fated and you will get rid of them soon. 建议把you换一下，we, us, one, people都可以These words are able to not only drag an extremely disappointed person back to the hopeful world but also make him more successful by shaking off this unhappiness.
感觉写得很散。不用过多解释什么是non-mainstream areas of inquiry.例子太特殊了，似乎不够有说服力。

In addition to reassuring human beings, nonmainstream areas of inquiry also satisfies our inborn curiosities about some mysteries beyond human beings existed knowledge. Whether 不知道whether可不可以这样用 in the ancient times or in modern society, there exist exists all kinds of phenomena that can't be explained by mainstream science. In the ancient time, people had no idea about the principles of the climate and weather of our earth so they didn't know why it rained for several months while sometimes it didn't rain for a long period. At that time people resorted to astrology in order to change the weather by their own will. 这个例子和你Ts里的满足人类好奇心似乎有些不搭。The same situation happens when nowadays we don't understand UFO.
书面体中don’t 最好写成do not . 尽量不要出现缩略式。
However, the positive function of these kinds of inquiry is limited and if we emphasizing its positive functions too much, it will do harm to our whole society. 小人的拙见：您前面两段叙述的作用都不怎么地positiveThe nonmainstream areas of inquiry will baffle the development of the mainstream science for a certain extent.理由何在？  Modern psychology do help people to know themselves and relax themselves if they feel uncomfortable mentally but if people all resort to astrology or fortune-telling, the psychology will no longer have advanced progress 这又是为何？ What worse is that these nonmainstream inquiries are entirely possible to make people negative and reasonless in the way that people merely believe their inborn destiny but not strive to change their future by their own power. It was reported that some people in China convicted that they were born to be a failure, so they suicided to end their so-called failing and miserable lives. It is more terrible that in Japan an organization called "Aum Shinri Kyo" which can be explained as "the Supreme Truth Sect" did some research in psychic and paranormal areas and their members believed that they were superior to other ordinary people so at last they used toxic gas to kill ordinary people in underground railway.

As the discussion above, nonmainstream areas of inquiry do not only reassure people and meet human beings' curiosities as well. And such functions can't be addressed by mainstream science. 上文好像也没讲到吧But its positive function is much limited compared with its negative function, so it don't play a vital role in our society and moreover we have to pay attention to its destroy to human beings.
最后一段内容很多，结果有几点都没展开。似乎着眼点也在个人上，而不是像ts 说的那样是在社会的方面。
结构清楚，叙述例子的时候句子要精炼一点。

staralwaysUID: 193479

According to this statement, those nonmainstream areas of inquiry such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits satisfy human needs so that they play a vital role in our society. But in my view, these areas of inquiry do meet some human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science but they don't play a vital role and, sometimes, even do harm to society. [开头很简练，第二句立场也提得很好，但是有一个问题，就是第一句完全是在复述。复述对于文章是没有好处的，最好是给一点自己对题目的理解、分析。可以参考一下精华区G猫的帖子：https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252668。]

The most obvious function of nonmainstream areas of inquiry is to reassure human beings from time to time. For example, Astrologers create the signs of the Zodiac constructed by twelve planets i.e. [i.e.好象就是for example的意思了吧，另外这里planet也不够确切，就直接用后面的constellation就行了。]constellations, each of which is assigned with a particular sign, represents basic human drives and a set of human characteristics. Each person is assigned to one of those sign according to their birth date. Sometimes people are troubled by their characters because they are always easy to get angry with other people which make them unpopular, and at that time astrology will tell you it is because of your constellation that you are born with such a character, so you don't have to blame yourself. [这个感觉不是特别贴切。天生就是这个性格，知道这点有可能会让他们更沮丧。]The situation is quite similar to fortune-telling or other nonmainstream areas of inquiry. Each of us may fall across a series of things that make us feel unhappy even despair but once you resort to fortune tellers, they are most likely to tell you that these miserable are fated and you will get rid of them soon. These words are able to not only drag an extremely disappointed person back to the hopeful world but also make him more successful by shaking off this unhappiness. [这段感觉前后两部分的例子有点重复，区别度不够大，可以考虑把其中的一个分析地透彻一点。]

In addition to reassuring human beings, nonmainstream areas of inquiry also satisfies our inborn curiosities about some mysteries beyond human beings existed[existing] knowledge. [TS很清晰，这是个优点。]Whether in the ancient times or in modern society, there exist all kinds of phenomena that can't be explained by mainstream science. In the ancient time, people had no idea about the principles of the climate and weather of our earth so they didn't know why it rained for several months while sometimes it didn't rain for a long period. At that time people resorted to astrology in order to change the weather by their own will. The same situation happens when nowadays we don't understand UFO.[前面那个气候的例子还算可以，后面这个随手一提感觉还不如没有。这段感觉结束地太匆忙了，例子分析完最后再加点总结的东西。]

However, the positive function of these kinds of inquiry is limited and if we emphasizing its positive functions too much, it will do harm to our whole society. The nonmainstream areas of inquiry will baffle the development of the mainstream science for a certain extent. Modern psychology do help people to know themselves and relax themselves if they feel uncomfortable mentally but if people all resort to astrology or fortune-telling, the psychology will no longer have advanced progress. What worse [what's worse]is that these nonmainstream inquiries are entirely possible to make people negative and reasonless in the way that people merely believe their inborn destiny but not strive to change their future by their own power. It was reported that some people in China convicted that they were born to be a failure, so they suicided to end their so-called failing and miserable lives. It is more terrible that in Japan an organization called "Aum Shinri Kyo" which can be explained as "the Supreme Truth Sect" did some research in psychic and paranormal areas and their members believed that they were superior to other ordinary people so at last they used toxic gas to kill ordinary people in underground railway.

As the discussion above, nonmainstream areas of inquiry do not only reassure people and meet human beings' curiosities as well. And such functions can't be addressed by mainstream science. But its positive function is much limited compared with its negative function, so it don't play a vital role in our society and moreover we have to pay attention to its destroy to human beings. [开头和结尾都觉得有点单薄，可以试着加点自己的话进去，不用完全掐着题目里的语言。]

benzherenUID: 193678

起来后看到staralways和yogurt4的评点，感觉还有很多不足的地方，尽快改好后再贴上来，谢谢两位了；）