arguemnt145 高频

alloyUID: 158669

A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.


379words
In this argument, the arguer claims that people who snore are more likely to gain weight which resulted that these people should try to eat less and do more exercise than average. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that people who snore will be too tired during the day to exercise because snore will interrupt sleep. As it stands, the argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

In the first place, the arguer fails to convince us that people who snore will undoubtedly be tired in the day and do less exercise. As it is informed in the argument, the waking which is caused by sleep apnea is so briefly that it is unnoticed. So it is difficult to judge whether the man is sleeping or awake. In addition, no evidence is provided in the argument that people get to be tired because of waking up. Moreover, granted that the people who snore will be tired during the day resulted in bad sleeping condition, it does not indicate that these people will surely do less exercise. If the man is doing an onerous work, he has to do much exercise as before even though he is tired.

In the second place, the arguer claims it is snore that cause people gain weight which is unreasonable. There also exist other facts that lead the snore-people to gain weight such as the work they do, the lack of some vitamin. It is also possible that people who in weight are more likely to snore. As we know, the fat people are easier to get tired than normal people which may cause snore in the night.

Finally, to eat less and exercise more do not amount to keep fit. To eat less and exercise more is a difficult job to any people, if to a people who snore, it is even more difficult. More exercise will make the people more tired than ever and less food will not supply enough energy to a body. So goes on eating less and exercising more may cause some problems. The people who snore would better try other ways to keep fit.

In sum, the arguer does not learn about whether it is snore cause gaining weight or people who in weight likely to snore.

Danny51_^@^_UID: 202526

A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.


379words
In this argument, the arguer claims that people who snore are more likely to gain weight which resulted that these people should try to eat less and do more exercise than average. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that people who snore will be too tired during the day to exercise because snore will interrupt sleep. As it stands, the argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

In the first place, the arguer fails to convince us that people who snore will undoubtedly be tired in the day and do less exercise. As it is informed in the argument, the waking (,) which is caused by sleep apnea is so briefly that it is unnoticed. So it is difficult to judge whether the man is sleeping or awake.(这句似乎是加入了自己的观点，有点不太恰当) In addition, no evidence is provided in the argument that people get to be tired because of waking up. Moreover, granted that （the去掉） people who snore will be tired during the day resulted in bad sleeping condition, it does not indicate that these people will surely do less exercise. If the man is doing an onerous work, he has to do much exercise as before even though he is tired.（例子好像不太看得明白，可以说说反而因为累会去做更多的运动去锻炼都说不准之类）

In the second place, the arguer claims it is snore that cause people gain weight which is unreasonable. There also exist other facts that lead the snore-people to gain weight such as the work they do, the lack of some vitamin. It is also possible that people who in weight are more likely to snore. As we know, the fat people are easier to get tired than normal people（，） which may cause snore in the night.（可以加个结论如所以作者的论证被削弱了）

Finally, to eat less and exercise more do not amount to keep fit. To eat less and exercise more is a difficult job to any people, if to（去掉to, for the case that） a people who snore, it is even more difficult. More exercise will make the people more tired than ever and less food will not supply enough energy to a body. So goes on eating less and exercising more may cause some problems. The people who snore would better try other ways to keep fit.
相对第一段其他两段就似乎有点短，好像也没批那个调查，要是我一开始就狂批调查了，模板多～～哈

In sum, the arguer does not learn about whether it is snore cause gaining weight or people who in weight likely to snore.
结尾也可以多说一两句。
总体很好的，大家一起努力哦～还有一个问题，是限时的吗？

AlierUID: 159518

In this argument, the arguer claims that people who snore are more likely to gain weight which resulted that these people should try to eat less and do more exercise than average.这里似乎把结论和论据的位置写反了，我觉得应该是claim...should...because.. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that people who snore will be too tired during the day to exercise because snore will interrupt sleep. As it stands这个好像不太对, the argument suffers from several critical fallacies.开头总得来说不错，比较简洁

In the first place, the arguer fails to convince us that people who snore will undoubtedly bebe undoubtedly tired in the day and do less exercise. As it is informed in the argument, the waking which is caused by sleep apnea is so briefly that it is unnoticed. So it is difficult to judge whether the man is sleeping or awake.这句话没有意义，你是想说waking不一定让打扰他们睡眠吧？ In addition, no evidence is provided in the argument that people tend toget to be tired because of waking up. 这里最好举具体反例证明下Moreover, granted that the people who snore will be tired during the day resulted inresulting from/because of bad sleeping condition, it does not indicate that these people will surely do less exercise. If the man is doing an onerous work, he has to do much exercise as before even though he is tired.这句就证明得比较有力。

In the second place, the arguer claims it is snore that causes people togain weight， which is unreasonable. There also exist other factscauses thatmay lead the snore-people to gain weight， such as the work they do, the lack of some vitamin. It is also去掉also possible that people who in weight这个用法不对吧 are more likely to snore. As we know, the fat people are easier to get tired than normal people which may cause snore in the night.这句没有道理，为什么get tired会引起snore。最好改成说也许调查的打鼾的人本来就胖，或者甚至是他们的胖引起打鼾也不一定。

Finally, to eat less and exercise more do not amount toamount to是总计的意思，这里应该用help keep fit. To eat less and exercise more is a difficult job to anymany吧。any太绝对 people, if去掉if to a people who snore, it is even more difficult. 这里最好加上一个让步，如if accepting that snore tires people，thenMore exercise will make the people evenmore tired than ever and less food will not supply enough energy to a body. So goes on eating less and exercising more may cause some healthproblems. ThusThe people who snore would better try other ways to keep fit.

In sum, the arguer does not learn about whether it is snore thatcause gaining weight or people who in weight likely to snore是限时写的么？结尾没有时间了吧。感觉比较仓促，内容还需要丰富一下

总的来说，还是抓住了驳斥点，而且b1还是展开得不错，但后面两段没有完全展开，还需要改进下，继续加油吧～～