Issue104 同主题写作 欢迎大家拍转 有拍必回^^

sharon84UID: 2110816

参考了范文和孙远工具箱的一些资料。。。
希望大家多提意见，互拍共同进步：）

The speaker contends that a culture perpetuates the ideas it favors and discredits the ones it fears mainly through formal education. I partly agree that it is the case for the elementary education whose function primarily is cultural indoctrination. However, the speaker misunderstands the responsibility of advanced education and neglects several other means used to perpetuate ideas a culture favors and discredit the ones it fears.

I approve with the speaker's assertion with the respect to elementary education including grade school and even high school, because to some extent elementary education mainly indoctrinate students with ideas the culture favors, fundamental concepts and principles of the world, and basic skills as well. In my view, this kind of indoctrination is essential and desirable for the children to correctly set up their moral value system. Since there is no genetic transmission of virtue, it should be the task of elementary education to explicitly inculcate children with these values.  The form of rote learning of facts and figures will be appropriate to these little children who have not yet possessed sufficient intellectual capacity and real-world experiences enabling them to high level of critical and independent thinking. As a result, by the way of elementary education at the children's early age the ideas a culture favors can be passed down from one generation to another while the ones it fears are discredited.

Yet, the assertion is without any merit when it comes to the advanced education in the college and university. Genuine education, just as the ancient great philosopher Socrates once said, is not instilling the stuffing of information into a person, but rather eliciting knowledge from him. In this sense, the real purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one, not with a full one. After mastering the basic skill in mathematics, natural science and language through elementary education, the students should be taught by the advanced education how to appreciate the opposing views which will benefit them, acquire the ability of critical analysis and skepticism.  Yet, obviously college and university can not attain this mission simply by the way of instilling certain favored ideas and quashing the feared ones, thus they are not the places where a culture perpetuates some ideas and discredits others it fears.

In fact, the speaker neglects several other means by which a culture perpetuates its favored ideas and discredits feared ones. Here I just take two for instance. The first one is our law system. Government carries the weight of law and the threat of punishment on those who deviate from the law. Thereby, law forces on us the official notions of what is good for the society and quashes the ideas that is deemed to be a threat to the whole social fabric. Another one I also want to mention is the mainstream media. In various forms of television, broadcast, print and also the currently appeared Internet, mainstream media mirrors the prevailing ideas in the society and propagandizes them. Therefore, mainstream media serves as an effective tool for a culture to perpetuate favored ideas and quash feared ones.

In short, the speaker fails to differentiate the missions between elementary education and advanced education, which are both included in formal education, and hence the assertion about their cultural influences is over-generalized and not comprehensive. In addition, the speaker also overlooks some alternative ways by which a culture perpetuates mainstream ideas and discarding feared ones.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-11 at 14:26 ]

sharon84UID: 2110816

没人看，只有自己给自己顶一下了。。

vprzhsUID: 144409

up 现在帮你改。。呵呵。。等等。。
哦，谢谢你帮我看了。。最喜欢帮好女孩了。。呵呵

vprzhsUID: 144409

The speaker contends that a culture perpetuates the ideas it favors and discredits the ones(改为those可能好点点) it fears mainly through formal education. I partly agree that it is the case for the elementary education whose function primarily is cultural indoctrination. However, the speaker misunderstands the responsibility of advanced education and neglects several other means used to perpetuate ideas a culture favors and discredit the ones it fears.(教育忽视了其他的灌输途径？)

I approve with the speaker's assertion with the respect to elementary education including grade school and even high school, because to some extent elementary education mainly indoctrinate students with ideas the culture favors, fundamental concepts and principles of the world, and basic skills as well. In my view, this kind of indoctrination is essential and desirable for the children to correctly set up their moral value system. Since there is no genetic transmission of virtue, it should be the task of elementary education to explicitly inculcate children with these values.  The form of rote learning of facts and figures will be appropriate to these little children who have not yet possessed sufficient intellectual capacity and real-world experiences enabling them to high level of critical and independent thinking. As a result, by the way of elementary education at the children's early age the ideas a culture favors can be passed down from one generation to another while the ones it fears are discredited.(小学就可以填鸭么？那可是学子的最初阶段哦，一开始就来个先入为主可是会为将来的学习带来麻烦！当然我个人觉得而已！我觉得Socrates的观点无论对什么形式的教育都是可以的)

Yet(转折？), the assertion is without any merit when it comes to the advanced education in the college and university. Genuine education, just as the ancient great philosopher Socrates once said, is not instilling the stuffing of information into a person, but rather eliciting knowledge from him. In this sense, the real purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one, not with a full one. After mastering the basic skill in mathematics, natural science and language through elementary education, the students should be taught by the advanced education how to appreciate the opposing views which will benefit them, acquire the ability of critical analysis and skepticism.  Yet, obviously college and university can not attain this mission simply by the way of instilling certain favored ideas and quashing the feared ones, thus they are not the places where a culture perpetuates some ideas and discredits others it fears. (大学教育不是文化文明的工具？)

In fact, the speaker neglects several other means by which a culture perpetuates its favored ideas and discredits feared ones. Here I just take two for instance. The first one is our law system. Government carries the weight of law and the threat of punishment on those who deviate from the law. Thereby, law forces on us the official notions of what is good for the society and quashes the ideas that is deemed to be a threat to the whole social fabric. Another one I also want to mention is the mainstream media. In various forms of television, broadcast, print and also the currently appeared Internet, mainstream media mirrors the prevailing ideas in the society and propagandizes them. Therefore, mainstream media serves as an effective tool for a culture to perpetuate favored ideas and quash feared ones.

In short, the speaker fails to differentiate the missions between elementary education and advanced education, which are both included in formal education, and hence the assertion about their cultural influences is over-generalized and not comprehensive. In addition, the speaker also overlooks some alternative ways by which a culture perpetuates mainstream ideas and discarding feared ones.
(issue只是提出个话题吧,怎么可以说speaker fail to do ***呢？？这样好像Argument拉。你应该是发表你自己的看法吧，没有人去问你issue有什么逻辑谬误吧？你把高等教育与初等教育区别对待只能是你个人观点，当然，这个我不置可否！只有符合逻辑就可以了。)
(你第一段说观点，后两段有个转折，倒数最后来个补充，总结写得也很不错。。呵呵。。不知道是限时么？如果是的话那就很不错啊)
(ps: 靓女，你的语法没问题――至少我找不出毛病。就在内容上班门弄斧了。。见笑)

(我还没时间写新的。。呵呵。。写了再劳您大驾看看哦。。。。。)

vprzhsUID: 144409

The speaker contends that a culture perpetuates the ideas it favors and discredits the ones(改为those可能好点点) it fears mainly through formal education. I partly agree that it is the case for the elementary education whose function primarily is cultural indoctrination. However, the speaker misunderstands the responsibility of advanced education and neglects several other means used to perpetuate ideas a culture favors and discredit the ones it fears.(教育忽视了其他的灌输途径？)

I approve with the speaker's assertion with the respect to elementary education including grade school and even high school, because to some extent elementary education mainly indoctrinate students with ideas the culture favors, fundamental concepts and principles of the world, and basic skills as well. In my view, this kind of indoctrination is essential and desirable for the children to correctly set up their moral value system. Since there is no genetic transmission of virtue, it should be the task of elementary education to explicitly inculcate children with these values.  The form of rote learning of facts and figures will be appropriate to these little children who have not yet possessed sufficient intellectual capacity and real-world experiences enabling them to high level of critical and independent thinking. As a result, by the way of elementary education at the children's early age the ideas a culture favors can be passed down from one generation to another while the ones it fears are discredited.(小学就可以填鸭么？那可是学子的最初阶段哦，一开始就来个先入为主可是会为将来的学习带来麻烦！当然我个人觉得而已！我觉得Socrates的观点无论对什么形式的教育都是可以的)

Yet(转折？), the assertion is without any merit when it comes to the advanced education in the college and university. Genuine education, just as the ancient great philosopher Socrates once said, is not instilling the stuffing of information into a person, but rather eliciting knowledge from him. In this sense, the real purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one, not with a full one. After mastering the basic skill in mathematics, natural science and language through elementary education, the students should be taught by the advanced education how to appreciate the opposing views which will benefit them, acquire the ability of critical analysis and skepticism.  Yet, obviously college and university can not attain this mission simply by the way of instilling certain favored ideas and quashing the feared ones, thus they are not the places where a culture perpetuates some ideas and discredits others it fears. (大学教育不是文化文明的工具？)

In fact, the speaker neglects several other means by which a culture perpetuates its favored ideas and discredits feared ones. Here I just take two for instance. The first one is our law system. Government carries the weight of law and the threat of punishment on those who deviate from the law. Thereby, law forces on us the official notions of what is good for the society and quashes the ideas that is deemed to be a threat to the whole social fabric. Another one I also want to mention is the mainstream media. In various forms of television, broadcast, print and also the currently appeared Internet, mainstream media mirrors the prevailing ideas in the society and propagandizes them. Therefore, mainstream media serves as an effective tool for a culture to perpetuate favored ideas and quash feared ones.

In short, the speaker fails to differentiate the missions between elementary education and advanced education, which are both included in formal education, and hence the assertion about their cultural influences is over-generalized and not comprehensive. In addition, the speaker also overlooks some alternative ways by which a culture perpetuates mainstream ideas and discarding feared ones.
(issue只是提出个话题吧,怎么可以说speaker fail to do ***呢？？这样好像Argument拉。你应该是发表你自己的看法吧，没有人去问你issue有什么逻辑谬误吧？你把高等教育与初等教育区别对待只能是你个人观点，当然，这个我不置可否！只有符合逻辑就可以了。)
(你第一段说观点，后两段有个转折，倒数最后来个补充，总结写得也很不错。。呵呵。。不知道是限时么？如果是的话那就很不错啊)
(ps: 靓女，你的语法没问题――至少我找不出毛病。就在内容上班门弄斧了。。见笑)

(我还没时间写新的。。呵呵。。写了再劳您大驾看看哦。。。。。)

echostateUID: 194935

The speaker contends that a culture perpetuates the ideas it favors and discredits the ones it fears mainly through formal education. I partly agree that it is the case for the elementary education whose function primarily is cultural indoctrination. However, the speaker misunderstands the responsibility of advanced education and neglects several other means used to perpetuate ideas a culture favors and discredit the ones it fears.

I approve with the speaker's assertion with the respect to elementary education including grade school and even high school, because to some extent elementary education mainly indoctrinate students with ideas the culture favors, fundamental concepts and principles of the world, and basic skills as well. In my view, this kind of indoctrination is essential and desirable for the children to correctly set up their moral value system. Since there is no genetic transmission of virtue, it should be the task of elementary education to explicitly inculcate children with these values. The form of rote learning of facts and figures will be appropriate to these little children who have not yet possessed sufficient intellectual capacity and real-world experiences [ 加个that顺畅一些 ] enabling them to high level of critical and independent thinking. As a result, by the way of elementary education at the children's early age the ideas a culture favors can be passed down from one generation to another while the ones it fears are discredited [做点文字变换吧，如discredit/disbelieve/question；favor/enjoy/be fond of；fear/abhor/be afraid of].

Yet, the assertion is without any merit when it comes to the advanced education in the college and university. Genuine education, just as the ancient great philosopher Socrates once said, is not instilling the stuffing of information into a person, but rather eliciting knowledge from him. In this sense, the real purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one, not with a full one. After mastering the basic skill [skills] in mathematics, natural science and language through elementary education, the students should be taught by the advanced education how to appreciate the opposing views which will benefit them, acquire the ability of critical analysis and skepticism. Yet, obviously college and university can not attain this mission simply by the way of instilling certain favored ideas and quashing the feared ones, thus they are not the places where a culture perpetuates some ideas and discredits others it fears.

In fact [觉得你每一段开头的衔接词不够好，可能无法“讨好”那个“E-rater”], the speaker neglects several other means by which a culture perpetuates its favored ideas and discredits feared ones [别忘了文字变换噢：P]. Here I just take two for instance. The first one is our law system. Government carries the weight of law and the threat of punishment on those who deviate from the law. Thereby, law forces on us the official notions of what is good for the society and quashes the ideas that is deemed to be a threat to the whole social fabric. Another one I also want to mention is the mainstream media. In various forms of television, broadcast, print and also the currently appeared Internet, mainstream media mirrors the prevailing ideas in the society and propagandizes them. Therefore, mainstream media serves as an effective tool for a culture to perpetuate favored ideas and quash feared ones.

In short, the speaker fails to differentiate the missions between elementary education and advanced education, which are both included in formal education, and hence the assertion about their cultural influences is over-generalized and not comprehensive. In addition, the speaker also overlooks some alternative ways by which a culture perpetuates mainstream ideas and discarding feared ones.
[论点是提纲上的，所以也就挑不出什么毛病了，但是我觉得要是真考这篇，这么写，估计大家一起算作“cheating”。]
[你的文字功底真的不错，考过T了？还是背过一些句子？总之句式很丰富，而且读起来很顺畅，值得admire：p
我帮别人改作文通常都是改一片，因为肯定有很多语言错误，不过这次没辙了，没挑出什么来。]
[每一篇issue都有一些关键词的，比如这篇的favor，perpetuate，discredit，fear都是，这些词应该提前准备一下同义词，这样可以做一些文字变换，绝对是语言亮点!]

echostateUID: 194935

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=298241
请指教

sharon84UID: 2110816

谢谢楼上同学cautious的修改 ^^
to vprzhs：
开头段我想说的是作者忽视了文化传承的其他途径，而不是教育；
fails to 是受写argu的影响，下次一定改 ：p
:L 这是我的第二篇Issue，还没限时，正在为自己的速度着急ing ：（

to echostate：
T明年考呢，因为参考了其他的文章，所以用词都仔细斟酌过
但也因为这个，严重影响速度。。。
ps. 不好意思哦，昨天没来家园，现在就帮你看：）