不怕被拍的很惨的人请进(义务改文章)

esmeirasUID：202885

argument50, 彗星撞地球，　不要客气！
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=299741

victor2005UID：2106670

谢谢，辛苦了！
issue104 有提纲
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=299787

xinxingUID：2112959

上次看了您给改的ARGU，觉得帮助很大，实在太感谢您了
能否再帮忙看篇ISSUE10，不胜感激

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

ceciliarenUID：138976

issue 104,请楼主狠拍,谢谢:)

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

icefighterUID：155440

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=300032

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D4

lingli_xiaoaiUID：172506

今天到89楼,估计最多再进行到90楼,请跟贴的人耐心等待,还是鼓励互改,还是声明我不是牛人,还是谢谢大家支持,希望你们都能考出好成绩,杀G成功.

傻妞UID：2112292

还有一个月考，不知道自己水平怎么样，自己是觉得思路特别慢，词也很贫。请灰原多多赐教吧！

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=300056

Alex_5167UID：204237

小哀改的issue很有帮助，第一次发argu，麻烦也看看。谢谢。
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
:kiss:

ardorousUID：2115432

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=299010板

fhxyweiUID：157384

Issue150:https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... ighlight=%2Bfhxywei

lemon4146UID：2116587

这是我的处子作文章,请多指:)Argument 145
In this argument, the arguer claims that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to excise more. To support the recommendation, the arguer provides a survey that people who snores  are more likely to gain weight than people who do not snore. the arguer also cites that snoring can cause sleep apnea that may make people too tired during the day to exercise. This argument relies on several dubious assumptions and is therefore unconvincing.

First of all, the arguer fails to acknowledge and rule out other possible causes of people’s weight gain. Perhaps it is people’s other habits that affect body weight. Unless the arguer demonstrate that there’s a strong relation between snoring and weight gain, we can not accept the arguer’s recommendation.

Secondly, even if there’s a causal relationship between snoring and weight gain, the arguer can not advise that “anyone who snores” should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. While it is true of many people who snores are more likely to gain weight, it is not true of everyone. Without ruling out this possibility, the arguer should limit the advice to those who snores cause weight gain.

Finally, the arguer assumes that weight gain is one of the cause of sleep apnea. But the argument provides no credible evidence that this is the case. Unless the arguer can justify that is the case, we can not convince eating less and exercising more is helpful.

In sum, the recommendation relies on several certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the claim, the arguer must provide more evidence. Such evidence should including the following: statistics showing that the samples that suggest that people who snore suffers from sleep apnea are representative enough to reflect all the people who snores suffers from sleep apnea; a survey showing that the weight gain is one of the cause of sleep apnea. To better assess the argument, I would need information of the survey.

GladysryUID：198609

先谢谢小哀拉。
这是我的第一篇argument,我是不怕死滴……

拍得越惨，学到得越多。
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

clearbabyUID：2114410

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

liulin12369UID：2112878

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
尽量帮我看看吧，上次的你说别人改过了，这次没有的~~~555

Nicky_hkUID：2105861

我为小哀鼓掌！！！楼主这么辛苦改文章真是不容易，其实楼上几位可以互相改一下嘛，减少一下楼主的工作量！