不怕被拍的很惨的人请进(义务改文章)

lingli_xiaoaiUID: 172506

我拍人一般都是很惨的,快考了别找我
要是被拍得很惨,不要怪我!
我不是高手,对改作文的人的水平要求高的也不要找我:L

感觉这里很忙,我只是来帮帮忙,需要的请发连接到下面---

另外: 不要用范文来考验我,从来不帮别人改的不看,看一段就发现5个低级语法错误的人不看,自己没有认真改过的人的文章不看.我改一篇都要用半个多小时到一个小时,你自己首先要认真改过才行.

[ Last edited by lingli_xiaoai on 2005-7-11 at 09:52 ]

mickyeUID: 198329

http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2
我吧
最好再给个整体评价吧
多谢了～

cold_sunUID: 210524

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

谢谢啊，，，不怕死……

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

我的习作连接，谢谢
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ight=%2Bzealpaladin

Lyon_TonyUID: 178961

被她拍完了你都没有活的勇气了

但是确实很收益

lignumvitaeUID: 207532

开始造argument了，有空帮忙提意见啊，谢谢！  
第一篇https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D5

第二篇https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

sunnyliuchinaUID: 203969

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=297794
拍拍俺的提纲吧，等俺水平高了，不回误认子弟了，俺也去拍别人，拼命的拍，咣咣的拍......

lingli_xiaoaiUID: 172506

大家等一会,我已经改完二楼了,我吃完饭回来继续
我会尽力帮你们都改的,耐心一点.

gglnba1UID: 202786

偶的,哈哈,老兄OR老?   你是过来人吗?

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

chenda8201UID: 171368

我最近也拍人不少，也够狠的，
就想有人“报复”我呢
多谢了:handshake



Argument37
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=296307

Issue212
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=296939

Issue104
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=297426

liulin12369UID: 2112878

10,Government must ensure that their major cities recieve the financial support they need in order to thrive ,because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
      Nation's cultural traditions,broadly defined as the entire spiritual wealth of  a certain nation,has a long history to come  into being.In the ancient time,man cannot stand  the natural disaster or the wild animals alone,they get together and lately,they build their own country in which people have their exclusive culture.It is the cultrure that shared by all the people of a nation,and this kind of culture almost generated and preservesd in the major cities ,for it is without doubt that the major cities always have a long history and the most important historical events often involve them.So I agree with the assertion above for three reasons.
        Firstly ,the major cities have an advantage in concentration of geography beyond the dispersive  local places.Consider the fact that the major cities always  lie in the main vein of the national traffic,so it is quite convenient to reach the remains of the culture.In the contrary, in China ,one of the Chinese 56 races named Zang settled in the tableland on which even the air is not sufficient for general people to breathe,and the railway could send a person there for several days from the major citis.Meanwhile, there are so many places with a suffering condition and a hard-reaching location.If a country intend to take action to support all of  them,it is a all-consuming and almost impossible task indeed.
       Secondly,the major cities'culture is definitely the mainstream culrture,and the  most people could cognize it   ,be proud of it and inclined to strengthen it.For instance,in the Peking city,there are the Great wall which was build in the Qing Dynasty thousands of years ago,the Forbidden city which may be regarded as a  witness of  Chinese modern times,the Gate of Heavenly Peace where  the new  country was born.In the other countries,for example,Egypt,the most fantastic building ------the Pyramid which attract lots of scientists to study in it also lie in the major city. All of  this prove  that  the core memory of the motherland  in the people's mind and the most valuable remains of history are the major city culture.
       Thirdly,only if  the major cities  received the goverment's offer,could they protect and  develop the culture.First of all,this project I have illustrated  often need a large sum of money ,and the individuals cannot afford such a astronomical figure.on the contrary,local cluture could come down just in daily life.For example,in some area in China,mother is the leader of the whole family,and the man should move to his wife's house ,and the woman decide the main thing of this race.They have thier own words called Woman Race Word,and the mother hand it down to her daughter in order to  preserve this culture.Second,it is not save to let the common mass to achieve this goal,for some of this remains is very precious,and it calls for a legal and formal approach .Government maybe the fittest role to do this.
       In conclusion,gcvernment should support the major cities in financial facet for the culture reasons.

liulin12369UID: 2112878

150,Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited.As a result ,tourism will soon become obsolete.
     What intrigue the tourist' desire to visit the sight spot?The curiosity across the daily life styles or the landscape around catches the explorers' attention,so they decide to depart from the place with which they are quite familiar and pursue a different view  and experience to extend their horizon and enrich  their life story.Not only the adventurers but also the common individuals are engaged in this kind of sport.Nowadays,along with the development of the science and technology ,the information media such as television and woldwide computer  provid a digital  connection between the tour planner and the sight spot.A issue aroused in this point,will the tour planners change their decisions because of this kind of contact with their dreaming Shangrila?I assert no, for the following reasoning.
     To some extend ,the utilization of telecision and network provide the viewers a global link and partially satisfy their appetite for a fantastic place to visit.For the convenience,they may catch the informations merely by pressing some buttons and clicking  the mouse,or,just watching TV and say "Wow".In my opinion,the kind of satisfaction is called "paint a cake and the hunger will gone"in China,and this is just a good preparation for the excursion.From the digital window ,the tourist could acquire the immediate information about the traffic,the travelling expense,the climate of the destination.Also,if there are insuperable reasons ,for instance,short of money,disease,ocripplehood,etc,I could suggest the digital and false tour.
      But,if all the condition support this travelling,the decision merely sitting behind the media and receiving the report devised  by other people's taste is not so wise,for the pictures and vedio are not enough to satisfy  the explorers's curiosity.What could the media offer?Even if the best deviser ,could only  offer three facts to the audience:picrure,sound and the combining of the  facts.The audience may complain:"Why need I watch this?A movie could provide all this element in a attractive and miraculous way.Why not go to a theatre and enjoy my pop corn?"Moreover,the angle of view to the place is veried from person to person.The beauty point is not always the same for all the visiters.How could one who prefer peaceful shores in the sun set enjoy  the scene  of beach boiling by the jollification?  (乱了，这一段好长，是不是考虑从这里拆开了，理由怎么越说越多，汗）Another reason,the need of  refreshing from hard work  calls for the real excursion.Princess Sissi,the queen of Austria in the 18th,had suffered a sickness because of the complex  etiquette in the palace,and then her husband Franz took her along leave this palace and go to her childhood place in which  her illness is healed.Most  importantly ,the desire for a real personal experience to extend and enrich our life put the emphasis on this point.A several-days' sleep in the Mongolian tent,a chewing of  barbecue  beside the needfire,a first  sitting on the horse,offer us the real feeling,not only the sight and hearing but also the touch and smell,and the most important thing----memory.Taking something to home,no matter the photos,the souvenir,or the anything you like,could presenve this trip in the rest of your life.(这个句子乱了，人称也乱了，但是我写的快要抓狂了！）
      In sum,despite the development of the modern  information linkers,like televisions and  webs,the real excursion could not be replaced,however ,the technology eliminate the distance between the person and the land scope,and rouse more curiosity and then enhance the motivation to start this trip.So,in this condition,there will be more and more people join  in the stream of travelling and the tourism will thrive quite soon.

angelloverUID: 199157

issue104
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... light=%2Bangellover

谢谢啊

aurora1206UID: 181614

ISSUE104,我的第一篇，希望狠狠拍，别留情。。。麻烦你了，thanks.

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

Lyon_TonyUID: 178961

这么多。。。
累死灰原了