Issue159 7月机井题，没准备提纲直接写的，天马行空的那种，互拍哦！

fhxyweiUID: 157384

Issue159: 532 words  45 minutes
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

Nowadays there is a growing concern that whether some day the man-made robot will become so intelligent that they can dominate we human beings. At first glance, this worry seems to be reasonable for the increasing importance of the machines that has influenced human life everywhere. However, I still fundamentally agree with the speaker that the human being will always be superior to machines and can in control of them.

Admittedly, the machines of artificial intelligence nowadays have penetrated into many fields and has performed some stupendous abilities in computing, memorizing and processing datum and so on. The typical machine is the computer, which represents a breakthrough of technology that human's thought can be partly replaced by it. With the help of computer, modern people are able to do many kinds of work that would have consumed a lot of human time and energy before. What’s more, many nations such as America, Japan have invented some robots that can imitate human's thoughts and behaviors. They are applied into some dangerous working occasions where people would run a tremendous risk of accomplishing those works. For example: the exploration in the bottom of the sea. In this sense, some people cannot help worrying that we human beings are inferior to the man made machines.

However, machines are just machines, which cannot compared with human beings at all. First of all, machines, no matter how intelligent they are, can just think in a way according the human's original plans. All the machines can do is just replacing human's work in a faster, more efficient way. All their thinking is just rigid logic ones set by a specific program in advance by human beings. Secondly, The reason why the machines are inferior to human mind is that machines can never create anything at all, which is the unique characteristic that has distinguished human beings from any other plants, animals and anything else in this world. Particularly, the machine is the very invention of we human beings. Finally, human mind is superior to machines in that people have emotions and some other thinking ways that have transcended the pure logic thinking that can also be equipped in machines. For example, the inspiration of human beings has helped mankind create many miracles that cannot be explained by the logic thinking. This advantage, however, can never be owned by machines.

Of course, it is necessary to inform the modern people of the risk of depending too much on machines. Hardly can we find some people who can lead a comfortable life without using today's advanced machines nowadays. Once modern people were deprived of utilizing phones, computers, automobile and so on, most of them would suffer from a psychological disorder and displacement. And they can hardly lead an independent life without machines. Whether all the machines have brought human beings the happiness or not is still open to doubt. Sometimes, they just make people more busy, complex and uncomfortable. In a word, we should not be in control of machines psychologically, which, to some extent, can represent one kind of superiority to human mind.

In my final analysis, human beings are so unique and great that any machines cannot be compared. What people should do is to keep an eye to the risk of indulging into using machines too much and losing themselves in this machine world.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-15 at 22:13 ]

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

前几段写的很不错了，第四段有点离题目远了点，另外关于未来的论述少了点，不够让人信服

fhxyweiUID: 157384

未来怎么论述，顶多是一种想象和推测，还要请教楼主

ahqiuUID: 207682

你终于又开始写了，天天都想着向你学习哩，呵呵

ahqiuUID: 207682

Issue159: 532 words  45 minutes
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

Nowadays there is a growing concern that whether some day the man-made robot will become so intelligent that they can dominate we human beings. At (the) first glance, this worry seems to be reasonable for the increasing importance of the machines that has influenced human life everywhere. However, I still fundamentally agree with the speaker that the human being(加s吗) will always be superior to machines and can in control of them.

Admittedly, the machines of artificial intelligence nowadays have penetrated into many fields and has（have） performed some stupendous abilities in computing, memorizing and processing datum and so on. The typical machine is the computer, which represents a breakthrough of technology that human's thought can be partly replaced by it. With the help of computer, modern people are able to do many kinds of work that would have consumed a lot of human time and energy before. What’s more, many nations such as America, Japan have invented some robots that can imitate human's thoughts and behaviors. They are applied into some dangerous working occasions where people would run a tremendous risk of accomplishing those works. For example:（逗号，据说冒号最好不用的，直接在work后面用，such as~~~） the exploration in the bottom of the sea. In this sense, some people cannot help worrying that we human beings are inferior to the man made（man-made） machines.

However, machines are just machines, which cannot compared （compare）with human beings at all. First of all, machines, no matter how intelligent they are, can just think in a way according the human's original plans. All the machines can do is just replacing human's work in a faster, more efficient way. All their thinking is just rigid logic ones set by a specific program in advance by human beings. Secondly, The reason why the machines are inferior to human mind is that machines can never create anything at all, which is the unique characteristic that has distinguished human beings from any other plants, animals and anything else in this world. Particularly, the machine is the very invention of we human beings. Finally, human mind is superior to machines in that people have emotions and some other thinking ways that have transcended the pure logic thinking that can also be equipped in machines. For example, the inspiration of human beings has helped mankind create many miracles that cannot be explained by the logic thinking. This advantage, however, can never be owned by machines.
很有条理Of course, it is necessary to inform the modern people of the risk of depending too much on machines. （这么开头不是特别好，of course）Hardly can we find some people who can lead a comfortable life without using today's advanced machines nowadays. Once modern people were deprived of utilizing phones, computers, automobile and so on, most of them would suffer from a psychological disorder and displacement. And they can hardly lead an independent life without machines. Whether all the machines have brought human beings the happiness or not is still open to doubt. Sometimes, they just make people more busy, complex and uncomfortable. In a word, we should not be in control of machines psychologically, which, to some extent, can represent one kind of superiority to human mind.
（这段的条理有点不清楚呵，真是天马行空，呵呵，前面说不能independent，后面说更加busy之类，虽然都是隐患，但缺乏条理，最后一句，因为我们在心理上的依赖，就能说它人类强，这个逻辑大概不对吧）
In my final analysis, human beings are so unique and great that any machines cannot be compared（这个用的不好）. What people should do is to keep an eye to the risk of indulging into using machines too much and losing （lost）themselves in this machine world.
限时还没有提纲写成这样真的很不错了，呵呵，这次终于没觉得你都是长句了

ahqiuUID: 207682

有空帮我看看吧，多谢
issue36
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D101

fhxyweiUID: 157384

1,看来我第三个body确实有点强词夺理，我的意思是，机器可能从心理上控制人类，提醒人类machines 可能在这个意思上superior to human

看来这段要删掉重来

edgarluUID: 203648

Issue159 7月机井题，没准备提纲直接写的，天马行空的那种，互拍哦！

Issue159: 532 words  45 minutes
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

Nowadays there is a growing concern that whether some day the man-made robot will become so intelligent that they can dominate we human beings. At first glance, this worry seems to be reasonable for the increasing importance of the machines that has influenced human life everywhere.[inflence human life everywhere和robotic intelligence，智能和影响力没有必然联系] However, I still fundamentally agree with the speaker that the human being will always be superior to machines and can in control of them.

Admittedly, the machines of artificial intelligence nowadays have penetrated into many fields and has performed some stupendous abilities in computing, memorizing and processing datum and so on. The typical machine is the computer, which represents a breakthrough of technology that human's thought[thoughts不妥，maybe brainwork] can be partly replaced by it. With the help of computer, modern people are able to do many kinds of work that would have consumed a lot of human time and energy before. What’s more, many nations such as America, Japan have invented some robots that can imitate human's thoughts and behaviors. They are applied into some dangerous working occasions where people would run a tremendous risk of accomplishing those works. For example: the exploration in the bottom of the sea. In this sense, some people cannot help worrying that we human beings are inferior to the man made machines.

However, machines are just machines, which cannot compared with human beings at all. First of all, machines, no matter how intelligent they are, can just think in a way according the human's original plans. All the machines can do is just replacing human's work in a faster, more efficient way. All their thinking is just rigid logic ones set by a specific program in advance by human beings. Secondly, The reason why the machines are inferior to human mind is that machines can never create anything at all, which is the unique characteristic that has distinguished human beings from any other plants, animals and anything else in this world.[create something不是人类区别去其他生物的特性吧，蜘蛛还会结网呢] Particularly, the machine is the very invention of we human beings.[这句话对上面的观点没有支持作用] Finally, human mind is superior to machines in that people have emotions and some other thinking ways that have transcended the pure logic thinking that can also be equipped in machines. For example, the inspiration of human beings has helped mankind create many miracles that cannot be explained by the logic thinking. This advantage, however, can never be owned by machines.

Of course, it is necessary to inform the modern people of the risk of depending too much on machines. Hardly can we find some people who can lead a comfortable life without using today's advanced machines nowadays. Once modern people were deprived of utilizing phones, computers, automobile and so on, most of them would suffer from a psychological disorder and displacement. And they can hardly lead an independent life without machines. Whether all the machines have brought human beings the happiness or not is still open to doubt. Sometimes, they just make people more busy, complex and uncomfortable. In a word, we should not be in control of [是被control吧]machines psychologically, which, to some extent, can represent one kind of superiority to[of] human mind.

In my final analysis, human beings are so unique and great that any machines cannot be compared. What people should do is to keep an eye to the risk of indulging into using machines too much and losing themselves in this machine world.

楼主文笔颇为流畅，在天马行空的前提下能写出这样的结构，其炉火纯青的程度也令人叹服，只不过关于人工智能与人类智能部分的论述略显单薄。因为我原来学的是计算机，可能对这部分内容比较敏感，其实如果我写这篇文章一定持反观点，这种主观性在一定程度上可能也会影响对楼主该部分叙述的评价，搞技术或是搞过技术的人的通病。
有一点略有质疑，通篇主旨是支持原题论点，但楼主采用了让步—支持—让步这样的框架，两次让步对整体的说服力会有影响么？通篇读下来感觉好像没问题，但这个问题还值得与楼主探讨。
本人今天下午的拙作，有空不吝赐拍
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

fhxyweiUID: 157384

谢谢楼主修改，我给你拍

思念谁UID: 2115428

1）注意题干的时态。

2）看了你的文章，没有说服我相信在将来人类依旧能驾驭机器。将来的事谁都说不准。

3）机器是人发明的就得出人能驾驭机器，这个逻辑说不通！

fhxyweiUID: 157384

Originally posted by 思念谁 at 2005-7-18 16:09
1）注意题干的时态。

2）看了你的文章，没有说服我相信在将来人类依旧能驾驭机器。将来的事谁都说不准。

3）机器是人发明的就得出人能驾驭机器，这个逻辑说不通！

机器是人发明的就得出人能驾驭机器，这个逻辑说不通

我也不是只是说了机器人是人发明的这一点，而是指出了机器人不具备控制人的能力，从几方面说的

ssskyUID: 204142

Issue159 7月机井题，没准备提纲直接写的，天马行空的那种，互拍哦！

Issue159: 532 words  45 minutes
The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

........................

However, machines are just machines, which cannot compared with human beings at all. First of all, machines, no matter how intelligent they are, can just think in a way according the human's original plans. All the machines can do is just replacing human's work in a faster, more efficient way. All their thinking is just rigid logic ones set by a specific program in advance by human beings. Secondly, The reason why the machines are inferior to human mind is that machines can never create anything at all, which is the unique characteristic that has distinguished human beings from any other plants, animals and anything else in this world. Particularly, the machine is the very invention of we human beings. [我也觉得这句话可以不要,对你的第二个理由没有支持,另外,说creativity是唯一的区别也不够完善,人类的思维活动我觉得可以这样描述:observe(study),think,summarize,then create]Finally, human mind is superior to machines in that people have emotions and some other thinking ways that have transcended the pure logic thinking that can also be equipped in machines. For example, the inspiration of human beings has helped mankind create many miracles that cannot be explained by the logic thinking. This advantage, however, can never be owned by machines.

Of course, it is necessary to inform the modern people of the risk of depending too much on machines. Hardly can we find some people who can lead a comfortable life without using today's advanced machines nowadays. Once modern people were deprived of utilizing phones, computers, automobile and so on, most of them would suffer from a psychological disorder and displacement. And they can hardly lead an independent life without machines. Whether all the machines have brought human beings the happiness or not is still open to doubt. Sometimes, they just make people more busy, complex and uncomfortable. In a word, we should not be in control of machines psychologically, which, to some extent, can represent one kind of superiority to human mind.

In my final analysis, human beings are so unique and great that any machines cannot be compared. What people should do is to keep an eye to the risk of indulging into using machines too much and losing themselves in this machine world.
关于人类对机器的依赖,我觉得有点跑题,呵呵,个人觉得:),如果觉得文章论证不够的话,可以在人类高于机器那一段再详细论证,或者可以做一个让步:不排除人工智能可以一步步地模仿人类地思维,直到机器可以自我进化超越人类也是可能的,呵呵,科幻看多了

我的烂文,没人帮我改...:https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ;highlight=issue159

[ Last edited by sssky on 2005-7-19 at 09:32 ]