issue51 教育，又发现一类不擅长的，欢迎互拍

ahqiuUID: 207682

Issue51
——题目——
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
——正文——
It is true that our education system should meet the interests and needs of each student as possible as it could. However, this is not the pith of our education. As far as I am concerned, the true effective education should provide the students basic knowledge and skills which will help them not only to survive, but also thrive in their future life. In this sense, I probably disagree with the speaker and the reasons are shown as follows.

To begin with, the purpose of education is to provide students with fundamental knowledge and principles which are essential for physical and intellectual development, and only when our education attains this goal can it be evaluated as effective. As we know, the education system has already designed various curriculums to develop students' abilities in order to better adapt them to their future life. For example, literature and foreign language endow them with language-skills; science and mathematics help to train logical and critical thinking; and social studies teach them the main values of human society, such as, tolerance, respect and cooperation. Without these skills a student can hardly survive not to mention thrive in their future life. On the contrary, if our education system reaches this goal which ensures the students well-informed, there may be larger space left to the students to develop their interests in future, for only when people have enough capacity to subsist themselves, do they have other desires like the fulfillment of their interests.

In addition, if our education system designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, it may probably lose its target. Suppose an education system which design to meet the individual needs, this kind of education tend to narrow students' ken and capability of acclimation to future career, because of the over-specified study. Our experience tell us whatever subjects you have learnt in your school, have rarely relationship with what your job will be in the future. Time and environment change and people have to ordinate their lifestyle. Furthermore, as the students are not mature enough, their interests will probably change when they meet difficulties or any other influence from the outside world, so does it to say our education should change, either. As a result, the education system will not work effectively but only in chaos. In this sense, it is impossible for education to meet the desire of each student

Admittedly, I have to concede that it is beneficial for our education system to provide certain curriculums to meet a group of students' common interests, but not individual’s. It will help the students not only to enrich their after class time but also find where their interests really lie. Moreover, actually, the parents and society may be helpful in this process if they provide them with more opportunities to join in various activities.

To sum up, it is impossible for our education system to meet individual needs and interests. To be truly effective, our education system should firstly fulfill its basic purpose so as to provide the students with better future life. And at the same time, it should augment more kinds of curriculums which help the students to be well-rounded.

xinxingUID: 2112959

水平有限,不怎么会改
只能帮你顶下了呵
不过你写得真是好
无论是论证还是词汇
好好向你学习~~

ahqiuUID: 207682

开什么玩笑，这篇几乎就没什么例子，写是写得很快，就是内容太空了，呵呵，睡觉去

xinxingUID: 2112959

我觉得最后一段可以写下教育符合每个学生的需要不合实际
个人的兴趣不同，也没有那么多的老师和相应的设备
过分强调兴趣培养反而会dilute the effiency of education
和和，又看了一边
好象science and mathematics 不能增加critical thinking 吧

ahqiuUID: 207682

还有没有大虾帮偶看看哩，教育类的文章写起来像是很空泛，会不会把别人看烦啦

edgarluUID: 203648

Issue51
——题目——
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
——正文——
It is true that our education system should meet the interests and needs of each student as possible as it could. However, this is not the pith of our education. As far as I am concerned, the true effective education should provide the students basic knowledge and skills which will help them not only to survive, but also [to] thrive in their future life. In this sense, I probably disagree with the speaker and the reasons are shown as follows.

To begin with, the purpose of education is to provide students with fundamental knowledge and principles which are essential for physical and intellectual development, and only when our education attains this goal can it be evaluated as effective. As we know, the education system has already designed various curriculums to develop students' abilities in order to better adapt them to their future life. For example, literature and foreign language endow them with language-skills; science and mathematics help to train logical and critical thinking; and social studies teach them the main values of human society, such as, tolerance, respect and cooperation. Without these skills a student can hardly survive not to mention thrive in their future life. On the contrary, if our education system reaches this goal which ensures the students well-informed, there may be larger space left to the students to develop their interests in future, for only when people have enough capacity to subsist themselves, do they have other desires like the fulfillment of their interests.[最后一句话不敢苟同，举个虽不雅但很鲜明的例子，古人云饱暖思淫，说得是后者是前者的结果，但前者不是后者的必要条件。]
[另外关于此段论点，provide students with fundamental knowledge and principle 和 specifically designed education好像不是严格的对立面，根据兴趣特制未必就会不教基本课程，可能只不过是课程比率不同。当然了，楼主可能是从讨论衡量教育effectiveness的标准着手，不一定要和题中所提的标准完全对立，但至少要说明题中的标准和你的标准不重复或者不互相包含，可能说得太罗嗦了。简单的说，就是你倡导的基础知识教育能做到的，特种教育做不到]

In addition, if our education system [is] designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, it may probably lose its target. Suppose an education system which design to meet the individual needs, this kind of education tend to narrow students' ken and capability of acclimation to future career, because of the over-specified study. Our experience tell us whatever subjects you have learnt in your school, have rarely relationship with what your job will be in the future.[过于绝对了，rarely程度太深，且位置放错了] Time and environment change and people have to ordinate [这词楼主不是第一次用了，我查过两种字典软件和encarta，没有看到拿ordinate作动词的，是不是coordinate？] their lifestyle. Furthermore, as the students are not mature enough, their interests will probably change when they meet difficulties or any other influence from the outside world, so does it to say our education should change, either[这是个问句么？]. As a result, the education system will not work effectively but only in chaos. In this sense, it is impossible for education to meet the desire of each student [上面论证的是特种教育不可行，而不是不可为(impossible)，结尾同]

Admittedly, I have to concede that it is beneficial for our education system to provide certain curriculums to meet a group of students' common interests, but not individual’s. It will help the students not only to enrich their after class time but also [to] find where their interests really lie. Moreover, actually, the parents and society may be helpful in this process if they provide them with more opportunities to join in various activities.

To sum up, it is impossible for our education system to meet individual needs and interests. To be truly effective, our education system should firstly fulfill its basic purpose so as to provide the students with better future life. And at the same time, it should augment more kinds of curriculums which help the students to be well-rounded.

事例确实略显不够，第三个观点其实可以加个别事例扩展一下，相关的例子也比较好找，比如说sports games，music bands, chearleading，孙远百宝箱里有一段专门讲这个。
本人昨天的作文，望赐拍


[ Last edited by edgarlu on 2005-7-17 at 12:57 ]

ahqiuUID: 207682

多谢，我会好好改的，看起来约好写的题目，好像越难写啊

fhxyweiUID: 157384

越是这种看来普通的题目，越难写得深刻，因为大家都有话说，很可能千篇一律

ahqiuUID: 207682

同感啊

iPodUID: 2105485

顶啊！

iPodUID: 2105485

It is true that our education system should meet the interests and needs of each student as possible as it could. However, this is not the pith of our education. As far as I am concerned, the true [truly]  effective education should provide the students [+with] basic knowledge and skills which will help them not only to survive, but also thrive in their future life. In this sense, I probably disagree with the speaker and the reasons are shown as follows. [开头有些长，重复]

To begin with, the purpose of education is to provide students with fundamental knowledge and principles which are essential for physical and intellectual development, and only when our education attains this goal can it be evaluated as effective.[不错的一句！]  As we know, the education system has already designed various curriculums to develop students' abilities in order to better adapt [？有这种用法吗？还是我才疏学浅~] them to their future life. For example, literature and foreign language endow them with language-skills; science and mathematics help to train logical and critical thinking; and social studies teach them the main values of human society, such as, tolerance, respect and cooperation. Without these skills a student can hardly survive [加个，]not to mention thrive in their future life. On the contrary, if our education system reaches this goal which ensures the students well-informed, there may be larger space left to the students to develop their interests in future, for only when people have enough capacity to subsist themselves, do they have other desires like the fulfillment of their interests. [不错的一段啊！很有层次~就是说理太多，没例子~哎~其实写过的人都知道例子匮乏~]

In addition, if our education system designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, it may probably lose its target. Suppose an education system which design [+s] to meet the individual needs, this kind of education tend [+s] to narrow students' ken [好词好词~] and capability of acclimation to future career, because of the over-specified study. Our experience tell us whatever subjects you have learnt in your school, have rarely relationship with what your job will be in the future. [这句写得不地道啊，job 怎么能用be 来形容哩]  Time and environment change and people have to ordinate their lifestyle. Furthermore, as the students are not mature enough, their interests will probably change when they meet difficulties or any other influence from the outside world, so does it to say our education should change, either. As a result, the education system will not work effectively but only in chaos. In this sense, it is impossible for education to meet the desire of each student [这段不错，主要是句式做得很好。但你的前半段论证不够有力，没有只切主题，即现在学的以后不一定派上用场。感觉你老在beat around the bush~]

Admittedly, I have to concede that it is beneficial for our education system to provide certain curriculums to meet a group of students' common interests, but not individual’s. It will help the students not only to enrich their after class time but also [+to] find where their interests really lie. Moreover, actually, the parents and society may be helpful in this process if they provide them with more opportunities to join in various activities.

To sum up, it is impossible for our education system to meet individual needs and interests. To be truly effective, our education system should firstly fulfill its basic purpose so as to provide the students with better future life. And at the same time, it should augment more kinds of curriculums which help the students to be well-rounded.  

感觉你对题目的理解和我有些不同，你对specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student是o provide certain curriculums to meet a group of students' common interests, but not individual’s。我的理解是specified education & general education的relationship.不过你做得很不错，语言方面及结构方面，向你学习啦。但是有的地方论证不够有力，比较空。好象老在说理。不知楼主怎么看呢？欢迎与我交流互改啊！！
大家加油！

武汉 8。1

你决定上路，就离开这城市，离开你深爱多年的姑娘---那一年 许巍

ahqiuUID: 207682

多谢你的指教，这种看似好些的文章不容易出新观点，而且也不好去深入讨论
我真是觉得这篇文章没有什么例子可举，再想想，这好像是我的第一篇教育类的文章，可能写多点要好些，我只能这样安慰自己了，呵呵
谢谢，你的大作贴过来吧
定回拍的

MALONSOUID: 194798

It is true that our education system should meet the interests and needs of each student as possible as it could. However, this is not the pith（有点怪） of our education. As far as I am concerned, the true effective education should provide the students basic knowledge and skills which will help them not only to survive, but also thrive in their future life. In this sense, I probably disagree with the speaker and the reasons are shown as follows.

To begin with, the purpose of education is to provide students with fundamental knowledge and principles which are essential for physical and intellectual development, and only when our education attains this goal can it be evaluated as effective. As we know, the education system has already designed various curriculums to develop students' abilities in order to better adapt them to their future life. For example, literature and foreign language endow them with language-skills; science and mathematics help to train logical and critical thinking; and social studies teach them the main values of human society, such as, tolerance, respect and cooperation. Without these skills a student can hardly survive not to mention thrive in their future life. On the contrary, if our education system reaches this goal which ensures the students well-informed, there may be larger space left to the students to develop their interests in future, for only when people have enough capacity to subsist themselves, do they have other desires like the fulfillment of their interests（这句好像跑题了，没必要提兴趣）.

In addition, if our education system designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, it may probably lose its target. Suppose an education system which design to meet the individual needs, this kind of education tend to narrow students' ken and capability of acclimation to future career, because of the over-specified study. Our experience tell us whatever subjects you have learnt in your school, have rarely(rare) relationship with what your job will be in the future(your future job就好了)（meet the needs好像和specified 专业化没有必然联系）. Time and environment change and people have to ordinate their lifestyle. Furthermore, as the students are not mature enough, their interests will probably change when they meet difficulties or any other influence from the outside world, so does it to say our education should change, either. As a result, the education system will not work effectively but only in chaos. In this sense, it is impossible for education to meet the desire of each student（TS说lose its target，最后说impossible好像对应不起来，提了另外一个论点，我觉得还是在点一下TS为好）

Admittedly, I have to concede that it is beneficial for our education system to provide certain curriculums to meet a group of students' common interests, but not individual’s. It will help the students not only to enrich their after class time but also find where their interests really lie. Moreover, actually, the parents and society may be helpful in this process if they provide them with more opportunities to join in various activities.

To sum up, it is impossible for our education system to meet individual needs and interests. To be truly effective, our education system should firstly fulfill its basic purpose so as to provide the students with better future life. And at the same time, it should augment more kinds of curriculums which help the students to be well-rounded.

文章写的不错，语法很好，我看了这么多篇语法好的不多，看来楼主有基础，就是R2写的有点前后不对应，不过已经很不错了。