Argument1 第一次写,第一次发,请指教

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

1The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"  Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."





In this argument,the arguer concludes that they should bulid their next new store in plainsville.To support the conclusion,the arguer points out that plainsville's residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives.In addition,he cites a report of Plainsville merchants that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs,the local health club has more members than ever,and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full.Meanwhile,the arguer assumes that plainsville's schoolchildren will also be their new customers.This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

In the first place,the arguer's conclusion depends on the questionable assumption that the residents in plainsville who love sports and exercise will patronize Nature's Way's store.First,people who are concerned with healthy lives might not do high-level sport consumption but some easy exercises such as sit-up,push-up, etc.Second,the commodities of Nature's Way's store might not own excellent quality and reasonable price.Even though people want to buy running shoes and exercise clothing,they could find a better one.

In the second place,the arguer fails to take into account other relevant factors that might affect the business of Nature's Way in Plainsville,such as the presence of competitors,the population of the aera,the eating habits of the local residents,etc.These existing factors make the operation of the new store become unideal,and it is impossible for Nature's Way to change these present situation.So the arguer's conclusion is questionable.

To sum up,the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains.To strengthen the argument,the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning Plainsville's residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives and they will become the new store's customers.To better evaluate the argument,we would need more information regarding other relevant factors.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-17 at 12:21 ]

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

没人看啊?那我再改改吧

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

下面是刚刚修改的,和其他的朋友还有很大差距,不过自我感觉比上面第一篇好一些:

In this argument,the arguer concludes that they should bulid their next new store in plainsville.To support the conclusion,the arguer points out that plainsville's residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives.In addition,he cites a report of Plainsville merchants that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs,the local health club has more members than ever,and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full.Meanwhile,the arguer assumes that plainsville's schoolchildren will also be their new customers.This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

In the first place,the arguer's conclusion depends on the questionable assumption that the residents in Plainsville who are highly concerned with leading healthy lives will patronize Nature's Way's new store and become their new customers.It is somewhat absurd.Firstly,the argument fails to rule out the possibility that people who are concerned with leading healthy lives could achive their aim through other methods but not through sports.Common sense tells us that reasonable diet can make people healthy.If residents in Plainsville pay attention to the nutrition of diet ordinarily,it is not necessary for them to buy some commodities about sports.Secondly,if some of residents in Plainsville love sports and exercise ,they might make easy exercise such as sit-up,push-up and jogging but not high-level sports consumption.Even though they want to buy expensive running shoes and health club tickets,they could find a better one.Because the commodities of Nature's Way's store might not own both excellent quality and reasonable price.

In the second place,the arguer ignores other relevant factors that might not be changed but affect the business of Nature's Way in Plainsville,such as the population of the aera,the eating habit of the local residents,the presence of competitors,etc.These existing factors make the operation of the new store become unideal.In addition,the report of  merchants in Plainsville might not be authoritative,this reference material is not fit.So the arguer's conclusion is questionable.

To sum up,the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains.To strengthen the argument,the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning Plainsville's residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives and they will become the new store's customers.To better evaluate the argument,we would need more information regarding other relevant factors.

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

有路过的给看一下吧
最好刺激刺激我

staralwaysUID: 193479

In this argument, the arguer concludes that they should build their next new store in plainsville. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that plainsville's residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. In addition, he cites a report of Plainsville merchants that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs, the local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Meanwhile, the arguer assumes that plainsville's schoolchildren will also be their new customers. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies. [开头尽量不要复述题目；如果真有需要，最好做适当的归纳。]

In the first place, the arguer's conclusion depends on the questionable assumption that the residents in plainsville who love sports and exercise will patronize Nature's Way's store. First, people who are concerned with healthy lives might not do high-level sport consumption but some easy exercises such as sit-up, push-up, etc. Second, the commodities of Nature's Way's store might not own excellent quality and reasonable price. Even though people want to buy running shoes and exercise clothing, they could find a better one. [三个小的反驳点想得都不错；但是如果要使攻击更为充分、深入，那么仅仅把你想到的几点列出来是不够的，还需要进行组织，并加入一定篇幅的说理。]

In the second place, the arguer fails to take into account other relevant factors that might affect the business of Nature's Way in Plainsville, such as the presence of competitors, the population of the area, the eating habits of the local residents, etc. [和上一段一样的问题：都是很好的反驳点，为什么不展开呢？！] These existing factors make the operation of the new store become unideal, and it is impossible for Nature's Way to change these present situations. So the arguer's conclusion is questionable.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning Plainsville's residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives and they will become the new store's customers. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding other relevant factors.

开头、结尾的模板痕迹很明显，导致实际效果并不是很好。另外正文部分对逻辑错误的展开攻击很不够，你可以自己看一下，两段正文的字数加起来还没有开头、结尾加起来要多。