Argument147 第二次写,第二次发,请指教

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.



In this argument,the arguer recommends that the sales trend of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed.To justify this claim,the arguer cites a recent survey that what faetures the video-game players thought were most important in a video game.According to the survey,players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics,which require the most up-to-date computers.Meanwhile,the arguer assumes that in the next few months the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically,because Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old.This argument is fraught with vague ,oversimplified and unwarranted reasons.

The major problem with this argument is that this survey of video-game players lacks credibility.A careful examination of this survey would reveal how groundless this survey is.The mere fact that these video-game players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics is insufficient evidence to conclude that they will buy Whirlwind video games if Whirlwind produces such games.Such games are popular in players ,so then other video-game companies might also develop these kind of games and produce them.The appearance of other competitors makes this competition intensely.Thus,Whirlwind can not guarantee that these video-game players all buy the games which are developed by itself.

Another problem that undermines the argument is that such games require the most up-to-date computers ,but  these video-game players are 10 to 25 years old and the up-to-date computer is expensive;so they might mot afford these up-to-date computers.If this will be the case,will these video-game players buy a new computer in order to play a video game?Common sense tells us that it is generally impossible.

In addition ,the arguer ignores several other factors that might undermine the argument.Firstly,Whirlwind always fails to analyze the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video game declined over the past two years.Secondly,the advertising campaign derected at people 10 to 25 years old may turn out to be ridiculous.These people all like playing video games?I don't think so.

In summary,the conclusion reached in this argument is invalid and misleading.To make the argument more convincing ,the arguer would have to prove that the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video game declined over the past two years are related to the games that provide life graphics and Whirlwind's video games own a great market share .Moreover,I would suspend my judgment about the credibility of the recommendation until the arguer can provide concrete evidence that most of the people 10 to 25 years old will be the customers of Whirlwind video games and they can afford the up-to-date computers.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-20 at 13:05 ]

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

你们都来刺激刺激我，好吗？！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

没有人啊

staralwaysUID: 193479

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the sales trend of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed. To justify this claim, the arguer cites a recent survey that what features the video-game players thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Meanwhile, the arguer assumes that in the next few months the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically, because Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. This argument is fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted reasons. [开头太过冗长了，几乎把整个题目都复述下来了。]

The major problem with this argument is that this survey of video-game players lacks credibility. A careful examination of this survey would reveal how groundless this survey is. The mere fact that these video-game players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics is insufficient evidence to conclude that they will buy Whirlwind video games if Whirlwind produces such games. Such games are popular in players, so then other video-game companies might also develop these kind of games and produce them. The appearance of other competitors makes this competition intensely. Thus, Whirlwind cannot guarantee that these video-game players all buy the games which are developed by itself. [对于“如何竞争”、“竞争如何影响游戏产品的购买”，可以再进行一定深度的论述。]

Another problem that undermines the argument is that such games require the most up-to-date computers, but these video-game players are 10 to 25 years old and the up-to-date computer is expensive; so they might mot afford these up-to-date computers. If this will be the case, will these video-game players buy a new computer in order to play a video game? Common sense tells us that it is generally impossible.

In addition, the arguer ignores several other factors that might undermine the argument. Firstly, Whirlwind always fails to analyze the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video game declined over the past two years. Secondly, the advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old may turn out to be ridiculous. These people all like playing video games? I don't think so. [这段里提到有几个因素undermine this argument，那么它们是如何undermine的呢？这正应该是对于错误的攻击所在。]

In summary, the conclusion reached in this argument is invalid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to prove that the reasons why the sales of Whirlwind video game declined over the past two years are related to the games that provide life graphics and Whirlwind's video games own a great market share. Moreover, I would suspend my judgment about the credibility of the recommendation until the arguer can provide concrete evidence that most of the people 10 to 25 years old will be the customers of Whirlwind video games and they can afford the up-to-date computers. [结尾与正文相比还是长了点。]

和看过的上一篇argument一样的感觉，开头、结尾的模板痕迹过于明显，而中间段落对于错误的实际攻击却还不够到位。