argument76 同主题（修改稿）

alcestisUID: 2101945

A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin.

修改稿　限时　在看了ｉｍｏｎｇ的阿狗文献＋参考ｓｔａｒ斑竹的意见　　我写的没有显著的改善不过不证明两位斑竹的指导无效（是我比较笨的说）
Luxess seems to be a new hope of the people who want to improve the condition of their facial skin. But, when I carefully examine the study which the arguer uses to illustrate the effectiveness of Luxess, questions appear.  

Firstly, the arguer does not provide any information about the sample of the study, thus we can not say for sure that if it can be representative of the overall population. A face cream's function may have great differences when applying to different people. The age, race, skin condition, as well as living situation will affect the quality of their skin, and applying the cream to different skin may result in different effect. If all the volunteers participated in the study are all young people between their twenties and thirties, we can only conclude that Luxess is efficient in improving the facial skin of the young people. Unless the sample is representative of the overall population, no general conclusion such as Luxess is truly effective in improving facial skin can be drawn.

Secondly, the arguer can not convince me that the improvement really exists. The result of the study is based on the report of the volunteers. The volunteers' feeling, which is subjective and immeasurable, is not solid evidence and is not able to accurately reflect the condition of their skin. In order to solve the problem, the experimenter should establish some variables which can be scientifically measured and compared, such as variables reflect the smoothness, humidity, and color of the skin. Only when the data of the experiment is subjective and reliable, the improvement of the skin can be fairly evaluated.

Thirdly, even if there is really improvement in the volunteers' skin. The arguer fails to preclude other reason that may affect the result of the study, thus we can not sure if it is really Luxess that makes the improvement. It is possible that it is the mild soap they used, which may contain some special chemical substance, actually helps advance the quality of their skin. And it is equally possible that the volunteers believe that Luxess will improve their skin, and it is their conviction that activate some chemical reaction inside there body and result in the development of their facial skin. And to some extreme situation, maybe the volunteers in the experiment never wash their faces so frequently, and it is the simple action of everyday face-washing improves their skin condition.

All in all, this argument is based on a problematic study which makes the arguer’s conclusion questionable. The next time, before the Beauty magazine boast for other cosmetics, the editor should be more careful.




--------------原稿-----------------------------------------------

The arguer concludes that Luxess, a kind of new face cream, can help to improve the condition of facial skin. This assertion base on a one month study of a group of volunteers who wash their face every morning with a mild soap and use Luxess, and most of them reported improvement in their skin. The study is not well designed which makes the arguer’s assertion open to doubt.

Firstly, the arguer provides no assurance to ensure the study on which the argument depends is statistically reliable. The arguer gives no information about the volunteers that took part in the study, thus we don’t know if the sample is representative. The users’ age, race, habit, living condition, the quality of their skin, and many other factors will affect the effect of the facial cream. Only when the sample is big enough to include all the people with the different attributes above, can the arguer conclude that Luxess is truly effective. And, the arguer simply claims that “most” of the volunteers reported an improvement, but does not provide a specific percentage, because of which the conclusion seems unstable.

Secondly, the fact that most volunteers reported an improvement in the way their skin looked and felt does not necessarily mean there is really improvement on their facial skin condition. Feelings can not be solid evidence, for it is subjective and immeasurable. The sense of improvement the volunteers reported may due to some psychological reasons, which can be corrected by setting control group. To evaluate the condition of the facial skin, certain variable should be established and measured, so that the condition before and after the application of the skin can be compared scientifically. Without such objective measurement and statistics the result of the study is not credible.

Thirdly, even if there is any improvement, the arguer fails to convince me that it is Luxess that makes the improvement. It may be the mild soap which the volunteers used to wash their face actually advances the quality of their skin. Or, maybe it is some psychological reasons that stimulate the physical change. And to some extreme, maybe the volunteers do not even wash their faces everyday before they took part in the study, and it is the simple action of face washing that contributes to the better facial skin condition.  

All in all, to test the true effect of Luxess the arguer should redesign the study in order to preclude other reasons which may affect the facial skin or provides other evidences.

[ Last edited by alcestis on 2005-8-13 at 21:01 ]

staralwaysUID: 193479

The arguer concludes that Luxess, a kind of new face cream, can help to improve the condition of facial skin. This assertion bases on a one-month study of a group of volunteers who wash their face every morning with a mild soap and use Luxess, and most of them reported improvement in their skin. The study is not well designed which makes the arguer’s assertion open to doubt. [很简洁的开头。]

Firstly, the arguer provides no assurance to ensure the study on which the argument depends is statistically reliable. The arguer gives no information about the volunteers that took part in the study, thus we don’t know if the sample is representative. The users’ age, race, habit, living condition, the quality of their skin, and many other factors will affect the effect of the facial cream. [可以考虑拿出其中的某一个因素来重点分析一下。] Only when the sample is big enough to include all the people with the different attributes above, can the arguer conclude that Luxess is truly effective. And, the arguer simply claims that “most” of the volunteers reported an improvement, but does not provide a specific percentage, because of which the conclusion seems unstable.

Secondly, the fact that most volunteers reported an improvement in the way their skin looked and felt does not necessarily mean there is really improvement on their facial skin condition. Feelings cannot be solid evidence, for it is subjective and immeasurable. [这句提得很好。] The sense of improvement the volunteers reported may due to some psychological reasons, which can be corrected by setting control group. To evaluate the condition of the facial skin, certain variable should be established and measured, so that the condition before and after the application of the skin can be compared scientifically. [关于评判标准，不妨自己列几个条件出来。] Without such objective measurement and statistics the result of the study is not credible.

Thirdly, even if there is any improvement, the arguer fails to convince me that it is Luxess that makes the improvement. It may be the mild soap which the volunteers used to wash their face actually advances the quality of their skin. Or, maybe it is some psychological reasons that stimulate the physical change. And to some extreme, maybe the volunteers do not even wash their faces everyday before they took part in the study, and it is the simple action of face washing that contributes to the better facial skin condition.  

All in all, to test the true effect of Luxess the arguer should redesign the study in order to preclude other reasons which may affect the facial skin or provides other evidences. [结尾显得粗略了些。]

alcestisUID: 2101945

谢斑竹~~~
正在研究imong写的那套argue指导……回来会好好改一下

写出自己风格的开头结尾真的很难啊sigh

alcestisUID: 2101945

自己顶一下