issue103 七月高频，写过的想写得都看过来！

翦瞳UID: 184872

575words（4分钟修改，限时时间里没有修改完，后在word里贴了）
提纲：
1 trivial things
2 personality aspect
3 national affairs
4 international aspect

The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.

All things is inevitable to change, therefore the specific and ordinary trivia may not be repeated in most circumstance but results of personal behavior and trends of national history can be foreseen correctly.

In our daily lives, history does little to help our trivial things. If we got up a bus in 9 o'clock one day, we cannot infer we will catch the same bus on time on the second day, due to the changing situations. An old proverb in China tells us that never expect to pick up another rabbit that ran into the stake. It is a common sense that occasional things are happening every day since we will face with so many problems in our life and many of them will not repeat in short time. So if we simply want to study history in order to forecast next day's luck, I should say it is groundless and ridiculous. But if we learn from others' experiences and understand how to ameliorate ourselves for success in each field we expect, I tend to say that it is possible you can get what you want. Clearly, the study of history will do little help involving trivial things, but can help us to learn the long-term goals and do better in ordinary work.

In fact, history can teach us something to better develop ourselves. Through learning from others' failure, we can prevent it from doing the similar things in the future; through learning others' experience of success, we can find our intrinsic and exterior shortcoming which we have neglected. In this point, history can help our actions in daily lives. However, we should confess all these things do not aim at a short time comfort, but its purpose is to better the personality and capability, which are needed in the coming lives. History of others can help us not to distract from the normal and correct road, while sometimes make the road more clearly and flatly.

In a national aspect, it is even more obvious that history can give us considerable information which we need to plan our future, make up rational principles and regulations, carry out laws and measures which benefit the public and not to do harmful effect which has been committed by former administrators or other countries. For example, learning that developed countries has achieved an unimaginable economic level during past decades but pay environmental and ecologic cost heavily, developing countries should manage not to repeat it. Unfortunately, the history is not well studied, when some damages have been avoided, a large amount of problems have not been solved effectively and timely. The result of this neglect is severe, if not disaster. Thus when referring to national affairs, we should more carefully study history and learn from it as much as possible.

From a broader perspective, history can play a vital role in human destination. The fate of the whole world is determined by all countries while the decision requires more study of history. A extreme example is the Nazism. In the period of World War Two Hitler advocated Nazism and stirred a disaster of human being, which any judicial person hates to reiterate. How to prevent it? We must learn from history and think out any possibilities that foster Nazism and rule out all the factors. If we do not perceive the necessity of learning history, it is hardly to say whether we will experience another overwhelming slaughter.

In conclusion, the study of history does not only benefits our daily lives for a long-term expectation, but also, even more importantly, benefits national fate and human future.

nksisiUID: 2101023

一会改，先去吃饭，呵呵，你是在天津上学吗？笔考在天津。
呵呵

xiaowenzi118UID: 202887

issue103 七月高频，写过的想写得都看过来！

575words（4分钟修改，限时时间里没有修改完，后在word里贴了）
提纲：
1 trivial things
2 personality aspect
3 national affairs
4 international aspect

The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.

All things is inevitable to change, therefore the specific and ordinary trivia may not be repeated in most circumstance but results of personal behavior and trends of national history can be foreseen correctly. (有些简单语法错误嘛, 不过限时都会这样的,看你的正文吧，开头似乎没有提出你的论点嘛，value???起码要点一下吧)In our daily lives, history does little to help our trivial things.（这个Topic sentence应该再全面一点吧）If we got up a bus in 9 o'clock one day, we cannot infer we will catch the same bus on time on the second day, due to the changing situations. An old proverb in China tells us that never expect to pick up another rabbit that ran into the stake. It is a common sense that occasional things are happening every day since we will face with so many problems in our life and many of them will not repeat in short time. So if we simply want to study history in order to forecast next day's luck, I should say it is groundless and ridiculous. But if we learn from others' experiences and understand how to ameliorate ourselves for success in each field we expect, I tend to say that it is possible you can get what you want. Clearly, the study of history will do little help involving trivial things, but can help us to learn the long-term goals and do better in ordinary work.

In fact, history can teach us something to better develop ourselves. Through learning from others' failure, we can prevent it from doing the similar things in the future; through learning others' experience of success, we can find our intrinsic and exterior shortcoming which we have neglected. In this point, history can help our actions in daily lives. However, we should confess all these things do not aim at a short time comfort, but its purpose is to better the personality and capability, which are needed in the coming lives. History of others can help us not to distract from the normal and correct road, while sometimes make the road more clearly and flatly.
（根据你的提纲的话，这两段应该是先让步，再讲意义的吧，我觉得最好并成一段吧。而且这一段和你上一段的后半段比较接近，若单独成段的话给人感觉有点多余呀）
In a national aspect, it is even more obvious that history can give us considerable information which we need to plan our future, make up rational principles and regulations, carry out laws and measures which benefit the public and not to do harmful effect which has been committed by former administrators or other countries. For example, learning that developed countries has achieved an unimaginable economic level during past decades but pay environmental and ecologic cost heavily, developing countries should manage not to repeat it. Unfortunately, the history is not well studied, when some damages have been avoided, a large amount of problems have not been solved effectively and timely. （建议再举一个反例，这句话总觉得有点罗嗦，可以用However, in some other cases---,最后说一下，unless—history 之类的话吧，不知道是不是Argument写多了！）The result of this neglect is severe, if not disaster. Thus when referring to national affairs, we should more carefully study history and learn from it as much as possible.

From a broader perspective, history can play a vital role in human destination. The fate of the whole world is determined by all countries while the decision requires more study of history. A extreme example is the Nazism. In the period of World War Two Hitler advocated Nazism and stirred a disaster of human being, which any judicial person hates to reiterate. How to prevent it? We must learn from history and think out any possibilities that foster Nazism and rule out all the factors. If we do not perceive the necessity of learning history, it is hardly to say whether we will experience another overwhelming slaughter.

In conclusion, the study of history does not only benefits our daily lives for a long-term expectation, but also, even more importantly, benefits national fate and human future.

语法错误可不少呀（包括一些单复数，常用短语）! 不过我限时的时候更夸张呢, 一大堆单词拼写错误，而且常常复查时看不出来。不知楼主是否有同感。看你的拼写错误蛮少的呀，有什么好方法吗？:confused:主要的问题在开头段，没有能把论点讲清楚，而且必须说明不是以relevant来作为标准的。:lol

翦瞳UID: 184872

Originally posted by nksisi at 2005-7-26 18:55
一会改，先去吃饭，呵呵，你是在天津上学吗？笔考在天津。
呵呵

对啊，打算在天大考试。

翦瞳UID: 184872

Originally posted by xiaowenzi118 at 2005-7-26 19:02
语法错误可不少呀（包括一些单复数，常用短语）! 不过我限时的时候更夸张呢, 一大堆单词拼写错误，而且常常复查时看不出来。不知楼主是否有同感。看你的拼写错误蛮少的呀，有什么好方法吗？主要的问题在开头段，没有能把论点讲清楚，而且必须说明不是以relevant来作为标准的。
...

All thing is ....:$
呵呵，ETS的人看见这个东东，估计也没什么兴趣啦！
我已经努力注意了，还是有单复数的错误！苦恼啊！
拼写错误在word里改了，大多是comfortment之类的，我对动名词一体的词很苦恼，comfort可以当名词用，还有scandal 不可以当动词，总是卡壳，就顾不了这么多了！

改一下开头：
To study history is valuable for many aspects in our society, involving personal, national and international affairs. It is ridiculous to regard the history as valuable learning only when related with daily lives.

[ Last edited by 翦瞳 on 2005-7-26 at 19:52 ]

nksisiUID: 2101023

All things isare inevitable to change, therefore the specific and ordinary trivia may not be repeated in most circumstance but results of personal behavior and trends of national history can be foreseen correctly.

In our daily lives, history does little to help our trivial things. If we got upget up 是起床吧，用caught吧 a bus in 9 o'clock one day, we cannot infer we will catch the same bus on time on the second day, due to the changing situations. An old proverb in China tells us that never expect to pick up another rabbit that ran into the stake.不错！^_^ It is a common sense that occasional things are happening every day since we will face with so many problems in our life and many of them will not repeat in short time. So if we simply want to study history in order to forecast next day's luck, I should say it is groundless and ridiculous. But这么用不好吧，两个连词一起？ if we learn from others' experiences and understand how to ameliorate ourselves for success in each field we expect, I tend to say that it is possible you can get what you want. Clearly, the study of history will do little help involving trivial things, but can help us to learn the long-term goals and do better in ordinary work.

In fact, history can teach us something to better develop ourselvesbetter放后面吧. Through用by更舒服点 learning from others' failure, we can prevent it from doing the similar things in the future; through learning others' experience of success, we can find our intrinsic and exterior shortcoming which we have neglected. In this point, history can help our actions in daily lives. However, we should confess all these things do not aim at a short time comfort, but its purpose is to better the personality and capability, which are needed in the去掉the coming lives. History of others can help us not to distract from the normal and correct road, whilenot (only)后面用but sometimes make the road more clearly and flatly.

In a national aspect, it is even more obvious that history can give us considerable information which we need to plan our future, make up rational principles and regulations, carry out laws and measures which benefit the public and not to do harmful effect which has been committed by former administrators or other countries. For example, learning that developed countries has achieved an unimaginable economic level during past decades but pay environmental and ecologic cost heavily, developing countries should manage not to repeat it. Unfortunately, the history is not well studied, when some damages have been avoided, a large amount of problems have not been solved effectively and timely. The result of this neglectneglectivity is severe, if not disaster. Thus when referring to national affairs, we should more carefully study history and learn from it as much as possible.

From a broader perspective, history can play a vital role in human destination. The fate of the whole world is determined by all countries while the decision requires more study of history. A extreme example is the Nazism. In the period of the World War Two Hitler advocated Nazism and stirred a disaster of human being, which any judicial person hates to reiterate. How to prevent it? We must learn from history and think out any possibilities that foster Nazism and rule out all the factors. If we do not perceive the necessity of learning history, it is hardly to say whether we will experience another overwhelming slaughter.

In conclusion, the study of history does not only benefits our daily lives for a long-term expectation, but also, even more importantly, benefits national fate and human future.

nksisiUID: 2101023

第一段没有主要的观点啊！
各段的ts再清楚些，可以写的长点，呵呵

zmmaryUID: 2105117

你的文章逻辑辑性还是不错的。
不要忽视语言的错误，错太多会造成不必要的失分。
还有，你这个似乎内容还是不少的，到时候要保证一下写完噢。虽说有不写完得6分的，但好像文章的完整性还是相当重要的。

fanfanzozoUID: 2114008

也写了这,新改的开头不错

翦瞳UID: 184872

Originally posted by nksisi at 2005-7-26 20:28
whilenot (only)后面用but 不知道什么意思？

neglect 可以做名词哦 neglectivity
the World War Two 对，应该加the的