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History is a mirror which reflects the human intrinsic characters. History also provides evidence to foresee the future. A philosopher said: if one wants to forecast future he must learn from history, for there is always recurrence in history. (quotation很不错)As for this aspect, studying history can help us to discover the essential and eternal personalities of human beings below the superficial various life styles. After all, human is human who could not change a lot in the interior characters. (厉害,觉得你进步好大啊,开头很不错, 阐明了自己的观点,而且没有模板的痕迹)
The history always repeated what it had experienced. For example, in ancient times, human society never stopped wars and was filled with poverty, violence and aggress(aggression), which was the same as the current world. (向你学习,例子很简短)The reason which resulted in wars or violence was never changed though the society had changed a lot. It was aggressive and grasping (用greedy好像更好些,都对)essential. The powerful side always found some pretexts, even having no(without) pretexts to occupy other countries in order to seize natural sources(resources).(也不一定是这个理由的,人算不算?奴隶,财富,资源,怎么写到一起呢,我也没想好,不过nature resources可能不能概括这么多哦) By means of studying history, we would understand the human disadvantage which can cause(直接用了lead to好了,不用can) a war. The idiom(什么?没有理解,呵呵) is suitable to past time as well as to current time.(is suitable to the past as well as present简洁一些) We are not better than ancestors or worse than ancestors(We are not better or worse than our ancestors. Due to the same intrinsic characters, we are just the same. 觉得这样读起来好). With the same intrinsic characters, we are just the same.
不要被我改的吓倒了,只是写句子上的问题,立意很好,说理比我convincing,硬是没调出错来。
When we consider the scientific field, history can also tell our similarity with our ancestors. Copernicus proposed the sun was the center of universe, which was rejected and prohibited by the contemporary authority. He strived hard to make his theory acknowledged.(这句话有点多余,其实不用说那么多) As well as Copernicus, when Einstein claimed his great theory: relativity, most physical scientists were confused and did not agree with his theory. The experiences of the two scientists were not different, if not the same, in the essential: new theory is always rejected by the old one. (厉害,把其他题目的观点都用上了,我什么时候才能有这种功力)As long as we understand this point, we will easily explain lots of problems in present society, because we have some examples or precedents to consult. Therefore, we are encouraged to study history to forecast the future in light of the rules deep in human thoughts. In fact, it is always effective in scientific affairs. Nowadays, more people rely on personal development programs after studying the experiences of our ancestors. If we want to become a successful business man, what subjects should we major in, what errors should we avoid and what kinds of abilities should we exercise consciously in the preparing time? Generally speaking, the study of history can help us to foresee. (这段话怎么觉得写跑题了呢,想论证的是一致性,却说可以预测未来,这可能是根据一致性推出来的,却用了大段的文字来说,因为可以预测将来,而得出一致性?好像是反,你觉得呢了,可以少写,而且本段的最后一句都已经远离你的中心句了)
Considering the conformity in human society, some may regard there is no difference between the past and the current(一般current不那么用present), even the future society. However, it is not the absolutely same as the past time in that technology brings us many changes in our surroundings though it has not altered human being interiorly. For example, even the cause and the essential of wars at the present are the same as past ones, the weapons and areas has a lot of difference. In ancient time, they had no trifles, tanks, planes, nuclear bombs, so they did not fight on the air and in the sea. The battle occurred in diverse areas and the war itself became more cruel and fierce. The environment humankind live in had changed a lot also. The area we can access to is broader than ever before. As for the exterior circumstance, the society has changed, even differs significantly in some aspects.(好像没把环境和人联系起来,时代变了,社会的文明程度不一样了,现代人和古代人的观念肯定不一样,从这方面想想看)
In sum, studying history can help to understand that interior and exterior characters of human society are different in the changing situations. The human personalities are the same while the outer surrounding had altered.
总的来说这篇文章显示斜的很不错了,你的进步很明显阿,本来说理就很好,现在遣词造句也不错了。
觉得B2可能需要再仔细考虑
觉得B3保留段与本题目没有多大关系,本来说人,你却在讲环境,题目没有不承认环境在变啊,没太看懂你的意思的说。一面之词,嘿嘿!
我现在总是限时失败,备受打击的说,请教一下怎么写的那么快,思维那么敏捷呢? |
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