issue150 电视对旅游的影响。 求互拍

G10T5UID: 2101393

Issue150  
Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete.

本来以为这个题目好写，但写着写着就发现就那么几句话晃来晃去，郁闷。多谢指教

With the widely using of television and computer networks, we have a readier access to more information, including words, pictures and even video clips about a great many places. The speaker claims that when so much information about a place which we have never visited is available, people would be satisfied with such information. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete. I concede that today we could gain much information from television and computer network. However, the speaker's assertion is unwarranted. In fact, in my view, information about a place would enhance tourism but not undermine it.

The speaker’s assertion is based on an assumption that detailed information would satisfy visitors’ curiosity and then they would choose to assimilate information from television and computer network rather than experience this place by themselves. However, in my view, it is precisely related information that inspires humans’ curiosity and therefore bloom tourism rather than impede it. Faced with an unknown place, if we have no previous information about it we would have no sense about it. But if we have some information we would want to pursue more. To illustrate this point of view, Shangri-La, a utopian paradise in Tibet, is a fitting example, which long remains unknown and therefore has any visitors. But just the description appeared in Lost Horizon, a novel written by James Hilton, has attracted countless visitors all over the world. I am hard to image that today’s information technology could impede its tourism, when not only can words be provided, but also more impressive pictures and even video clips are available. By the help of television and computer network, local governments or other tourism agencies can better introduce their unique custom, natural scene and culture for numerous potential visitors, to move them, and to inspire their desire to witness these with their own eyes. As a result, these places would not only have local visitors but also visitors from other countries.  

Not only may governments and tourism agencies gain benefits from television and computer network, but also visitors. First, under their help, tourism becomes a better and more efficient experience. Before we begin our tourism, we can gain much information which could help us design an interesting and efficient plan in advance and also remind us to prepare for its several undesirable conditions like cold or dryness. Without these mass media, such important preparation is impossible. So television and computer network have facilitated tourism and in turn an easier and more comfortable tourism would encourage more people to try it. Besides, television and computer networks provide visitors a place to exchange their experience which could provide some guidance and even inspire curiosity for people who have not visited these places. Finally, sufficient information also provides more choices for visitors who could compare many places and then select a most attractive one as their destination.

What's more, aside from above benefits brought by television and computer network, they also have some other economical merits. By collecting sufficient information, we could select a most financial traveling line, find a most economical hotel or choose a proper period to start our tourism when expense would decline sharply.

In sum, television and computer network are beneficial to participants of tourism including governments, tourism agencies and visitors. So the spread of mass media would enhance tourism rather than harm it.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-7 at 22:44 ]

MIMOSARLUID: 2112846

Issue150  
Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete.

With the widely using of television and computer networks, we have a readier access to more information, including words, pictures and even video clips about a great many places. The speaker claims that when so much information about a place which we have never visited is available, people would be satisfied with such information. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete. I concede that today we could gain much information from television and computer network. However, the speaker's assertion is unwarranted. In fact, in my view, information about a place would enhance tourism but not undermine it.

The speaker’s assertion is based on an assumption that detailed information would satisfy visitors’ curiosity and then they would choose to assimilate information from television and computer network rather than experience this place by themselves. However, in my view, it is precisely related information that inspires humans’ curiosity. Faced with an unknown place, if we have no previous information about it we would have no sense about it. But if we have some information we would want to pursue more. For example, some places only attract visitors from nearby areas. It is not because they are not attractive enough, but merely because other people do not know them. But, by the help of television and computer network, local governments or other tourism agencies can use vivid words or impressed pictures to introduce their unique custom, natural scene and culture for numerous potential visitors, to move them, and to inspire their desire to witness these with their own eyes. As a result, these places would not only have local visitors but also visitors from other countries whose may spend more money. （有没有觉得，前面的内容时说对个人可以激发兴趣，怎么后面得到的却是政府的利益呢，有点怪哦，要不就写政府可以拿多少好处，什么贫困地区经过旅游脱贫了，你说呢）

Not only may governments and tourism agencies gain benefits from television and computer network, but also visitors. First, under their help, tourism becomes a better and more efficient experience. Before we begin our tourism, we can gain much information which could help us design an interesting and efficient plan in advance and also remind us to prepare for its several undesirable conditions like cold or dryness. Without these mass media, such important preparation is impossible. So television and computer network have facilitated tourism and in turn an easier and more comfortable tourism would encourage more people to try it. Besides, television and computer networks provide visitors a place to exchange their experience which could provide some guidance and even inspire curiosity for people who have not visited these places. Finally, sufficient information also provides more choices for visitors who could compare many places and then select a most attractive one as their destination.（我觉得你这点比较厉害，没什么也可以论证这么多，我的问题就是只有例子没有论证，呵呵，向你学习哦）
What's more, aside from above benefits brought by television and computer network, they also have some other economical merits. By collecting sufficient information, we could select a most financial traveling line, find a most economical hotel or choose a proper period to start our tourism when expense would decline sharply. （和上一段讲的一个意思吗，干吗独立成段呢）

In sum, television and computer network are beneficial to participants of tourism including governments, tourism agencies and visitors. So the spread of mass media would enhance tourism rather than harm it.

我觉得思路没打开，可以说旅游给人增加EXPERIENCE，享受到电视完全无法替代的感受；可以说让大家互相交流文化，现代人旅游还可以放松更好的生活；是不是可以主要强调旅游的不可替代性 呢？ 我们同学有没有见过真的奶牛的，见到后兴奋了N久

G10T5UID: 2101393

To MIMOSARL
谢谢。对，我只写了电视对旅游的促进，而没有写旅游的不可替代性。
我第二段其实是想写2个意思的：1） 批评作者的逻辑错误；2）电视不但对景点无害而且有利。
“我觉得你这点比较厉害，没什么也可以论证这么多”这是损我还是夸我啊？其实就是言而无物哪。

dapopiUID: 191236

With the widely using of television and computer networks, we have a readier access to more information, including words, pictures and even video clips about a great many places. The speaker claims that when so much information about a place which we have never visited is available, people would be satisfied with such information. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete. I concede that today we could gain much information from television and computer network. However, the speaker's assertion is unwarranted. In fact, in my view, information about a place would enhance tourism but not undermine it.[第一段perfect，向你学习^_^]

The speaker’s assertion is【不要is？】 based on an assumption that detailed information would satisfy visitors’ curiosity and then they would choose to assimilate information from television and computer network rather than experience this place by themselves. However, in my view, it is precisely related information that inspires humans’ curiosity. Faced with an unknown place, if we have no previous information about it we would have no sense about it. But if we have some information we would want to pursue more. For example, some places only attract visitors from nearby areas. It is not because they are not attractive enough, but merely because other people do not know them.【这个例子似乎有点牵强，用wild area似乎更好】 But, by the help of television and computer network, local governments or other tourism agencies can use vivid words or impressed pictures to introduce their unique custom, natural scene and culture for numerous potential visitors, to move them, and to inspire their desire to witness these with their own eyes. As a result, these places would not only have local visitors but also visitors from other countries whose may spend more money. 【whose后面的可以不要】

Not only may governments and tourism agencies gain benefits from television and computer network, but also visitors. First, under their help, tourism becomes a better and more efficient experience. Before we begin our tourism, we can gain much information which could help us design an interesting and efficient plan in advance and also remind us to prepare for its several undesirable conditions like cold or dryness. Without these mass media, such important preparation is impossible. So television and computer network have facilitated tourism and in turn an easier and more comfortable tourism would encourage more people to try it. Besides, television and computer networks provide visitors a place to exchange their experience which could provide some guidance and even inspire curiosity for people who have not visited these places.【这一点很新颖，从来没想过，厉害！】 Finally, sufficient information also provides more choices for visitors who could compare many places and then select a most attractive one as their destination.

What's more, aside from above benefits brought by television and computer network, they also have some other economical merits. By collecting sufficient information, we could select a most financial traveling line, find a most economical hotel or choose a proper period to start our tourism when expense would decline sharply.

In sum, television and computer network are beneficial to participants of tourism including governments, tourism agencies and visitors. So the spread of mass media would enhance tourism rather than harm it.

dapopiUID: 191236

我的150
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=
写的比较差
不过偶尔可能有一点可取之处
：D

alcestisUID: 2101945

With the widely using of television and computer networks, we have a readier access to more information, including words, pictures and even video clips about a great many places. The speaker claims that when so much information about a place which we have never visited is available, people would be satisfied with such information. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete. I concede that today we could gain much information from television and computer network. However, the speaker's assertion is unwarranted. In fact, in my view, information about a place would enhance tourism but not undermine it.这种比较好写的题目是不是不要套模版比较好

The speaker’s assertion is based on an assumption that detailed information would satisfy visitors’ curiosity and then they would choose to assimilate information from television and computer network rather than experience this place by themselves.好arguement However, in my view, it is precisely related information that inspires humans’ curiosity and therefore bloom tourism rather than impede it. Faced with an unknown place, if we have no previous information about it we would have no sense about it. But if we have some information we would want to pursue more. To illustrate this point of view, Shangri-La, a utopian这个词不合适 引自美国传统字典1 Often Utopian Of, relating to, describing or having the characteristics of a Utopia:常作 Utopian 乌托邦的，象乌托邦的：乌托邦的，与乌托邦有关的，描绘或具有乌托邦特点的：
a Utopian island; Utopian novels.
乌托邦式的岛屿；乌托邦小说
2 Excellent or ideal but impracticable; visionary:空想的：极好的，理想的但不实际的；空想的，不切实际的：
a utopian scheme for equalizing wealth.
关于平分财富的不切实际的方案
3 Proposing impracticably ideal schemes.空想的方案：提出不切实际的理想的方案的n.（名词）
A zealous but impractical reformer of human society.
空想象：狂想但不切实际的社会改革家 paradise in Tibet, is a fitting example, which long remains unknown and therefore hardly? has any visitors. But just the description appeared in Lost Horizon, a novel written by James Hilton, has attracted countless visitors all over the world. I am hard to image that today’s information technology could impede its tourism, when not only can words be provided, but also more impressive pictures and even video clips are available. By the help of television and computer network, local governments or other tourism agencies can better introduce their unique custom, natural scene and culture for numerous potential visitors, to move them, and to inspire their desire to witness these with their own eyes. As a result, these places would not only have local visitors but also visitors from other countries.  这一段的论述和下一段First, under their help, tourism becomes a better and more efficient experience. 有重叠 感觉从你的论述和例子得出政府收益（如下一段过渡句所述）有点怪

Not only may governments and tourism agencies gain benefits from television and computer network, but also visitors. First, under their help, tourism becomes a better and more efficient experience. Before we begin our tourism, we can gain much information which could help us design an interesting and efficient plan in advance and also remind us to prepare for its several undesirable conditions like cold or dryness. Without these mass media, such important preparation is impossible. So television and computer network have facilitated tourism and in turn an easier and more comfortable tourism would encourage more people to try it. Besides, television and computer networks provide visitors a place to exchange their experience which could provide some guidance and even inspire curiosity for people who have not visited these places. Finally, sufficient information also provides more choices for visitors who could compare many places and then select a most attractive one as their destination.

What's more, aside from above benefits brought by television and computer network, they also have some other economical merits. By collecting sufficient information, we could select a most financial traveling line, find a most economical hotel or choose a proper period to start our tourismtour when expense would decline sharply.

In sum, television and computer network are beneficial to participants of tourism including governments, tourism agencies and visitors. So the spread of mass media would enhance tourism rather than harm it.

结构有一点问题，论述在逻辑上有交叉
而且你罗列了许多旅游给人们带来的好处但没有把每一点好处展开充分论述给人一种浮在表面的感觉

[ Last edited by alcestis on 2005-8-10 at 11:38 ]