Issue207 熊熊的互拍组第二次作业--from熊熊

sebarinaUID: 2108158

互拍互拍~
留下链接方便回拍~自己组的在楼里发链接就行了~我会尽量都拍得
----------------------
207"Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."


---------------------------------
礼节和典礼有助于定义一个文化，如果没有这些，社会或者团体就会逐渐的迷失自我。


-----------------------------------
部分同意
1.礼节和典礼有助于定义一个文化
1.1体现文化的精神实质spiritual essential--Tea Ceremony in Japan. --a way of life
1.2成为文化的一个区别性的特征distinct feature.
2不同意后半句，没有这些，社会或者团体也不一定会迷失自我
2.1礼节和典礼的最主要功能可能不是定义文化而是日常生活的一部分不可分割indivisible----这个也是参考老外280篇的思路，可能很多人不认同
2.2社会和团体也不一定会迷失自我，还有其他的文化符号。other culture simbols

---------------------------------

Issue207  第10篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分59秒     614 words（改完以后将近700字~好像扯大了）
从2005年7月7日10时3分到2005年7月7日10时44分
------题目------
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.
------正文------
What are the functions of rituals and ceremonies? The speaker asserts that they help define a culture, and in addition, emphasizes that they are critical, as societies of groups of people will feel lost of themselves without them. I concede that one of functions of rituals and ceremonies is to help define a culture, but I should claim that there are other functions which cannot be neglected, and they are not providing the only way to define a culture.

To begin with, it is definite that people can define a culture through its rituals and ceremonies. There are two points of view to support such a statement. First, rituals and ceremonies can embody spiritual essential of a culture. As we know, rituals and ceremonies today can be originated from ancient times, when people had little knowledge about the world around them. Thus, rituals and ceremonies can significantly express a body's feelings and spirits in common. In addition, almost all the rituals and ceremonies have been passed down from generation to generation. Therefore, these rituals and ceremonies can possibly influence each generation, and on the other hand, can be modified by each generation, to reconcile them with spirits and feelings in a certain period. At last, a cultural spiritual essential has been planted in these rituals and ceremonies. Second, rituals and ceremonies can be a distinct feature of a culture. If a culture lost its characteristics, it will be in decline or immerged in other cultures. An example can illustrate the point: history tells us the native American tribes have long been exposed to different cultures from Europe, Asian and Africa. Such exposure finally leads to a vague feature of native American cultures. As is mentioned, in such circumstance, societies and bodies of people will have a diminished sense of themselves.

However, while conceding the benefit of definition to a culture, we would doubt whether such benefit is what rituals and ceremonies actually performs in culture perspective. Through observation of different cultures, we will find the major benefit of rituals and ceremonies may not be the definition to a culture, but a necessity in daily-life of the culture. Some common rituals and ceremonies exist in almost all cultures, like wedding, funeral ceremony. Although they may be a little different from each other in diverse cultures, we cannot just through the tiny differences to define or distinguish cultures. In fact, the function of such rituals and ceremonies is that they are indivisible from people's life. In another word, they become necessities to people of every culture. And in addition, rituals and ceremonies can also be used to explored the past of a society, providing more helpful information to historians and archeologist. Some ancient events and actions of individuals cannot be explained without the understanding of rituals and ceremonies. In conclusion, it is not proper to limit the function to a narrow scope, but to find out other benefits

In addition, it is not as simple as what the speaker asserts--only the rituals and ceremonies can help define a culture. There are many other objects embodying the cultural spirits and distinct features. For instance, some tribes in Asia have their own costumes, made in unique patterns and tailoring, which can also help define their cultures. And in Africa, people of different culture have different styles in dancing, which could express their desire or fear, brave or timid, explaining the culture’s characters. It is to say that if there are no characteristic rituals and ceremonies, different cultures can still be defined though other perspectives. After all, a culture includes too many aspects, all of which could be used to discovery the essential of a culture.

To sum up, that the statement--rituals and ceremonies help define a culture--is almost correct for their performance in expressing cultural spiritual essential and distinct features. However, other functions of rituals and ceremonies should not be neglected, and concerning culture itself, other important factors useful for definition to a culture should not be neglected either.

sosoUID: 194270

........................... Second, rituals and ceremonies can be a distinct feature of a culture. If a culture lost its characteristics, it will be in decline or immerged in other cultures. An example can illustrate the point: history tells us the native American tribes have long been exposed to different cultures from Europe, Asian and Africa. Such exposure finally leads to a vague feature of native American cultures. As is mentioned, in such circumstance, societies and bodies of people will have a diminished sense of themselves.（这里1.2的论点应该是说仪式是文化的一个有区分性的特点吧，但是感觉后面都在说失去特点的文化在逐渐消亡，感觉有些跑题，不如举个例子，说一下某些文化的特殊的仪式）

However, while conceding the benefit of definition to a culture, we would doubt whether such benefit is what rituals and ceremonies actually performs in culture perspective. Through observation of different cultures, we will find the major benefit of rituals and ceremonies may not be the definition to a culture, but a necessity in daily-life of the culture. Some common rituals and ceremonies exist in almost all cultures, like wedding, funeral ceremony. Although they may be a little different from each other in diverse cultures, we cannot just through the tiny differences to define or distinguish cultures.（感觉这句话没意义，只是要说明仪式和典礼是因为生活需要才存在的，而且这样说有些站不主脚，细小的区别也是可以定义文化的，想说明的只是他们更重要的是为生活服务） In fact, the function of such rituals and ceremonies is that they are indivisible from people's life. In another word, they become necessities to people of every culture. And in addition, rituals and ceremonies can also be used to explored the past of a society, providing more helpful information to historians and archeologist...........

In addition, it is not as simple as what the speaker asserts（这样说感觉不太合适，直接驳好啦）--only the rituals and ceremonies can help define a culture. There are many other objects embodying the cultural spirits and distinct features. For instance, some tribes in Asia have their own costumes, made in unique patterns and tailoring, which can also help define their cultures. And in Africa, people of different culture have different styles in dancing, which could express their desire or fear, brave or timid(bravery and timidity), explaining the culture’s characters. It is to say （可以这么说么？）that if there are no characteristic rituals and ceremonies, different cultures can still be defined thoughthrough other perspectives. After all, a culture includes too many aspects, all of which could be used to discovery the essential of a culture.

To sum up, that the statement(the statement)--rituals and ceremonies help define a culture--is almost correct for their performance in expressing cultural spiritual essential and distinct features. However, other functions of rituals and ceremonies should not be neglected, and concerning culture itself, other important factors useful for definition to a culture should not be neglected either.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

感觉这篇文章还是比较难写的，能写成这样已经很好了。熊熊改得很认真吧？我拼命找语法错误，也没找到几个。

除了感觉body1.2有些跑，其他都挺好。如果开头结尾能更精彩一些就好了，不过这个难度比较大，偶自己也做不到。

另外好像改作文的时候提纲没改吧。。。没看到什么tea ceremony:confused:

[ Last edited by soso on 2005-8-7 at 21:11 ]

sebarinaUID: 2108158

:P谢谢soso~~意见收下！
恩~直接把提纲粘来了~当时没有时间写了。tea ceremony主要是日本的文化体现~可以参考一下

neo_athrunUID: 2111270

What are the functions of rituals and ceremonies? (关于开头这个what问句新的想法：它所代表的意思，似乎应该是本文的中心论点吧这样看来还是比较的符合你的全文结构的)The speaker asserts that they help to define a culture, and in addition, emphasizes that they are critical, as societies of groups of people will feel lost of themselves without them　(这个them指代的不明了). I concede that one of functions of rituals and ceremonies is to help to (总是觉得这里加了to比较的好)define a culture, but I should claim that there are other functions which cannot be neglected, and they are not providing the only way to define a culture.

To begin with, it is definite that people can define a culture through its rituals and ceremonies. There are two points of view to support such a statement. First, rituals and ceremonies can embody spiritual essential of a culture. As we know, rituals and ceremonies today can　(这是个猜测语气应该用may吧　) be originated from ancient times, when people had little knowledge about the world around them. Thus, rituals and ceremonies can significantly express a body's feelings and spirits in common. In addition, almost all the rituals and ceremonies have been passed down from generation to generation. Therefore, these rituals and ceremonies can possibly influence each generation, and on the other hand, can be modified by each generation, to reconcile them with spirits and feelings in a certain period. At last, a cultural spiritual essential has been planted in these rituals and ceremonies.　(干说不如举例子咯虽然我也知道例子不好举呵) Second, rituals and ceremonies can be a distinct feature of a culture. If a culture lost its characteristics, it will be in decline or immerged in other cultures. An example can illustrate the point: history tells us the native American tribes have long been exposed to different cultures from Europe, Asian and Africa. Such exposure finally leads to a vague feature of native American cultures. As is mentioned, in such circumstance, societies and bodies of people will have a diminished sense of themselves.　(还应该深入，就是文化的缺失为什么会造成人们的迷惘？这之间的逻辑关系没有交代，另外关于仪式决定了文化的精神内质时论证的冗长了，不必要那么详细的描述，否则就喧宾夺主了吧)

However, while conceding the benefit of definition to a culture, we would doubt whether such benefit is what rituals and ceremonies actually performs (perform benefit??) in culture perspective. Through observation of different cultures, we will find the major benefit of rituals and ceremonies may not be the definition to a culture, but a necessity in daily-life of the culture.  (这个观点没想过哈)Some common rituals and ceremonies exist in almost all cultures, like wedding, funeral ceremony. Although they may be a little different from each other in diverse cultures, we cannot just through the tiny differences to define or distinguish cultures.　(这个反例感觉多余了，其实一句话就够了) In fact, the function of such rituals and ceremonies is that they are indivisible from people's life. In another word, they become necessities to people of every culture. And in addition, rituals and ceremonies can also be used to explored the past of a society, providing more helpful information to historians and archeologist. Some ancient events and actions of individuals cannot be explained without the understanding of rituals and ceremonies. In conclusion, it is not proper to limit the function to a narrow scope, but to find out other benefits　(这段是要说ｃ和ｒ的其他作用吧？不过感觉说的很少就最后一小块有那么点，其他的都是翻来覆去说，也不透彻，不过的确是不好写啊)

In addition, it is not as simple (是简单还是绝对？)as what the speaker asserts--only the rituals and ceremonies can help define a culture. There are many other objects embodying the cultural spirits and distinct features. For instance, some tribes in Asia have their own costumes, made in unique patterns and tailoring, which can also help define their cultures. And in Africa, people of different culture have different styles in dancing, which could express their desire or fear, brave or timid,　(这不是名词形式嗯哼) explaining the culture’s characters. It is to say　 (这是不是“那也就是说”的意思？)that if there are no characteristic rituals and ceremonies, different cultures can still be defined though other perspectives. After all, a culture includes too many aspects, all of which could be used to discovery the essential of a culture.　(这一段的例子很好噢)

To sum up, that the statement--rituals and ceremonies help define a culture--is almost correct for their performance in expressing cultural spiritual essential and distinct features.　(句子不错) However, other functions of rituals and ceremonies should not be neglected, and concerning culture itself, other important factors useful for definition to a culture should not be neglected either.

嗯……总体思路清晰，不过呢～我还是存在疑问，题目的重点应该是在后面，关于人们迷失的问题，个人认为这应该是本文的重点，至于说典礼的其他功效似乎是陪衬了，不过本文正好相反了啊。所以不是很认同整篇的结构。
语言嘛，本身就不错，这时候还晕晕的所以可能有没看出来的呵呵。

sebarinaUID: 2108158

哈~不妨争论一下吧~我最喜欢和大狗争论啦~
第一这是个因果型的~文化的定义是因~人们迷失是果~
你说论证式如果驳倒对方的话树立自己的观点因重要还是果重要？
我觉得你说的是partly correct.的确我忽略了文化定义引起人们迷失这一因素~
但窃以为驳斥原因，undermine 已定假设也很重要。

neo_athrunUID: 2111270

嗯……拨云见了一部分日，你也只说对了一部分哦。攻击因果类型的的确是从原因入手，但是别忘了还有拆桥法呢，我所说的“迷失”问题就是拆桥法哦。就是说即使没有了ｃ＆ｒ也一样可以不迷失。
呵呵感觉这么一来一往明了不少东西哈

sebarinaUID: 2108158

嘿嘿~不错不错~我的意思也是应该按照修锐的两步走战略~实现这篇文章的大计啊！

OddflyerUID: 209689

What are the functions of rituals and ceremonies? The speaker asserts that they help define a culture, and in addition, emphasizes that they are critical, as societies of groups of people will feel lost of themselves without them[???]. I concede that one of functions of rituals and ceremonies is to help define a culture, but I should claim that there are other functions which cannot be neglected, and they are not providing the only way to define a culture.[开头很熟练]

To begin with, it is definite that people can define a culture through its rituals and ceremonies. There are two points of view to support such a statement. First, rituals and ceremonies can embody spiritual essential of a culture. As we know, rituals and ceremonies today can be originated from ancient times, when people had little knowledge about the world around them. Thus, rituals and ceremonies can significantly express a body's feelings and spirits in common. In addition, almost all the rituals and ceremonies have been passed down from generation to generation. Therefore, these rituals and ceremonies can possibly influence each generation, and on the other hand, can be modified by each generation, to reconcile them with spirits and feelings in a certain period. At last, a cultural spiritual essential has been planted in these rituals and ceremonies. Second, rituals and ceremonies can be a distinct feature of a culture. If a culture lost its characteristics, it will be in decline or immerged in other cultures. An example can illustrate the point: history tells us the native American tribes have long been exposed to different cultures from Europe, Asian and Africa. Such exposure finally leads to a vague feature of native American cultures. As is mentioned, in such circumstance, societies and bodies of people will have a diminished sense of themselves.[最后一句有点晕晕的,]

However, while conceding the benefit of definition to a culture, we would doubt whether such benefit is what rituals and ceremonies actually performs in culture perspective. Through observation of different cultures, we will find the major benefit of rituals and ceremonies may not be the definition to a culture, but a necessity in daily-life of the culture. Some common rituals and ceremonies exist in almost all cultures, like wedding, funeral ceremony. Although they may be a little different from each other in diverse cultures, we cannot just through the tiny differences to define or distinguish cultures. In fact, the function of such rituals and ceremonies is that they are indivisible from people's life. In another word, they become necessities to people of every culture. And in addition, rituals and ceremonies can also be used to explored[过去时态???] the past of a society, providing[现在进行时????,前后什么关系] more helpful information to historians and archeologist. Some ancient events and actions of individuals cannot be explained without the understanding of rituals and ceremonies. In conclusion, it is not proper to limit the function to a narrow scope, but to find out other benefits [首先,整个段落的benefit有点,哦....]

In addition, it is not as simple as what the speaker asserts--only the rituals and ceremonies can help define a culture. There are many other objects embodying the cultural spirits and distinct features. For instance, some tribes in Asia have their own costumes, made in unique patterns and tailoring, which can also help define their cultures. And in Africa, people of different culture have different styles in dancing, which could express their desire or fear, brave or timid, explaining the culture’s characters. It is to say that if there are no characteristic rituals and ceremonies, different cultures can still be defined though other perspectives. After all, a culture includes too many aspects, all of which could be used to discovery the essential of a culture.

To sum up, that the statement--rituals and ceremonies help define a culture--is almost correct for their performance in expressing cultural spiritual essential and distinct features. However, other functions of rituals and ceremonies should not be neglected, and concerning culture itself, other important factors useful for definition to a culture should not be neglected either.


总结:楼竹水平远在我上,我只能挑点小刺儿,大方向上只能佩服再佩服了,见谅