Argumet200 MM之作一定要拍哦，有拍必回

vieripingUID: 207712

Arument200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients

The author claim that dentists should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients to attractive more patients. He cites a lot evidence to support his claim. Careful examination of the evidence reveals that it lend little credible support to the claim.

The first problem with the argument involves the statistical reliability of the survey. He assume the survey must be statistically significant and representative of dentists in general. However, we are not informed any detail information about the survey. It is entirely possible that the chosen dentists are just the ones who have more faint male patients. Or perhaps the statistics are collected in one day which is aberration. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author cannot draw any sound conclusion base this statistics.

Second, even assume the statistic is reliable, the author further assumes that the reason why men are easily fainting than women lies in the fact they are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done. Yet the article contains no evidence to substantiate this assumption. Lacking of evidence, it is equally possible that the diseases of male patients are more serious than female patients. Or perhaps doctors treat male patients not as carefully as female patients so male patients often suffer more pain. Either scenario, if true, will cast considerable doubt on the author's claim.

Third, even assume that men are more likely to faint than women because they are more likely to be distressed about the having dental work, the fact effectiveness of effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is little indication that more patients will be attracted. It is entirely possible that the patients are concerned more about higene condition, price, technique except anesthetic and price. Since the author fails to account for alternative explanations, his claim is indefensible.

In sum, the argument remains unconvincing as it stands. To bolster his conclusion, he must provide better evidence that male patients are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done and that the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is surely to attract more male patients. To better access the argument, I need to the sampling method of the collected data.

[ Last edited by vieriping on 2005-8-15 at 21:26 ]

硬柿子UID: 204138

Arument200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients
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The author claim that dentists should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients to attractive more patients. He cites a lot ofevidences to support his claim. Careful examination of the evidences reveals that it lends little credible support to the claim.

The first problem with the argument involves the statistical reliability of the survey. He assume the survey must be statistically significant and representative of dentists in general. However, we are not informed any detail information about the survey. It is entirely possible that the chosen dentists are just the ones who have more faint male patients. Or perhaps the statistics are collected in one day which is aberration这个应该用形容词吧 或者 an aberration . Without ruling out such possibilities, the author cannot draw any sound conclusion base this statistics. 能够从时间上来考虑这个样本的可靠性,不错，这是我没想到的~~另外多少人参加这次survey, 有多少女性，多少男性，女性比率是多少？女性比男性3：1吗？

Second, even assume the statistic is reliable, the author further assumes that the reason why men are easily easier fainting than women lies in the fact they are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done. Yet the article contains no evidence to substantiate this assumption. Lacking of evidence, it is equally possible that the diseases of male patients are more serious than female patients.( Or perhaps doctors treat male patients not as carefully as female patients so male patients often suffer more pain)这句话和 dentist的广告策略是不是相符了? 还有可能就是患有相同疾病的女性患者不敢看医生~~~. Either scenario, if true, will cast considerable doubt on the author's claim.

Third, even assume that men are more likely to faint than women because they are more likely to be distressed about the having dental work, （the fact effectiveness of effectiveness）这个你自己改改 of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is little indication that more patients will be attracted. It is entirely possible that the patients are concerned more about higene hygiene condition, price, technique except anesthetic and price. Since the author fails to account for alternative explanations, his claim is indefensible.
另外广告策略是不是会导致女性的潜在顾客的流失，也应该考虑到~~~

In sum, the argument remains unconvincing as it stands. To bolster his conclusion, he must provide better evidence that male patients are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done and that the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is surely to attract more male patients. To better access the argument, I need to the sampling method of the collected data.
有些点没有考虑周全

vieripingUID: 207712

谢谢哦，大家多提意见

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Arument200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients
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The author claim that dentists should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients to attractive more patients. He cites a lot ofevidences to support his claim. Careful examination of the evidences reveals that it lends little credible support to the claim.

The first problem with the argument involves the statistical reliability of the survey. He[一律用the arguer。多注意第三人称单数的问题，比如后边的这个] assume the survey must be statistically significant and representative of dentists in general. However, we are not informed any detail[作adj要加ed] information about the survey. It is entirely possible that the chosen dentists are just the ones who have more faint male patients. Or perhaps the statistics are collected in one day which is aberration这个应该用形容词吧 或者 an aberration . Without ruling out such possibilities, the author cannot draw any sound conclusion base[based on] this statistics. 能够从时间上来考虑这个样本的可靠性,不错，这是我没想到的~~另外多少人参加这次survey, 有多少女性，多少男性，女性比率是多少？女性比男性3：1吗？[前人所提极是。]

Second, even assume the statistic is reliable, the author further assumes that the reason why men are easily easier fainting than women lies in the fact they are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done. Yet the article contains no evidence to substantiate this assumption. Lacking of evidence, it is equally possible that the diseases of male patients are more serious than female patients.( Or perhaps doctors treat male patients not as carefully as female patients so male patients often suffer more pain)这句话和 dentist的广告策略是不是相符了? 还有可能就是患有相同疾病的女性患者不敢看医生~~~. Either scenario, if true, will cast considerable doubt on the author's claim.

Third, even assume that men are more likely to faint than women because they are more likely to be distressed about the having dental work, （the fact effectiveness of effectiveness）这个你自己改改 of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is little indication that more patients will be attracted. It is entirely possible that the patients are concerned more about higene hygiene condition, price, technique except anesthetic and price. Since the author fails to account for alternative explanations, his claim is indefensible.
另外广告策略是不是会导致女性的潜在顾客的流失，也应该考虑到~~~

In sum, the argument remains unconvincing as it stands. To bolster his conclusion, he must provide better evidence that male patients are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done and that the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is surely to attract more male patients. To better access the argument, I need to the sampling method of the collected data.[重点放在正文的展开上，结尾可以简单些]
有些点没有考虑周全[大致的结构什么的没有问题，但要注意语法错误。还有对细节的攻击要加强，正如前人指出的那样。还有比如攻击faint的问题，就算那么多男同志倒下了，但实际上女同胞的反应更大，只是没有表现出来罢了。她们其实更关系麻药和关爱，等等等等。现在练的时候就要尽可能想仔细些，开拓思路，以后见到一些点就条件反射了。]

vieripingUID: 207712

多谢大家指点