issue141 V6战队 8.26 高频

wineyreUID: 2106739

嗯,放心一点了,认真根据你的意见改一改~~

mkb57288UID: 2105771

好多人啊，我也来凑个热闹

mkb57288UID: 2105771

先贴一下我的同主题
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1735575
正好没有人给偶改过，要是有空的话就帮忙看一下

mkb57288UID: 2105771

B2、3个人认为很好，只是第一个body前面的法律部分有一点被动的感觉，题目是获取个人的经济成功--是主动的感觉，这个写的是怎么样维护经济利益，再就是moral有一点牵强，其余的都不错，个人认为肯定没有因为对题目的关键词的理解而跑题，而且还注意到了economic这个关键字，平衡结构的总体框架也是不错的

个人对这个conformity的理解是随大流，individuality是maverick,可能前者略有不同--但我也赞同你的这个理解，欢迎讨论

mkb57288UID: 2105771

最后说一句，很赞同你的观点，有些出版提纲写得真得很不好--甚至题库翻译都有很多问题
诸如这里的conformity，question authority里的well-being，个人认为猴哥那个书翻译的都不对，还是要相信自己的理解，更何况有MW作为权威的解释

另外，argument的提纲准备也要注意同样的问题，中文的翻译题库有时会出现你在英文版里找不到了逻辑错误，我这两天深有体会，呵呵

11yvetteUID: 2102418

我来瞅瞅~~~

wineyreUID: 2106739

谢谢mkb.呵呵,猴哥里的蛮多阿狗题纲驳的角度很奇怪的.
不过听说有人每篇阿狗都能找出四个以上的错误~~好PF啊
我一般也就三个啦

11yvetteUID: 2102418

55555，刚刚改了好多了，不知怎么回事跳掉了，再来一遍~~

The speaker asserts that personal economic success requires conformity. I concede that conformity is a necessary premise of personal economic success, yet individuality still play a key role in personal economic success. The combination of conformity and individuality can lead people to economic success.观点鲜明，点明只有两者结合才能成功。

On the one hand, people should conform to laws, moral and business rules in business trades. It is those laws and rules which protect the benefits of each business man. Laws and business rules can ensure the equity of business trades.[将全篇限制在business trade上面了] For example, if you have been cheated in a business trade, what would you do? An effective way to solve this problem is to raise it to the court. With the help of laws and business rules, you can get back what should be owned by [感觉用belong to好些吧] you. [这里加一个连接词吧，转得太快了]Turn to moral. If a businessman can obey moral of the society in the business trade, others would respect him and be willing to deal with him. A polite person can build up good relationships with different people or organization. Hence, it is possible for him/her to have more chances, earn more money and reputation in business field, which is very essential for personal economic success. In the contrast, if a businessman always violates morals, for example, not be punctual for appointments, others may cannot :confused: bear him, thus he would miss many chances. Therefore, the conformity ensures a reciprocal environment.因为把文章限定在了business上了，难免会觉得没什么话说。不过真一段的条理还是清晰的。只是后面moral层面上，所举事例和moral的关系不大啊，改一个可能会好一些。另外，个人感觉这里对conformity的理解也有些窄，期待B3能将这一点有所弥补。

On the other hand, individuality plays a key role in personal economic success as it creates initiative and innovations.这段TS的观点非常好！ Individuality let [如果用lets不如用makes来的通顺] people break the traditional thoughts and convention, thus create some famous brands[这个应该不是business的最终目的吧]. For such an example, we need to look no further than Dell, which is the second largest computer company in the world. Instead selling computers to different agents, Dell sells computers directly to its customers. Dell can make computers according to customers' requirements, thus computer buyers need not to go to the stores and spend hours on selecting suitable computers. In addition, this selling method also reduces the price of Dell computer, as no agents would earn money from the company or from the customers. Moreover, Dell never produces the basic elements of computers but buy them from other companies.[例子不错，只是说的长了些，再组织一下，简练些比较好] In this way, the number of personnel can be greatly reduced thus [and] the fee spent on labor force can be reduced, which also results in the low price of Dell computers. With all methods above, Dell, the first CEO of Dell computer, achieved the personal economic success by individuality. Therefore, personal economic success also depends largely on the individuality.最后一句话感觉短了些，因为这一段就摆了一个dell的事实，很少有自己的语言，比较遗憾

A balance between the individuality and conformity can create a better environment for businessmen to achieve personal economic success. Overemphasis on any one of them may lead to danger. If a businessman only focuses on conformity, he may always follow the conventions, which can hardly attract people's attention and thus can never lead him to personal economic success. By contrary [On the contrary?], if he only pays attention to the individuality, it is possible for him to violating laws or business rules, or it is impossible for a businessman to establish a good relationship with his partners, cooperators and competitors. [这里果然有把conformity理解得多方位了些，不错] A balance between conformity and individuality can solve the problems. It can provide a businessman good environment to develop, frequently communicate with different parties and create marked brands.采用“证伪”，这段写得不错

In sum, conformity is the premise of personal economic success, while individuality is the key factor for a businessman to be success. A balance between conformity and individuality can help to earn more chances, build up good relationship with people in that field, and win success in the competition.

全篇条理很清晰，但是对于economic success在文中没有很好的对应，虽然文章强调了success。
其他的一些问题在文中已经指出了，稍作修改就可以。
对于conformity的理解我也很困惑，eyre的理解应该是没有问题的，加油啊~~

[ Last edited by 11yvette on 2005-8-26 at 17:34 ]

minminzeroUID: 2377426

怎么能写得那么长啊，大哥/姐