写完了第三篇，怎么看怎么感觉像是散文，散得厉害。

j1e2s2s8eUID: 200788

Theme:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most bad things that happened to us seemed terrible at the time, but after we thought about them, we learned valuable things from the experiences. Give reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
Syllabus:
1.        Start with what bad things means.
2.        Bad experience 1.
3.        Bad experience 2.
4.        Conclusion.
Text:
Bad things happen from time to time----being dumped by your girl/boyfriend, getting hit by a car or screwed in an exam, you name it. These things may be terrible when they happened, but in the aftermath, if some thinking was given to them, we can always learn a lot from those heartbreaking experiences. Sometimes, in my eyes, people even have to some degree to thank those bad things, because after all, everyone grows up along with mistakes along side.

When I was 8, I cheated once in an exam. When my teacher found out, she berated me severely and insisted on calling my parents. I apologized, cried, begged, fearing that my parents would never love me again. But she did it anyway. And it turned out to be very traumatic for me: my father scolded me for 3 hours and grounded me for 3 months. This was probably the nastiest experience back in my childhood. I resented the teacher for a long time. But as time went on, I gradually realized what I did was wrong, especially after I went to middle school and learned this sage saying:” the measure of man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out”, I started to know how important a person’s credibility can be. The teacher’s tattle finally shaped me into a better person than I ever thought I would be.

Life is hard, and bad things still happen. At the age of 17, I joined our high school’ chemistry club. One day, we were doing an experiment and my partner told me to get some alcohol for her. I was a little distracted so I accidentally gave her some acid instead. The bad thing is, she did not check it either, and a minor explosion ensued. Her skin was a little burnt, not serious though, but she did not trust me any more. I felt awful but there was nothing I could do. From that incident until now, I have never been careless any more. I always tell myself, one cannot be too careful. If it weren’t for this, the time when I realized the my carelessness is a major flaw would be a lot later.

Lao Tzu, the founder of ancient Chinese philosophy Taoism, once said good things hide under bad things. Yes, bad things happen, they might be horrible, hurtful, catastrophic, but like always, we can learn something valuable from them, and make the best out of the bad.

icanflyhighlyUID: 2154694

那这个事要写自己的经历呢还是可以写别人的进行分析啊？

kirchhoffUID: 174807

无所谓是不是自己的经历，反正只要是examples就行了。

这篇文章比前两篇有点进步，不过有限。至少条理上清楚了一点。

有几个问题。

第一，题目首先让你给出原因，但是你只是把题目里面的那段话换了自己的语言说了一遍。你可以考虑这样，首先说大部分的bad是由我们自身的错误造成的。进一步，当我们遇到这一类的bad的时候，我们往往会思考其原因，最后归结到自己的错误上。这样，我们就能够从bad中学到一些东西了。

第二，两个例子的选择以及第一段里面给的几种bad不太合适。个人认为千万别说自己考试作弊。

第三，还是老问题。不要再用"you"了。特别是bad的时候。读文章的人也许会说为什么是dumped by "my" girlfriend而不是你自己被甩了。很不舒服。

第四，我个人感觉啊。觉得你很多地方似乎查过词，也查过一些所谓的sage saying。查是很好的，但是一定要保证这些东西是可以被记住的，而且自己查完了会经常看，直到在脑子里根深蒂固。否则你真正上了考场，手边什么都没有就废了。

这个题目我觉得还是不太好写的，因为所说的东西太简单。

继续努力把

avexUID: 159089

呵呵
楼主的写法有点unconventional，for my part 太像verse,不像academic essay
这点可能是双刃剑

j1e2s2s8eUID: 200788

Originally posted by kirchhoff at 2005-11-26 11:02
我个人感觉啊。觉得你很多地方似乎查过词，也查过一些所谓的sage saying。查是很好的，但是一定要保证这些东西是可以被记住的，而且自己查完了会经常看，直到在脑子里根深蒂固。否则你真正上了考场，手边什么都没有就废了。
这个题目我觉得还是不太好写的，因为所说的东西太简单。

冤枉啊。我冤枉啊。我没有查词。不敢。我觉得那样会分散注意力，这是上自习的时候写的。我用的是英文的原版字典。

kirchhoffUID: 174807

Originally posted by j1e2s2s8e at 2005-11-26 18:33


冤枉啊。我冤枉啊。我没有查词。不敢。我觉得那样会分散注意力，这是上自习的时候写的。我用的是英文的原版字典。

最好不要用字典

j1e2s2s8eUID: 200788

Originally posted by kirchhoff at 2005-11-26 20:37


最好不要用字典

晕死，不用字典怎么学英语啊？碰到了不认识的咋办尼？呵呵。

kirchhoffUID: 174807

Originally posted by j1e2s2s8e at 2005-11-26 20:58


晕死，不用字典怎么学英语啊？碰到了不认识的咋办尼？呵呵。

……我是说你写作文最好不要用字典，除非你能保证这个词会被记住。