第一次写托福作文~贴上来hoho

sebarinaUID: 2108158

以前写过AW，话总也控制不住，随便挑了一篇，写了35分钟，484字:(
是太多了吧。

希望大家多多批评。不太清楚TWE要求什么样的语气和结构，可能还要再看一下例文。

New factory is welcomed!

Recently, a company announced to build a branch factory near our community. The news spread fast, and aroused a broad discussion on the proposal. As a member of the community, I have made a deliberate consideration on the issue. After analyzing the advantages and disadvantages, I come to the conclusion that we should welcome the building of factory instead of excluding it out of our district.

To begin with, it is necessary to see both benefits and detriments the new factory would bring to us, if built. On the one hand, to build a new factory near our community will bring us several merits. First of all, it will absorb superfluous labors in our community, further to solve the employment and poverty. Second, it will stimulate the economy in our community. Because of its effects, new investigators would find our area a good place to commerce, and then new stores, new restaurants would probably follow. Thus, it is more convenient for denizens in shopping or others activities. Third, a new factory, if having profits, will contribute a lot to tax in municipality. And the money could be used for improvement of people’s life, like maintain of roads and building of community facilities.

However, on the other hand, it is not comfortable when taking the disadvantages into account. If the new factory is not managed well, it will be a burden of our community. It takes the space and runs the energy. Also, if not properly regulated, the factory might bring us pollution—the hazard smog, deleterious sewage and masses of waste. Our nice environment will be destroyed and finally our health level will become descend. When all these phenomena happen, it is too late to repeal the contract and remove the factory. So we should concern about it before the consequences.

It is true that it has disadvantages, while it is also attractive and beneficial. In my opinion, we should support the building of new factory to enjoy its merits. Of course, it is vital to solve the detriments when building. The most important thing is how to manage the new factory well. If we have a skilled and improved management on business, and environmental protection, all the disadvantages will be eliminated. And finally, our community will be more developed and prosperous.

欢迎拍砖~回拍呵呵

yanpeiUID: 2138466

字太多了！！350左右就可以了！到时候万一题目不顺那就写不完了！我考的时候就碰到了一个不顺手的题目，才写了300不到，可是5分！！嗬嗬，还是多在句式上下功夫！

sebarinaUID: 2108158

:(我也知道，不过受了GRE的影响，写一个论点就自动派生出3-4个分论点逻辑支持，然后就收不住了……好好改正！

avexUID: 159089

同感
我也是直接当小issue写基本都450-500多，多的就快600了

[ Last edited by avex on 2005-11-29 at 20:04 ]

d_messiahUID: 177468

是得控制一下，我考试前就没怎么练习，结果考场上没收住，前面两个段写完了就有250个字左右了，后面的几个段写的很不好，感觉考试那篇作文最后就是头重脚轻。

juggernautyUID: 2143098

就是，issue的论点要展开的说，动不动就七百字。这个嘛。。

sebarinaUID: 2108158

呼呼发现结尾段忘记贴上来了，反正大家讨论一下字数就好啦~~引以为戒！

夏至未至时UID: 2145170

字数明显多了，同意2楼的，句式的确很重要，建议去看下范文里的经典句式！